Spent My New Year Eve With Dead Writers.

Therefore, do not hesitate to make a mistake and continue searching until you find the right person.

k.b. // human design analysis

Saturday's study log and reflections.

Jakarta on that Saturday was quite solemn, despite the news that has broken so many people's hearts. People—from high school students to middle- and lower-class workers, individuals to organizations and political parties—took to the streets (specifically in front of the House of Representatives at Senayan and the KPU - General Elections Commission - at Menteng) to protest recent political events that felt like violations of Indonesia's fundamental laws. The protests began on August 22, 2024, and continued on August 23 and August 24, although the last two days weren't as massive as the first.

As someone who studies Human Rights and a small portion of international law, what these masses of people did in Jakarta and other cities in Indonesia is solid evidence of how people in this country still love democracy and want it to remain the government's solemn system. The protests they voiced (and will keep voicing until their goals are accomplished) help to restore the checks and balances that the government of Indonesia seems to have forgotten, as they have become drunk with power.

Many protesters were hurt, and some even lost their eyes. It's heartbreaking that the cost of democracy is the blood of its own people who need it the most.

This massive event reflects what I've been studying these past two months in my EDX course: Human Rights, Human Wrong. I've learned how a government can be both the protector and the abuser of its own people. What happened in Indonesia is a clear example. This realization has deepened my understanding of the delicate balance required to maintain a just society and the courage needed to stand up against injustice.

I may not take part in the protest directly, but let me do my part by sharing the stories of people who came back home safely and how they cried about their friends' brutal abductions by police. Let me share the screams for justice of people who are moving en masse to regain the utmost power of democracy. Their courage and determination inspire me to use my voice to amplify their cause, ensuring that their struggles are not forgotten.

Let the government realize how easily they can gain power, and how easily it can slip away from their hands. Democracy is not just a system but a living, breathing entity that requires constant vigilance and care from both the governed and those who govern.

Pikiran yang Racau.

“Apa betul yang datang padamu adalah kasih setia tak bertepi, ataukah kesepian yang sedang mengerubungi sanubari waras?” adalah tanyaku yang tak mampu dibisikkan padamu, sehingga aku beralih pada mencari ganggang yang tumbuh liar di sungai-sungai kumuh Jakarta. Betul-lah itu, bahwa aku tak tahan dengan busuknya limbah, tapi aku pun tak lebih tahan untuk hidup tanpa menulis tentangmu barang sehari saja.

Dan inilah aku dan rasa tak sampaiku padamu Sang Bintang kecil yang berkelip terang nun jauh di samudera misteri Bimasakti, sungguhlah berani yang bodoh, bagi lumpur di pinggiran Ciliwung untuk mendamba kejora yang cantiknya kekal beribu tahun.

Berduka-lah aku dan hatiku, seketika merasa seperti debuan aspal proyek yang tak kunjung selesai, terbengkalai dan menyusahkan, hanya bisa mengangakan mulut menerima serpihan batu kerikil yang terlempar ke dalam perut dan bertemu asam lambung.

October 28th 2024

𝔞𝔣𝔱𝔢𝔯𝔫𝔬𝔬𝔫 𝔠𝔬𝔣𝔣𝔢𝔢 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔰𝔦𝔩𝔢𝔫𝔠𝔢 ☕️

I love X (formerly Twitter), it helps find cute things.

The Secret History by Donna Tartt

I liked Henry. It was happened rather naturally due to the tendency of mine to like cold and mysterious characters. The book synopsis on the book, will not giving you anything rather than a thought of 'ah this book is about students who discovered about the lost history from Ancient Greek and the fact is they're going to change the world with their discovery'. Mind you, I wasn't a Penguin Publisher collector/reader type of girl. Rather, I am more like 'I read what I want and what my heart desired, whenever I want'. So to be frank, this was my very first 500+ pages English novel that I could finish. Which is surprising cause I remember I bought this book only for the aesthetic.

The beginning of the book was so brutal, with the fact that someone has died, not just died but murdered. What a start, isn't it? But it's classic, it ought to be mysterious and made you uncomfortable to sleep without knowing what happen next. The thing about this type of book (modern classic), you'll know that this is a masterpiece when the first sentence of the book was about death.

I lost my words, to be honest. But me, here, right after finishing the book, not for criticizing the book, but only to stay sane. The thing that solely going through my mind is how furious I am yet I feel so empty cause this book is just end like that. Not giving me enough closure that I need!

I almost hate everyone in this book, even with Bunny. But then, by the end of the book, I pity myself. I pity myself for even mad at them all.

Bring back my sanity. I pity myself for not even mad at their wrong-doings to Bunny

In Indonesian, they say: Terima kasih untuk 4 tahunnya, selamat berpisah.

In poetry, I say:

"Lika liku Menteng yang sudah aku hafal di luar nalarku, tak bakal terbuang sia-sia karena tiap sudutnya akan aku lantunkan doa paling tulus pada Maha Kuasa, yaitu Dia yang pernah kita temui rutin bersama di bawah langit-langit gereja. Biarlah suka duka senang sedih yang bertumpuk jadi memori, terurai dengan sempurna dalam sanubari, beralih jadi ruh dan energi baru tuk ingatkan diri bahwa cinta tak pernah mati hanya berubah perwujudan."

I Who Have Never Known Men by Jacqueline Harpman

I need everyone to go to bookstore and grab this book ASAP.

This book wrecked me in a very great way.

"I'm a woman written in a cryptic dead language."

Source : 📍 pinterest

This book is older than me.

Second book of Pramoedya Ananta Toer's Buru Quartet: Anak Semua Bangsa (Children of All Nations), published in 1980.