“Breed Me In My Sleep” “Touch Me In My Sleep” Cute But I’m A Very Light Sleeper

I think people need to stop asking trans people "what gender feels like," because that framing was devised by cisgender psychiatrists and doctors who to try to explain (and maybe even pathologize, invalidate, or trivialize) being transgender. It's not our phrasing.

Because I never "felt" like any specific gender. For me, there is not feeling that is "woman." Or "man" or none of the above either. We have our internal sense of self, but you can't boil it down to a general "woman" feeling.

I have a better way:

Imagine you are one day transported into a someone you don't know's body. They don't even have to be a different gender than you, just anyone you don't know.

Imagine how it feels to open your mouth and someone else's voice comes out. Imagine how it feels to look in the mirror and see a stranger staring back at you. Imagine feeling like the body you're in doesn't match how you know internally it should be, and I don't just mean sexual anatomy. I mean height and limb proportions among other things, too. Imagine feeling like the very blood in your veins feels wrong. Would you want to find a way to correct this mistake in any way you could? What if you were stuck and the only options given to you are expensive medicine and surgery and require years of psychiatric care just to be able to start to access it?

Now, imagine being told you're wrong or crazy for trying to tell the world what's going on with you. Imagine being pathologized and given therapy to convince you that you aren't actually you but this stranger. Imagine that state governments across the country and globe are specifically legislating your rights away because your existence disgusts them. Imagine living in fear of even walking down the street, even in your own neighborhood, because people have been trained to want to hurt you for living as you know you are. Imagine entire social movements and Internet shows dedicated to mocking and harassing you and people like you.

Now, think about how you would feel. Would you feel good? Would you be brave enough to face the world every day while doing this? I doubt it.

But, y'know, that's just my experience. The beauty of being trans, and human experience in general, is that it's all different. That's why I scoff at the term "trans ideology" because none of us can even agree on what being trans is! Ask ten trans people on what being trans is like and you'll get 10 different answers. You think we're that cohesive and organized? A bit of "tell me you've never met a trans person without telling me you've never met a trans person," y'know? What binds us, really, is the people that hate us more than anything else.

Anyway, I think it's time trans people reclaim our own narrative. It's way past time.

part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | (cw: age gap 25/41, nsfw, pure smutty smut, mdni)

König carries me the whole way to my apartment, his hands gripping my ass and thigh, subconsciously kneading them, while my head snuggles in the crook of his neck, my mouth coasting over the soft skin. The fingers of my right hand are tangled in his hair, resting at the back of his head scratching ever so slightly, while the other one strokes down his stomach, the keys in it jingling with every movement.

His fingertips dig deeper into the swell of my booty. "Stop it, you're killing my restraint.", he grunts and I just giggle.

We're already at my apartment door and honestly, I'm just glad we didn't run into any neighbors. He takes the keys from my hands and unlocks it, carrying me inside. Unfortunately, he does not yet know about my cat.

"Uah, what the fuck is this?!", he curses, as the kitty rubs against his legs, so he almost stumbles over her. I can't hold back a laugh while he carefully tries to not step on the cat's tail.

I slide out of his hold onto the floor and pick Mimi up. The small little black furball purrs against my face, butting heads with me as she tries to get her daily dose of cuddles in.

"You wanna hold her for a bit?", I ask, not waiting for an answer, just shoving her against his chest and his big hands grab the tiny kitty. I giggle to myself, taking off my shoes and heading to the kitchenette to get something to drink because I'm parched from the concert. And very sweaty and sticky from all the dancing and moshing.

When I return, I see that the little minx already has him wrapped around her little paw. He doesn't even look at me, totally enraptured by the little creature. She's currently snuggling into the crook of his neck, purring against the tall man.

Cockblocked – or rather pussyblocked – by my own cat. But I know how to change that.

"So, uh, you wanna take a shower?", I ask, with a wry grin. I've never seen anybody set down a cat quicker, König bending down quite a bit, not to just drop her onto the floor. When he straightens back up, his gaze is on me, burning into me, stripping me down with his eyes.

"I would like that.", he says, his voice a bit deeper than it was before.

My mouth falls open a bit at his lustful stare because it just got harder to breathe, and I just head to the bathroom to my right.

I unceremoniously pull my shirt over my head and drop my skirt to the floor before I pull off my bra and tights. I don't think about it too much, but at the same time I feel how he's staring at me, his gaze burning into me. Turning around I catch him, the mouth agape. The way his eyes skim over my body like a light touch, dwelling longer on certain spots. Dropping from my collarbone to my tits, further down to my stomach and my still clothed booty. He stalks closer and I take a little step back, so I still can look up at him without straining my neck.

He gets rid of his t-shirt as well, and my mouth goes dry. The tattoos from his arms span over his strong shoulders, huge pecs, one side adorned with a little ring in his nipple, the broad chest... he is obviously in very good shape which isn't surprising given his occupation.

But he also has a little pudge sitting at his waist and a bit of tummy. My god.

I have to will my fingers to stay at my side because all I wanna do is touch everything, run my hands over his torso, squeeze, cuddle – lick.

His long hair falls down over his shoulders, some strands coming down over his face, softly flowing over the muscles, the pecs, when he moves.

Dark hair peppers his chest and my eyes follow the happy trail down into his jeans, so clearly tented by his erection. A slight smirk plays on his lips while he pulls the zipper down and takes off his pants, not wearing anything underneath, so his dick springs free, hanging heavy in front of him, as the denim falls onto the floor. A sparkle of jewelry catches my eye, and I realize he has a piercing on his tip. I feel red hot blush color my cheeks while I take off my panties, like this is all just normal and chill. And I’m totally normal and chill.

And I try not to fucking stare. I mean I already felt it pressing against me. And I know how big he is. So, of course, his dick is huge as well. But my god, I don't think he will fit.

Before I can spend any more of my thoughts on his size, I hop into the shower that's usually very spacious. For me at least. When König joins, it gets crowded. But I don't care.

Our bodies press together, when I reach for the knob, turning on the shower, and the warm spray rains down on us. His arms wrap around my waist, and I can feel his dick pressing into my belly, softly rutting into the soft pillow, doing so almost subconsciously, while he leans down to kiss me.

"Damn, I planned on eating you out in here.", he whispers against my lips. "But I don't think I can even kneel down."

"I'm sorry, the other shower guests were never as big as you are.", I joke lightly, ignoring how him talking about eating me out made me feel, but when I see the expression on his face, I regret bringing up former partners. I mean, I don't want to think about his former partners right now either. But it's true nonetheless, in every kind of sense.

"Hm, seems like I need to kidnap you into my shower sometime...", he mutters, his hands roaming my body, fingers digging into me.

I can't suppress the little shiver rolling down my spine. He feels it and acknowledges it with a little "We don't need to do anything, okay?", still making sure I am okay with all of this.

I get on my tiptoes, holding onto his shoulders, pressing my body up against his. "But I want to.", I whisper before my lips crash into his.

Our touches get heated, care thrown out the window, desperate kisses and tangled limbs. He spins me around, his hands grabbing me, stroking down my sides, until they land on my hips, tilting them back ever so slightly. He grinds against me and I answer his testing advances, moving with him.

My palms are placed flush against the shower tiles, his front against my back. His lap presses against the swell of my ass, the tip of his dick slipping in between my thighs. I press them together around him as he pulls back a bit, then snaps his hips forward again.

His hands cover mine as he starts to slowly fuck my thighs, his dick stroking over my puffy folds, the hard length pressing against my clit, the head nudging against it with every pass.

Fuck. If that's just a little taste of how he plans to fuck me...

"Oh, you're so fucking tiny, Kleine, you're gonna be so fucking tight around me.", he growls against my temple, the words dousing me in hot arousal.

"I don't know if you're gonna fit.", I whisper, moving my ass back into him again, panting.

He hums, a light confident sound. "I'm gonna make it fit, don't worry." His lips find the sensitive spot on my neck while his hips roll against me, and I can feel the wetness between my legs that has nothing to do with the water flowing over us.

I'm getting all worked up, and he is as well, but he stops, pulling back, his harsh breath hitting the shell of my ear. "Come on, need to get you into bed.”, he says with a hint of mischief in his voice that makes me giggle.

I wait for him to leave the shower and step out, getting two fresh towels for us.

We're drying ourselves off quickly, our horniness making us hurry along, and when our gazes meet, we can't help but laugh. I hang up my towel and his as well, hurrying out the bathroom in the direction of the bedroom. He follows me with long strides, actually catching up to me and giving my booty a little spank. I squeal and jump onto the bed, crawling onto the soft sheets, turning around to look at him. He sits down next to me, the mattress dipping down under his weight, and before he can say anything, I pipe up: "I'm not on the pill, and I uh- didn't know your size.", feeling a little shy all of a sudden.

"Don't worry." he pulls me into him for a moment and puts a little kiss to the top of my head, like he actually wants to kiss the worries away, before he goes to grab his wallet from his jeans, pulling a condom out of it. "I brought some, even if I felt presumptuous at the time of putting them in there." A little grin plays round the corners of his mouth.

He puts the foil square right next to the bottle of lube I moved from inside the drawer of the bedside table to the top of it. Setting it aside for later.

König smirks at me, the little grin getting wider, as I look up at him, kind of waiting what he’s gonna do. He grips my ankle, pulling me to the edge of the mattress again, which makes me yelp and giggle, relaxing into the sheets after he positioned me how he wants me.

He kneels down in front of the bed, still being at eyelevel with me, and kisses me. His hands grab my waist, his fingers trailing down, kneading the flesh of my hips, digging into the swell of my ass. I hold onto him, feeling his strong shoulders and the soft hair underneath my fingertips, stroking gently, while I answer his kiss. My tongue against his, tasting me.

His mouth wanders from mine over my cheek, down to my neck. Hot, open-mouthed kisses, that make me pant. Moving onto the collarbone, kissing and sucking, until I'm sure he left a hickey. Kissing further down, which has me arching me back, so my tits pop out and his tongue licks over my nipple, a loud moan leaves my throat, spurring him on, his mouth closing around the pebbled tip.

The licking and soft sucking almost distracts me from his fingers dropping down between my legs. The fingertips stroke over my pussy, wet and needy, and we groan in unison as he dips into me for the first time. I clench around his finger, my hips moving of their own volition, searching for more friction, fucking myself onto his hand. Desperate for more.

He softly bites my nipple, the stinging sensation pulling another hoarse moan from my lips, while he adds another finger. My hands tangle in his hair, pulling him into me, while he caresses the other boob, his digits moving inside me. He moves down, kissing down, and I slowly fall back onto the bed. Kisses on my tummy, my hips, the soft mound over my pussy. He pulls his fingers out of me and pushes my legs back, still hovering over me. His gaze wanders from my sex to my face, our eyes meeting, and I almost feel like he’s waiting. I’m desperate, needy, his touches left me panting, and a little “please” from me is all it takes.

My knees are up against my chest, as he dives into my pussy, licking and sucking, hungrily lapping up the wetness. An “Oh fuck” drops from my lips, little mewls and moans following, and I squirm against his face.

I feel the light scratches from his stubble, the sensation of it against my sensitive skin sending shivers over my body, my hips violently jerking against his mouth. He licks up and down, nibbling, sucking, his hand spreading me for him, and I don’t think I’ve had anybody ever shamelessly eat me out like that. I can’t help it, but my fingers tangle in his hair again, the soft locks that I felt underneath my fingertips when I was sitting on his shoulders at the concert, now that his head is between my legs again for so vastly different reasons.

He doesn’t complain, humming ever so slightly, a satisfied little noise, when I pull at his roots, wanting more, wanting him even closer.

His hand wanders up my body until it reaches my chin, clasping around my neck. The breath halts in my throat, as his fingers squeeze lightly and his tongue dips into me. His thumb moves over my lips, pushing between my teeth. I lick and suck instinctively, like I would another part of him. He growls lightly at how I’m sucking his digit off, a sound that vibrates against my wetness, and I almost cum.

His mouth latches onto my clit, sucking hard, and with a loud moan my orgasm crashes over me. His fingers push into me again, the added sensation prolonging the waves of arousal washing over me. My thighs push together in an effort to make his teasing touches stop, but he doesn’t until it subsides, and I slump down.

He gets up from the floor and climbs onto the bed, positioning me in front of him, my legs spread over his thighs. I feel exposed, lying before him like that, my pussy on full display. He reaches for the condom and the lube, opening the foil packet with his teeth and rolling the rubber down on his length, the latex stretching to his size easily. I watch him, his dick resting against my stomach as he puts some lube on his hand. It still seems very big, to be honest. He sees the little skeptic expression on my face, and a cocky smirk stalks on his lips, while he spreads the lube on the condom and positions himself at my entrance.

“If it hurts, just tell me, okay?”, he says, the deep voice soft. “I don’t want you to hurt.”

I nod. “Yes.”, anticipating the feeling that floods me as soon as his dick presses into me.

Pushing into me, stretching me, while his thumb softly rubs my clit.

Rutting back and forth slowly, until the combined wetness from the lube and my pussy is coating his whole length.

He buries himself deep inside me, until he bottoms me out. I clench around his length, which makes his eyes roll back, a low grunt falling from his lips. A little choked sound escapes me. Feeling so full, I think I might burst.

Well, he said, he would make it fit.

He bends forward, fitting right between my thighs, placing a little kiss on my lips. He pulls back a bit, his gaze intently on my face, as he starts to fuck me, low and slow.

His long hair falls down like a cascade, the tips grazing over my neck and boobs, as he fucks me slowly, still letting me adjust to his length. My back arches and my lids get heavy from the intense pleasure of the deep pushes into me.

"Look at me, look at me." He grabs my cheeks with his hand. I will my eyes to stay open, focused on his face, our gazes interlocked, when he moves his hips oh so sweetly. It’s different from how I imagined it would be.

I can feel how he’s holding back. And I can see the hunger in his eyes as he straightens back up, his gaze moving down my body, taking in my titties that bounce slightly and the spot where we are connected.

But I also can feel his restraint slipping with every push of his dick into my wetness.

“Can I fuck you harder? Please.”, he begs, his voice dropping, his hands grabbing me again.

I reach out until my fingertips touch his hips, stroking over the soft skin. "Do it. I already told you, I don't break that easily.", I answer, whispering. And that’s all the encouragement he needs.

He starts to fuck me – really fuck me – rolling his hips into my lap. He pulls my legs back and up, so they rest against his shoulders. And who would have known? They really are very good legrests. I mean, my legs aren’t really resting on them, my feet dangling up over them, the size difference really obvious right now. But I don’t have any time to dwell on that thought, with the way he’s fucking me right now.

It’s even more intense like that, with my legs up in the air like that, and I can really feel his whole length inside me, reaching so fucking deep. Incoherent curses and a lot of “yes” is all I’m able to articulate.

His dick pistoning in and out of me, his large hands gripping my thighs, pulling me into him at his rhythm. The swell of my ass colliding with his thighs, the sound of skin slapping against skin, our intermingled moans and sighs.

This is much more how I thought it would be. Him throwing me around like he wants to, me getting my brains fucked out, taking everything he’s giving me.

My back arches of his own volition, my hands trying to hold onto to something, tangling in the sheets beneath me. He pushes into me hard and deep, and my thighs start to shake.

"Yes, fuck, come for me, Liebes.", he grunts, the words almost an order. One I cannot refuse. I cum on his dick, and he just keeps on fucking me, dragging it out, stroking over my clit with his thumb.

He doesn't even let my orgasm fully pass before he drops my legs and flips me onto my front. Pulling up my hips a bit, he fucks into me. My hands fist the sheets, holding onto them, not to get shoved forward, my face is pressed into the pillow, my moans getting swallowed up by it.

The sounds of his grunts and my moans intermingle, filling my little bedroom, the whole bed shaking, softly thudding against the wall.

The different angle is getting me worked up in no time, his lap colliding with my ass over and over again, skin slapping against skin. His fingers are digging into the supple flesh of my cheeks, holding onto them.

“You feel so good, fuck.”, he praises me, accompanied by a delicious little groan, and I can feel the words as a tingle up my spine.

His other hand is splayed out on my back, pressing me into the mattress, while he fucks me deep and fast, and I’m just so fucking full. I can feel the wetness drip out of me with every push inside, leaving a mess on his lap.

I turn my head to the side, trying to look at him, while he does me like this. I can see his long dark hair whipping back and forth, with every snap of his hips. I reach my hand back, looking to connect, and he takes it, interlocking his fingers with mine, while his dick is making me lose my mind again. The third orgasm hits me unexpectedly, and I clench around him, squeezing him tightly, his name as a soft sigh on my lips. “König-“

That seems to do it for him as well.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck.", he curses, moaning deeply, the strokes getting sloppy, then he cums inside me, the condom as a barrier in between.

As soon as he catches himself, he pulls back out and turns me around again, snuggling himself on top of me. My breath goes raggedly, my chest expanding wide, I’m still reeling from the sex. But my god. The way he’s holding me now, looking at me. The softness in contrast to the hard fucking before. It’s almost too much.

His eyes are searching my face, a hint of worry in them. "Are you okay?", he asks softly, panting just a tiny bit, a slight red blush on his cheeks. I nod, still finding my ability to speak properly. "Good.", he says, seeming a little relieved, and he slumps down next to me, pulling me against his chest. We stay like that for a few moments, skin against skin, relishing the feeling of our embrace. Post-orgasm bliss is the stuff of sappy rom-coms, not of real life hook-ups. Or so I thought.

"Back in a second.", he mumbles against my temple and gets up. He straightens up, ridiculously tall next to my bed. He heads out the bedroom and my eyes follow the sway of his hips, his delicious booty on full display, his hair swaying with every step, reminding me of how it whipped back and forth while he was fucking me.

I hear the snap of rubber, fumbling with cabinet doors and the running of water.

He comes back, having gotten rid of the condom, a glass of water and a wet cloth in his hands. He sits beside me on the mattress. "Here, drink a little bit.", he says holding the glass up to my face. I sit up a little bit more, grab it and take a few gulps. I didn't even realise how dry my throat had gotten.

He strokes down my left leg, softly spreading me and then starts to clean me up with the cloth, the warm water washing away the lube and my arousal. We just sit there in the little silence that's only filled by our quiet breaths, my little sips of water and the noises of washcloth against skin. And for a moment I fear that I might get shy now, but the serious yet calm expression on his face, while he washes me, grounds me. Because he just acts like this is the most normal thing to do. When he's done and I've drank all of the water, he puts the glass and the washcloth on the little bedside table and climbs into bed again.

He scoops me up and pulls the blanket over us, covering our naked bodies. "You don't know what you were doing to me in that little outfit of yours.", he whispers into my hair, pressing soft kisses onto it.

I sigh for a moment, my eyes turning down. "Yeah, I really like it too.", I say, the smile on my face staying on despite the little pang I feel in my chest.

He scoots down, coming face to face with me. "Hm, what's going on?", he asks me, whispering softly.

"Just thank you for taking me to the concert today, okay? I don't think I would have had the courage to go alone, even less so wearing a skirt.", I answer timidly, not able to look into his eyes.

"You are very welcome, it was my pleasure.", he says, pressing a kiss to each of my cheeks and then one to my lips. It's soft and sweet, so different from all the other kisses we shared this evening. "Thank you as well, today was my first concert in at least 15 years or so. And it was a lot of fun."

"Then you're welcome as well. Old man.", I say, the teasing making me smile at him.

He chuckles. "You're a cute little thing, you know that?"

I shoot him a look, trying look mad and intimidating, but the amused expression on his face is telling me that I’m not succeeding at that. "I'm neither cute nor little."

"Yeah, yeah, keep telling yourself that.", he teases me back, then he gets serious again. "Do you want me to go?", he asks, searching my eyes.

I shake my head, my hands roaming his body, softly stroking and squeezing. "No, you can stay the night.", I say lightly. "If you want to."

"Good, cause I do.", he answers, pulling me into him, squeezing me against his broad chest, his big arm lying on my back, the fingers softly digging into my ass. My cheek snuggles against his pec, while I play with the strands of his hair, feeling how I get calmer and sleepier in his embrace.

"Quick question.", he pipes up and the mischief in his voice lets me perk up. "Have you ever been woken up by getting eaten out?"

I give him the full sideeye while I slowly shake my head. The devilish grin turning up his mouth makes him look like he's already thinking about it and in his mind, it is fucking delicious.

"Would you like to try it out?"

The expression on my face doesn't change as I try to mask the wave of arousal washing over me from those words alone. Enticing and just a little bit kinky, and nobody ever offered to do that to me before. "Yes.", I answer, not able to suppress the little breathiness in my voice.

He chuckles, pressing another kiss to my lips, nuzzling into the crook of my neck. “Then I guess, you’ll have to go to sleep soon…”

~ More Stuff in the Masterlist ~

send help, i'm melted on the floor now 🫠

I smoked too much today and I didn't sleep a night before... and now I got a headache? No way 😱

When you're polyam and your partner is not and they don't accept this part of you... This is so damn frustrating and you feel like you're in a cage; you feel guilty for what you are and you feel like you're cheating on your partner just because you fall in love with another person... And this is what it is going on to me right now 🥲

My favourite thing about tabletop RPGs is playing characters. And I mean acting, as if you are really another person in another circumstances living another life in another world. I like role-playing, and I think tabletop RPGs is a perfect way of escapism 💟

happy early valentine's <3

Feeling cute and extra horny so I'll just leave it here 💅🏻❤️‍🔥

Holding paws 🐾🥰

💓💓💓💓💓

Tender

Julian/Reader(GN)

Notes: dacryphillia, praise, implied amab but can be read as gn

((First posted on my ao3!))

Slow and steady, Julian’s breathing becomes even and his hands not as shaking. His palms brace on your shoulders, thighs framing yours as he hovers over your lap. You grip his hips in a way you know he loves, bruising and in control. Slowly, he sinks down, taking you inside of him with a delighted groan. A pleased sigh leaves your lips as Julian sits flush against the tops of your thighs. He doesn’t wait to get used to the feeling, already shifting his hips before rising up and sinking back down. You pull him into an eager kiss and he shares his enthusiasm, nearly shoving his tongue down your throat and you can feel the vibrato of his moans. He tastes of bitter coffee, what you’d caught him chugging down before you lured him to relax.

Julian picks up his pace, long legs folded under him as he rides you, spreading nimble fingers across the expanse of your shoulders and chest. His head tilts back as you trace your lips across his jaw, to his neck, to that sensitive place where neck meets skull under his ear. You bite, teasing the idea of sinking your teeth into him. Julian sings his praise, grinding down into your lap while exposing his long neck to you, muscles pulled taut and Adam’s apple bobbing.

“Da-haah-ling, you needn’t be so gentle.”

Your tongue lathes across his neck, sucking at pulse points, his fluttering pulse rhythmic against your lips. “You’ve had a tough day, let me treat you, won’t you?”

It’s true the doctor had an eventful time at his clinic, a cold chill spreading and with that, colds of varying degrees. You can feel the slight stubble on his face, a signal he truly has been preoccupied. “Such a hard worker… you deserve something gentle, don’t you?” The question is punctuated with a roll of your hips, one that has Julian gasping like a fish out of water. His fingers curl into your back, clutching you close as he meets your languid thrusts.

“Y-you’re—ah! Too..too kind.” Your lover pants in your ear, pressing breathless kisses to the line of your jaw. “You’ve set the bar too low, handsome.” You coo, planting your hands from his hips to his ass, lightly scratching lilywhite skin with red traces of nails left in its wake. Julian whimpers, a needy noise that makes you feel light and sends a plummet of heat through your body.

“I love you, my smart, brave man,” you whisper your adoration into his ear, smooth like honey and the sweetness of it addictive. You widen your legs under him, bracing your feet and thrusting your hips up to meet Julian’s in a slap of flesh. His mouth drops open, garbled nonsense spilling from slack lips and so you repeat, gripping his hips to tug him down quicker.

“So, so good for me. How’d I get so..huff..lucky?” Your skin feels hot and sweaty, tingling with perspiration. “So beautiful, too. Don’t you know that?” You lean your head back against the propped pillows, digging your nails into Julian’s bony hips. His eyes screw shut and his head tosses back as he grinds down, his ass flush against your pelvis. “Say it back, baby.”

The redhead swallows thickly, gathering his voice that only warbles with each down slide of his hips. “B-beautiful…I’m—uhn.” He whimpers, a gorgeously obscene sound accompanied by the roll of his eyes. You hit him right where he needs it, fire erupting through his veins—a blooming, aching thrum he can’t get enough of. “There! Oh, please!” A sharp intake of breath and a harder thrust has Julian keening, his weeping length slapping against his taut stomach with each bounce. You meet his frantic, desperate thrusts, lifting him with each meeting, his hair bouncing and voice hiccuping from the force.

“You’re such a good man, Ilya. Always, ah, know how t-to make me happy.” You can help the sweet words that flow from your tongue, smooth contrast from the manhandling Julian prefers. He kneels over you, clammy forehead sticking to your shoulder as the bounces of his hips slow to a feverish grind. Your hands smooth over his back, fingers riding along the bumps of his spine.

Suddenly, almost like being doused in cold water, you realize Julian is crying. Your skin is wet with salty tears and you guide your lovers head up to lock his eyes with yours. “Hey—hey, what’s wrong?” You have to still him from moving, making him stop rutting against you to make sure he’s ok. Julian sniffles, red faced and lips kiss swollen. “Am I really a good man?” He asks, sounding small and vulnerable. “Of course you are! You’re brave and intelligent, selfless and kind—you’re all I could ever want.” You thumb away his tears, holding his face with care and adoration.

Like a bursting dam, tears start to burn from his waterline and drip down his cheeks. Julian feels like his heart has lodged in his throat, a delicacy he was still becoming accustomed to. “M-my love, I-I don’t deserve you.” He falls against you, skin flush against skin like he wanted to melt into you. “Yes you do, you deserve everything.”

Julian, without realizing, wipes his nose on your shoulder as he buries his face in the crook of your neck. “Here—let me..” on the small nightstand lays a handkerchief, one you use to clean his dripping nose. The doctor sputters, processing the situation with burning embarrassment. “Sorry…could you, could you tell me, ah,”

You save him from his twisted tongue, setting the handkerchief aside and clearing your throat. “What I love about you? How much good I see in you?” You ponder, rubbing circles over his hip bones. With a quick nod, Julian huffs out a yes, wiping his eyes on the back of his hand.

“Why don’t you lay back, get comfortable.” Julian follows your suggestion eagerly, pulling off of you with a shiver. You move aside, helping him to get adjusted on the soft mattress and settling in between his legs. You lay his legs over your thighs, hips slotting with his as you slowly push back into him. Julian dribbles onto his stomach, thighs trembling, the most decadent little whine escaping him. “There we go, nice and full, yeah? Only the best for my perfect man.” You pull back a little, pushing back in, forming a languid pace while fanning your hand over his stomach. You can feel the tightening of his abdomen and the clenching of his thighs around your hips, his skin sweat slick.

“It’s good..it’s ahh, good.” Julian’s blubbering is barely comprehensible and you can only make out snippets of words.

“I always love how you look under me, the way you wiggle around and the noises you make. Hah, It never fails to get me hot.” You slide in deeper, a little harder and your lover's body jolts up against the sheets, his long legs wrapping around your waist in reflex. You brace your hands beside him, extra stability and aim in your movements. Your heart beats quicker with each snap of your hips, heat flooding through your body with every noise, every face Julian makes.

“By far, that pretty little head of yours doesn’t fail to impress me,” your knees press into the mattress, cushioning while you hammer into him. “So smart and clever… you’ve done things others could only dream of.”

Julian’s nose starts to burn again, scrunching it as a hot wetness rises up to his waterlines. It felt so good to hear what you’re saying, to be forced to listen to what he’s always been so insecure about—it was so cathartic to be able to cry while it happened, letting everything flood while you praise him for it.

A warm palm presses against the side of his warm cheek and his eyes crack open, blurry with tears that soon flow over the curves of his cheeks in thick streams. “How are you doing, my dear?” Such a simple question, yet it has Julian’s sobs growing louder, accompanied by his fervent nodding. He stumbles over his words, wailing his pleas and love, voice stuffy with congestion.

“Good.” Is your single answer, leaning down to capture him in a searing kiss, holding the back of his knees to pry his legs apart. He’s breathless in the kiss, gasping and parting frequently to take in gulps of air before pressing back against you. When your hand closes around his dick, his mind crumbles, any sense of restraint in him shattering and it only takes a few strokes to have him spilling. His body clenches, arms curling around your back to hold you as close as possible, sniffling into your shoulder between his choked calling of your name. Your rocking slows to a gentle glide, coaxing him through his high while the stars bursting behind his eyes start to fade.

You’re already pulling out of him, reaching over for the handkerchief from before, cleaning his face while you coo your love to him. Julian lays there, overwhelmed in everything while you wipe his eyes and nose, pressing soft kisses over his face. He sniffs, wiping his nose again, feeling the bed dip. “I’ll be back, ok?” He’s nodding without realizing, yet his hands trace along your skin until your too far for him to reach. Julian sits up slow, body feeling far too weak.

When you return with water and a washcloth, Julian is all too eager to chug it down, gasping for breath while you clean his cum splattered stomach. “You did so good, I’m so proud.” The praise comes easy, like second nature. “You didn’t..” Julian starts to feel a pang in his chest. Usually he's the one to please you, and yet he has gotten too it yet. “It’s ok, we can do that in a bit, just relax, ok?” You sidle up next to him, setting the empty glass aside and pulling the blanket over his lap.

Typically, Julian would be on his knees right about now, bending over backwards to your every whim—not that he didn’t enjoy it, he’s usually begging for it. Yet, the comfort of being coddled is too great to ignore, perhaps this time he can be a bit more selfish.

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