Line That Killed Me When Han Sooyoung Declared Her◾◾. If You Even Care.

line that killed me when han sooyoung declared her◾◾. if you even care.

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orv han sooyoung orv spoilers abfd

More Posts from Panca123 and Others

panca123

8 months ago

do you think that kdj's past (od's future) happened because od imagined kdj's life to be like that? failing school, getting into a third rate college, eventually going to the military... because he never believed he could have a decent, happier life in "reality". that even his best self could live only during the scenarios, never in the mundanity of a normal, non-apocalyptic world.

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orv kim dokja i used to think that there was no way i would live on to be any older when i was a kid could not imagine a future where i didn't kill myself before 20 i used to look at the adults and was mesmerized by how they managed to live on despite it all do you think od felt the same. a future filled with happiness was simply not possible against all probability

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panca123

6 months ago

new "would you love me if i was a worm?" discourse dropped! would you love me if i was a bug?

kimcom surely seems to like the idea of taking care of bug kim dokja

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orv kim dokja kimcom bug kim dokja

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panca123

7 months ago

A black and white, inky-looking fancomic for Omniscient reader's viewpoint. All the speech bubbles look like text bubbles from a messenger, specifically midday tryst. They all have a symbol signaling if those texts were read. Most of them are unread.
In a coffin lays Kim Dokja in his stark white coat. A text bubble is covering his face completely. It's a call to him - it says "Kim Dokja."
Next frame is Yoo Joonghyuk looking down at him, with his face, too, hidden behind the text. Above his is the heavy, dark sky.
"Han Sooyoung told me to stop paying for midday tryst."

Presumably a flashback to the conversation - Yoo Joonghyuk standing in front of Han Sooyoung, who is sitting with her feet on the chair, a laptop with an open word document on her lap. She is pointing at him with a lollipop in accusatory manner.
Yoo Joonghyuk is quoting Han Sooyoung here: "Use a notepad. Like the reast of us". Her words, again, cover both of their faces.
Next frame is Han Sooyoung showing off a tattered notepad with first page filled up with someone's writing.
"For someone you kept around she is surprisingly clueless."
"Her notepad was full of your notes. Was it even hers to begin with?"

Yoo Joonghyuk's hand is reaching towards the notepad, but Han Sooyoung retracts her hand.
"She didn't let me check."
Han Sooyoung is shown holding the notepad gently, carefully. Text bubbles cover her expression completely.
"I saw its well-loved pages."
"She wouldn't care that much if it was hers."

Both Han Sooyoung and Yoo Joonghyuk are standing in front of a giant portrait of Kim Dokja in an ornate frame. Han Sooyoung is watching it, while Yoo Joonghyuk is watching her.
The text bubble covers Kim Dokja's eyes, but not his serene smile.
"I think..."
"She also can't let go."

$First frame is Yoo Joonghyuk's profile showing his tired, weary eyes. The speech bubble covers his mouth, and it's the first read one: "She'd say". Next is, again, unread, seemingly a side note to Yoo Joonghyuk's monologue: "If she was in a lyrical mood". Next frame is a statue of Kim Dokja, a crumbling figure with his hands in a gesture of an embrace, a gentle smile on his face. Han Sooyoung is reaching up towards it, as if tracing his fractured face with her fingers. "Your absence" "Is revered as sacred."$

Han Sooyoung's quote continues:
"Since your presence was lesser than none." with Yoo Joonghyuk's addition of "Big words like these don't suit her."
Accompanying it is a shot of Han Sooyoung and Yoo Joonghyuk laying on the ground with Kim Dokja's shadow being cast in the empty space between them. At the edges of the frame there are cropped out heads, seemingly belonging to other versions of Han Sooyoung and Yoo Joonghyuk.
Next frame is a shot of a wall with many photographs of Kim Dokja's companions pinned to it. Kim Dokja's hands are pinning Yoo Joonghyuk's and Han Sooyoung's photos. Between all the photos there are white threads, connecting them all, making the composition look like a chaotic spiderweb.
"It did shape our connection."
"Your absence, i mean."

It is revealed that above that composition made out of kimcom's photos there is a picture of Kim Dokja. All the white thread lead up to it, covering his face in the process, but at the same time they are interrupted by the text bubble, and it is a read one:
"After all, we share an object of mourning."

Two vertical frames, both featuring Kim Dokja mirroring himself. On the left it's Kim Dokja with a hidden face standing under starry sky. His shadow is appearing as a dotted line - or a line of train carriages.
On the right is Kim Dokja's vague shape reflecting in a glass window of a bookshop, noticed by Yoo Joonghyuk, who is surrounded by other members of kimcom, including Mia. That Kim Dokja is smiling.
"Your inheritance for us"
"Was survivor's guilt"
"In a shape of a smile."

Kim Dokja is now laying in a hospital bed. It's bright and bathed in sunlight, but his face is hidden by a speech bubble. It is also a read one: "Your so-called happy ending -".
A shot of Yoo Joonghyuk dark silhouette in the door of Kim Dokja's room, his white coat visible, hanging on the chair next to the bed.
"Salvation of the last man standing,"
Yoo Joonghyuk leaves, a heavy shadow completely hiding his face now.
"And as you said, the price was way too high."

Whole page is focused on Yoo Joonghyuk. His face is desperate, empty, as if he's on the very edge of no return, staring into the empty space in front of him with hands almost cradling the speech bubble calling for Kim Dokja.
"Kim Dokja."
"I think i can't pay the interest. It's far too high."

A closer shot of Yoo Joonghyuk. He is looking up with hands locked in a gesture of a prayer. His face is as desperate and hollow as on the previous page. The text bubble hide Yoo Joonghyuk's mouth.
"I cannot let go on my own."

A shot of Han Sooyoung sitting with her legs up on a chair, almost curling onto herself, watching the laptop sitting on her stomach. Her experssion is unclear, hidden by her hair. The light from the laptop is sparkly, filled with little stars.
The read text says: "I am sure Han Sooyoung can fix it."
Next one is unread: "Who else if not her".

All the read messages combined say:
"She'd say: after all, we share an object of mourning. Your so-called happy ending. I am sure Han Sooyoung can fix it".

Tags

orv kim dokja yoo joonghyuk han sooyoung yoohankim yoohan without the kim

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panca123

6 months ago

lyrics from the song Bernadette by IAMX

i also posted it on instagram here :)

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orv kim dokja han sooyoung op this is beautiful art

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panca123

7 months ago

its built into their character, who they are as people. they are made of love. for kim dokja to not have split into 49/51, he would have to Not Be kim dokja. for yoo joonghyuk to give up on kdj, gain closure and move on with his life easily, he would have to Not Be yoo joonghyuk. its not mentioned in the screenshot, but han sooyoung is the same. for hsy to not have written twsa, to not have written orv; she would have to someone, anyone other than han sooyoung. as herself she will always have this stubborn kindness in her heart. her monstrous huge heart!!! capable of giving all of the world's love and more!!!!!

thinking about this

they both tried so hard. kim dokja would never sacrifice himself again, but he did. yoo joonghyuk would never regress again, but he did. something something orpheus will always look back for eurydice...

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orv kim dokja yoo joonghyuk han sooyoung yoohankim

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panca123

2 months ago

A digital comic for Omniscient Reader's Viewpoint all drawn in digital pencil. The comic is monotone, using shades of dark gray. There are ten pages to the comic, each including verses from the poem "One
Source of Bad Information" by Robert Bly.

Page 1: An older Kim Dokja and a young Kim Dokja/Oldest Dream stand back-to-back. The older Dokja is staring into the distance with a blank, tired expression. He is wearing a dress shirt and pants with his signature white coat on top. The younger Dokja is smiling as he looks down at a book. He is wearing a baggy sweater. The poem verses read: "There's a boy in you about three years old who hasn't learned a thing for thirty thousand years. Sometimes it's a girl."

Page 2: A white background fades into black. A series of images is visible. In black pencil, a young Dokja covers his ears and closes his eyes shut as speech bubbles of shouts surround him. He is wearing a baggy sweater and a shirt, and his hands are covered in bandages. In the next scene we see his eyes wide open in horror, tears streaming down. Lastly, in gray pencil, we see: a hand holding a bloody knife, and a larger pair of hands caressing a small hand. They are all trembling.

The poem continues: "This child had to make up its mind how to save you from death."

Page 3: A black background fades gradually into white. In white pencil, we see three images: a young Dokja hugging a blanket around him, a hand holding up a microphone surrounded by eyes gazing down at it, and a tray of untouched food. The poem reads: "He said things like: "Stay home. Avoid elevators. Eat only elk."

Page 4: A white background with a slight gray tint at the center, where we see a scene from an office. An older Dokja sits in a cubicle, wearing a dress shirt and typing on a laptop. In the background, we see Yoo Sangah sitting near him.

The poem reads: "You live with this child but you don't know it."

Page 5: On a white background, three scenes are visible. The older Dokja enters his home, dressed in a business suit and carrying a bag around his shoulder. In the next scene, a younger Dokja walks inside, the bag hanging on a hook next to him. In the last scene, young Dokja is curled up in bed in his blanket and is staring at his phone.

The poem reads: "You're in the office, yes, but live with this boy at night."

Page 6: A close-up of the last scene from Page 5: Young Dokja is staring at his phone as he lies in bed, blanket curled around him. In the close-up we can see that his eyes are bright and full of little stars as he looks at his phone.

The poem reads: "He's uninformed, but he does want to save your life."

Page 7: On a white background, we see a worn-out notebook. The pages are slightly curled and covered in rough sketches and doodles. The sketches include Yoo Joonghyuk's sword and a large doodle of his signature black coat. The rest of the pages are filled with scribbles of character names from Ways of Survival.

The poem continues: "And he has."

Page 8: On a white background, two scenes are visible. First, a young Dokja holds an older Dokja's hand and is trying to drag him towards something on the right. The older Dokja is wearing his business attire, and his hand is limp in the younger child's grip. The young Dokja is wearing a baggy sweater.

In the second scene, an Older Dokja wearing his dress shirt and white coat stands with his hands in his pockets. Yoo Joonghyuk is standing at the other end of the page, looking down at him with his hands in his pockets. Joonghyuk is wearing his black coat. No expressions are visible on any of the characters in this scene.

The poem reads: "Because of this boy you survived a lot."

Page 9: On a white background, a black rectangle is visible. The outline of young Dokja is drawn in white pencil on top of this black rectangle, sitting on a window ledge looking outside. Curtains billow around him. As his legs dangle below the black window, they are drawn in black pencil on the white background.

At the bottom of the page, a search bar is visible. It contains the Korean phrase: "살아 남는 방법". The phrase roughly translates to: "ways to survive".

The poem reads: "He's got six big ideas. Five don't work."

Final Page (Page 10): A white background fades into black. At the bottom of the page the inside of a subway cart is visible. A young Dokja is sitting with his knees on the seats, looking out the window. Next to him, an older Dokja sits with his head in his hands. Outside the window stars and galaxies are visible.

The final line of the poem reads: "Right now he's repeating them to you." End of comic. /END ID

Orv Poetry Series: One Source of Bad Information by Robert Bly [IDs in alt]

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orv kim dokja what if i died i cant begin to describe how this makes me feel

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panca123

7 months ago

You were supposed to save him, you were made to save him

[ID: Black and white Omniscient Reader's Viewpoint fanart of Han Sooyoung and Yoo Joonghyuk. Sooyoung is shouting at Joonghyuk, who is sinking against her with one hand at her shoulder as she holds him by the collar. Sooyoung looks pained and angry, and she's crying. Joonghyuk's face is lowered and obscured by his collar. End ID] (Thank you to @/princess-of-purple-prose for writing it!)

Tags

orv yoo joonghyuk han sooyoung yoohan

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panca123

2 months ago

Tags

orv kim dokja yoo joonghyuk han sooyoung yoohankim

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panca123

2 months ago

epilogue II

the beautiful days still didn’t arrive or at least not as i had imagined - there was no bright and early awakening, or a stretch towards the sun, no feeling of "i am finally worthy" and no lack of the familiar shadows. the beautiful days were disjointed and blemished, the streets were littered and the sun was too hot, the clouds too little, the breeze on my cheek not enough to ruffle my hair like the movies. the ancient cathedral was a modern art installation and the historical city was a street, but my heart was stirred all the same

my beautiful days were so ordinary i barely noticed, until the stroke of midnight, how much i loved them. come back to me, night spent in a hotel room playing mafia, come back to me exhausted laughter and charades and home-cooked pasta. come back to me, friends, and accuse me of being the mafia again and let me laugh and incriminate myself again, and let me love you in that moment, please, i didn't realise it then

my sweet forgiving days let me sleep in though the 8am alarm still woke me, perhaps my body had heard my desire to consume and conserve the daylight hungrily - summer sun, let's put aside our rivalry, you made our smiles glow so gently on the last day, i owe you

my sweet forgiving days, that i fear, that i fear are lulling me into complacency, i fear so much but i love you still. i love you still, i thank the heavens for you still, train delays and all. i'll trudge through the city on tired feet and sleepless muscles again, come back, i'll wear my short sleeves and you will make it feel okay.

come on, hurry, the train will soon arrive and the karaoke place will soon close, i heard my voice in recording and i'll forgive it, i sang you proud. the city is so alive, breathing me in and out, pushing me against the hand-grip of the subway and pulling me from bookstore to bookstore, up and down the stairs and up and down, and up once more because the apartment was always one floor higher than i hoped, though i already knew that from the blue flower prints i memorised, and the rainbow mat of the neighbour who must've cursed us out, let me send flowers to them, let me send flowers. thank you for allowing me joy and delirium and obnoxious laughter. happiness is so fleeting and easily questioned, forgive me, allow me your mercy of returning again and again, and again as i look into my friends' smiles and burst into giggles.

my beautiful days were so short and spaced between the ordinary days (that were still beautiful, god, they were all so beautiful-) but you still fit so much inside; i battle time and memory to keep you with me, a little more, a little longer, let me linger on the memory of touch and sound and don't you dare take it away from me. my world and my people and my people's people and my world's planet, i love you so.

and when that plane lands, and that shuttle screeches to a halt, and when i walk down that wooden hallway and hear the familiar roll of my suitcase, i know i'll forget you, i'll forget that i'm not alone. the past will beckon me once more and my daydreams will say so what of happiness when there is no success within it. but perhaps one fine morning of sleeping in again the world will forgive me as it always does, as i pray it always will, and i will be reminded that i have pockets of my heart beating gently around this stupidly large globe. maybe a smile or a joke will set it off, maybe a moment of sadness or even frustration, maybe i can be missed as i miss you so already, all of you, all of you, all of you who i remember and forget with the turn of the earth and the pilot's steady descent onto the landing. i love you so much even when i don't. i love you so much even though i will never be certain that you love me, i will never accept that you can love me differently or less or more, or perhaps not at all. not at all. not at all-

but you did for a moment, right?

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poetry

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panca123

7 months ago

if youve ever left long rambling tags on any of my posts i love you by the way

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