Something

Something that kills me about rdr1 is John's apparent feelings towards the Javier, Bill, and Dutch.

Javier, he is 50/50 with. He can kill him or turn him in alive. It's clear that he's still very hurt from what happened between them, but it's also apparent how he still cares deeply for him. He talks highly of him. Fondly, even, as Reyes puts it. When choosing to kill Javier, he sheds a tear before bitterly spitting on his body.

When killing Bill, John shows little to no remorse. Sure, he tries to settle things civilly to begin with, but after realizing that he has no other choice, he doesn't make a big fuss about it. He doesn't think twice about shooting Bill in the dirt and handing his body over.

Then there's Dutch.

After handing over Bill's body, John demands his family be returned home safe and sound, only for Agent Ross to remind him that he still needs to find Dutch. John doesn't want to. He was trying to get out of it. He was hoping that Ross would just forget about Dutch now that he's gotten Javier and Bill.

John and Dutch play this cat and mouse game over and over, chasing after each other, tormenting each other, shooting at each other, but never killing one another.

Then there's the final stand off.

John had the full opportunity to shoot Dutch where he stood on the edge of that cliff, but he didn't. He couldn't. Before him, he didn't see a monster. He saw the man who raised him. He saw a father.

In his hesitation, Dutch also had every advantage to turn this around and kill John. But he doesn't. He watched Arthur die. Hell, he killed Arthur. He killed his other son, and he knows it. It haunts him. He can't kill the other one, too. So instead, he kills himself.

After his fall, Ross comments on the fact that even after all this time, John still didn't have the guts to kill Dutch. He then takes John's gun and shoots Dutch's lifeless body to make it appear as if John had killed him. "Looks better in the papers," he says.

It's such a heartbreaking detail. They couldn't hurt each other up on Mount Hagen. They couldn't hurt each other in the end.

i have a son at home and a daughter in heaven

TW: SUGGESTIVE

Me every time I get the chance to greet greet antagonize

(Full on my Twitter/X ! : senshuuuuu_)

“you’re my brother.”

“i know.”

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All of her sorrow won’t fit in her chest

I don't like coloring my drawings but i tried

i will die your son.