You Know, I’ve Been Thinking About The Way Jay Grew Up, And I Think It Explains A Lot About How He

[image ID: the sexyman tournament bracket, with rounds as listed below. /end ID]

MCYT SEXYMAN TOURNAMENT ROUND ONE

Remember, during this round, the top 32 competitors have each received a bye. They will not compete until the second round.

If you are just here to vote, not from tumblr, check here.

If you have questions about the tournament, check the FAQ before asking.

MATCHES (quick links to each poll added as polls are posted):

Fruitberries (64) vs MissTrixtin (65)

Zedaph (33) vs Xephos (96)

VintageBeef (49) vs Fundy (80)

Illumina (48) vs Joey Graceffa (81)

Skizzleman (57) vs Bekyamon (72)

Sneegsnag (40) vs Stressmonster (89)

F1nn5ter (56) vs Rythian (73)

ConnorEatsPants (41) vs Legundo (88)

Eddie the Rabbit (61) vs Sapnap (68)

Clownpierce (36) vs Tubbo (93)

PeteZaHutt (52) vs Papa Caspicito (77)

GeminiTay (45) vs BigBSt4tz (84)

CaptainPuffy (60) vs Grumbot (69)

fWhip (37) vs Karl Jacobs (92)

xBCrafted (53) vs Katherine Elizabeth (76)

Charlie Slimecicle (44) vs Herobrine (85)

ZloyXP (63) vs SaintStarling (66)

BadBoyHalo (34) vs TinFoilChef (95)

Awesamedude (50) vs Reignex (79)

HBomb94 (47) vs Helsknight (82)

Branzycraft (58) vs VikingPilot (71)

LDShadowLady (39) vs Ashswag (90)

RTGame (55) vs Welsknight (74)

Xonorth (42) vs Laurance Zvahl (87)

Reddoons (62) vs ItzSubz_ (67)

Dream (35) vs SeaPeeKay (94)

OwengeJuiceTV (51) vs HitTheTarget (78)

Evil X (46) vs Shubble (83)

Jack Manifold (59) vs Niki Nihachu (70)

FoolishGamers (38) vs Hypnotizd (91)

JoJoSolos (54) vs Punz (75)

Iskall85 (43) vs Stampy* (86)

This is amazing!!

AU where teenage Grian, Mumbo, and Scar are plucked out of their respective universes and brought together.

(Backstories are based off of YHS + Scar and Mumbo's backgrounds as CoD players, but you don't really need any knowledge of either of those things for this AU)

Details below! Heads up, it's going to be a huge mess of rambling, I hope I can make it coherent enough. Also, disclaimer, I know basically nothing about CoD, except that there's a war and you shoot people.

CWs/TWs: Abuse, children in the military (I feel like there should be more, feel free to comment or mention in the tags any that you'd like me to add!)

GRIAN

So basically, Grian's backstory is more or less as it is in the Yandere High School series-- for those who don't know much about it, these are the key details you need to know:

Grian was abandoned by his parents as a young child. He basically had to raise himself-- this is why his last name is unknown. There is no family he actually belongs to.

He had two close friends since kindergarten: Sam, who would grow up to be his abuser, and Taurtis.

He has witnessed and participated in several murders and other felonies in his high school years, most of which he was unwillingly dragged into by Sam. (He's definitely initiated his fair share though.)

Sam has abused him in so many ways that it would be too complicated and lengthy to list them all here-- some examples include gaslighting, threatening with knives, etc.

Uhhhh I'm not sure if I should include him dating Taurtis, since that stuff happened during their third year (18 years old) I'm fairly sure?? Maybe they dated a bit earlier in this AU, obviously minus the... glarging.

Those are the very basics, more or less.

Grian here is extremely jaded regarding people, as well as largely desensitized to things like violence. For a long while, he refuses to speak to either Mumbo or Scar-- Scar especially, because he finds an uncomfortable resemblance to Sam. I like to think that when Scar learns Grian's name initially, he flubs the pronunciation a bit due to how unusual it is. All it takes is for 'Gree-on' to absentmindedly leave his mouth once, and Grian wants nothing to do with him for at least a few weeks.

He warms up to Mumbo a bit quicker, sort of in the way a cat will warm up quickest to the person in a group who wants the least to do with them. Mumbo leaves him alone-- Mumbo displays very little threat, so he gravitates towards him more.

As time passes, he becomes more outgoing and more chaotic and rebellious, the latter of which stems mainly from his need not to be under anyone's control or manipulation ever again. In fact, he's kind of a dick about it at first-- but he mellows out eventually as time heals his wounds. He learns to have genuine fun again. To let himself trust that his new friends won't hold a knife to his throat at the slightest inconvenience.

~~~~~~

MUMBO + SCAR

Scar was recruited into the army at 10, orphaned by the war and taken in by the military to be raised into a soldier with no choice at all in the matter.

Scar got all of his- well, scars, from battle. He was the best sharpshooter in the field even at his young age, and incredibly strong to boot. Essentially, he was a prodigy, given high praise by his comrades and his superiors. Although, he wasn't exactly happy in his position... it was just kind of what he did. What he was always just supposed to do, no questions asked since as far back as childhood. Being pulled out of the war is scary, at first, but a massive relief too.

Mumbo, on the other hand, was recruited at the much later age of 15 and not built for war in the slightest. The higher-ups in the military thought having a vampire might be useful, with what they assumed would be much higher strength and resistance to the sight of blood. However, that's not really what they got. He wasn't particularly good at fighting, couldn't control his physical strength in a way that'd be useful to the army, and took longer than most to adjust to the horrors of the battlefield.

What he was, however, was an extremely gifted mechanic-- he could repair machinery and weapons like nothing else. He tinkered with gadgets in his little free time. In spite of that, however, he was never happy in the military. Much like with Scar, getting suddenly poofed away into another, more peaceful place is one of the best things that happens to him.

Having been comrades for years, Mumbo and Scar know each other pretty well. Though, admittedly, young Mumbo sees Scar as a bit of a "person in my general vicinity who is super nice to me, but also I don't know if we're really friends, because they are WAY too cool for me". They do end up becoming more genuinely close as time goes on, enough for Mumbo to be able to lightheartedly poke fun at Scar without a second thought.

Scar does his best to be social with Grian, especially since he already knows Mumbo pretty well. However, for reasons unknown to him, Grian really doesn't like his company-- which saddens him more than he wants to admit, considering he's the first new person around his age that he's seen in years, but he smiles it off (it's the only way he really knows how to cope with negative emotions, really. It's how he's kept himself from losing it altogether).

Mumbo, on the other hand, is outright unnerved by Grian at first. He's uncannily desensitized and guarded for a civilian, and he doesn't like it. After all, Mumbo literally fought in a war and he hasn't gotten used to its atrocities (yet. i'll have you know that he does in fact grow more down to murder later /lh)-- and here Grian is, not batting an eye at the prospect of them. He can even use a gun with little to no issue. It doesn't help much that Grian seems to stick around him more than he does Scar.

(also i like to think that Mumbo cannot grow even a single whisker on his face until he's like 20, a time upon which his moustache just sprouts overnight out of nowhere /hj)

AHhHhHhH

THEY!!

America has a weird relationship with cults where they’re terrified of small cults (or organizations they think are cults) but completely normalized massive cults that hurt many more people (eg: LDS Church, Jehovah’s Witnesses, the Amish, Scientology, most Megachurches)

I love the idea of everyone on Hermitcraft being some hybrid or supernatural creature or magic or something and it's totally normal in universe but Keralis is just some guy.

But the thing is, Keralis has no idea everyone else is supernatural, he just assumes they're also weirdos. And everyone else has no idea Keralis is just a human, they just assume he's also some kind of supernatural entity.

Because if you ask, everyone on Hermitcraft is like: "Oh Keralis? Of course he's magic or something. Have you met him? I don't know his deal but he's definitely not a human," but slowly they start to realize, "Hey hold on, do any of you know what the heck Keralis is? Have any of you actually seen Keralis do anything unambiguously magic?"

So the Hermits start watching him a little closer and start to see, actually no, he can't teleport. Keralis literally just sat up in Scar's tree for like three hours to appear behind him when he got home. He can't hypnotize anyone, he's just weirdly charismatic. Keralis isn't immune to fire, he's just really chill about burning to death. Keralis can't breathe underwater, he's just good at holding his breath and likes hanging out in xB's fish tank for some reason.

Everything they assumed was apart of his supernatural skill set is just a byproduct of him being really weird? The Hermits are totally baffled, how is Keralis the only human on the server? That can't be right. There are debates among different Hermits about their own pet theories.

Finally, one of them straight up asks in a meeting. When Xisuma asks if anyone has anything they want to talk about for the day, Jevin cuts in, "Okay, I know this isn't really what meetings are for but Keralis, buddy, we've been trying to figure out for like weeks. What are you?"

"Hm? What do you mean?"

"Like what are you? Are you a hybrid who didn't get many features? Are you a wizard? Are you undead? Cyborg? Genuinely. Everyone's been trying to figure it out." There are murmurs of agreement from the table.

Keralis nods his head like he understands (he doesn't), "Oh I get it now. I don't really play dress up like you guys. I've thought about it but I just don't even know what I would be," when he's only met with confused looks, Keralis tries clarifying, "I mean, sorry to drop the roleplaying, but it's like how Cleo isn't actually a zombie. It's makeup and such. I don't know what I would be. I've thought about it but I'm no good at making costumes or doing makeup, anyhow."

Everyone blinks at him, "I can literally detach all of my limbs, Keralis, what do you mean I'm not a zombie?"

Keralis tilts his head in confusion, "They're prosthetics, no?"

Tango cuts in, "Keralis, we're not roleplaying. At least not about this. I mean, you've literally seen me walk through a lava lake!"

xB chuckles, "Also, I both have fins and live underwater."

"Yeah hang on," Grian is the first to finally catch on to what's happening, "What did you think was going on when I literally flew with my actual wings that are attached directly to my back? I was good at DIY?"

"Uh...Yes?"

The whole table erupts into a bunch of confused conversations overlapping with each other. Some Hermits are just listing times they did something blatantly supernatural, half of them are just gesturing broadly at the most visibly obvious examples of 'not a human' at the table, and the rest are trying to question Keralis on how he could've ever possibly believed this.

Finally, Xisuma and Doc get the whole group settled down and Xisuma asks Keralis directly, "K, buddy, how did you think that we were all human?"

Keralis looks a little like his whole body is rebooting "Well, I — Shashwammy — I mean, monsters aren't real?" Keralis looked around the table for support, "I thought, I mean, aren't all of you are just normal people? I mean, not normal, you're like me. You're weird and have funny skills and weird and sweet faces and I love that! But I thought it was just like, a way of showing that weirdness? Are you guys pranking me? Because I don't know if it's funny anymore,"

Xisuma sort of laughs hesitantly, "We're not pranking you, K. I mean, magic is just all around us. With potions and enchanting. You have to see that. Some of us just come from different places."

Keralis is still really confused but the situation seems to be finally dawning on him. "Wait...am I the only human here? Shashwam?"

"Yeah, I think you might be, K,"

Somebody starts laughing and suddenly the whole meeting room is just cracking up.

"How did this happen?!" Impulse is a little breathless, "Keralis! The only human on Hermitcraft!"

Keralis shrugs and shoots Impulse a grin, "I guess it's just my killer personality and awesome cool skills that threw all of you off."

"I still can't believe that you just thought we were really into roleplay," Grian says.

"I—! Well, in my defense..." Keralis doesn't really know how to finish that sentence actually and the table starts laughing harder.

Everyone eventually settles down and xB speaks up, "Yknow, I think you should take everyone just assuming you were something as a compliment. Because it is! Only you. Only Keralis could somehow be the weirdest one of all of us as a totally human person."

"Only Keralis," Xisuma agreed with a chuckle.

"Awwe, you guys!" Keralis feels all mushy and happy, "Come over here and I'm going to give you all big kisses!"

Hermitcraft's local human tugs everyone into a big group hug, doomed to be mercilessly teased for every very obvious clue he missed until the end of time.

Day 234: the watchers gave him zoomies real not fake

Hey, if you're a minor and you're following my blog, I just need you to be aware:

You have been on this earth for fewer years than my cat has.

She turns 20 this week, everyone please say happy birthday 🥳💖

THE STREAM IS SO FUNNY

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do me a solid and just reblog this saying what time it is where you are and what you’re thinking about in the tags.

Mr GoodTimes