Soap: It’s So Annoying How Ghost Is Good At Everything. There’s Got To Be Something He’s Terrible

Based on this silly tweet

Pete smiling when Vegas was torturing him gave me vibes of "if you can't beat them, outfreak them" and i support him in this honestly

*legs kicked up behind me while I twirl the phone cord between my figures giggling like a school girl*

So there’s this anti pope

i am a firm believer that ghost always under reacts about Very Serious Things and freaks everybody else out because of it

soap, trying to chat to ghost after they wrap up a mission: —crazy right? and after that he—hey are u even listening to me? wtf

ghost, whose eyes have not been on soap once since he started talking: i’m listening. i’m just also hallucinating my dead family in that corner over there at the same time. i can multitask

soap, Extremely Concerned: ?????????

ghost, now swaying: yea one of them jabbed me with a hallucinogenic. don’t worry, i slit his throat

soap:

ghost: don’t look at me like that, i can handle it. it was only one syringe

soap:

———————

like imagine 141 post-mission, all sitting quietly in their exfil vehicle and then ghost suddenly sighs extremely loudly

ghost: ugh

price: what, simon??

ghost, peeved: my rib just punctured my lung

everyone:

ghost: :/

price, going into cardiac arrest, so tired of simon’s shit:

disney and hbo when they saw pedro pascal

everything i do i do with playful and bisexual intent

she mummied on my dust til i pummelled it with opulence

nothing, just the phrase "meesa thinks yousa been a bad boy" echoing on repeat in my brain

One more shitpost for the day

caitlyn: [removes vi from her lap to do work]

vi: wife is... evil? wife is unyielding? wife hates me? I am running away. I am packing my little rucksack and going into hiding in zaun as a lone vagabond. I can no longer thrive in this household.