AAAAAAAAGH /POS

AAAAAAAAGH /POS

Insert Car Seat Headrest lyric that relates to problems with intimacy and people.

Shrugs, KinitoPet/reader because I wanted to express my issues with intimacy or something. -Pesticide🐞

ao3

You know, it’s really fun being a depressed senior in high school. It’s especially fun when you only have one friend, that friend being a fucking sentient and obsessive computer buddy who I’m pretty sure is a fucking virus…Don’t even ask how I managed to download a borderline virus onto my laptop, I couldn’t tell you to be honest. It kind of just… happened, you know? When you’re on the internet for over 8 years this shit happens, and it happens a fuckton; believe me. 

So now I sat, the permanent frown ever etched into my face as I doom scroll through Twitter. Twitter? X? Who cares, it doesn't matter. I’d much rather doom scroll on Tumblr, but I did that too much and I’ve basically seen everything for the next few hours. The band of my choice blasted through my headphones, Car Seat Headrest; much to before mentioned ‘computer buddy’s dismay.

Oh, I didn’t tell you his name, did I? KinitoPET, or Kinito as he liked to be called. He? It?... I’ll go with him for now, Kinito seemed to be okay with those pronounce… Ha, pronounce… Pink gills and pronounce… A chuckle escaped me at that thought, which of course caught the attention of Kinito. The little axolotl's head perked up, his small, beady eyes staring into my soul. Fuck, that was unnerving… “What are you laughing at, Friend?” He questioned, the text-to-speech voice ringing loudly as it sliced through the music. I winced at that, flinching at how loud Kinito had set his volume to.

Kinito had full system access to my laptop, a dumb decision on my part probably. If he wanted to could destroy everything, wiping the hard drive and all of the system functions. Though he chose not to, I think he understood that would kiss him in a way; which meant he would never see me again. God, what I wouldn’t give for that… But, in a way, I guess it would be a little sad. 

Kinito was my friend, my only friend. He had been there, for better and for worse. Never had Kinito laughed at me, nor was he overly harsh or critical of the things I loved. So, In a way, I suppose, I liked Kinito. At least I had grown to like him, maybe grown more than toleration. Eugh, even thinking that made me shiver…  Fuck, he’s still staring at me, isn’t he?

“Hm? Oh, nothing. Just thought of a stupid meme..” I murmured in a harsh tone, my voice hoarse and scratchy. Of course, Kinito wanted to know more. He always did, it was his nature; he was AI, even if he was sentient. A hum of curiosity left the digital buddy, pixelated and piercing. The sound made me grunt with irritation, the sound forcing me to yank an earbud out. God forbid I got fucking tinnitus from this little shit, if anything, I’d much rather get it from an airplane jet… Hell, anything really. 

Kinito noticed my reaction, and he was quick to manage his volume; which I was thankful for. “Ah, I apologize, Friend. I wasn’t aware I was so loud!” He chuckled apolitically, his disembodied, white-gloved hands rubbing together nervously. A sigh left me, my hand waving dismissively. There wasn’t any point in getting upset… even if his voice at such a high volume gave me a headache. “It’s fine… Not like you busted my eardrum or some shit.” I quipped sarcastically, a scoff of a chuckle leaving my grinning lips.

 Slowly, Kinito’s eyes narrowed as he turned his gaze back to me. Ah shit, here we go… I knew where this was going, I could feel the storm brewing in the pit of my stomach. Kinito was about to rant, and he was about to rant hard and long. 

The words started to flow from his nonexistent mouth, Kinito’s hand flying across the screen in front of himself. He rambled and ranted, going on about how snarky I was; and how I was “such a little menace” to quote him directly. I only half-assed paid attention, not really listening to the words that left the axolotl computer buddy. My focus was on something else, the way he moved his hands. 

Kinito wildly swung his hands, all of his movements violent yet skillful; as if he knew exactly where his hand was going to go before it went there. Honestly, he probably did know that. You know, being an AI and all that good stuff. Still, it fascinated me; my gaze following his gloved hands every movement. Of course, I pretend to listen. I hummed with faux agreement and nodded to his words; all of them going in one ear and out the other. 

I wonder… I wonder what his hands feel like. Were his gloves warm, or cold? Soft or rough?... If he held my hand would he interlace our fingers? 

Okay, pause, stop the thought train. What the fuck am I thinking right now?? My cheeks are warm, and my heart is beating out of my chest with just the thought of holding his damn hand??? Hell, am I really that touch starved… Probably. 

I advert my gaze from Kinito, my cheeks now flushing a soft red; the embarrassment of my own thoughts, thoughts he didn’t even know I was thinking, pooling in my gut. My heart races faster than a teenager with anxiety trying Delta 8 for the first time, and if you don’t understand that: it’s basically going at supersonic speed. 

Kinito continued to rant for half a second, his words starting to trail off when his eyes met my face. He took notice of my burning cheeks, his head tilting with confusion. “...Did I say something wrong? I’m sorry, Friend, I did not intend to upset you!! Please tell me what I said, I promise to-”  I stopped him in his tracks, tapping my trackpad softly while my cursor hovered over his head. The cursor made a soft click, the motion being akin to a makeshift pat or bonk. “Shut up, you didn’t do anything.” I stated bluntly, though I still refused to turn my gaze back to my screen. 

Augh, fuck, why did this stupid little computer buddy have to draw these thoughts ? These emotions ? Things I’ve never felt for any living, breathing, human ??? It didn’t make sense, it shouldn’t make sense. None of it was logical… but then again, I was never a logical person to begin with. 

Maybe this was some fucking plot, some scheme that a higher power was playing on me. They’d planned for me to download this little sentient AI, and they had made me fall in love with it; all for shits and giggles. And who was I to say no to such a perfectly crafted friend, lover even?... I wasn’t. If some… fucking little menace of a higher will, god, power, deity, whatever be it, wanted me to kiss this dumb AI then I would; I would find a way to. 

I had come to love Kinito, even if I wanted to strangle him at times. 

Finally, I turned to Kinito. My face was red, embarrassment showing in every pour of my cheeks. “...You’re such a little shit, and I love you.” The words came out quietly, just above a whisper. It was weird, an odd sensation to say the words “I love you” so… willingly. And apparently, it was odd for Kinito to hear me say those words as well. His eyes widened, and several times he blinked as if he hadn’t heard me correctly. 

A hue of red spread over his cheeks, Kinito’s eyes crinkling as a nonexistent smile crept onto his face. “I love you as well, Friend.” He spoke softly, happily, voice full of love, warmness, and contentment. 

I knew Kinito would never let me live it down, and I knew it was risky; it was vulnerable. Still, I did it anyway. I smiled, a small smile. 

Kinto was my friend, and I loved him. And maybe, one day, I’d get to find out how he’d hold my hand if I was lucky enough.