Prawncess... Princess Prawn

i saw sisyphus taking his rock for a walk on the flat flat ground. and his shirt said "if you say 'where's the hill' you are the hill"

Do you think the Jack of all trades and the master of one explored each others bodies

Dipping you in a river of estradiol and holding onto you by the ankle and when you're pulled out you've grown cat ears

porn is bad because [christian talking point] and [alt-right study] and [misunderstood neurochemistry] and of course [feature of capitalism]

A Jupiter truth is 1.2 times truer than an earth truth.

wait did something happen to Jesus

The reason why God was so involved in human affairs a long time ago but then noped out after Jesus is because God is going through the same motions for every animal species: making a covenant, giving commandments, and sending down his own child to die in the form of that species. I know this because I felt an odd urge to swallow a mouse yesterday and, when I questioned it, I received a vision from God saying that He was on mice right now, and the mouse I was about to swallow was the mouse-equivalent of Jonah. Tomorrow I'm supposed to spit him out in a den of sinful mice so that he can squeak to word of God at them. I wish that little guy the best.

For every dollar donated we will bonate one bollar

my date orders a single grain of rice and before the waiter even places it on the table I ask "you gonna finish that or can I have some"

"naturally blond" nothing about that is natural