Being With Someone And Acting Like A Big Silly Dork And Seeing Their Smile And Knowing That They Love

My teachers: Hey! Just wanted to check in with you during these hard times. How are y’all?

Me, not having had a human interaction in weeks: I’m glad you asked,

I stand with my cancelled wife

the concept of having a girlfriend is insane a girl laughs at your jokes enough times and then you’re like i guess it’s my life’s mission to make you do that forever

opens news article. closes three pop up ads. backs out of the survey page i was redirected to. closes a pop up video ad. rejects cookies to make the cookie window go away. dismisses the requests to receive notifications from the website and the offers to sign up for it. dodges ninja lasers and poisonous arrow traps. body of the page is finally visible. i have reached my monthly limit and can’t read the article

eagle: so what do you think about stigmata

prometheus: you know we're in a pre-christian myth, right? like that word doesn't exist yet. your dumb joke is anachronistic.

eagle: stigma talons in your flesh

i was born a biter, i identify as a biter, not my fault, maybe don’t be so biteable and you’ll be safe

not only do girls just want to have fun, I think it's not an overstatement to say that girls just need to have fun

“Just cause I want to fucking die doesn’t mean you should kill me and also everyone else and just cause I hate my life and it’s fucking miserable doesn’t mean you get to make it, or anyone else’s life, more so... lol.”

What I love most about Gen Z is how unbothered but simultaneously extremely bothered we are in general

“I’ll probably die in my 20s and even that is an overestimation of my lifespan. I don’t even give a fuck I just want it to be over soon”

“I stg that if you old dumbfucks do not fix the damage you did to the earth I will put hot sauce in your contact lens solution. Also just vaccinate your kid Jillian they’re probably not gonna end up autistic, you absolute idiot”