Simone Di Meo Batboys

choose your agent! — valorant mains of furin high first years

※ headcanons for wind breaker characters as valorant players ft. sakura haruka, nirei akihiko, suo hayato, & sugishita kyotaro

Sakura Haruka — instalock duelist

Like with gang fights, he definitely had his fair share of experiences with cocky duelists so it’s no surprise he tries to take the main damage-dealer role first in his team when he queues for a game.

Reyna would be the first one Haruka tries to pick because of the agent’s self-sustaining nature. No need to rely on teammates for entry support or heals—relating well with his independent character.

I mean, Reyna’s blind wont affect his teammates so there’s no reason for them to yell at him for bad blind timings or wasting heals so less problems!

Though not that he would admit this, but he also thinks she’s the most useful agent for helping the team out.

No one is an initiator? Haruka entries site for the team with a blind, killing anyone there who stops his team from getting in.

No one is a sentinel? Haruka stays behind to guard their backs trying to stay alive for as long as possible to protect the spike (when attacking) or site (when defending).

No one is a controller? Well, he can’t really do much with Reyna’s abilities but he does hunt down enemies when he has ultimate available to reduce the team’s worries.

Definitely sets a good example for how Reyna mains should be.

He also just hates being in a team with Reyna players who talk shit more than get kills. Who doesn’t though?

Because of this, he does understand that instalocking Reyna would get his teammates assuming he’s one of the bad players but he couldn’t care less when they express their annoyance.

Haruka can and will prove them wrong, after all.

However, in extremely rare cases where people instalock duelists before him, he either dodges (95% of the time since he just wont be able to stand the possibility of egoistical teammates) or picks Chamber.

Why? He can stay behind guarding flank or site strongly as his “dumbass teammates” charge the enemies.

With his shooting skills, he can really makes the most out of Chamber’s abilities.

Also because of chamber’s pistol and rifle ultimate, he’s also able to buy a gun for a teammate if needed. Again, definitely not something he would admit, but if pointed out, best believe he’s going to scream in voice chat about how irresponsible his team is with credits.

Akihiko Nirei — sentinel or controller strategist

We all know how proactive he is with gathering information about guys he finds cool so I am pretty sure that when he gets really into Valorant he has a notebook full of strategy plans, setups, and lineups from his research and actual game experiences.

His analytical skills and game-knowledge would definitely make him the best supporting member of the team.

Nirei would be that person that waits for everyone to pick their agent before picking his to avoid complaints and to work with the team dynamic.

If a sentinel is needed, fits well with the team and the map; he would most likely select Killjoy.

He probably mastered a lot of swarm + alarm bot setups. Though, he does like using the same setups twice or more instead of switching it up if it works against the enemy.

Probably does it because he thinks the enemy wouldn’t expect such plans to be executed again (not really true most of the time).

Good thing about Nirei is he knows what he’s capable and not capable of; he understands his weaknesses so he plays it safe to not become a burden to his teammates.

Enemies call him a rat for being so skilled with his utility usage, and he takes it as a compliment with pride.

Loves playing post-plant lineups! He practices a lot in custom before each ranked game.

However, if his team needs a controller to block out sections of a site to secure entries, he’s playing Astra.

Now, Astra is probably one of the toughest agents to master since it needs good map awareness skills and team coordination so Nirei only picks her if he knows his team can give good comms and support (like if he would be playing with the other bofurin members).

He would definitely take pride in assisting his teammates with getting kills by using concuss (nova pulse) and pulling enemies (gravity well).

May get too focused with getting his abilities set up and activated right so he would need someone to watch his back (he has been trolled and stabbed multiple times, which sometimes led to really funny games).

Truly the teammate with the braincells we all need (and aspire to be).

Suo Hayato — duelist-like sentinel or full-on duelist

He is a Sage main. 100%. No doubt.

Oh but Hayato's not your stereotypical bottom frag “team before me” Sage main.

He’s the type that would carry the whole team—some would even say he’s one of those “selfish” Sage players.

Why she’s his first pick? Simple: fun walls.

He doesn’t really like walling off the spike since it doesn't provide good entertainment he knows his walls can be used for better uses.

He loves tormenting the enemy with crazy Sage wall placements, getting kills without the enemy knowing where they’re getting shot at brings him so much joy—it’s almost sadistic.

You think a wall is misplaced so bad it lets you enter the site easier? Wrong. Hayato's behind you getting your team one by one.

Sometimes he drags it out, watching the enemy team get past him when they don’t check their corners and follows them to the site—and if they’re attacking—he does the little ninja defuse trick; defusing the spike as soon as the other team has planted it.

With his healing orbs, he is still very supportive of his team and usually heals them first instead of himself, not really minding if they still die first after getting healed. He’s pretty confident with his shooting skills so he survives well without needing additional health stats.

He plays at a distance so even on low health he is able to get frags.

His slow orbs are also mainly there for its regular use of keeping enemies at bay, but also torment his team members if they’re getting on his nerves—which doesn’t happen often.

The reviving ultimate? If his team keeps asking to be revived best believe he’s only using it to use the revived bodies as a shield or revives them in the most inconvenient moment.

When given the chance to be a duelist, he is definitely picking Jett.

You really can’t convince me otherwise cause her swift play style suits well with Hayato's character.

Those updraft knife trick shots on tiktok? He does them at least once a game to bring down the enemy’s mental.

Would probably be like a Tenz with Jett’s ultimate. He would save the other abilities if he knows he has or is getting his ultimate soon to do those crazy killer dash moves.

This is pretty much self-explanatory so I don’t know what else to say. Hayato is graceful; Jett lets him prove it in game.

Sugishita Kyotaro — hunting-focused initiator

Probably not the most active player in Bofurin but when he does play, he’s playing Fade.

Is probably only ever playing fade because it fits the most with him though.

Short explanation: their auras match well; scary and will be out to torment you.

Long explanation: if he’s playing with Umemiya, he’s probably using Fade to provide support and keep the enemy as far from him as possible.

Since he also doesn’t talk much, Fade uncovering the location of enemies helps him be useful for his team without needing much interaction. I mean, the agent literally can direct you to enemies with the ultimate ability so what else is there to point out?

I also see him as a very proactive corner-checker so Fade’s haunt and prowler is really handy for him. No corner of the site is left unchecked with Kyotaro around!

However, I can’t really picture him using seize that much for capturing enemies so I think he doesn’t really purchase it. If they’re out in the open, he likes killing them head-on so he doesn’t see much value to the said skill.

Overall, even as a one-agent player, he definitely excels with making the most out of Fade’s abilities.

a/n: depending on whether or not anyone is actually interested in this i may turn this into a series,,

Dear Darling Rapunzel

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Okay been thinking about this for a while but what about a Damsel in Distress/Repunzel AU with the batboys and rogues. It can go one of two ways.

(The Princess who fell in love with the Dragon)

You're the betrothed of one of the batboys. A darling daughter of a Wayne Enterprises bigshot or some nice rich family. And while you may be indifferent to your future husband, he is very very much devoted to you. Absolutely in love with his precious soon-to-be wife...But after the marriage, the paranoia sets in. He loves you, he swears he does. He loves you so much, in fact, that he even reveals who he is, what he does during the ungodly hours of the night. He doesn't want you to doubt, to think he'd ever cheat with another. But there are precautions he must take to keep you safe. He won't let you out of the manner, won't permit you to make content with anyone outside of his family. Heck, he absolutely forbids you from even going near the doors and windows. But one day when the manner is attacked by some Rogue wanting something or another from the Wayne family. During the attack, this particular rogue spots you, the darling princess locked away within the estate. He's almost instantly in love. Heart fluttering outside his chest. He dubs you collateral damage as he steals you away. Poor little Rapunzel being swept away by the bandit...But funny isn't it how you have (somewhat) more freedom with the deranged killer than with your own husband...

(The Princess and the White Knight)

2. For one reason or another, you catch the attention of one of Gotham's notorious rogues. An infamous killer, whose stone heart now only beats for you. They steal you, lock you away from all humanity. It's because they love you, it's because they know how cruel society can be. They'd never want the world outside to hurt you. But one day while you gaze longingly outside the window dreaming of being free again. You happen to catch the eye of one of the batboys. They become your escape, chatting with you while the evil monster is away. You start to see them as your prince charming. You white knight. Hanging off their every word dreaming of the day you can pry away their mask and gleam at their full face. Whenever your tormentor kisses you, you imagine it's your superhero, all soft lips and hope. All sweet words and caring touches. Soon they promised, soon your prince charming will come to free you…

The only pairing I can think of for this so far is, Bruce Wayne and Harvey Dent. Constantly fighting over the darling they both love with all their broken heart.

Maybe Jason and Roman too? Albit it would be so messy and chaotic😆🤣😆🤣.

⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡ we're just friends! (or are we?) w/ the wind breaker boys ✧⋆⭒˚｡

✿ featuring: hajime umemiya, jo togame, haruka sakura, hayato suo, ren kaji ✿ fluff, mutual pining, hidden feelings (aaaa), suggestive for suo, a lil angst (with comfort) for kaji ✿ a/n: i guess by now everyone can tell that i’m very into the friends to lovers trope ໒꒰ྀི´ ˘ ` ꒱ྀིა~♡ it’s def my fav!!! and these wb bois are all perfect friend material, and ofc boyfriend material too! enjoy, cuties! ✿ wc: 2.3k

— you have a closely intimate friendship to the point that everyone around you thinks you two are dating, though you know you're not lovers (yet), but are definitely more than just friends.

ʚɞ umemiya 

— sharing hello and goodbye kisses with each other.

ꕤ you and umemiya are the definition of 'affectionate', as your love languages both consist of physical touch. but maybe with each other, a little bit too much for just friends.

ꕤ the word "boundaries" did not exist to the both of you once you were within arm's reach of each other. you and umemiya give each other hello and goodbye hugs, sometimes cheek and forehead kisses, as a greeting, right? to be friendly. though he doesn't seem to do that as often to other people, or at all, even. just to you. only to you. 

ꕤ he also loves cuddling up to you whenever he takes a nap on the rooftop, inviting you to join him in picking out some veggies that you two could make a meal together with.

ꕤ while you two were cooking together, you definitely gave off a 'married couple' vibe with the way you held the ladle up for umemiya to taste, the way he had pressed his palm to your back whenever he needed to pass through, the way he fed you with his own spoon and giggling while complimenting how delicious your cooking was, the way he wrapped his arms around you and hummed while he helped you wash the dishes. anyone who saw would have immediately bid their congratulations and would think you two are newlyweds.

ꕤ hiragi took one look at the both of you appearing all lovey-dovey, and the confusion of whether you two were dating or not made his stomach scrunch up in pain. 

ꕤ umemiya calls you such adorable names when referring to you in conversation, too. his tiny bean, his ray of sunshine, his cherry blossom, it was always "his", as if you belonged to him. he was openly affectionate with you and was not afraid to show it.

ꕤ many guys also took a liking to you, but never attempted to even make a move or confess, because they were already under the assumption that you were umemiya's, seeing you two playing with each other's fingers and comparing hand sizes like you were made for each other. but how could that be, you and umemiya were just friends, weren't you?

ʚɞ suo 

— you get a special seat (on his lap).

ꕤ suo just can't seem to keep his eyes and his hands off of you. you always have to be within his vicinity, or he's not sure how he'll be able to stand it. 

ꕤ he sees you at the corner of his eye, after you have made your way back from the restroom. you and the other bofurin first years were at an izakaya, and the moment you returned, all of their eyes were glued to you and suo, as if they already knew something was going to ensue. you two have been friends for a long time, but the way you acted towards each other felt like you two have been lovers for a long time.

ꕤ suo was always up in your space, whether its pulling random pranks on you, inviting you to go out then paying for everything even though you tried to stop him (nothing can stop suo), visiting your home and leaving an endless supply of tea enough to last you a whole year - his excuse being it's there for whenever he comes over, and multiple instances which all prove that suo was no doubt a very clingy friend. not that you minded, anyway. you were used to suo and his antics.

ꕤ he had his ways of persuading you too (he is the master of negotiation, after all), and you just couldn't resist him, as you loved being around suo just as much. 

ꕤ this time, he took advantage of your short absence and made himself comfortable in your chair, and wouldn't even move an inch. "hayato, that's my seat!" you exclaimed. "hm?" suo tilts his head. "you can just sit on my lap, then." he smiles, with that damn mischievous smile you know all too well. you tried to get him to move by gently pushing him back and forth but suo seemed to not have a care in the world. 

ꕤ you can't tell whether suo is serious or joking sometimes, but nirei and sakura seems to have their doubts that you two are "just friends" as you both claim.  "are you sure the two of you aren't dating?" nirei asks you. sakura blushes and lets you know his thoughts, too. "y-yeah...! you two are unusually close!" you always reply to them with an astounding "no!" but suo just laughs and does not affirm nor deny any of their claims. 

ꕤ suo pulls you in close, making you sit on his lap regardless of your little outburst, and you weren't sure if it was hot in the izakaya, or if it's just you, but you certainly felt warmth overcome your body while it was pressed flush against his, his arms wrapped around your waist nonchalantly. "hayato!" you protested, trying to squirm your way out of his grasp, and pushing away all intrusive thoughts about his and your bottom halves being so close together, only separated by thin pieces of clothing.

ꕤ nirei, the most observant of the bunch (next to suo), points out that you even call suo by his first name, and that's another one of the reasons why you two seem like you're dating. 

ꕤ with suo, everything seems to be a mystery. but in suo's perspective, it's all clear. he loves you, whether it's as a friend or as a lover, that's for him to know and for you to find out. 

ʚɞ togame 

— leaves everyone on read except you.

ꕤ togame just doesn't understand why people need to type out what they want to say, aren't calls more personalized? he didn't understand at all, until he met you.

ꕤ you were, to put it directly, a chatterbox in all forms. you loved to talk, regardless if it's chats, calls, or in person, you just yapped your heart out to him everytime, and he lives for it. he wouldn't miss a second of you opening your mouth and giving him a taste of your innermost thoughts. he absolutely adored talking to you, because it was you, and you were special to him.

ꕤ the shishitoren guys thought it was so funny and adorable whenever togame picks up his phone so quickly because he thought it was you calling, then scowls when he realizes it isn't, and immediately silences it and shoves it back in his pocket. this caused him to set a different ringtone just for you, so he could pick up on the very first ring.

ꕤ you were also the first reply he ever sent via sms, a simple "ok" to your long message talking about how you thought it was amazing that he won the town's annual eating contest for many consecutive years in a row and that you were totally ready to challenge him next year by stuffing your face with okonomiyaki and invited togame to join you and have some with you so you could keep an eye on the competition. he found your personality totally amusing, his face immediately lighting up with a gentle smile whenever you sent him messages.

ꕤ anyone who sees how happy he is while he rereads your texts over and over would interpret that as togame being totally, irrevocably, head over heels in love with you.

ꕤ he doesn't actually reply to anyone at all ever, but he wanted to share all his firsts with you, he just couldn't help it. you were captivating, witty in your words, and very very charismatic, bombarding him with the cutest and funniest messages everyday. of course, he doesn't mind at all and is always looking forward to them.

ꕤ you two stay on calls for longer than eight hours at a time talking about how each other's day went, and yet you wonder why people always think you two are dating. normal friends don't stay up until the break of dawn chattering for hours on end, expressing all the things they like about each other, do they? at least togame knows he wouldn't do it with anyone that wasn't you, as he valued his precious sleep time dearly, but as time went on, you became more precious and more dear to him than his sleep time ever could.

ʚɞ kaji 

— play fighting like an old married couple.

ꕤ kaji is the type to never go down without a fight. needless to say, that also applies to you. but your fights with him were different, more banter adjacent, more affectionate and playful. only lasting for a few minutes.

ꕤ kaji had a huge soft spot for you, as even though you did irritate the heck out of him sometimes, somehow he still could not stay angry or annoyed at you for more than one second. he just couldn't resist the way you crossed your arms and huffed with your cute little frown. he thought you were the most adorable angry little thing he's ever seen and wanted to pinch your cheeks out of cuteness aggression and frustration, but he would never say it to your face.

ꕤ one time, you two had a heated argument because he said he could hear you just fine but wouldn't bother to take off his headphones. you argued that it was impolite and that you won't talk to him at all anymore if he does that again, and you two were at each other's throats, giving one another a piece of your mind, until kaji mutters a 'sorry', and you began to sob uncontrollably and let him hold you in his arms while he stroked your hair to comfort you because you two couldn't stand the intensity and tension of being angry at each other for long.

ꕤ you had your less serious fights too, like when you made him a bento box for lunch and you two had a picnic together with his vice captains. you fed him the food with your chopsticks, kaji teasing you by saying "it's bland." and you reasoning out that kaji was 'as salty as his tastebuds'. kaji then asked you if you wanted to have 'a taste of his fists', which ended up with kusumi and enomoto snickering in the background wishing that the both of you would just date each other already.

ꕤ whenever you two argued, your faces were so close to one another's that you were just a few centimeters shy from kissing, the tip of your noses touching. kaji had to hold himself back, a lot. like an insane amount. friends didn't want to kiss and make out with their friends, right? but kaji did. and you did too.

ꕤ his way of apologizing is by suddenly leaving a lollipop with you. he puts them in your bag, or places them in your pocket while you weren't looking. it was his little peace offering, one that you treasured and collected, accumulating dozens of them by your bedside table. kaji would gladly give up his last lollipop for you, and no one could argue otherwise.

ʚɞ sakura 

— blushing wildly whenever you two are around each other.

ꕤ you and sakura always looked like you two were having a blushing competition. the littlest touches and the most minimal contact had both of your cheeks heating up in response.

ꕤ it was like sakura's blushing was contagious. ever since you two became good friends (if you could call it that, though it seemed to be more than that at times), being around him triggered a whole bunch of embarrassing and hilarious but sweet situations.

ꕤ you once dragged sakura off to his very first cherry blossom viewing in the park, and needless to say, with both of you being a chaotic (but cute) duo, it kind of felt like you were on a wild rollercoaster ride with him. 

ꕤ you took a stolen photo of sakura while he was mesmerized by the falling pink petals. you thought he looked adorable, but sakura thought otherwise. he was a blushing mess and told you to delete them, but you said they were cute and that you were going to make it your wallpaper. 

ꕤ sakura chased after you, and tripped over a stray cherry blossom branch, leaving you two in quite a suggestive position, sakura on top of you, pinning your wrist down with his hand. your cheeks were as pink as the cherry blossoms, and tried as you might, you couldn't keep your eyes off his lips. friends don't observe their friends with wanting eyes, do they? 

ꕤ suo and nirei instantly noticed how huge of a klutz you were around sakura. they also noticed how curious sakura was about you, always (not so subtly) asking nirei how much he knew about you, or your likes and dislikes, then asked him not to tell you that he asked about you. but suo told you instead, because they were your biggest supporters and cheerleaders (and biggest shippers, of course) after all. 

ꕤ on sakura's birthday, they made you hold the cake and surprise him, which was a huge mistake, because before it could even reach him, you slipped and fell over him. luckily, sakura had good reflexes and was able to catch you before you completely toppled over. some of the smushed cake ended up on his and your face, which you tried to wipe off as you apologized, but sakura dipped his finger onto the icing that got on your cheek and licked his finger. "t-the cake's not bad, i guess..." he looked away from your smiling face as you greeted him happy birthday in a sing-song tune.

ꕤ suo, being a menace, greeted sakura happy birthday as well as gave him a 'best wishes to the happy couple' greeting card, that sakura threw back at him like it had a virus on it. 

ꕤ sakura definitely had a memorable birthday that year, but now that he thought about it, all of his memories that were memorable to him had one thing in common: you were in all of them. you, the greatest gift he could ever ask for on any and every occasion. 

© kajibunny 2024 / all rights reserved

baby birds

"And I swore I wouldn't curl up in the palm of your hand... But you let your eyes linger on me, and I suddenly can't make a fist."

🌿 kaji ren

Synopsis

You were never too discreet with your fondness for him, and he was never too good at letting people in. And for awhile, it didn’t matter. You settled in the space of friendship, content with your place in his life. But why was he not satisfied?

character: kaji ren x gn!reader word count: 1,897 tags: reader insert, raw confessions, slightly aged up, friends to lovers (if you squint), emotionally constipated kaji ren so i make him face himself

warnings: none

At the instant you tore him a piece of your heart—right away, he knew. It would never be the same for him.

It was then back in sophomore year, when the streets of Makochi haphazardly brought an unsuspecting you, suddenly caught in the crossfire, and Kaji Ren had to throw a punch or two with the tingling from his knuckles exploding into his system. It was when you pushed your soaked suede boots into a warm Café Pothos, hair sticking to your flushed face from having braved the downpour just to meet him, that a dreadful feeling crept behind the cages of his rib, prickling ever so quietly at his chest. It was when you started taking a bit more space in his routine, during patrol when the sun dipped on the horizon, and you would check up on him, that his clammy palms felt too apparent from the uncertainty of your presence.

It was when he could sense your gaze dawdle a little bit on the frames of his thoughts, when your words would thin out into an ellipsis in the discourse, that he suspected a secret dancing on your tongue—one that would ruin him if you did so much as whisper it. With his hands behind him, fingers crossed, he hoped for you not to say it. Don’t. He would not know what to do with himself.

But it was one evening, in June, with the town half-asleep and the hums of the night harmonising with Ren’s quickening heartbeat that you let out the string of words he wished you would never make known. Somewhere between your ‘I like you’ and ‘I don’t think I ever tried to hide it’ hung the silence of his chest—and in it a dropping sensation, like his heart plunged to his gut.

It was painfully obvious, but perhaps the unspoken was a thread Ren held onto dear life for, afraid of the screaming pit right below him if the cord thinned out from the truth. He hoped desperately for you not to say it, for you not to snap his only source of sanity. He knew right away, that if you looked him in the eye and told him he meant something to you, it was trouble he could not solve with his fists.

He could not think straight, and yet, he went with what he thought was best to save himself… from what exactly? He had no sliver of an idea. All he knew was in that moment, you existed, to his doom, and if he did not right his feet now, he could end up with a gash he would only want you to mend. A thought so terrifying to Kaji Ren, he could sense his throat dry up.

“I’m sorry,” was the only thing he managed to utter. Timid, hoarse—as if he himself strained to say it. A part of him thought he needed to hear it more than you did.

You gave him a smile so surely infallible. “I’m okay, Ren. I only wanted it out for the sake of letting you know,” reassuring him none of it would change the way you have been to each other.

But you could not have been more wrong. To Kaji Ren, it changed everything forever.

It started with a slow dance. Between the fear of being known and the ache of wanting to be, tearing the floor open, his footsteps found their way to a new safe distance from you—within reach, but never quite touching... afraid that if you met his skin, he’d melt away to your mercy. He was never the same proximity as yesterday though, and every day, he inched just a little closer. He was well aware of the shortening gap despite his ‘I’m sorry’ from that night in June, but between the fear of being known and the ache of wanting to be, his body trembled at the warmth yours left in its wake.

He started to reach for your hand in every moment you went for the door, but his would freeze and hang suspended in the air, twitching at the realisation that he had given that fortune up when he said he was sorry. His eyes started to drift faintly to the pads of your fingers, staring too much as if willing it to trace his scars carefully. He started to wonder what it would be like to let you touch him in more ways than one, past skin and bones—and he started to ache in his chest, from a want so clever and bold, he wanted to take his apology back.

You acted the same as you had always, just as you said. And it messed with his head when he appeared to be the only one affected.

It was after one of Furin’s clashes with another bandit territory that he was limp on your couch, lips busted with a gaping cut and bruises on the left of his face. He wore a glare of profound irritation, you surmised his altercation with the other group put him in too much of a bad mood. But if the deep furrowing of his brows and the crease on his forehead said anything about his mood, in truth, it was frustration from the intimacy of your warm body adjacent to his cold skin. From the mindful brush of your knuckles on his cheek in patching him up, to the awful confusion of having no idea how to deal with his feelings. Too close, he could feel his pulse drumming from his ears.

You cocked a brow, lightly placing a finger or two on his forehead, softly ironing out the wrinkles from the face he was making under the bangs.

“Relax,” you said with a quiet laugh, in a probably too casual tone for Ren’s own good that he simply abandoned his better judgment.

“How are you so unaffected?”

You paused, fingers falling dead on his temple as he looked up at you from his seat. His dark grey eyes pierced their gaze into yours, never minding the mingling breaths from the closeness, and they seemed to be harbouring a raging storm straining to tame itself. Something you cannot understand.

The question came out of nowhere, and he downed into your stare so firmly, as if bracing for the answer. You blinked. “You’re here now, aren’t you? You could’ve gotten out worse, but you—”

“That’s not what I—” A sigh fell off his half bleeding lips, head dropping back into the headrest as the lump on his throat bobbed up and down from swallowed contention. His stare was glued to the ceiling, and you stepped back, fingers leaving a burn on his forehead, feeling some tension you were not made aware of as you wait for him to add on his thought.

There was a brief silence before he continued, “You were never too discreet with how you looked at me. It was obvious—from the start. I always knew.”

Stillness misted around the room once more, smoking into the cracks of the walls and the space between you and him. Save for the shuffling from his tearing away off the cushion, you could hear a pin drop. Ren bent over to his legs, elbows resting on the tip of his knees as he rubbed on his eyelids with weary circles.

“But I had hoped you wouldn’t say it,” he mumbled in a hushed tone, you almost didn’t catch it. You could not muster up any response, and he seemed as though he had more to tell you, so you let him ruminate in his mind, catching wandering thoughts that swayed capriciously. A quiet sigh left his mouth again. “I desperately hoped you wouldn’t say it out loud... else, I’d have to face it, too.”

“You finally knew what I meant to you...” He trailed off, the last note on his musing drifting into the air, breathless at the height of his emotions. “But I was still stuck on wondering why I was always so out of breath around you.”

Feelings hitched at his throat, and he pushed them down with a gulp. His fingers drummed a slow beat on jeans-cladded thigh, and he seemed to be debating what he would say next. You allowed him time, watching the way his own brows furrowed and uncrossed themselves as he was pondering.

“I was never good at feelings. I was scared.”

It was no secret. Kaji Ren was a man of few words, the everyday lollipop in his mouth stuck for the purpose of barring himself from saying too much past what he would be willing to admit. But the high walls he perched and built through his own calloused hands need not be said—it was a towering piece of evidence: he wasn’t one to let people in.

And it was fine. You respected his space.

“I feared that if I opened myself to it—to you just a little more than I usually do, I’d be giving you the power to hurt me.”

You could feel your own breath shortening, lungs tightening, hardly catching up to the racing of your heartbeat.

“And I swore I wouldn’t curl up in the palm of your hand...” The unexpected softness in his voice did not go by unnoticed. His tone small, only just under the breath, struggling to come alive at his utterance, as if he had sledgehammered his brick walls down to let you see him inside as weak as a whisper. “But you let your eyes linger on me, and I suddenly can’t make a fist.”

You opened your mouth to say something—something to give a pause to the rawness spilling all over the place. Something to slow this all down when you could narrowly suck an air in. But he had more to say, and you could sense the unplanned urgency in his speech.

“I can’t fight back. I think I’ll unravel. I think that I don’t mind being seen, being touched, if it’s you—” A tightening in his throat nearly choked his words down, and he corked up the stumbling by the skin of his teeth. “I think I’m okay if I surrender myself to you—and that scares me.”

The hindmost sentence came out in a hiss, as if it scalded his tongue to admit.

“But I’m more terrified of letting that chance pass up, never knowing how it feels to be held by you, when it’s staring me at the face.”

A pause.

A short silence, allowing his feelings to sink into your own, colliding right in the pits of your chest where your heart rests undeterred. You did not know what to do with yourself.

“So, if I’m not too late... I would really...” He spoke with a sigh, running his hand through his hair, the sweating of his hands too familiar. “I’d really love to hang out with you. I’d love to figure this out with you.”

It was after waging a battle with clutches borne out of personal grievances that Kaji Ren waged a war with his own feelings. Through his rare moment of laying his armour down, cutting himself open for you, not once had he shot his gaze at your direction.

But this time, he finally looked you in the eye.

“I wouldn’t mind resting in the palm of your hand, if you promise I’ll be safe in it.”

i was wondering how togame, sakura and unemiya (if you can) would react to someone else flirting with the reader😭 and p.s i just wanted to say your writing is chefs kisses 🫶🏻

she’s mine (just not officially)

or, someone is flirting with you, and they can’t deal, featuring: haruka sakura, hajime umemiya, jo togame, suo hayato, kiryu mitsuki

a/n: I actually sort of combined two similar requests into one — just felt it would be easier for everyone! tbh I loved writing this. jealous boys are yummy ~ and thank you so so much for your kind words babes, they mean so much to me! <33

note: first time writing for pretty boy kiryu!! ooh nooo he’s actually kinda cute eeeeee

c/w: fem!reader, crushes, headcanon blurbs, language, jealousy, pre-relationship

the instant that sakura haruka registers that someone’s flirting with you, he’s clenching his teeth so hard that his gums start to ache.

there’s many things that crop up in his mind and threaten to spill from his lips — but he holds them back, because none of them would truly make sense in the situation.

you can’t very well tell someone to back off of your girlfriend when she’s not your girlfriend.

it irritates sakura to no end to watch the way your cheeks flush prettily at every lame-ass compliment the slooze offers you; they aren’t even that good, simply mediocre at best, and it’s very clear that all the dude wants is to get in your pants — and sakura can’t even fathom how you can’t see that.

your giggles, normally so pleasant to his ears, grate like nails on a chalkboard when they’re evoked by someone else.

sakura knows he’s more than likely overreacting, but he can’t help it. every fiber of his being is screaming at him to yank the douche away from you, to separate your bodies that are drawing way too close for comfort, to drag you off to some darkened corner and show you that he’s the one that’s worthy of your attention — that all he wants is to receive it and offer you his own.

but he can’t — and that’s the worst part of it. all these things he wants to do, all the things that sleazeball is currently doing, are the things that sakura is too scared to do.

maybe one day, he’ll pluck up the courage to put himself in that place; and if only he could see the yearning glances you send his way, then he would realize there is no need to fear rejection.

truth be told, you won’t even know hajime umemiya is jealous, because he knows how to (mostly) play it cool.

he’s long since learned to smother negative emotions with ones that are positive — and if he simply can’t smother them, he will act as if they aren’t even there, and proceed with his day like normal.

this process is no different when he feels that green snake curl up in his heart.

of course, he’s outwardly calm, but on the inside he’s seething over every interaction you have with the man. umemiya is taking note of every single pick-up line and compliment the man is throwing at you, and discreetly judging them — that one was way too cheesy, or that one delivered way too lazily, and really, when is the whole “did it hurt when you fell from heaven?” schtick going to die out?

umemiya couldn’t blame him for asking that question though; you were purely angelic, what with that soft smile and those beautiful eyes and that silky hair — he could go on and on about every angelic quality about you.

umemiya does his best to keep his nose out of these situations, but the second he hears the man suggest a date, umemiya is springing to your side with a bright smile.

he’ll apologize to the man and launch into an explanation about how you have plans already (plans of which you weren’t aware of until just now), and only once he’s secured you away from your suitor will he smile sheepishly and say, “I totally forgot to let you know about that. just figured you’d want to come along.”

umemiya never once stops to wonder why you never refute his claims of agreed-upon plans, or why you never question the fact that those same plans turn out to be very rushed and obviously cooked up on the spot; or why he only springs them on you when you’re being hit on.

when someone is flirting with you, jo togame has to find a way to occupy his hands — by fiddling with his ramune bottle, fixing the collar of his jacket, or even in some cases, by simply shoving them in his pockets.

because, nine times out of ten, when someone starts flirting with you, togame is right there beside you; and his hands begin to tremble with the urge to place themselves somewhere on your body. he wants to sate that protective and possessive growl in him by showing a subtle claim over you by a well-placed hand on your hip.

but togame doesn’t hold that claim over you; because although he’s head over heels for you, you have absolutely no idea about it — and sometimes, togame doubts you’d ever hold the same depth of emotion for him too, even if you did know.

so he sits, and he waits, and he seethes. and he yearns. and he thinks.

thinks about what it would feel like if he could do the very thing his mind was screaming at him to; wonders how good it would feel to have your body tucked against his, to be able to look at the guy and say, “I’m sorry, but she’s taken,” all the while you smile up happily at him. like he’s the only man on earth.

togame thinks about all these things — completely unaware that, in that same moment, you are too.

whenever a man enters a conversation with you, suo hayato very subtly injects himself into it and then takes complete control of it. though it’s fairly obvious the man only wanted to talk to you, suo somehow manages to get him roped into a conversation with him as well.

suo is never straight-up rude — but it’s not hard to discern if one bothers to read between the lines. his voice is as calm and unaffected as ever, even bordering on genuinely conversational at times, but there’s this hint of something else beneath it; almost like a threat of some sort.

any and all topics pertaining to you are steered in another direction, the turns always orchestrated by suo himself — sometimes you find yourself wondering why the guy is even still there, why he’s actually conversing with suo when you could clearly feel that he was interested in you.

the man knows why. he feels the silent commands that suo sends his way, feels the aura from him.

of course, you can’t really detect that — but the man flirting with you certainly can. whatever metaphorical language suo is speaking in the man understands clearly, and before you know it, his interest in you is deflected (forced) away.

and every time, you’re left wondering why you don’t feel disappointed about it; and why it just feels more natural for it to just be you and suo.

kiryu mitsuki is what you’d call a man of few expressions. it isn’t that he’s emotionless or incapable of feeling, it’s just that it’s difficult to tell what he’s feeling. his expression is always soft, eyebrows relaxed and eyes even more so, his lips always pulled into a smile as if he’s heard a joke that only he understands. if anything, you’d say kiryu looks content with life — it’s actually a quite charming look.

but when someone’s flirting with you, kiryu looks anything but. his brows are furrowed and the smile is wiped from his mouth. his eyes, a kind, gentle green, burn like twin peridot in hellfire.

kiryu can’t even hide it; can’t be bothered too. he’s shown his affection towards you in ways that are too blatant to be considered merely-friendly. he may not have ever verbally confirmed his feelings for you, but he doesn’t really have to. kiryu shows them.

of course, he’s well aware that you haven’t reciprocated these feelings; and he won’t force you to — if it happens, it’ll happen naturally.

it’s because of this philosophy that he won’t ever interject himself or disrupt the flow of your conversation with the man, but after it’s all said and done with, kiryu will be just a tad clingier towards you than before — and secretly, selfishly, hope that you’ll reciprocate his feelings soon, so that he can finally call you his and he can say all the things he wants to to guys that flirt with you.

packs a punch ! — wbk

synopsis. windbre boys reaction to you getting a high score in the boxer punching machine ! featuring. umemiya, kaji, sakura, suo, endo, takiishi content. f!reader, shy!reader, fluff, sfw, established relationship, surprised windbre boys, cute moments, some are ooc, slightly suggestive on suo's part

note. she's back lol this was in my drafts for weeks bc i got suuper busy (still am) with uni T T i'm super duper late but happy 100+ followers ! please enjoy this very short treat from me ໒꒰ྀིᵔ ᵕ ᵔ ꒱ྀི১ this is also my first time writing for endo and takiishi !! i'm so sorry in advance if they are too ooc (,,>﹏<,,) wc. 2.1k+

𓍢ִ໋  umemiya hajime

umemiya stretched his arms, ready to show off for you, his girlfriend.

"i got this!" he said confidently with a grin as he crack his knuckles.

he took a step back, his dominant arm stretching back before he punched the machine with a solid thud. the score at the top revealed a very high number — which is literally not that surprising knowing your boyfriend is the leader of furin.

"not bad, huh?" he grinned, looking back at you excitedly to check for your reaction.

"as expected of you, ume!" you complimented your boyfriend. he blushed and you smiled before stepping up to the machine with a hesitant glance toward him. "i’d like to give it a try tho…" you murmured softly.

he blinked at you in surprise. he absolutely did not expect you to step up since he have never seen you engage in this kind of games before. he's worried you might hurt your delicate hands.

but as he looks at you, who sports a determined look on your pretty face, he couldn't help but chuckle while nodding, "don't hurt yourself okay, my love?"

you nodded at his reminder before taking a deep breath, eyes narrowing at the punching bag. umemiya assumed you’d be gentle and cautious, but suddenly, without warning, you wound up and threw a fierce punch. the machine roared to life, and the score skyrocketed past his already impressive number.

umemiya’s jaw dropped.

"whoa, whoa!" he exclaimed, eyes wide. "where’d that come from?!"

you rubbed your knuckles, grinning shyly. "i’ve been working out a bit…"

umemiya laughed in disbelief, wrapping his arm around your shoulders. "guess i shouldn’t underestimate you, huh? that was incredible!" his eyes sparkled with admiration as he looked down at you, still trying to process what just happened.

you blushed, feeling a mix of embarrassment and pride. "i didn’t think it would come out that strong…"

umemiya shook his head, still grinning. "well, you definitely showed me. i thought i had this all wrapped up, but you’ve raised the bar!"

you smiled shyly, feeling your cheeks warm under his praise. "i just wanted to give it my best."

he pulled you a little closer, his expression softening as he looked into your eyes. "and you did more than that," he said, his voice full of genuine admiration. "i’m so proud of you."

you felt a rush of happiness at his words, appreciating the support and encouragement he always gives to you. "thanks, ume."

he chuckled and gave you a playful nudge. "next time, i’ll have to work even harder to keep up with you. maybe we should make this a regular thing. you know, to keep me on my toes."

𓍢ִ໋  kaji ren

kaji sucked on his lollipop, giving the machine a bored glance after his punch registered a decent score. he turned to look at you.

"don’t worry about it," he said coolly. "you don’t have to try hard. it’s just for fun."

you nodded shyly before taking a deep breath. kaji wasn’t prepared for what happened next. you stepped up to the machine with surprising intensity and delivered a powerful swing of your arm that sent the machine shaking.

the score soared, and kaji’s eyes widened in shock. even the lollipop almost slipped out of his mouth.

"you… really went for it," he said, blinking. his usual calm facade cracked as he stared at the score. "where did that come from?"

you scratch your reddened cheek before looking down. "i just thought i should give it my best…"

kaji still have a shock look on his face, his lollipop plopping down on the ground.

he turn towards you, "guess i’m the one who should be careful around you," he shook his head. he reach inside his hoodie's pocket to get another lollipop before handing it over to you with a proud smirk.

"here's a lollipop, you might wanna use it to cool down after that punch."

you chuckled softly, taking the lollipop from him with a shy smile. "thanks," you murmured as you unwrapped it. kaji watch as you popped the candy into your mouth, still trying to process what just happened.

he shoved his hands into his pockets, leaning back against the machine with a slight smirk. "you really caught me off guard," he admitted, his tone casual but with a glint of admiration in his eyes. "i didn't think you had that kind of strength in you."

you shrugged, still feeling a little shy under his gaze. "i didn't either, honestly. i guess… i just wanted to surprise you."

kaji chuckled, shaking his head. "well, you did more than surprise me." he glanced back at the machine, then back at you. "next time, i'll make sure i'm ready for whatever you throw my way."

you smiled at him, feeling a sense of pride welling up inside you. despite his usual cool and reserved demeanor, it was clear kaji was genuinely impressed, and that made your heart flutter.

kaji puts his own new lollipop into his mouth as he started walking ahead. "come on," he called back to you, his voice carrying a hint of warmth. "let's see if you can impress me again at the next game."

𓍢ִ໋  sakura haruka

sakura fumbled with the machine’s settings. when he heard the starting sound, he took a deep breath. he jumped up and down to get ready before landing a hard, strong punch on the machine. the screen on top revealed his impressive score.

turning to you, he scratched his cheek before smirking. "it’s not that hard," he says. "just give it a little tap."

you gave him a shy nod, but your eyes glinted with determination as you looked at his score on the screen. suddenly, you launched a powerful punch at the machine. it was far from the ‘little tap’ sakura expected, and the machine’s score shot up a few points higher than his.

"w-what the?!" sakura stammered, his eyes widening. he blushed at the thought of how cool and hot that was. but when he realized what you just did, he immediately turned to you. "you really hit that thing hard!"

you turned to him, embarrassed. "i-i didn’t mean to hit it that hard!"

"what do you mean you didn't mean to?!" sakura exclaimed, still staring at the score with disbelief. he couldn't wrap his head around what just happened. "you— you completely obliterated my score!"

you bit your lip, "i just thought i'd give it my all," you said quietly, avoiding eye contact with him.

he turned to the machine again, narrowing his eyes at the score as if it had personally offended him. "i swear, i'm supposed to be the tough one here…" he grumbled under his breath, trying to maintain his usual confident façade. but it was clear that your punch had completely thrown him off his own game.

after a moment, sakura turned back to you with a pout, crossing his arms. "you're not gonna tell anyone about this, ya' got that?" he asked, his voice full of playful desperation. "i have a reputation to uphold, ya'know."

you giggled softly, shaking your head. "i promise, i won't tell anyone."

"good," sakura said, visibly relaxing. he still couldn't hide his amusement, though, as he watched you shyly rub your knuckles.

"but next time, i’m gonna beat your score for sure. so don’t get too comfortable, okay?"

𓍢ִ໋ suo hayato

suo stood beside the machine, watching you with his usual calm expression. he had just delivered a smooth punch and gotten a decent score, and now it was your turn. he smiled gently at you. "take your time. just do what you can, pretty." he said encouragingly.

you stepped up, giving him a shy glance before suddenly narrowing your eyes at the punching bag. you closed your eyes and took a deep breath before opening them once again. with surprising power, you threw a fierce punch that made the machine rattle. the score climbed higher than suo's, causing him to widen his eye.

"woah," he said, his voice smooth as always, but there was a hint of surprise in his tone. "i didn’t expect you to hit it that hard."

you blushed, looking up at him. "i was trying to give my best shot."

suo chuckled, taking your hand gently. "you certainly did," he said softly, brushing his thumb over your slightly red knuckles. "i guess i should have known you had that kind of strength all along."

then suo leaned down and whispered playfully, "next time, maybe we’ll spar instead."

you looked up at him, a bit taken aback by his suggestion but intrigued. "spar?" you echoed, your eyes widening slightly.

suo straightened, a teasing smile playing on his lips. "yes, spar. you’ve shown me you’ve got some impressive power, so why not put it to the test? of course, i’ll go easy on you… maybe."

you laughed softly, feeling a mix of excitement and nervousness at the thought. "i’ll have to hold you to that."

suo’s smile widened as he continued to hold your hand, his gaze soft and reassuring. "i’m looking forward to it," he said. "but for now, how about we celebrate your impressive score? i think a treat is in order."

you nodded, feeling a warm flutter at his words. "that sounds nice."

suo gently released your hand and offered his arm to you, his usual calm demeanor blending seamlessly with a touch of charm. "shall we?" he asked, gesturing towards the exit.

𓍢ִ໋  endo yamato

endo hyped you up, bouncing on his feet. "come on, you can do it!" he cheered, completely unaware of what was about to happen. he expected a light tap from you since you are his cute and very shy girlfriend. i know he's asking too much from you but he really just wanted to see you try it.

you then unleashed a powerful punch that sent the machine shaking, which made endo freeze mid-cheer. the score skyrocketed past his, and his eyes went wide with shock.

"holy—!" he exclaimed, rushing over to the machine to check if your score was real. "did you just do that?!" he looked back at you with a huge grin. "you were incredible!"

you blushed, shyly ducking your head down as you rub your arms. "i don't think it was that incredible..."

endo laughed loudly, walking over to you and pulling you into a bear hug. "are you kidding? that was awesome!" he grinned down at you, his excitement contagious. a blush started forming on his cheeks as he continued to gush. "i had no idea you were hiding that kind of strength! you totally blew my score!"

you giggled softly, still feeling a bit bashful under his enthusiastic praise. "i didn't mean to make such a big deal out of it."

endo shook his head vigorously, still holding you close. "no way! you made it a big deal in the best way possible!" he pulled back slightly, his grin widening. "seriously, we’ve got to put this on our list of best moments. next time we come here, we’re taking on every machine in sight!"

you laughed, enjoying his infectious energy. "alright, let’s see how that goes."

endo’s eyes sparkled with mischief as he held out his hand for you. "deal! and hey, if anyone tries to challenge us, they better be ready. with you on my team, we’re unstoppable!"

𓍢ִ໋  takiishi chika

takiishi stood there with his usual bored expression, arms crossed as he watched you step up in front of the machine. "just hit it," he mumbled.

he didn’t expect much; you were always so shy and reserved. but he honestly didn't think that you would ask him to try the boxer punching machine.

but he was wrong.

with a sudden burst of energy, you punched the machine with everything you had. the score skyrocketed, leaving the two of you standing there in stunned silence. you didn't utter a single word and neither did your stoic boyfriend. after a while, you saw his arms slowly uncross as he stares at the machine.

"hmph," he muttered, still trying to process what just happened. his eyes shifted to you, and for once, there was a flicker of surprise in his otherwise calm and intense gaze. "didn’t think you had that in you."

your eyes widened at the sudden compliment. you looked down while playing with your fingers, feeling a bit self-conscious. "did i surprise you?"

takiishi's gaze softened just a fraction, though his expression remained cool. "just don't go using that strength against me."

he turned back to the machine, his usual indifference masking a hint of respect. "next time, i’ll have to bring my a-game."

you smiled, feeling a bit more at ease with takiishi’s rare acknowledgment of your effort.

reblogs are deeply appreciated !

© slerrix 2024. all rights reserved. please do not copy, modify, or repost any work as your own.

[Read from left to right]

Reposting my old fancomic of Solar tryna find a way to sleep better. Still a personal favorite and i wish i had more ideas to make shorts like these again ueueue

ART OF THE BEDCHAMBER | part 1

"Dual cultivation with you wouldn't be very useful. You might have extraordinary qi as a Vidyadhara, but it's sealed when you're in your human form."  Dan Heng stares at your fingers, deliberates as you trace the invisible paths of his meridians.  "Then," he says, "what about my dragon form?"  (Or: Dan Heng dreads the thought of outliving you and will do anything to help you achieve immortality. If that means fucking you in his dragon form, then so be it.)

6.5k words. smut, fluff, established relationship, xianxia elements. semi-explicit sexual content (only with dan heng in his human form in this chapter, sorry). reader is gender neutral, afab — they have breasts and bomb pussy game. cultural notes: "yinyue jun" is the chinese equivalent for "imbibitor lunae". please see the end notes for information on cultivation. other notes: this is set pre-1.2. 风月 was based on this fic so some things may feel very familiar! network: @trailblazernet. MDNI.

When Dan Heng—in a rather unexpected move—fell in love with you, he didn’t foresee all the agony that would come with it.

Shockingly, you aren’t the direct cause of this agony: a remarkable fact, given your routine of pestering him for as many hours as the day will allow. Dan Heng often complains about your many inconvenient behaviours (e.g., trying to cuddle with him in the archives, trying to kiss him in the archives, trying to have sex with him in the archives), but to the amazement of his fellow trailblazers, he never actually does anything about it. After getting over his initial embarrassment at such public displays of affection (this took quite some time), he’s come to tolerate it.

You often like to tease him for his leniency, all playful smiles and lilting tones: You don’t have to act so shy, Dan Heng—I know you enjoy the attention. My Heng'er likes to be spoiled, huh?

He always rolls his eyes in response. Consider it a miracle that I haven’t kicked you out yet, he’ll usually say, flicking you on the forehead. He never tells you if he means kicking you out of the archives or if he means throwing you out of the Astral Express itself, right into the vacuum of space. (Most bystanders are astonished that the latter hasn’t happened yet. So are you.)

He also doesn’t tell you how wrong it feels when he isn’t listening to the background noise of your shameless flirting. Or how wrong it feels when he doesn’t get to humour you with a kiss every once in a while.

Which brings him to the root of the problem: the wrongness that he’s feeling right now. The emptiness of the archives without your laughter, the tasteless quality of his food when you’re not there to dine with him, the restlessness of trying to sleep without you—it’s all wrong, wrong, wrong. Wrong enough for it to be a little agonizing, now that he’s nearing one hundred and twenty days of this.

You often have to leave the Express for many months in a row, so Dan Heng is no stranger to these unsettling feelings. Neither are you. If I could spend more time with you, I would, you’d said before leaving last time—and the time before that, and the time before that, and the time before that. But I can’t avoid going into seclusion. It’s part of the whole Cultivator gig, y'know—gotta go to a mountain somewhere and meditate for a few months. That’s just the price of immortality if you’re a measly human. Then you’d given him a little smile, pecked him on the lips. Most people do it for years at a time, but I wouldn’t be able to leave you alone for so long.

The first time you’d pointed this out, Dan Heng was startled by the relief that flooded him. Vidyadharas have an intuitively different sense of time compared to human beings, and two or three years should feel like nothing to him: relative to the centuries he’d lived as his previous incarnation—or the decades as his current one—it would be only a fleeting moment.

But in your absence, it would feel like an eternity.

It surprises him how much he hates the crawl of time without you. Dan Heng had never before been a needy person: solitude and isolation had always been the norm for him, in a lifetime absent of human touch—first imprisoned from birth, then exiled from the first moment he got to see the sun. Even after leaving the Alliance, he hadn’t allowed himself to become particularly close with anyone: it would have been too complicated because of the sensitive matter of his past, and he simply didn’t feel deserving of it anyway. Nor was he in need of it.

Then he met you.

Then he met you, and he became accustomed to the sound of your laughter, and then your offhanded, warm touches, and then your smile as you sat in the blue glow of the archive floor and poured baijiu into everyone’s cups. (Scalding, bitter; you had laughed as he made a face and warmed up huangjiu specifically for him next time, and it was the sweetest thing he’d ever tasted.) And then he became accustomed to talking to you—to letting you unearth things he’d buried for decades, to revealing his suffering and receiving your compassion, to the gentle feeling of your hand on his shoulder. Then the tender, nervous look in your eyes, then the silky press of your lips, then the closeness of your unclothed body, and then the breathless warble of your voice—Dan Heng, I’m close, I’m so close, please—and then the euphoria of having you arch and fall apart so beautifully in his arms.

And then the afterglow. He hadn’t only grown used to that: he’d become addicted to it. Warmer and headier than huangjiu, something that he’d have never been able to imagine while growing up in the night-dark prison of his childhood.

Even the memory of his first taste of sunlight aboard the Luofu pales in comparison to the feeling of having you in his arms. The first time he’d had the privilege of holding you, he caught himself thinking: If paradise is but a dream, then I wish to sleep forever.

And now, each time he lies awake on his futon, alone except for the glow of artificial stars, Dan Heng becomes acutely aware of the emptiness left by your missing form.

He isn’t exactly deserving of your companionship. He knows that.

But he is in need of it.

After one hundred and twenty one days of seclusion, you are ready to return to the Astral Express.

Time moves differently when you cultivate behind closed doors. The act of such intense meditation and training distorts the flow of the world for you, makes entire months feel like days. Emerging from seclusion always comes with a certain anxiety: Are your friends well? Have they forgotten you? Has the Express continued its journey across the galactic railroad, or has some terrible event happened to your home—a supernova, a meteor shower, the destructive force of a stellaron?

And, most importantly: Did anyone murder your boyfriend while you were away?

There is at least one intergalactically wanted criminal who's tried to kill Dan Heng a number of times, and an entire alliance consisting solely of his haters. Half the reason you take your cultivation so seriously is to prepare for the inevitable day that someone is going to seriously attempt to murder him in front of you (probably the aforementioned criminal). You want to be strong enough to one-hit KO Arbiter-General Jing Yuan himself, if it ever comes down to it.

Of course, the downside is that the murder attempt might happen while you're off training, but you're hoping that March 7th and Caelus can cover for you in that case.

Still—while you have nothing in confidence in Caelus’ abilities (you adore March, but will not comment on hers), you sigh in relief when your phone begins to buzz.

> Are you out yet? We're on our way. > Get something to eat if you haven't yet. I'll make sure something is ready for you on the Express too. > I know you can practice inedia, but you're still a human at the end of the day. Please get something to eat as soon as possible.

No hello, no I missed yous, just plain, practical concern—as always.

You are not a practical person.

> GEGE! > GEGE GEGE GEGE > DAN HENG GEGE > come fast i want to kiss u > i'll die if u don't kiss me soon > i missed you!!!!!! > did you miss me??????

You can more or less imagine the expression on your (hopefully unharmed) boyfriend's face: deadpan exasperation. The first time you came out of seclusion during your relationship, you texted him no less than twenty times in a row from a new number, and he reflexively flagged it all as spam. He's since told you to tone down the double texting (and triple texting, and quintuple texting, and dectuple texting…), but always replies anyway.

> The Express is about to warp. We'll be there soon. > I'll do whatever you like, please just eat.

You watch as an ellipsis appears at the bottom of your chat window, then disappears, then appears again. When he finally sends his text, a smile stretches wide across your face.

> And yes, I thought of you the whole time you were gone.

With your return to the Express, you make Dan Heng engage in all your usual couple activities. Which is to say: you act disgustingly sweet with him and the other passengers experience varying degrees of shock and entertainment at his complacent behaviour.

You surprise him as he works in the archives, looping your arms around his waist and pressing against his back so you can whisper things into his ear: Gege, pay attention to me! or Dan Heng, can't you take a break now? or Heng'er, are you really going to ignore your lover like this? So cruel!

Dan Heng doesn't react during these moments, but he also doesn't push you away. Sometimes he'll shove a stack of books into your hands and say, If you have time to mess around like this, then you can work on digitizing these for me. You always agree, but wheedle a kiss out of him in exchange for your hard labour.

(Welt Yang walks in on one such kiss, coughs loudly, and walks back out. Dan Heng pulls away from your lips to stare at the door in abject horror.)

You give Dan Heng a number of books and films from your travels, and keep him company as he dives into them. He always gravitates toward the latest Xianzhou novels first, especially the ones that give mention to everyday life on the Luofu. You suppose that he's never been able to rid himself of his curiosity about the life that he'd been denied, enthralled by visions of night markets and starskiffs, teahouses and cross-talkers. You can see his longing in the crease of his brow, the softening of his eyes as he reads.

Seeing his wistful expressions, it is impossible to stop yourself from keeping him company. You press into his side, resting your head on his shoulder—something that will comfort him, you hope—and read alongside him. Sometimes the two of you fall asleep like that, wrapped up in each other on the archive floor.

(March 7th stumbles into one of these moments and can't help but snap a picture of the two of you. Dan Heng later pales when he sees your lock screen, where your slumbering, entwined forms are clearly visible.)

You often convince Dan Heng to have a proper, sit-down dinner with you in the dining car. He won't ever do it for food from the kitchens, preferring to eat in the archives instead, but he'll do it for food you cook together. The two of you enjoy your meals while watching the interstellar scenery roll by outside, stargazing at distant galaxies. Sometimes you savour the tangy-sweetness of tomato-egg stir fry (your handiwork); sometimes you enjoy the rich broth of delicately steamed xiaolongbao (your boyfriend's handiwork); sometimes the both of you sweat over the punishing numbing-spice of malaxiangguo (a combined effort and favoured couple's activity—right up there with building furniture).

The other passengers wave whenever they see you, impressed that Dan Heng has emerged from the archives. They joke as they greet you: I guess you're the only one that can pull him out of his cave!

(The older ones—Himeko especially—laugh and talk fondly about young love when they spot you. Dan Heng's expression stays as stoic as ever, but the tips of his ears go red and he accidentally burns his tongue trying to eat his own bao.)

You address Dan Heng with an astonishing number of pet names at an alarming frequency; your excuse is that you need to make up for the four months you couldn't call him anything. Mostly you call him 'Gege' in public, which he usually doesn't mind as it saves him considerable face relative to all the alternatives, but this changes when Caelus starts teasing him about it.

Morning, Gege, he starts saying at breakfast, drawing a long stare from Dan Heng. Gege, can you help me with finding these records? he asks whenever he strolls into the archives. Before expeditions, he starts turning to Dan Heng and using his most sugary voice: You'll protect me, right, Gege? And Dan Heng turns to Himeko to flatly state, I will not be held responsible if he dies.

Eventually, Caelus grows bold enough to join you both for dinner: Gege, he asks, do you want me to hand-feed you these noodles too?

Dan Heng replies by rising from his seat and walking straight out of the dining car.

(Your long-suffering boyfriend eventually says, during one of your reading sessions, that Caelus is quickly becoming unbearable with this new habit of his.

Well, you muse, since he’s just teasing you about the way I talk to you, I could stop calling you ‘Gege’.

Dan Heng stops. He looks almost hesitant, like he wants to protest, but his expression flattens into a deadpan when you continue: I could always call you 'baobei' instead. What, you don't like that? But Heng'er, you're my baobei, my xingan baobei, my little little apple and beloved husb—whoa!

You laugh hysterically as you dodge the book he chucks at you.)

Sometimes you do get him to reciprocate your actions. Shockingly—despite his reserved and conscientious disposition—you have the greatest success with this whenever you tease him while he's working. You find it works best to crawl into his lap and kiss at his jawline, whispering into his ear while he tries to focus on his screen.

I’m so pent up, Gege, you often start with. I've been trying to take care of myself, but my fingers aren't enough. You like to straddle his hips as you talk, grind a little if you think you can get away with it. You whine if you do, pressing your face into his neck—right beneath his clenched jaw. Won't you give me some attention? Just ten minutes on this desk is all we need.

Dan Heng can only ever endure about fifteen minutes of this before throwing you over his shoulder. You inevitably find yourself being flipped over in a fireman's carry, being lectured in a flat tone. I don't know where you get off lying like that, he usually comments as he makes his way to your room, ignoring your yelping and kicking. 'Ten minutes'? Every time you act like this, you end up taking up my whole evening.

(He does, in fact, spend the rest of his night in bed with you, making it clear that there is no need for you to ‘take care of yourself’ so long as he’s around.)

But despite all the grief you give Dan Heng with your public, grand displays of affection, your favourite moments with him are the private ones. The ones where you sit next to him on his futon, sharing a pair of earbuds and listening to the latest hits from the various worlds to which you’ve travelled. The ones where you make dumpling skins together during the quiet hours of the kitchen, flour dusting your fingers as you roll out the dough that Dan Heng has kneaded. The ones where you spend lazy mornings in bed together, Dan Heng holding you as you talk at length about nothing at all.

The ones where you pause in your long-winded ramble to find him staring at you, his gaze fond and fully attentive. Met with such tenderness, you have no choice but to lean in and kiss him, long and deep and smiling—and in the privacy of your room, your boyfriend is more than happy to return it.

Some weeks after you return to the Express, Dan Heng gives you a long look after one such moment and says, "You should spend more time with me."

You raise a brow. "Eh? I already spend plenty of time with you, Heng'er. I've been bothering you 24/7 now that I'm back on the Express… It's a wonder you aren't sick of me yet."

"Of course I'm not sick of you," he replies plainly. "I could never be."

The admission makes you blink. Heat prickles the back of your neck. It's not often that Dan Heng is so straightforward with his feelings.

"And I mean"—he looks away, the red paint along his waterline hidden by his lashes—"that it'd be nice if you didn't have to leave the Express so often. If you could stay here all year round."

You can't stop yourself from frowning. "You know I don't like leaving you, but I really don't want to compromise my training." Your fingers sweep gently at his brow, brushing away his hair. "I wanna be strong enough to protect you, Gege. After I get to that level, I promise I'll be around more often." Then you smile a little. "And if I'm lucky, I might even get a long life out of it!"

Dan Heng's brow dips. "A 'long life'? The whole point of cultivation is to achieve immortality, isn't it?"

"Sure, in theory. In practice, almost no human ever becomes immortal by these means. If cultivation were so easy, then people wouldn't turn to shortcuts like magical elixirs or blessings from Aeon Yaoshi." You purse your lips, voice starting to colour with derision. "Not that I'd ever be shortsighted enough to chase either of those things, mind you. I'd rather work hard, have a long and healthy life, and die and reincarnate properly if it comes to that. Immortality isn't worth the strife caused by any other method."

Dan Heng studies you closely, his eyes steadfast on yours. "Then… what do you consider a 'long life'?"

You hum, thinking. "If I don't slack off with my training, I have maybe eighty to a hundred years of youth before I kick the bucket."

"Eighty years?" Dan Heng's eyes go a little wide. You aren't used to seeing it.

"Yes?" You shift, fidgeting. "But that's only if I'm lucky. Pushing for anything more would be tough. I could undergo a qi deviation and die… or I might just not be talented enough to reach that stage of cultivation and pass away from natural causes… someone could also just kill me at any time, given my lifestyle. I've got a lot of options for dying, you know."

Dan Heng doesn't reply, nor does he look at you. It occurs to you that this whole conversation might be unsettling for him, given everything that's happened with the Xianzhou Alliance, with the matter of his past life and that vengeful monster he seems unable to kill. The mere thought of immortality must be painful for Dan Heng.

"I'm sorry, Gege," you say. "It's insensitive of me to talk about these things with you. Anyway—I'm not seriously trying to become an immortal, so you don't have to worry about me. I'm not looking to break any taboos."

Your lover gives you a long, unreadable stare before replying, "Right. Of course. Nothing good can come from the pursuit of immortality." Cinnabar paint flickers as he looks away. "Human life should be as morning dew—fleeting and ephemeral."

Dan Heng starts to behave strangely, after that. Quieter and withdrawn. Not just subdued in his affection, but absent in it.

When you bother him in the archives, he no longer scolds you or distracts you with any work—merely continuing with his tasks, completely immersed in them. When March 7th and Caelus tease him about his many pet names, he doesn't get flustered—only rolls his eyes and ignores them. When the other passengers catch sight of the two of you dining together and fondly comment on your relationship, he hardly reacts. He only continues eating, staring absently at his dish—usually something you've made, because he seems uninterested in eating anything else these days.

(Are you sure you don't want actual food from the kitchens instead? you ask once, studying what's supposed to be dough for fried breakfast buns. For whatever reason, you can't get the consistency right. The Express chefs are way better than me, you know.

No, he insists. You made it, so I want to eat it.

You don't need to be so polite!

I'm not being polite. He looks down at your fingers, dusted snow-white with flour. It's just what I want.)

You wrongly assume, for a little bit, that he's somehow lost interest in everything but your cooking. It only feels like the logical conclusion, especially when Dan Heng gets into the habit of ignoring you for most of the day despite your use of every trick in your arsenal—from kissing him to teasing him to begging him for sex. He simply tells you that he'll entertain you later, and is otherwise too deeply absorbed in his work to pay attention to you.

"Is something wrong, Dan Heng?" you eventually ask, voice small. "Is it that you don't feel the same way about me anymore? Do you want to break up?"

Dan Heng goes stock still when he hears this. Without saying a word, he puts down his tablet, locks the door, and kisses you long and hard. And then—for the first time in your relationship—he proceeds to actually fuck you in the archives. He rails you next to the terminal for the better part of an hour, forces an earth-shattering orgasm out of you that ruins the carbon-fibre surface you're laid out on, and then he fills you up to the point that his spend starts trickling down your thigh.

Hazy and fucked out, you wonder idly if it's dripping down onto the phosphorescent tiles below. Dan Heng will probably make a fuss about it, especially since this is technically a public space, and the terminal is its most high-traffic area. He'd have a stroke if anyone ever saw this mess.

When he stands up, you assume that he's getting right to cleaning, like usual. The guy can hardly ever relax.

You don't expect it when he gets onto his knees and puts his head between your thighs.

"Gege?" you say, solidly confused, but before you can ask him what he's doing, you feel the press of his tongue against your dripping entrance and then all you can do is moan.

By the time Dan Heng is done with you, the two of you are messy and breathless, collapsed and tangled up in each other on his makeshift bed.

You stare at the ceiling, mind whirring even in your exhaustion. It had been hard to process the situation while your boyfriend was railing every thought imaginable out of you—but now that he’s finally done, the shock is settling in.

Holy shit, you think, Dan Heng never gets this nasty. Something really is wrong!

You think of broaching the matter, but Dan Heng beats you to it. He turns to you, says, "I don't want to break up," and then gets back on top of you for another round.

You decide to put your foot down.

The next night, you invite Dan Heng into your bedroom. You're all business this time. There's no whining, no teasing, no Heng'er, you don't want to touch me? There are no desperate and indirect plays to get his attention while you simmer in anxiety about what he's hiding from you. (This change is not because of your own strength of mind—of which you have none, when it comes to your boyfriend—but because you're now sure you won't break up, whatever happens.) Instead, you seat him at your table and regard him with a firm expression.

You're careful to keep your voice gentle, but you still don't hesitate: "I know something's been bothering you, Dan Heng. Can we please talk about it?"

Dan Heng is prepared for the question. "I'm sorry I've been neglecting you," he says instantly. "It won't happen anymore. I'm very serious about our relationship, and I have no wish for it to end."

You know he's being earnest. After spending the rest of his night fucking you—slow and sweet in your bed, rather than the desperate way he'd done it in the archives—he'd woken up this morning and gone back to normal. Paid attention to you, paid attention to others, humoured your public displays of affection and initiated his own in private. Acted like the past two weeks never happened, and that nothing’s been weighing on his mind.

Were he anyone else, you'd assume that you're simply being strung along for sex, or perhaps being distracted by it. But Dan Heng isn't anyone else: he has absolutely no interest in physical intimacy without the emotional kind. He'd slept with you as an affirmation of his feelings for you. (He probably also did it because you kept begging to be fucked, but that's neither here nor there.)

Still, as much as you liked having your back blown out in the archives, semi-public sex isn't exactly a healthy way to deal with relationship problems.

"I know you'll be more mindful of my feelings now," you reply, "but I'd still like you to tell me what's been bothering you. I won't force it out of you, but if you did tell me, we could maybe fix it?"

"It is unfixable," he replies, "and not a problem to begin with. Simply the nature of things that I must accept."

His tone is neutral. Factual. Certain of the insignificance of whatever the issue is, even though you know that he's not the type to be bothered by insignificant things.

You frown, confused. "If it's the nature of things, then it won't hurt for me to know."

Dan Heng isn't looking at you anymore, instead fixated on the view beyond your window. Peering at the many moons of this galaxy, he finally relents: "'The night-blooming cereus flowers only once.' This is how Vidyadharas describe human life."

You consider his words, contemplating the bittersweet air of the idiom.

"Because human life feels ephemeral to you?" you discern.

"Yes. The lifespan of a human is but a fraction of ours. It's never bothered me before, but"—he's finally looking at you now, and his expression guts you—"four months without you feels unbearable. I can't imagine four centuries."

You go quiet.

Dan Heng is right: this is the nature of things. Skilled as you might be, you aren't likely to be one of those rare few humans who can ascend to immortality without Yaoshi's fruit. He’ll likely need to spend the better part of his life without you, and then every lifetime thereafter. Such is the reality for a Vidyadhara choosing to love a short-life species.

“...I’m sorry, Dan Heng,” is all you can bring yourself to say, but he shakes his head.

“There is no need for you to apologize," he says plainly. "I should have prepared myself for this eventuality when I chose to commit myself to you. It cannot be helped."

Dan Heng loves this phrase, you think to yourself. It cannot be helped that I had to live alone for so many years. It cannot be helped that I was exiled from my home. It cannot be helped that I was punished for the sins of Yinyue Jun.

It cannot be helped that you will someday leave me.

A splinter digs into your heart. You reach out, squeeze his hand, and wish that you could do more.

"It cannot be helped," you agree, "but that doesn't make it any less painful."

Dan Heng does not speak, but the way that he closes his eyes is enough of a reply. No matter how unfeeling he makes his voice, his pain is evident.

You wait for him to collect himself. Listen to his breaths—deeper than usual, meditative, reflective. There is hesitation in his eyes when he finally looks at you. A weakness that he only ever shows at night, after waking from a terrible dream.

"...I know it's a cruel thing to ask of you," Dan Heng eventually says, and the bitter edge to his words surprises you, "and perhaps a sign that this soul of mine will never change in its sins, no matter how many times it is reborn—but is there no way for us to spend a life together?"

You forget how to breathe.

What he's asking you is not just heretical for him—it's traumatic. An echo of the crime he'd committed in his past life, the tragedy that marked him for suffering in this one. He must be desperate for an answer if he's voicing the question at all.

You struggle as you think through your options.

"Seeking out the Peaches of Immortality is out of the question," you start. "And Sanctus Medicus is just a bunch of nutjobs—no way could they make me immortal. Demonic cultivation is another Path, but I don't think you'd like the thing I'd become by the end of it."

A brilliant river of stars streams past the window, like the one in that ancient folktale about the bridge of magpies. You can see the reflection of your lover's face in the window: muted, sorrowful, already mourning you. And of course he's mourning you long before your death, with how much he'd lost long before his birth.

Oh, Heng'er, you think, even if I drank from Meng Po's bowl and lost every memory of you, I'd still find my way back to you in my next life.

It would be too cruel to say aloud, so you remain quiet—merely staring at the galaxy before you, hoping quietly to see some kind of bridge.

Then a nearby sun flickers, and you remember something.

"...I guess there is another option," you say slowly, "but I can't imagine you being happy with it."

He straightens up. "What is it?"

"Well…" You take a deep breath. "Sometimes people practice dual cultivation as a way to extend their life. It's quite safe, but would be difficult given our relationship."

Dan Heng stares. "What exactly does it entail?"

"Well… it's basically cultivating by having sex. If I slept regularly with an immortal being with highly refined qi, I could probably exchange energy with them and achieve longevity that way." You make a face at the thought. "But it's not exactly easy to find an immortal who'd want a lifelong friend with benefits… and I'd really rather not have sex with anyone other than you, anyway."

It would probably make him miserable.

You're surprised when Dan Heng looks thoughtful, rather than disturbed. He studies you for a long moment, considering.

"Vidyadharas are immortal," he says, "and the qi of a High Elder is much more powerful than that of any other species. Is it not helping that we're already coupling so often?"

"Not really." You reach out across the table, hold out your palm, and he knows to give you his hand. You turn it over, tracing a finger along the length of his wrist. "Dual cultivation with you wouldn't be very useful. You might have extraordinary qi as a Vidyadhara, but it's sealed when you're in your human form."

You feel for the warm glow of his meridians, even though you already know what you'll find—an ordinary, unremarkable life force coursing through his body.

Dan Heng doesn't seem discouraged, though, when you look back up at him. Only curious.

"Then," he says, "what about my dragon form?"

It doesn't end up being very straightforward.

For a full ninety minutes, Dan Heng sits in your room and listens to you discuss the mechanics of dual cultivation, also known traditionally as the 'art of the bedchamber'. As its name would suggest, there are quite a few nuances and technical considerations involved: different positions enhance your qi in different ways; certain acts are more useful than others; mutual pleasure must be attained for the greatest possible benefit.

It isn't just a lecture that you give him. You take out one of your cultivation manuals and show him various diagrams and poses. You whip out your tablet and visit "questionable websites" for "video demonstrations". You quiz him intensively at the end of each unit.

At around the seventy-minute mark, you catalogue Dan Heng's expression—thousand yard stare, stiff posture, red ears—and decide that you're overwhelming him. So you tell him the most important takeaway, which is that one thing he must absolutely do is—

"—finish inside you?"

"Mhm." You sound completely unbothered. "As much as possible. And as many times as possible."

He gives you a long, blank stare, and then crosses his arms. "...all of this is just a ploy to get me to do one of your favourite things in bed, isn't it."

"What? No! I wouldn't lie to you about something like this, Gege!" You're being truthful. Though your sex drive can sometimes drive you to try insane things, it never drives you to be cruel. "I'm being dead serious right now. This really will extend my life. Those cultivation manuals were proof!"

Dan Heng considers you. "You're right. You wouldn't lie about something like this."

"Thank you."

"You're already so shameless about begging for it—I don't think you'd see the need to come up with an excuse."

Wow.

"...okay, yes, but you're also pretty shameless about giving in."

Dan Heng clears his throat, and you try not to laugh. "Well, I've never had a reason not to, since we don't need to worry about pregnancy…" He tries very, very hard to assume some semblance of dignity as he deflects: "Anyway. I think I understand the gist of it. You more or less want me to do the usual things."

"Yes—but while you're in your original form, of course."

"Right." His eyes narrow, and his expression becomes uncertain: something you've only seen a handful of times. "...I do need you to know that taking that shape… complicates things. There is a reason why my powers are usually sealed."

You nod. You've known for a while now that Dan Heng hates invoking his Vidyadhara powers—he considers it as taboo as much as a Xianzhou native would. Truthfully, it did occur to you some time ago that exchanging qi with a dragon would make your cultivation progress leaps and bounds, but after learning about how much he despises that form of his, you'd scrapped the whole idea and put it out of mind.

You're surprised that he's even consenting to this, all things considered.

Noticing the tension in his body, you leave your teaching set-up (tablet, an annotated cultivation manual, and smartboard with various stick figures you've drawn) to rest a hand on his shoulder.

"I don't know if we have to worry about that. The Alliance only sealed Vidyadhara powers due to historical reasons relating to the Sedition, right?" you try to console him. "Rather than anything to do with your nature in this lifetime, I mean. You aren't inherently dangerous."

You can see the conflict in his eyes; your words run exactly counter to everything he must have heard while imprisoned on the Luofu.

"I don't know," Dan Heng finally says, "but for better or worse, things are still different when I take my true shape. I'm no longer used to it." He frowns a little. "The amount of power feels overwhelming to me now. It's fine in normal circumstances, but—" He struggles for a moment. "...I don't know how I'll behave in… these circumstances with you."

"Ah, I see. You're worried that you won't be able to control yourself while fucking you're me, huh?"

He gives you a disgruntled look. "Do you have to use such crass language?"

"Sorry, Gege. I'll try to speak eloquently like you: Yinyue Jun may fall to his base instincts once he's crossed the threshold of the chrysanthemum gate, right?"

His expression turns from disgruntled to disdainful. Evidently, he's not a fan of your erotica novel slang.

"Please be serious for once. We need to be careful if we do this. I might behave impulsively—do something rash. Accidentally hurt you."

You hum, considering his words. "That's surprising. I thought dragons were generally supposed to be pretty calm and wise…" Then you think about how you couldn't walk this morning. "Though I guess you weren't particularly calm yesterday."

He snorts. "Well, I usually am. Unfortunately, I find it exceptionally hard to control myself around you, with how much you like to provoke me," he says plainly. "It'll just get worse if I switch forms."

You try not to stare at him, shocked at how unbothered he is by these admissions. You suppose that multiple rounds of semi-public sex might have forced him to cross an event horizon of shame, and now his face is finally getting thicker.

"It isn't just my behaviour I'm worried about," he continues. His arms cross again, and his brow furrows. "You might find my form… unattractive. You probably won't like it."

You frown. "I can't imagine that. I bet the real Cold Dragon Young is super handsome."

It's a testament to his anxiety that he hardly reacts to your stupid comment. He just studies you carefully, uncertain. Apprehensive.

"I guess we'll find out."

END PART 1

notes: for those unfamiliar, this fic is set in the same universe as fengyue. fengyue was actually based on this fic, but due to my inability to manage deadlines, it came out way ahead of this LOL

i'm sorry there was no dragonfucking in this part when i have been promising dragonfucking for ages on this blog. but i am 12.5k words into part 2 and i can assure you that there is an excessive amount of incredibly nasty dragonfucking in it, so please look forward to that

this was written way before 1.2 came out (and in fact, before I had even caught up to 1.1 content). hopefully the characterization still holds up ok!

big, big thank you to @petrichorium for helping me navigate canon lore and riffing w me on this piece. please go check out their works, they have banger star rail content!

cultural notes:

cultivation is the practice of using martial and spiritual arts to cultivate one’s qi, gain spiritual powers, and attain immortality

dual cultivation is the act of refining your qi through having sex

I will be honest. I cannot remember the other cultural refs I dropped because I just kind of blindly write them in so please let me know if you have any questions about things LOL

translation notes:

gege is a term meaning "older brother", though it is often used for non-familial relationships that are very close; it can come off as either flirty or childish. heng'er is a diminutive of dan heng's name.

“If paradise is but a dream, then I wish to sleep forever” - this was a reference to the chinese version of dan heng’s ult line. in english, he says “this sanctuary is but a vision”. however, in chinese, he says “洞天幻化，长梦一觉” which is closer to something like “paradise is an illusion, reveals itself to be a long dream”

"The night-blooming cereus flowers only once" - this is how I rendered the idiom "曇花一現", which describes thing that are short-lived

"Human life should be as morning dew" - this is how I rendered the idiom "人生如朝露", which describes the ephemeral nature of human life

yes I really made dan-gege break out the chengyu and poetic speech... I'm not sure how he sounds in english but my man has his super literary moments in chinese haha

◇ Things that make his heart melt ◇

◇ ㅡ ㅡ ㅡ ㅡ ㅡ ◇ ㅡ ㅡ ㅡ ㅡ ㅡ ◇

🌿 Warning: Spoilers 🌿

🪷 [ It wasn't in my plans before, but I really want to comfort these boys ]

🪷 [ Cuties, I see your requests and don't forget about them. I'm going through a little stressful period right now, so it may take a little longer than I wanted, but I'm already working on it ]

◇ ㅡ ㅡ ㅡ ㅡ ㅡ ◇ ㅡ ㅡ ㅡ ㅡ ㅡ ◇

ㅡ Suo, Sakura, Umemiya

Suo

Sincere care for him

Everyone knows that Suo is strong in every sense. He is also smart, restrained, independent and confident.

It is not uncommon for people to admit such thoughts in his direction as 《 He is strong/smart/hardy, he will cope 》, waving away unnecessary worries.

But not you. You've never neglected it and it came from the heart. You knew that Suo was far from weak and admitted it, but it never affected the level of your concern for him. Yes, he is, but this does not mean that you can take less care of him, referring to the fact that he can do it himself.

Strong people can take care of the difficulties outside and also take care of themselves. But if they can, it doesn't mean that it's easy for them.

You always paid attention to his comfort in one situation or another, did some small and inconspicuous things that actually made a big difference.

Starting from the way you imperceptibly put a cooling compress in his furin jacket pocket before patrolling on a hot day or a a small pocket warmer in winter, and ending with silent hugs at the right moment to maintain peace in his soul.

It wasn't just a superficial concern, it was about his feelings.

At first, he somehow automatically shielded himself from it, it was his defense mechanism. He didn't want to admit that he needed it in any way, he didn't want you to think that he had at least some weaknesses to know the truth.

However, time and your perseverance have done their job. Over time, Suo began to accept your truly deep concern, letting it into his heart and passing through it.

And believe me, it made his heart blossom.

Sakura

Listening and hearing

Sakura, as a person who has spent his whole life alone, is not used to conducting dialogues and generally having any long-term relationships with people.

That's why, when he first caught himself telling you about some hobby of his with a desire, and at that time you were really listening attentively to him, he felt this terribly strong and strange feeling in his chest.

Of course, at the same moment he fell into a stupor, and then he got angry because he was confused. You still don't understand why he abruptly stopped talking, flushed red in annoyance, and then abruptly said goodbye and ran away.

Poor boy, for him, these feelings seem especially strong. Because it was the first time for him.

You knew it was very difficult for Sakura to open up to people. That's why, when he started sharing his thoughts with you or telling you something, you immediately put all the worries in your head aside and focused on Sakura.

You wanted him to feel heard so that he would understand that you want to hear and listen to him

And it was at such moments that the young man's heart seemed to melt like ice under the warm rays of the spring sun.

God, you really make this boy happy.

Umemiya

Special intimate moments between you

When you are alone, he's lying on your lap, and you're stroking his head.

It is this moment that permeates Hajime's heart and soul with sparkling threads that touch his most sensitive and vulnerable points.

At this moment, he feels as if he is transported back to childhood, when he was still a carefree, happy, beloved little boy, surrounded by family love and a sense of childish lightness.

Once he had lost this happiness, these incredible sensations, but now he had found them again. In a different form, but the same happiness.

He is lying on your lap, and your fingers are tangled in his white hair while you stroke him and at this moment Umemiya feels this warmth again, he is sincerely loved again, he is again childishly carefree and happy, he is home again.

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