Doing More Than One? Choose Whichever You Found The Most Helpful. ❤️

Fake it till you make it, Star City Kitchen edition.

Danny, outed to the government as a ghostly entity, is not only wanted by the government but unable to find work because of that.

Sam gave him money to help him escape, but an unfortunate run in with more than one gang of meta traffickers blew through that in an instant.

He needs a job. He needs to find a place to sleep.

He decides to answer an ad in a newspaper, for a personal chef for an unnamed person. Is it sketchy? Yes. Is it very likely to be under the table with no government checks? Also yes.

Besides, if it turns out to be someone bad, he can just go invisible and disappear for a bit. It'll be...unfortunate, cuz he'll have to steal what he needs, but it's doable.

He arrives at the meeting place, and there's a car waiting to pick him up.

Okay.

He gets in the car. Secondary location, here he comes.

It drives to a mansion.

Oh no.

It's Oliver Queen.

Oliver Queen put up that ad.

Oliver Queen takes one look at him, hums, and says that Danny is absolutely what he was looking for. That Danny just looks like how a chef should look.

Five minutes later, Danny finds himself in a kitchen larger than his old house, internally panicking and scrolling as fast as he can through cooking lessons on youtube.

Turns out, Danny's got a knack for cooking.

Like, he's actually pretty phenomenal at it.

If the food isn't trying to come back to life and eat him, once he's got the basics down, it's pretty easy to throw together a meal.

~~~~~~

Oliver, sleep deprived and injured, meant to ask Stan to make him something to eat.

Somehow he failed step one of just texting the man, and ended up reaching out to and placing an ad in a local newspaper for a personal chef.

Naturally, when someone answers it, he decides to get them over to his place so he can apologize for his stupidity and pay them the money they lost wasting time going to him.

Except that's a kid.

A dirty, unkempt, homeless teenager.

And...fuck.

Look, Oliver isn't a complete and total jackass, and it's not like the kid can mess up much if he's in the kitchen, of all places.

So he pretends like the ad is legit. Throws the kid in the kitchen.

Accidentally finds out that the kid wasn't fucking lying about being a good chef that was out of practice, holy shit? This food is so good????

Looks into the kid's background, quietly.

...

And in true Green Arrow fashion, uncovers a government conspiracy.

Beauty untold

Palasaki but make them a pre-raphalite painting ✨️💕

I think it's extra funny if you consider that during his time on the streets he almost certainly would have seen/heard people having sex, or talking to the sex workers in the alley, so he knows what sex is, he just never put two and two together.

"that's stupid, people have sex all the fucking time without having kids"

"that's,,, that's because they use birth control or condoms or whatever,,,"

Jason died pretty young, right? And it's not like he had a great education before that- and we all know Bruce is too awkward to give Jason any kinda talk so it's most likely he still doesn't know where babies come from.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bruce: Here is your other brother, Damian

Jason: Wow another one Brucie? the baby-storks must really like you huh?

Jason: why are you all looking at me like that

This is because Selena is the best

*screaming through tears* THIS IS EVERYONES DAILY REMINDER THAT IT WASNT STEPHS FUCKING FAULT. IT NEVER EVEN OCCURED TO SELINA TO BLAME STEPH BECAUSE SHE WAS A KID AND BRUCE DIDNT FUCKING TELL HER FUCKING ANYTHIGN

John had finally sucked it up and asked the big bad bat for permission to enter the city. He was expecting a lot of things, curses, demons, the feeling of someone walking over your grave, but what he was entirely unprepared for was the feeling of giddy happiness that washed over him when he entered the city limits.

He walked everywhere, from the rich mansions in Bristol, to the dingy streets of a place literally called crime alley, and no one even gave him a threatening glare!

This was deeper then he thought. This wasn't a demon harnessing curses, this was the spirit of the city itself shouting out in glee.

He had two options now; he could call in Deadman and try to talk to Gotham, or he could brace himself for the inevitable fallout whenever this temporary mood left, and batman tried to take on the force of who knows how many suppressed curses all by himself.

You know, hell is pretty nice this time of year.

DPxDC idea that has been floating around my head for a few months now:

Gotham, given its whole... thing with Lazurus Pools and general bad vibes, has a ghostly representative. Lady Gotham, when she bothers to be coporeal, looks like an influential lady from the 1920s, straight art deco elegance. A real classy girl.

Jazz is touring college campuses around the US. She has full ride offers from Gotham University, Metroplis College, and Star City State, to name a few. Danny, upon hearing that his sister is going to GOTHAM of all cities, decides he is going on this trip with her. He might be only 15, but his big sister isn't getting mugged while he has half an afterlife left to live!

Lady Gotham is all a flutter! Why the last ghost king was so frumpy! King Phantom is so handsome and powerful, and he is coming to her city. She absolutely has to show off her best side! She feels like a teenaged girl getting her home ready before a new beau comes to visit. She's flustered, she's nervous.

Meanwhile, John Constatine wakes up with cosmic alarm bells going off because something really, really bad is happening. He investigates to dicsover that for the past three days Gotham has not had a single crime.

No murders, muggings, hell not even a single jay walker!

Gotham the most cursed place on the North Or South American continent is suddenly more squeaky clean than whatever small farm town Superman grew up in.

No crimes, no smog in the air. Crime Lords seemingly gone in a puff of smoke, Assassins asleep in their beds.

Its so freaky. Even Batman is spooked and he is never spooked by anything.

Constantine is certain some demon or other nefarious being is harnessing Gothams cursed energy for some evil plot. Gathering the power to use it like a nuclear blast. Batman is concerned about mass mind control.

Lady Gotham is doing the metaphysical equivalent of hiding all of your stuff in a closet before a guest comes over because you dont have time to actually clean. She had to shoulder the thing closed! She just knows that when the lock fails there will be a huge mess.

Jazz and her family are just surprised about how nice Gotham U's campus is. She'd heard it was so dark and dangerous, but everyone is smiling and pleasant to her! Danny is just happy Jazz is safe from various villains.

So we have Batman investigating his rogues gallery for mind control plots, Constatine hunting for demons, Jazz and her family taking a walking tour of Gotham U, and Lady Gotham using every bit of her ghostly powers to make sure her damned, cursed city doesnt embarrass her in front of her crush!

No but like, this is great, because Cass can help him get legal protections for being a meta, help him get bat gear, and all sorts of stuff when she finds out about phantom, they could be a hero duo! Black bat and phantom would be the perfect combination of scary and charming

Danny was forced to flee from his home universe due to the actions of the Guys in White.

At first, his new universe of choice seemed amazing! Sure the crime rate seemed higher than back home, but superpowers a known thing! If his powers are discovered, he’ll have actual legal protections! And better yet, they have actual living aliens!!

But then as he tried to integrate himself into a normal life, he found the catch.

Apparently, pheromones and associated “pack” instincts are an integral aspect of social interactions in this universe. And since he’s from a different one, he has neither.

It’s like being an outcast at Casper High all over again.

Without the pheromones, he comes off as uncannily flat to basically everyone he meets—never mind how he’s constantly missing context about the people around him. And even if someone does try to connect with him, it seems like his lack of pack instincts might make him come across as dismissive anyway.

He already struggled with social cues sometimes before, but this made things a million times worse.

Luckily, he’s already found a light in the darkness.

Cass.

He’s not quite sure how he befriended the quiet girl, but she’s the best. Even without having pheromones, she seems to just get him. Plus, she’s been indispensable in helping him learn how to understand and navigate social situations properly.

As far as he’s concerned, she’s basically an angel.

He gets the sense she was an outsider like him too once, though he hasn’t tried to pry into her backstory. The last thing he wants is to damage their friendship.

Which is also why he’s trying to keep his growing crush on the down-low too. He doubts she feels the same way, so there’s no reason to rock the boat.

More on this, post Jason getting Lazarused, pre red hood

John chewed on the end of his cigarette as he drew a circle in chalk on the ground. It didn't have any magical symbols- just the words infinite realms written with ecto infused ink.

He stomped out the barely smouldering cig and lit up the ring with some magic, watching as a swirling green portal opened up underneath him.

"you better fucking be here kid, because I do not want to waste my time in there"

He couldn't summon the spirit, couldn't risk ripping him from his afterlife, but clockworks clock tower had a record of every ghost that ever was and ever will be, and it was kind of the least he could do after bringing the fucking batman to tears.

I've seen a lot of Constantine mentoring Danny fics and prompts, and one of them had a random joke in the tags that John and clockwork had "history" and this immediately came into my brain

The justice league were sitting around the table, John Constantine sipping from his seemingly neverending flask and ignoring whatever the hell batsy was droning on about.

"Constantine" batman growled, "this is not a joke or a game, this is a potentially world-ending threat, pay attention"

"yeah, yeah, you got a ghost problem, do you even have a fuckin picture of 'em?" Ancients, whenever bats got on his high horse it was easier to go along with him, but he sure made it hard to like the fucker

Batman grunted and projected a staticy blurred photo of a young man with whispy white hair in a black Hazmat suit floating about a pond covered in transparent green blobs.

He couldn't contain his laugh as he looked at the photo "that's why you called this meeting? You think he's a world ending threat? Ha! Your little he'll spawn more of a threat than Danny"

Ok, so maybe it wasn't his best idea to provoke bats but seriously! This was a goddamn joke, kid wouldn't hurt a fly! Unless it was a ghost, but like, that's a ghost thing, fighting is how they make friends

"you mean you have met this entity?" Bats growled, tense and staring directly at john

"Yeah I've met him, he's my stepson" and oh, he /knew/ bats was gonna interrogate him to hell and back, but that stunned silence, the astonished aura? That was so fuvking worth it

DP x DC prompt [6]

Weapon design always came easy to Jack Fenton. He grew up with it, all the way back in Atlantis, when he was just a little guppy.

What he wasn’t aware of at the time was that his parents were from a long and prestigious line of scientists and weapon manufacturers in Atlantean society. But things had been getting dangerous. 

The King at the time cast them out when they refused his demands of greater, stronger, deadlier weapons. The kind of weapons they knew would not only destroy their enemies, but themselves as well.

They fled and went where they thought they would never be found, the surface.

Jack had the easiest time adapting, being as young as he was getting used to breathing air was a lot less of a struggle. 

He adopted one of the most generic male names he could, and adapted the family name of Fenestratus into Fenton. And then it was just living as a human, as humanly as possible, nothing to see here.

By now Jack basically doesn’t know any better. but this piece of heritage is coming back now all these years later, when his son is looking to him for help from the government.

But first he holds his boy close and apologizes, because he sees the fear, and he understands a little too well, and he doesn’t like the picture he’s seeing now that all the puzzle pieces are falling into place.

“I almost became the thing I hate the most. I’m so sorry Danny, I’m sorry I made you feel unsafe in your own home”

The hug is long and warm and tight and Danny isn’t ashamed to admit he might have clung a little bit.

Then Jack holds Danny tightly by his shoulders and gives him a big grin, “Good news though, you’re only half ghost, the other half is not only human but also Atlantean, and there are laws protecting us now” Jack mutters to himself, “I wonder if the whole ghost stuff would actually be put under the meta protection thing… hmm”

Danny blinks for a moment, Jazz gapes, Maddie is suddenly no longer spiraling about how her baby boy got in a terrible accident in their lab and she didn’t know.

“I’m also what?”

“Dad!?”

“oh did I forget to mention that? I thought I did, I know for certain that I had been meaning to”

“Jack sweetie, are you-”

“oh yes, and I remember now, I decided to tell you after our big breakthrough because I didn’t want to distract you, and-” Jack looks sheepish, “I hope you aren’t too mad at me Maddiecakes”

“mad? oh I would never be mad at you about this but we could have- I don’t know, accommodated- Atlanteans are aquatic, well I guess that explains how you could always put away so much water, and when you gave me your umbrella and I thought you were just making an excuse when you told me you didn’t mind and in fact loved getting pelted by the rain-”

Maddie goes on, and Jack thinks to himself that this is exactly the reason why he kept it to himself at the time, Maddie never half asses anything, he’s sure a lot of things are going to change in the house now, it honestly only makes him fall in love with her even more.

Meanwhile Jazz had filled up a bucket of water and then dunked her head in, then came back out not even slightly gasping for breath, just saying “oh my god” over and over.

Danny timed it, “yeah okay, I guess that proves it. now I’m starting to wonder if my weird relationship with air is ghost related at all”

He a little confused but he's got the spirit

So was someone gonna tell me that kiteman became a villain because the riddler killed his son, or was I just supposed to find out from a crossover ficlet??

Danny: Omg! It's you! I'm a huge fan of your work!

Kiteman: What? Really?

Danny: Yeah! Do you know how cool it is to meet someone who flies and rarely attacks civilians? I broke the Riddler's knee caps in your honor! Can I have your autograph?

Kiteman: Of course! Would you like a picture, too?

Danny: WOULD I!?

Bruce watching from a rooftop: Everyone move in on Kiteman once he finishes the meet and greet with his fan.

Damian: Why wait? He's completely distracted. This be the optimal time to take Kiteman down.

Bruce: I am not ruining this moment for him.

Damian: Why?

Bruce: The man's main weapon is a tribute to his dead son that Riddler killed. A kite. The last person to be as excited for his kites was said, son.

Damian: .....We shall wait.

Tim on com: Why wait when we have a perfect-

Damian: YOU LEAVE THAT MAN ALONE DRAKE LET HIM ENJOY THIS.

Duke: Are we just going to move on from the guy who said he broke the Riddler's knee caps?

Bruce: The question mark bitch had it coming.