Me Or The Reblogger Lol? Because I’ve Been Told I Need To Get Tested By Several Therapists Who Are

The terfbreaking tag is the perfect example of why TIMs are dangerous in women's spaces. It's just male fantasies about raping and sexually degrading women they disagree with. And that's what men do. They see a woman they don't like? They immediately come up with some kind of sexual debasement in their minds because to them that's enough to reduce and dismiss her. They use their sexuality as a weapon against women. And that's what TIMs do on here and call it progressive.

And then people try to claim that it’s because being sapphic is “normalized in media” —you mean porn?? Being fetishized is not the same as being accepted, and it’s still incredibly dangerous. Sure maybe some men will ask you for a threesome and then get grumpy when you refuse and leave it at that (which is still sexual harassment) but many other times they get violent when you don’t fulfill their fantasies. Or they try corrective rape.

The real reason this happens is because our collective understanding of sexuality is phallocentric and a lot of people cannot fathom a healthy and fulfilling relationship between two women. Somehow a dick needs to be involved in some way.

Additionally, in terms of actual media, it is in general more accepted to be a homosexual man and gay men get more time, better story development, and way more attention from fans, as a general group.

You know how sometimes people act like homophobia toward women barely exists? I feel like that definitely plays into the way people act toward bisexual women vs men. Like men are oh so brave for coming out as bisexual and braving homophobia to be true to themselves and why would they lie about it when he could have saved face and stay closeted until he dated a man, how brave. vs with women it's like why would she even come out if she's not dating a woman, she's probably faking it for the clout (no mention of bravery for risking homophobia)

1) This is disturbing and I feel so sorry for this poor couple

2) Stealing lingerie, underwear, or even sexual toys is a huge pattern among TIMs. I remember a male ex I had (before I realized I was a Lesbian) telling me this story of a friend of a friend. This man was “experimenting with his sexuality/gender” and would continually steal his mother’s dildos to fuck himself in the ass with, not even using condoms as a barrier, and then putting it back, and eventually she found out and just let him have it. (I have no issue with anal if that’s what you want to do so don’t get me wrong, but it does have a higher risk of bacterial contamination so extra cleaning and/or protection needs to be involved)

And I had a surprised and disgusted reaction to this, obviously, and he accused me of being transphobic and got pretty upset about that. At the time I wasn’t even a radfem but the idea of people stealing intimate items that touch genitals, and especially returning them so they can be re-used unknowingly by the original owner, is just really gross and inappropriate? I don’t really care what it is or what your purpose of doing so is, unless you’re a 10 year old girl who was jokingly putting on her mom’s bra while doing the laundry, it’s incredibly disgusting. And I see stories of that happening over and over again, and I just feel really bad for their poor mothers and sisters because that has to feel like an incredible violation of privacy.

Male secretly abuses his lesbian sister's clothing for god fucking knows how long...... This is so disgusting I don't even know what to say here. (link)

Idk if this is going to be an unpopular opinion (probably would be in Insta or TikTok but I feel like ppl are a bit more reasonable here), but while goth/punk/grunge/etc are PRIMARILY music and political based subcultures, there is still a fashion element. Fashion is political in today’s world, due to the nature of capitalism and it’s social effects, and the primary hallmark of the fashion side of these subcultures (in their origins) was the DIY clothes that served multiple purposes: reducing your capitalistic footprint, your environmental footprint, and defying social norms of physical presentation. Same thing with makeup, which is weaponized off of women’s insecurities. I respect your right to do whatever you want with yourself but if it happens to be following the exact trends and beauty standards of your current time, it’s not counter-culture.

You can be goth/punk/grunge and dress “normal” because it is primarily musical and political. BUT, you cannot be goth/punk/grunge and wear Shein, Temu, buy into all the latest trends and participate in fast fashion, etc, because that is against the ethics of the subculture. Similarly, we need to stop watering down the look to the point of incomprehension and normalcy and calling it after an alternative counter-cultural group. And I understand being poor, I’ve been low-income for a while now. I thrift what I can but if I really, actually need (not want!) a new pair of jeans and I can’t find one that fits anywhere else, I will go to Walmart and buy a pair from the clearance section. However I then wear and repair that pair of pants until it’s literally tearing apart, and then repurpose the fabric I can salvage into new projects when I can no longer wear it.

“It’s the most punk thing to not care what anyone thinks!!” No it’s not actually. Punk has been defined by it’s almost obsession with politics, ethics, radical empathy with the oppressed, and fighting for change. Ignoring those calling you out on your privilege and your contributions to the capitalistic machine isn’t Punk. And I say all this as someone who’s parents were part of the original alternative scenes back in the 70s-90s, and who’s talked to a lot of people who were in it at the time of its creation.

love calling myself a dyke like yes i am the mean and scary lesbian they warned you about on tv

It's not your place to dictate anyone's sexuality. Labels are supposed to make people feel more secure, not make them feel unaccepted. This is why so many LGBTQIA members feel like they have no place in the community.

Lesbians and gay men are the main perpetrators of this. This is exclusionary, and the same kind of thinking that labels bi women sluts and erases bi men. Stop it and give people room to figure it out

I was originally going to ignore this bc it’s a pretty insane take, but it kept coming back up in my mind and led me to think about labeling in general and how my generation goes about it (and unfortunately for you anon, I stayed just as radical).

There’s two types of labels: static, or inherent, and active, or chosen, labels. Static/inherent labels are things that you are born with, and are obviously observable to everyone that looks at you. Race and sex, most notably. Those do not require you to do anything to make them true, they just are. These are the labels in which rules and stereotypes are pretty much pointless because the color of your skin or your genitals do not determine anything about you other than the fact you have them. It is medical information and nothing more, and does not influence your personality.

However active/chosen labels DO need rules and regulations or they are completely pointless. Even things such as sexual orientation (which you are born with) need you to actively engage with them, even if it is just thinking “I’m gay”, for them to be realized. You are not born, a naked infant, and the doctor looks at you and pronounces you gay, or anarchist punk, or goth, or feminist, etc etc. And since they require actions to fulfill, then having set requirements for a category is vital for us to accurately communicate information to others. And if you do not fit the criteria for a certain label, the only thing that makes any sense is to choose another label that does fit you.

This conflation of the two types of labels has lead to a lot of nightmare messes for the queer community especially, but also even with people claiming they can be conservative and goth and it’s actually more alternative to be conservative and all that mess. Have requirements to be part of a group is literally the foundation for forming a group outside of just the general public, otherwise there is no point in doing so at all.

Also, Anon honestly seems to have more biphobia than I do, which I feel like I come across a lot. As soon as I mention potential bisexuality in someone people immediately start telling me not to slut shame, that I’m erasing bisexual men (somehow?) etc, when never once did I ever say anything bad about bisexual women. I’m close friends with bi women and I love them dearly whether or not they choose to date men because that’s their prerogative. However when I say “bisexual”, you hear “bad”. I do not think it is bad for women to be attracted to men. My complaint is when you claim lesbianism, a female same-sex only orientation, while constantly expressing attraction to men, because that reinforces the “she hasn’t found the right dick yet” narrative that puts lesbians in danger. I was literally just given that line yesterday and then stalked for 45 minutes by a creepy man.

Lesbians are not attracted to men. If you are attracted to men and women you are bisexual/pansexual/whatever word you want to use to express a polysexual orientation. And if you are bisexual, I love you and thank you for your self-reflection and honesty with yourself. Labels exist to give a name to your lived reality, no label is better or worse or cooler than another, and trying to stretch labels to fit things they aren’t is really pointless when the other label that describes you perfectly is literally right there.

Y'all know you can draw a butch woman engaged in sex without giving her a penis, right? To REALLY challenge yourself, draw her without a strap, too! It's just important to me that y'all know these are very real possibilities.

Im not afraid of God, I am afraid of men.

I’m currently on dating apps and have been very frustrated to find out how true this is. The amount of, “Just a doggy with no brain :3 I want to be tied up and then jacked off UwU” transfemmes I’ve come across is crazy. And I’m not on kink apps, just the usual (Hinge, Bumble, HER, I’m not even on tinder). It’s also really frustrating because I already have the fact that I’m not kink friendly in my bio so I wish they’d stop liking my profile and leaving odd messages.

I’ve also gotten a lot of trans men? Despite the fact I have “lesbian” in my bio, which confuses me because if you believe yourself a man, and I am a person only attracted to women, wouldn’t that make you feel invalid?? Confuses me.

Just an observation. Why are such a significant amount of trans people (specifically TIMs) so engrossed in fetishes? Why is ‘puppygirl brat transfem’ so common? I’m supposed to believe it isn’t a fetish for 75% of them when the most popular trans-identified creators on twitter and tiktok post fetish shit. And I wondered this when I was a TRA too.