The First Time I Read Ursula Le Guin’s The Ones Who Walk Away From Omelas, My Chest Constricted With

what I genuinely CANNOT comprehend is how adults find it remotely acceptable to use the "I'm the earning member" / "I pay the rent" / "this is my house" argument towards children and actively encourage it but when used towards a non earning spouse it's acknowledged as being abusive? So you admit that you don't see your children as autonomous individuals with basic human rights?

"you can't wear that in my house. you can become an earning member and buy a house and do whatever you want there" directed towards a child is okay but directed towards, for example, a homemaker wife, is abuse? make it make sense how the former ISN'T?

Why tf does someone need to be over 18 to have basic body autonomy? Why tf does a person need to be an earning member to be considered as a person having inherent worth/dignity/for their word to be taken into consideration (at the very least)?

I have witnessed leftists who believe in prisoners rights justifying spanking and I don't understand. If you can understand that people in power hitting incarcerated people to "correct" them is a violation of human rights and an abuse of authority, how do you not understand the same logic when it comes to parents and children?

People who complain about power and abuse of power rarely acknowledge one of the most primary forms of abuse of power - against children. And that's just hypocrisy at its finest.

sometimes I can tell when an episode is going to hit me y'know? my chest sinks and my head feels like all the air's been drained out of it, like till now it's been filled with water and feeling as such, but then when an episode is about to hit me or when I feel it coming, that water just flows out. and my throat feels cloggy and my tummy/chest area feels weird. Nowadays I can distract myself before it hits because I've numbed myself down so much and I've suppressed myself to much that I can swish it away or press it down so that I can prevent one, but then I just go back to feeling lonely or empty or whatever. and yeah, that's bad too

I'm sad.

I feel like there's no point to anything. The only thing I do everyday, the entire day, is stay on my phone or my laptop or sleep or eat, nothing else. I feel so drained and demotivated and just so empty.

aro musings

Since childhood, I’ve been repeatedly told that blood relationships trump bonds by choice, since the former’s permanence can never be debated, never be challenged. It took me some time to realize what exactly was meant by that: bonds made by choice can as easily be broken by choice, and that the sole security offered by blood is the simple fact that you cannot transfuse your entire blood stream. That was an epiphany, because it meant despite the one million EXIT doors all around us, the people I’d chosen had chosen me back; but it also meant the people I share blood with don’t have a single EXIT door to truly make their love for me, a love on purpose.

I don’t want permanence if it’s by obligation; I don’t want people standing beside me through dark and stormy skies if it’s the cement on their feet holding them there. I would rather have loved ones who are windborne, who have the choice to fly and see the sky, but stop and land for me from time to time even when the sky is clear and blue and perfect. I’ve read about families by choice, but it wasn’t until I saw four women in a polyamorous relationship co-parenting adopted babies that a semblance of hope for my own future was restored. I do not wish to be ensnared by romance or monogamy or any hierarchical relationship; I want what people dream of: a queer couple to adopt them so they wouldn’t feel alone; I want what people have: a best friend to co-parent each other’s pets with; I want what people don’t see: a family of friends.

-kpm ©

[tbc]

funny (not really) how the same people who find certain professions/occupations "dishonorable" and "degrading" have no issue availing services of the people who do those jobs. If you want to avail someone's services, respect what they do or fuck off.

How many reminders is too many annoying reminders?

I'm so tired, like so so so tired

I just wanna end but I can't cause I'm a coward

Can't stop crying why

No point

TW : VIOLENCE AGAINST ANIMALS//DEATH

SPOILER ALERT FOR FLEABAG

I keep thinking about the scene where Fleabag tells Boo about the 11 year old boy who was put in juvie because he inserted the rubber part of the pencil up a hamster's rectum, and instead of making a joke about it or saying something on the lines of how he deserved it, Boo is surprised that they didn't provide him with proper mental health care. She tells Fleabag that he obviously wasn't happy, because "happy" people don't do things like that - he should've been given help instead of a punishment. She says the entire point of pencils having an eraser at the end is cause people make mistakes.

Now flash forward to the future where Fleabag tells people how Boo died - she wanted to make her boyfriend feel guilty for cheating on her by getting admitted to a hospital for light injuries, she did not want die by suicide, but unfortunately that wasn't how it went - and we realise that Boo made a mistake, and it wasn't one that could be corrected using an eraser. That is also when we realise that Boo wasn't a "happy" person either, because "happy" people don't do that.

Instead of demonizing her for emotional manipulation, or blaming her for dying, Fleabag is compassionate and that is one of the million reasons why I love this show.