When I Say “free Water, Free Food, Free Shelter, Free Healthcare, Free Education For Everyone” In

The great dragon migration

"It doesn't have to be like this. We could have it so much better"

Calligraffiti in Chicago, Illinois

#Marine fashion

fashion is cyclical

The way I see it, there are two kinds of shame:

Shame for doing something actually bad

Shame for doing something others/society has told you is bad

The first includes things that actually cause harm to someone, like a thoughtless comment or stepping on your dog's paw, etc. These are actions which require acknowledgement and amends.

The second is much broader, and includes everything from liking bad movies to being queer. These are things that may be unusual but are ultimately harmless. Someone or something in your life has just treated that oddity as a transgression, and one way or another you've internalized that perspective.

In my opinion it is crucially important for your well-being to be able to separate the two. If you don't, and you're treating the shame of having punched someone identically to liking a critically-panned movie, you're going to be a anxious wreck. You'll be constantly over-analyzing and policing yourself, feeling like a bad person who's just been really good at hiding it so far.

In the worst cases you might lash out at other people enjoying harmless things, redirecting your shame outward and becoming unable to distinguish truly harmful actions from those you’ve just been taught are bad.

Shame is a feeling that can really eat away at you if you let it. It's best to know when it's appropriate. If it is, you can act on it to resolve what's happened. If it's not, you can let that feeling go so it doesn't take any more from you.

I have come to the same conclusion. It is quite likely I won't become less sensitive and always have some strong, not fully rational feelings. But if I'm not a dick about it, neither to myself nor others, it is actually a good opportunity to learn about myself and give myself empathy. I can also be open with people about my sensitivities, this way they get to know me better, and we get closer. It also makes other people feel comfortable talking to me about their sensitive or irrational moments. I feel I learned more and more how to turn my thin skin into a journey of growth and connection, and to not wish it would get thicker.

”getting thicker skin” is great in theory but I think for some people “get better at handling your thin skin” is gonna be way more helpful advice. I have strong emotional reactions to criticism and they might never go away, but i can continue to try and handle each situation maturely and that’s the important part. Sometimes irrational feelings are chronic and living with them is better than trying to beat yourself up into not having them.

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Hmmm I know octopuses are generally sweet and gentle and are just curious sea puppies (and I love them!), that being said, the thoughts of being dragged by my feet by one of them into the deep and dark ocean is… safe to say new fear has been unlocked

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I feel that you summarized in a single sentence everything I want to do with my writing, and pretty much what I want to do with my life the most. Thank you so much for that.

And cheers to all people who already do exactly that, and the ones who want to join. Let's have a guild.

My contribution, I hope, is to find the ideas that matter the most and connect them in a way that is highly actionable.