y'all, I'm sorry, he's so bad but he's so fine. like I can't even defend him
Incest fics are way too common
The thing that strikes me about Megstiel is how nobody but Meg CLAIMED Cas the way she did. "I'll just take MY angel," "That's MY boy," "Save your brother... and MY unicorn." When Cas was just kind of... there... to Sam and Dean (most of the series, tbh), Meg was the only one who said, "Does nobody want this sad weird little angel? OK, DIBS!"
And fuck yeah it was mutual. Seven years after she's dead and you're still calling yourself by your pet name for you? You think you see her in a nether realm and for a split second look less world-weary and more hopeful and joyous than you have in years?
He was HER angel. No question. But also, she was HIS demon. They were each other's. Fight me.
When you're addicted to ao3 but you have exams tmrwđ„č
General Hcs :) (more like rambles)
đ©»House & teenage daughter that looks juuust a bit too much like him? Buddy don't get me started-
đ©»I feel like he'd really get along with a teen daughter (he's just a teenage girl too, I fear)
đ©»Like he's one of those cool dads that you can share anything with without getting scolded/grounded or anything like that. Don't get me wrong, you're getting raised with manners, but you're also getting raised to be a menace when it comes to standing your ground.
đ©»I mean c'mon, it's Greg House we're talking about, he's pretty goddamn stubborn.
đ©»You guys also have a bunch of inside jokes. One of which being referring to eachother with the most exaggerated, old-fashioned, formal forms ever known to the English language, when in reality you're just telling him to buy toilet paper on the way home because there's none left
"Father, I regret to inform you that I require hydration, however am far too away from the only water source in our fortress and am far too lazy to raise myself upon my feet."
"My dearest, dearest daughter.
No fucking way, get your lazy ass up and pour a glass yourself." "But dad-"
đ©»Btw swearing is 100% something natural for your household. House would probably squeeze in a remark or two if you overdo it, but overall he has no problem with hearing swears from you (because he also swears every now and then)
đ©»(Off topic, but you'd regularly make puns about the apartment being a 'House-hold' and he'd pretend to hate every single one of them, but deep down he'd actually find them amusing)
đ©»Apartment is a mess. All the time. Almost everywhere.
đ©»But I don't mean filthy mess. I mean just untidy, but you guys know what's where and find a way around it
đ©»Unspoken rule that you tell eachother whenever you move something, just in case the one that did the moving forgets
đ©»You probably know how to cook better than he does, for some magical reason
đ©»You convinced him to try cooking dinner once. Almost burned the kitchen down. But you did have a laugh about it later, so it's all good
đ©»Most times you guys order takeaway, but if you step up and decide to whip something up yourself? He wouldn't tell you face-to-face, but you can see the flicker of pride in his eyes and the hint of an almost fond grin on his face
đ©»He might not be able to cook dinner, but he can definitely make breakfast. Expect scrambled eggs and sausage/whatever ham he could find in the fridge greeting you when you wake up. He might even make pancakes on weekends/rare dayoffs
đ©»Aaah he loves that you share a music taste with him if you do!!
đ©»If you don't, he won't stop you from listening to it ofc, he'd just complain about it whenever it wasn't on headphones (đ)
đ©»But if you did share a music taste? ... Getting noise complaints from the neighbours about classic rock getting blasted past 10 pm wouldn't be the most uncommon
đ©»Would support you in any hobbies you have, 100%. Both financially and by psyching you up.
đ©»You draw? He has a sketch/artwork of yours framed somewhere in his office. Crochet? He still keeps the mini crochet doll of himself on his keys. Knit? He wears the scarf you made him every winter. Read? He's buying you at least one new book every month or two. You'd have to help with installing new bookshelves though, he'd do nothing but lay on the couch for the most part and blame it on the legâą. Play any instrument? You have the whole ass setup for it in your room at home. If the instrument is suitable for piano duets, he's so down to do one with you
đ©»Would so be down to playing any type of video game with you. You guys probably have a gamecube/nintendo 360/xbox/whatever the hell there was in his time I have no idea
đ©»Lets you mess around on his Gameboy if you ever come to work with him and get bored
đ©»Greg might be kind of an asshole to people and he might claim not to care, but he definitely cares, especially about you.
đ©»If you're happy, he genuinely feels at ease too. But if he senses any shift in your normal behaviour, anything that he might find alarming? He wouldn't push it more than an "Anything wrong? Or are you this frowny all the time?" or a "Wanna talk about it?". But he'd do his best to subtly show you he's here for you and you can talk to him. About anything that might be troubling you, anything
đ©»House isn't used to saying 'I love you', but he does his best to show it to you.
đ©»Until one day you come home crying and he realises - he has no idea what to do. So he does what feels most unnatural to him, but knows that you need. He offers a hug. If you accept it, he gladly wraps his arms around you and tucks your head under his chin. Rubs your shoulders and back a little. Offers to hear you out if you need to talk. Then proceeds to trashtalk whoever/whatever made you cry with you. He's a number 1 gossip buddy, makes you feel so much better by doing it too. He'd then order your fav food and offer to do whatever you wanted, really. Ends the night by sending you off to bed with an awkward shoulder rub, but a look of soft longing in his glossy eyes (he wants to kiss your forehead and tuck you in like he did back when you had nightmares, but he's scared of being vulnerable with you cuz you're older now)
đ©»Overall, House is pretty emotionally constipated at times and doesn't like being vulnerable or showing affection. But he'd be a cool, loving father and I die on this hill.
Benedict Bridgerton x Reader
Summary: Covered in flour. It is how she usually spent her days, working hard at her family's bakery. She just hadn't expected to have met him in such a state.
Word Count: 11.8k
Warnings: pining, angst, fluff, a small assault (reader gets hit, not by Benedict!), mention of pregnancy (like, literally a line or two),
A/N: Did I write an entire fic barely based on that one scene in Camp Rock where Mitchie is covered in flour? Yes. Do I regret it? No.
With the melting of snow and the promise of new starts, the social season was nearly upon the ton, nearly upon all the potential suitors and debutantesâall waiting with bated breath to secure a match this year. Of course, those in waiting were of high status, usually tied to the aristocracy or drowning in wealth beyond compare.
The others? The ones not blessed with endless funds or pure luck of royal lineage had the privilege, nay, honor to serve those who would be so fortunate. For the many, it included servicing the estatesâbutlers, ladyâs maids, governesses, home chefs and the like. For the patrons on Tilbury Street, it included the less sought after roles, polishers, cobblers, modistes and bakeries. One bakery in particular was the prime choice for the aristocracy, a diamond in the rough as some may say.Â
âI just simply donât understand why we cannot have our chefs prepare the pastries for the ball,â Eloise Bridgerton nearly groaned, her arm hooked onto her motherâs. They had been walking up and down Tilbury Street for the better part of twenty minutes, simply enjoying the fresh spring weather. âIâve never known them to make horrid dishes.â
âItâs the first Bridgerton Ball of the season, Eloise,â the dowager viscountess murmured politely. âAlong with it being the first Kate has had the pleasure of hosting, putting an order in here is a fresh foot forward, one thatâll impress our guests.â
Eloise barked back a laugh. âIf it is so important, why is Kate not here to make the order herself?â
âThat, dear sister, is an excellent point.â Following close behind the two Bridgerton ladies was a rather tall shadow, equally as dashing and nearly as cleverâBenedictâthe second eldest son of the Bridgerton brood. âSurely Anthony could spare his wife for one afternoon, I canât imagine it being so difficult to pry them from their bedroomââ
âBenedict Bridgerton!â Violet snapped, turning hot on her heels to face her son. He could only laugh.
âOh Mother, you must relax,â he said lovingly, patting both hands on her shoulders. âYou know better than I that it could have been a far fouler thoughtâwhy, I can easily imagine three other ways I could have expressed my way of thinking.â
âAh, ever the poet, Benedict,â Eloise smiled wryly, pushing her way to the front of their clump. No one had the heart to mention the glaring fact that it was likely she didnât know the way in which they were headed.Â
âThis bakery,â Violet continued half-heartedly. âIs a prestigious supplier for the tonâyou may recall their exquisite cake that we had ordered for Daphneâs wedding.â
Benedict hummed contently. âIt was a good cake,â he practically nodded off at the thought. The decadent sponge nearly brought him to tearsâof course, it could have very well been the relief from undue stress of Daphneâs season altogether, having nearly lost his older brother to an unnecessary duel.
âI think it was far too sweet,â Eloise said, scrunching her nose in distaste. âI had to drink nearly three cups of tea to clear out the sugar on my tongue.â
âAh, but whatâs life without a little bit of sweetness?â Benedict nearly sang.
âPerfectly fulfilling,â his younger sister quipped back.
The dowager viscountess could only sigh, her eyes reaching up to the clouds above. While she loved nothing more than being the mother of all eight of her perfect children, their endless bickering and bantering grew vexing. It merely took the Bridgerton siblings another minute of arguing before stopping in front of a quaint storefrontâthe sickeningly sweet aroma filling the street. âWeâre here.â
âI could have told you as much,â Benedict mumbled, rubbing his temple lightly. âThe scent is⊠overpowering.â If he were lucky, the headache that was quickly forming would dull fast.
âBut Benedict,â Eloise turned hot on her heels. âWhatâs life without a bit of sweetness?â
Violet Bridgerton was quick to catch her second eldest's hand before it met the back of Eloiseâs head. âIf itâs too much for you, dear,â she released her grip. âPlease feel free to wait for us out here. It should only take a moment.â
âLike a âmomentâ at the modiste?â Benedict crossed his arms, his brow nearly touching his hairline. âIf I recall, the last time I accompanied you to the dressmaker, I spent over an hour basking in the summer sun.â
âNothing logical stopped you from coming in,â Eloise drawled. âOf course, if you wanted to managed to stay pleasant with the seamstress, one should have kept it in his trousersââ Â
âWeâll only be a moment,â Violet hushed Eloise quickly, grasping the top of her arm firmly. âThere seems to be little wait. Weâll be on our way shortly.â
He huffed towards the sunâwhile there had been little heat near the start of the English spring, the sun was warm against his skin. Benedict enjoyed being outdoors more often than not, it was usually the reason he accompanied his mother on their errands nearly every other day of the season. That, of course, and the fact it got his worrying mama off of his back to be wed. With Anthony finally securing a match, it was only fitting for Violet Bridgerton to be working her way down her list of endless childrenâhaving only two of eight married off. âIt should only be a moment,â Benedict reassured himself, watching various other families and couples walk by.Â
That is, until he heard a rather loud bang coming from the alley beside him. He should have known betterâhe was taught betterâthan to investigate outlandish sounds, especially in town, but Benedict Bridgerton was nothing if not curious. He peeked around the corner, holding his breath, preparing to be met with a wild animal of some kind. His view was shaky at best, hardly could see a thing around the bricks. If he wanted a better look, heâd have to take a few steps towards the unusual noise.Â
A large white cloud had enveloped the small alley, it was difficult to even see a few meters ahead, let alone what could have caused the loud commotion. Benedict waved his hand through the mysterious fog, trying to clear some air. âHello?â He heard a soft squeak. An animal, it had to have been, Benedict was sure of it now. âIs anyone there?âÂ
A cough rang through the alley, startling him more than rogue vermin could have. The cloud had begun to dissipate, the white settling on the stone street below. Flour, if he had to guess, given the location.
âIâm alright,â a voice murmured quietly, another soft cough following quickly after. The shape of a person came into view, the air finally clearing enough for him to make sense of the scene he came upon. It was one of a woman now covered head to toe in the white powderâshe had no distinguishable features, the flour was caking every bit of her body and dress. Just striking eyes that made Benedictâs heart jump to his throat. âJust⊠made a mess.â
âSo it seems,â Benedict hummed, stepping over a pile of powder to get closer. âDo you require any help?â
âNo, no,â she laughed. âI wouldnât want you to get dirty. I fear Iâve got quite enough of that for the both of us.â
âI donât mind getting dirty,â Benedict said quickly, his tongue moving faster than his brain. âBut⊠yes, I suppose itâd be for the best if I refrained from getting any flour on me. May I ask howâŠ?â
âClumsy,â she uttered simply, the shrug of her shoulders speaking nothing but truth. âI must have the slipperiest fingers in townâI wish I could say this was the first timeâŠâ
âManage to cover yourself in flour often?â Benedictâs lips pulled into a jesting smirk.
âNearly every other day,â the woman sighed. âWeâve grown accustomed to purchasing an extra sack or two just for situations like these."
âI hardly doubt you could be that clumsy,â Benedict laughed, leaning against the stone wall. âBut, I am painting quite the image in my head.â
âOh I do hope Iâm decent in that image, Mr. Bridgerton,â she giggled, curtsying in a near-mocking manner.
âHow do you knowââ
âEveryone knows your family, Mr. Bridgerton, Iâd be a fool to admit I donât know who you areâthough you and your brothers all blur together, so I am merely taking a shot in the dark in which of the four you are.â
âOh?â
She nodded once, a flurry of powder falling from her hair. A muffled shout from the back door startled her, grabbing her attention. âAh,â the woman waved the air in front of her face, âI suppose I should take my leaveâget cleaned up.â
âOf course,â Benedict said simply. âI wonât keep you.â In nearly an instant, the mysterious dusted lady disappeared from view, diving into the back door. He was taken aback by her candidnessâhaving addressed him so forwardly without the pleasantries of a name exchange. âDamn,â he mumbled to himself, kicking residual flour off of his polished shoe, âI never asked for her name.â Would it be too forward to knock on the back door to ask for her? Benedict Bridgerton couldnât wrap his head around the interactionâshe nearly sent him into a tizzy.
âBrother?âÂ
Eloise stood at the end of the alley, clutch in hand, face pinched in confusion.Â
âAh, I suppose youâre finished?â
âHardly,â Eloise scoffed, âMother insisted on doubling the initial order âjust to be safeâ. Sheâll be out in a moment.âÂ
âPerhaps I should go inside to accompany herââ
âAnd leave your unwed sister unchaperoned in this part of town?â Eloise pressed a hand to her brotherâs chest, stopping him dead in his tracks. His eyes danced quickly to the street in the distance, clearly not paying any attention to his sister. âBenedict?â
âHm?â He glanced down. âAh, maybe we should both go back insideââ
âYouâreâŠâ she pushed on him harder, nearly sending him backwards. âActing strange. Not terribly long ago you wanted nothing to do with this place and now, youâre dying to jump into the building that brought you so much strife?â Eloise removed her hand from him, settling it down by her side as she glanced at him up and down. The blues of his outfit were covered slightly in a white powerânot enough to really notice, but enough to give the appearance of filth. âAnd youâre covered in⊠flour?â
âI donât wish to share every moment of my day with you, dear Sister,â Benedict said simply, sighing contently. âMy business is my business.â
âBusiness,â Eloise parroted. âSure.â
Violet Bridgerton had finished the order quickly, mumbling something about the higher prices this time of yearâshe had gotten a good deal regardless. Benedict was hardly listening, for he was already planning his next trip to this very bakery, hoping to meet the girl in flour once more.Â
He never did get the chance, to go back to town. His studies took up most of his free time, any other moment he had was spent with his ever-growing family. Just recently, his sister Daphne brought over her newest additionâanother daughter named Belindaâwho happened to be yet another spitting image of her mother. Benedict had a theory that every new Bridgerton baby will simply just inherit all the Bridgerton features, so far he had been proven correct.Â
âDamn,â Benedict mumbled, violently dabbing a paint brush into his water cup, the colors swirling from the end.
He had been in his studio for the last few hours, mixing endless pigments and oils together, trying to concoct the color in his mindâs eye. It was impossible, he theorized, to create the exact shades and hues of her eyes. It was the most striking thing he remembered about her appearanceâsave for the copious amount of white flour caking her formâand Benedict Bridgerton had come to the conclusion that her eyes were simply forged by God Himself, a color not meant for mortal recreation.
âWhy can I notâŠâ He sighed, slumping back in his stool, paintbrush nearly hitting his trousers. âThis is impossible.â
The grand clock beside the door chimed out. It was nearly time to get ready for Anthony and Kateâs ballâan occasion he was most dreading, save for enjoying the few pastries that came from the quaint bakery down in town. Reluctantly, he began to pry himself from his studio and made his way to the washroom, preparing to soak away any remnants of her.
âMother,â (Y/N) chimed out, tying the serving apron to her waist, âI donât see the reason for my attendance this evening. Surely the hosts of the event will have their own serving staff?â
â(Y/N),â her mother exasperated, throwing a towel down. âYour brothers are ill and bedridden and have been the last few days. Your father and I are counting on you to help fulfill the order, my back isnât what it used to be, if you recall.â Â
The girl sighed, her eyes rolling right up to the cracking ceiling. âHow funny, it seems your back flares up nearly in time for deliveries to be made,â the girl mumbled.
âWhat was that?â Her mother turned quickly towards her only daughter. âIâm sure I misheard you.â
âYou must have,â (Y/N) sang. âFor I said Iâm willing to help with the delivery, mother.â
The older woman narrowed her brow. âNever do I hear such sass from the boys⊠Perhaps a bit of manual labor will refocus your priorities.âÂ
âI already agreed,â (Y/N) reiterated. âAs if I had terribly too much of a choiceâŠâ
âNo,â her mother clicked, slapping the a rather large ball of dough that resided on the floured surface. âYou do not. Now come, help your mother roll this out.â
She had gotten ready for the ball in record timeâseeing as how sheâs never gotten ready for one. (Y/N) dug through her motherâs wardrobe, finding an old and somewhat outdated green dress to wear, but it did the trick just fine. It was far nicer than the frocks she had owned anyhow, a light embroidery laced the edges and was sure to be run over by her fingertips endlessly throughout the evening. Â
âThe carriage is here!â Her father couldnât have shouted louder throughout the small flat. Their home resided above the bakery, a quaint little thing with only two bedroomsâ(Y/N) had the pleasure of sleeping in a rather over-glorified closet. If she reached her arms out, sheâd be able to touch two of the walls easily, but like everything in her life, she made do. Unexpected child? Unexpected room.Â
âIâll be right there,â (Y/N) said, tying the now-cleaned apron around her waist, checking herself in the reflection of her water pitcher. âDamned hair,â her fingers moved to tuck a loose ringlet back into positionâshe had spent the better part of the evening trying to style it.Â
âWe need to load the carriage and make way to Bridgerton House,â her father repeated, smoothing his formalwear out. He hardly had the chance to wear it, seeing as situations like this happen only once in a while. âWe must make a good impression, perhaps weâll find more business this evening.â
âThatâll be a blessing,â her mother agreed, heading down the stairs to the bakery. âWe could always use more business and the dowager viscountess is well liked around the ton, surely sheâll have pleasant things to say about our work.â
âI thought we let the pastries âspeak for themselvesâ,â (Y/N) chimed in, carefully picking up a parcel. Her parents simply glared at her, allowing their daughter to silently move along with the loading process.Â
The silence continued throughout the lengthy ride to Bridgerton Houseâthe bakers not uttering a word until disembarking to unload all of the sweets. True to her original thought, the Bridgertons had their staff do the bulk of the unloading, carrying each parcel and box into the grand room that was to be the heart of the ball, all that was left to move was the elegant cake specially ordered by the dowager viscountess.
âDo you need a hand?â
âOh, that would beââ (Y/N) turned around to the mysterious voice, only to find the same Bridgerton boy from earlier in the week standing behind her. âIâMr. Bridgerton, Iâm sure I can find my father to assist, you really donât need toââ
âI insist,â Benedict held up his hand, effectively cutting her off. âI shouldnât allow a lady to carry such a thing on her own, it would be most improper.â
âIâm certainly no lady,â she scoffed, readjusting her apron. âIâm not a part of your âseasonâ or whatever it is you lot do during the spring and summer months.â
Benedict barked out a laugh. âDebuted into the Marriage Mart or not, youâre still a lady and I am ever the gentleman, so please, indulge me.â
A blinding heat flushed across her cheeksâshe was sure it was visible from down the street. (Y/N) stepped to the side to allow Benedict to grab ahold of one side of the tray, her hands curling around the other. âThank you⊠for your help.â
âItâs no bother,â Benedict said truthfully. âIâve been practically bored out of my skull all afternoon, this is truly the highlight of my evening.â
âHelping me carry a cake?â She asked, turning a corner carefully.
âSeeing you again,â he hummed unabashedly, noting the way her grip stiffened. âThough I must say, I think I prefer you without the flour.â
âHow do you know that girl was me? I was covered head to toe.â
âYour eyes,â Benedict said simply. âTheyâre the most expressive and exquisite eyes Iâve had the pleasure of viewing.â
Benedict Bridgerton. The man who made her speechless.
âThat, and I made a bold assumption when I saw you and the pastries arrive this evening.â He laughed lightly, afraid to drop the masterpiece. âI assumed correctly, no?â
âYou,â (Y/N) tried to allow her cheeks to cool before continuing.âWould be correct. Very wise you are, Mr. Bridgerton.â
âBenedict.â
âBenedict,â she repeated softly, twisting herself to set the cake down on the table. âMy apologies.â
The ballroom was grandâmuch nicer than any place sheâd dream of residing inâdelicate decorations hung from the sconces, flowers covered nearly every inch of the free space. It was, in every meaning, elegant. âThis is⊠where you live?â
âAh,â Benedict rubbed the back of his neck. âMy brother has been kind to allow me to stay here since he married, seeing as I only have my own property in the country. But yes, this is one of the homes I grew up in.â
âOne of the homes,â she repeated back to him. âAnd here I thought I was spoiled with my broom closet.â
He turned a vibrant shade of red. âOh! I didn't mean toââ
Her laughter filled the ballroom, the lightness practically lifting Benedict upwards. âI was merely teasing. Iâm well aware of your status and wealth, Mr. BridgertonââÂ
âBenedict.â
âAh! Sorry,â (Y/N) felt the twinge of shame hit her chest, it was small but enough to keep her in line to avoid making the mistake again. âI meant it in jest.â
âFunny girl,â Benedict clicked, waving his finger lightly. âYouâve got quite a sense of humor.â
âGrowing up with nothing more than sacks of flour and parcels of sugar allows one to get creative with her jokes,â she explained carefully, treading lightly as to not make it sound completely miserable. âThough, I think they were a better audience anyhowâŠâ
âYou wound me,â a hand grabbed his heart, knees buckling towards the ground. âOh how the lady wounds me.â
âI believe I told you, Benedict, I certainly am no lady.â
âWell, the lady has neglected to give me her name,â he peeked up from the floorâhaving found quite a cozy position. âSo how else should I address such a fair maiden?â
âFair maiden,â she scoffed playfully, voice barely above a whisper. âCertainly am nothing close to a maiden⊠but, if you must know,â she paused, âmy name is (Y/N), (Y/N) (Y/L/N).â
â(Y/N)âŠâ Benedict repeated it, mostly to himself. He rose from the floor, eyes not leaving her own. âWhat a beautiful name.â
âIâthank you. I suppose you should give my parents such a compliment, though. I am simply the recipient of such a gift.â
âWell, when I ask your parents for permission to court their daughter, Iâll pass the message along.â
She froze.Â
âAh, what was that?â
âI hate to be so bold,â Benedict sighed, shoving a hand into his pocket. âBut I feel the need to let you know of my intentionsâmy interest in you.â
âOh you must be mistaken,â (Y/N) shook her head. âYouâd want nothing to do with a girl like me. Surely there are other women in the ton who strike your fancy?â
âNope,â he said simply. âNot a one. You, on the other hand, with your striking eyes and seemingly endless beauty, piqued my interest. If I may be honest, I havenât stopped thinking about our encounter in the alleyâitâs been on the forefront of my mind for days.â
She blinked, the gears in her head trying to keep up with the words Benedict was speaking. âBut I am not from your world, Benedict. Even if I was interested in pursuing a courtshipââ
âAre you not?â His eyes struck wide open. âIâm quite the catch, you see. Well-bred, scholarly and, if I might say so myself, Iâm quite the talented artist. Easy on the eyes, too.â
âBenedict.â He stopped and looked at the woman. She was practically glowing in the candlelight. âWhile Iâm not saying Iâm⊠not interested, I canât help but feel like you are infatuated with the idea of me and not⊠me.â
âHow do you mean?â
She laughed humorlessly. âYou donât know me, truly. My likes, dislikes, how I take my tea, what weather I fancyââ
âSee,â Benedict grabbed her hand, âI wish to know those things. Is that not the purpose of a courtship?â
âI am not from your world, Benedict. I have priorities, a duty to my family and our businessâI canât spend a moment thinking of the frivolity of a courtship with a man of your status.â
âBut if I were, say, the butcherâs son it would be different?â
âYes,â she removed her hand from his. âOf course it would be. Iâm surprised you havenât thought this through.â
âI have been thinking it through since weâve met,â Benedict nearly spat, feeling anger bubble up in his chest. âI am not the type of man who wishes to court just anyone, you know.â
âSo you wish to court me just because you can? Because how ever could I say no?â
âIâof course not!â
âWeâre perfect strangers who shared a momentâalbeit an endearing oneâout in the middle of an alley. We both cleaned up and went about our lives,â she shook her head. âNothing cosmic or magical about it.â
âI did not expect you to be so against the idea, unless⊠thereâs another man of your affections?â
She groaned, pinching her nose. âNo. No other man. Has a woman ever said no to you before, Mr. Bridgerton?â
He paused, clearly taken aback.
âWell,â she smoothed the tablecloth, the wrinkle in the bottom corner was annoying her, âlet me be the first, then. No, I am not interested in a courtship, nor do I think I have any interest in a courtshipâwith you or anyoneâso do not take it terribly too personally.âÂ
âNever? Donât you plan to have a family of your own?â
âI already have a family,â she said simply. âI have no time for foolish ideas of having an adoring husband, three beautiful babies and a peaceful life out in the country.â
âThat seems awfully specificââ
âNo matter,â she waved. âThank you for your interest, Mr. Bridgerton, I am flattered, truly.â
She walked away, hoping to hide in the carriage the rest of the night. Was she a fool? To turn down a courtship from such a sophisticated and notable man of the ton?
Benedict seemed to think so. True to her comment, he couldnât recall a time in which a woman had rejected his advancesânever in the name of a courtship, this would be his firstâso to watch her walk away stung deeply, like a thorn to his heart. He was genuinely interested in the girl, he knew it. He just needed to prove it to her.
Days had passed since the Bridgerton ball and (Y/N) had successfully faked a stomach ache and ârestedâ in the carriage until the night was over and done with. She was busy in the kitchen, working hard on a batch of fresh loaves for the storefront. Flour dusted her apronâthe humor not lost on herâas she thought more and more about Benedictâs proposal.Â
The bell to the shop rang out, her brotherâs voice gave a muffled greeting, nothing out of the ordinary for a regular day at the bakery. It was calming, to work with the dough, taking virtually nothing and creating something delicious was soothing to her soul. She continued to knead the dough, working it like clay against her palms before the door to the back swung wide open.
â(Y/N), I do believe you have a visitor,â Harry, her second eldest brother smirked. He had finally recovered enough to help around the shop again, much to their motherâs delight. âOne of the gentlemen variety, if you must know.â Â
She stopped dead in her tracks.
âDid he give you a name?â
âOnly asked for you,â Harry shrugged. âI figured you mustâve been expecting him,â he walked closer to her, taking over the kneading, âbrought you flowers and looks rather fancy.â
She wiped her hands off on the already soiled apron, clapping her hands once for good measure. âDonât over-work those, Iâll shove your face into the oven.â
Harryâs laugh rang out through the kitchen as she braved the door to the store. She knew it was inevitable, to expect him to come and try to woo her again, though she wasnât expecting it so soon. The door felt rough against her palms, swinging wide open to the storefront. Sure enough, a one Benedict Bridgerton was standing by the counter, eyeing the various loaves on display.Â
âAh, Miss. (Y/L/N),â Benedict said, almost bowing. âIâm delighted you could join me.â
âMr. Bridgerton,â (Y/N) smiled sickeningly sweet, forced beyond all measure. âWhat a⊠surprise.â
âA wonderful one, I presume?â He jested. Her eyes found the colorful bouquet quickly, she was trying her hardest to not make eye contact. It was ornateâfancy, just like her brother saidâdecked out in a healthy mix of wild blooms and expensive looking flowers. âAh! My apologies, these are for you,â Benedict said, lifting the bouquet across the counter.Â
She reluctantly took them, cradling the bunch as if it were a newborn babe. âThank you, Mr. Bridgerton.â
He swallowed thickly at the formality of his name, but bit his tongue. âI must say, you looked exquisite at the ball, but I think your natural element suits you more favorably, why, youâre practically glowing.â Benedict pointed to her floured apron and messy frock, having been in the kitchen all morning. âLess flour than the first time.â
Her grip tightened around the bouquet. âIs there anything I can help you with? Perhaps another order for your mother?â
The man shook his head, laughing lightly. âNo, no order. I just wished to see you.â The bluntness of his answer nearly shocked her, but the effect wore quickly.
âPerhaps I wished the opposite?â
âOh, my dear,â Benedict practically mewled. âIf that were true, you wouldnât have come out here in the first place, now would you?â
Like a gaping trout, she had no reply. Perhaps he was right. She didnât have to come out to the front of the store, the gnawing curiosity got the better of her and practically pulled her through that door.Â
âIf you are here to try to get me to change my mindââ
âI wish to spend the afternoon with you.â
She blinked.
âJust one afternoon, allow me to try and prove how serious I am about courting you,â Benedict said earnestly. âAfter that, if you are still of the same mind, I will never bother you again. You have my word.â
Hesitantly, she lowered the bouquet, her shoulders slumping. She was thinking so hard about his offer, Benedict swore he could see steam rising from her ears. âI⊠cannot just leave the bakery, itâs my familyâs livelihoodââ
âIâll buy the lot,â Benedict said, pressing a handful of coins onto the counter top. âSell me whatever it is you make in a dayâa small price to pay for a moment of your time.â
âYou cannot simply throw your money at things and expect it to always work out for you, Mr. Bridgerton,â she said sternly, eyeing the sack of coins longingly. She would be kidding herself if the offer didnât sound appealing. âI am no woman on the corner, you cannot buy my time.â
âThen consider it a tip,â Benedict hummed, pushing the bag closer to her. âFor your excellent service at the Bridgerton ball. Nothing nefarious, nothing expected of you. Just a man buying some bread.â
âLoads of bread,â (Y/N) mumbled, quickly calculating how many loaves he truly was willing to walk out with. The amount of money was unclear, but if she had to wager, he practically bought out the whole storefront. Her parents would be thrilledâthey could even take a rare day off, just because their daughter spent the afternoon with a practical stranger. âFine. One afternoon.â
The glee that washed across his body did not go unnoticed, he practically lit up the room with his joy.
âYou wonât regret this,â he said seriously. âTrust that my intentions are pure andââ
ââhonest and true,â she droned, finishing his thought. âYes, yes, I understand.â
Benedict nodded. âRight. Well, shall we?â
âWill you allow me a moment to change? I do not think you wish to spend your day with a girl caked in flour.â
âFunny enough, I wouldnât have it any other way,â he grinned. She was unamused. âBut, if you insist.â
It didnât take long for her to clean up, a change in her frock and a readjustment to her hair was all that was needed. She found herself staring in her mirror a bit longer than usual, taking in her features. Could he really be interested in her? He seemed so taken by her looks when she herself considered them⊠so plain. She shook her head, effectively jumping out of her haze and proceeded to head back downstairs to meet her suitor for the afternoon.Â
âPerhaps you were right,â Benedict said softly. âThis may be your best look to date.â
A heat warmed her cheeks and it wasnât the summer sun. âFlattery will get you nowhere, Mr. BridgertonââÂ
âAh!â Benedict waved a finger. âIf we are to spend the afternoon together, I insist you call me by my given name.â
Her lips pressed together in protest. âIf you insistââ
âOh and I do, my darling,â Benedict nearly sang.
âBenedict,â she corrected. âWhat sorts of plans do you have for this afternoon? Surely you did not produce such a grand gesture only to leave our day up to chance.â
âI am feeling quite parched,â Benedict said, almost ignoring her comment. âCare for a spot of tea?â In their walk down the street, he had managed to stop right in front of a quaint little tea shop. She hardly noticed.
âAnd if I do not care for tea?â
âI hear they have excellent scones and biscuits,â Benedict countered. âSurely not sweeter than you, but delicious all the same.â
âSweeter than my scones, you mean?â
Benedict raised a brow, puckering his lips lightly. She heard him correctly the first time. âSo. Tea?â
They sat at a small table near the back of the shop, a hot pot of herbal tea sat between them. It looked entirely domestic, a pot of tea shared between lovers, any onlooker could have deduced as much.
âPass the honey?â (Y/N) pointed to the small jar next to Benedictâs hand. He nodded and pushed it closer to her.
âYou take your tea with honey?â He probed.
âHerbal tea, yes,â she confirmed, stirring a spoonful into her cup. âIf it is black tea, a healthy amount of milk is entirely welcomed in my drink, no sugar.â
âInteresting,â Benedict said, watching her intently stir the honey until it dissolved into the hot liquid. âI prefer plain black tea myself, though occasionally my brother Colin will bring exquisite teas from his travels across the seas.â
âAnd Colin is which brother?â The question slipped out quickly, she hardly noticed she had asked.
âOne of my two younger brothers,â Benedict smiled gently. âNot much younger than I, but I do have a few years on him, not as many as I have on Gregory, of course. Heâs practically the babe of the familyâsave for sweet Hyacinth.â
âEight childrenâŠâ She thought aloud. âWere your parents working towards a record number?â
âI always jest that they wished to complete the entire alphabet,â Benedict mused. âBut, alas, twenty six seems a bit much.â He took a sip of his tea, enjoying the lingering aroma. âSo, you know there are eight of us?â
âEveryone knows your family,â she said simply. âDo not flatter yourself.â
âOf course,â he hummed into his cup, a smile brewing from his lips. âYou have siblings, yes? I believe I met your brother earlier.â
âTwo older brothers,â (Y/N) groaned lightly. âJack and Harry, the latter being the one you met. They are⊠oh how do I put this? Exceptionally irritating.â
Benedict laughed into his drink. âSounds quite a lot like my siblings.â
âMy parents expect Jack to take over the bakery,â she explained quietly, her voice lowering. âBut he has no desire to bake whatsoever. He can hardly make a sponge cake.â
âAnd a sponge cake isâŠ?â
âOne of the most basic cake recipes a baker can learn,â she continued. âI usually end up being the one who pulls the slack Jack creates.â
âAnd Harry?â
âWhen he isnât galavanting across town with the ladies of the night, he is holed up in his room doing Lord knows what. Certainly nothing that helps the family business.â
âYou care a lot about your family and the business,â Benedict said, stating what is clearly the obvious. âSurely your parents see it too?â
âOh no,â she shook her head wildly. âThat is the most asinine part of the ordeal! They simply do not see me as an asset to the bakeryâsomething that should rightfully be mine should the time come.â She sighed, throwing her head into her hands. âBut, I am expected to keep my head down and decorate cakes like a good girl.â
âYou say that as if you are their pet,â Benedict scoffed lightly. âDo they truly expect such obedience from you?â
âI wasnât wanted,â she said simply. âMy parents merely wanted a son to take over the businessâJack, heâs the oldest. Good for nothing, as it turns out. Harry was to have an extra set of hands around the bakery, but now heâs their prodigal child. Me? I was shacked with an over glorified closet for a room because there truly was no space for me.â She sniffled. âAt least they got a decorator out of it.â
Benedict tentatively put his hand on her shoulder, giving her a reassuring squeeze. âYouâre more than a decorator. Surely your parents see that too?â
âTheyâll see some use of me when I get home,â she said into her cup. âSeeing as you bought out our store just to spend a measly few hours with me. Iâm sure that in of itself is worth having an accidental daughter.â
Benedict all but scoffed at this. âYou cannot be serious.â
âNot everyone comes from loving families that wish to do nothing more than pop out babies left and right,â (Y/N) deadpanned, placing her cup back on the table. âIf it were truly up to my parents, they wouldâve stopped after Jack. But, much like the society you come from, an heir and a spare, I suppose.â
âAnd you?â Benedict almost felt afraid to ask.Â
âItâs like you said,â she finished her cup of tea. âI am simply a pet.â
Benedict was never one for fights, but he suddenly had the urge to put his fist through a handful of faces in that moment. âThatâs awful.â It was all he could say.Â
âThatâs life,â she shrugged, picking up a biscuit and examining it closely. Her nose scrunched. âIf you were trying to gain my favor, perhaps you shouldâve taken me somewhere with better biscuits. Itâs insulting to a baker to see such poorly made ones, especially in a place like this.â
He knew she was trying to change the subject. âI shall do better next time.â
âYes, I suppose youââ she stopped. âThat was a rotten trick and you know it.â
âI am certainly no magician, (Y/N),â Benedict finished his tea, hiding the most devilish of smiles from behind the cup. âBut seeing as weâre finished with our pot, perhaps we can take a turn about the park?â
âYouâd risk public outcry and a scandal for being seen with a commoner in the park?â (Y/N) asked, pulling herself from her seat. âWhat would Lady Whistledown say?â
âYou know of Lady Whistledown?â
âEveryone knows of Lady Whistledown,â she scoffs. âI may not have the pleasure to afford her column every time she publishes, but occasionally our regulars will leave their pamphlet for me once theyâre finished.â
âOnly read the good bits, I take it?â
âAs much as I donât understand the world you come from, Benedict, reading Whistledown helps me fill the gaps I am so obviously lacking. Truly, even if I did grow up in your society, I doubt Iâd be able to understand much more than I do now anyway.â
âI reckon youâre right,â Benedict said, a laugh escaping through his nose. âIâm not one for society anywayânever cared much for it.â
âSurely news of this would cause a scandal, though?â
âNews that I am simply walking in the park with a friend? Oh how the newsboys will have trouble selling that story,â Benedict mused, leaning down towards the lady. âPerhaps if we were seen doing something less proper, I suppose. Do you wish to be doing something less proper, (Y/N)?â
She didnât dignify his question with a response, though, the rouge on her cheeks was answer enough.
It only took a handful of minutes to walk to the park, the tea shop was so close already. How convenient.
The other ladies in the park, the ones of a more genteel breeding, they were dressed finer than anything (Y/N) could have put on. She felt out of place. She usually did, of course, but something about her outdated frock in contrast to how striking Benedict looked and dressed? It felt rather foolish.Â
Perhaps it was the notoriety of the Bridgerton walking beside her, or the self consciousness of being underdressed enough to catch the eyes of anyone walking past, but it felt like she was a spectacleâsomething in a museum or on display. She was holding bright light, nearly shouting at everyone that she was not enough, not worthy to be in this park, let alone with this man.
âI am tired of walking,â (Y/N) said suddenly.Â
âWe have only just begun,â he laughed. âBut if you require a respiteââ
âLetâs sit,â (Y/N) said just as quickly, practically running to the edge of the pond. Perfectly out of sight to everyone.
âHow secluded,â Benedict mused. âI daresay, I never thought youâd be so agreeableââ
âHush,â (Y/N) admonished, holding a finger up. âI am simply in need of a breakâaway from prying eyes.â
Benedict nodded, not daring to pry further. He watched her slump to the ground, her dress skirt billowing around her like a cloud before settling to the gravity. He continued to stand. âI rather like this park.â
âA park is a park.â
âHave you been before?â
âHere?â She shook her head. âObviously not.â
âMy family, we would come to London during the social season,â Benedict explained. âOur usual residence is out in Kentâanyhow, my father had this spectacular notion to come to the park every week as a family. Looking back, it was probably to save face and show a united Bridgerton front.â
She looked up at Benedict, who was currently plucking a few leaves off of the low hanging branches of the tree. âSounds wise.â
âHe was the wisest,â Benedict agreed. âKeeping the ever-growing number of Bridgerton children entertained became a sport. Anthony, Colin and I were always squabbling, drove my mother rightfully insane, so, my father had a bright idea.â
âPaste your lips together?â She offered.Â
Benedict knelt down, close to the edge of the water. âNo, but I do not doubt that idea crossed their minds,â he laughed, bringing the leaves in his hands to view, âmy father suggested racing.â
âHorse racing?â
He shook his head. âWeâd each pick a leaf and follow it to the other edge of the pondâkept us entertained for hours, running back and forth to reset our leaves and chase them down.â
âSmart man,â she hummed, genuinely impressed by the late viscountâs cleverness.
âSo, pick your contender,â Benedict said softly, displaying the spare leaves like cards in a deck.Â
âYou are serious?â
âDead serious, Iâm afraid,â Benedict clicked, pushing his hand a bit closer to her. âCome on, humor me.â
She looked down at the leaves and back up at Benedict, his blue eyes rivaling the color of the pond. Taking an interest in the middle leafâit was the longest and skinniestâshe plucked it from his fingers. âThis one.â
âExcellent choice,â Benedict said cheerily, dropping the other leaves. âI am more inclined to a smaller oneâseems they move faster down the shore.â
âSize isnât everything, Mr. Bridgerton,â (Y/N) crossed her arms, resting them on her knees. She would never dare to admit it out loud, but she was having a bit of fun.
âAh, perhaps not,â Benedict jested with her, her jab not even shocking him in the slightest. âBut, I reckon it will be a close match regardless.â
After insuring that the lovely lady in his company was watching his movements closely, he set the leaves down on the surface of the water. âFinish line is by that tree over there,â he pointed, finally letting go with his other hand.
âMay the best leaf win,â she giggled. Giggled? Good Lord. A crooked grin cracked on his face, focused too intently at the company rather than the match at hand. âAre you not going to chase them?â
âAnd leave you?â He scoffed. âPerish the thought.â
âI just thought,â her gaze was caught on the leaves, still floating down the edge of the pondâslower than she anticipated, âwell, I suppose I wanted to get the whole picture of your family tradition.â
âShall I run along the coast, then?â Benedict asked playfully, rising back to his feet, thumb pushed towards the water.Â
âOnly to humor me,â she shrugged, not even fighting the smile on her face.Â
âWell, in that case,â Benedict began to remove his jacket, throwing it beside her. With a light jog he caught up to the leaves, they hadnât gone very far anyway, perhaps if it were a windier day heâd have a faster time to keep up with. âYou are in the lead!â He called out.Â
âBrilliant!â Her hands were clasped around her mouth, a cone to help amplify her shout. His smile was like the sun, warm and invitingâshe wished she could spend the day in such a warmth. Benedict practically jumped for joy when the leaves made it to the final stretch, crossing to the rocks on the shore. Nearly falling into the water, he managed to scoop the leaves up and jog back to the woman in the grass. âWell?â
âWell, what?â He asked, nearly out of breath, smile still pulling his lips upward.Â
âThe winner?â
âAh,â he fell to the ground, sitting comfortably next to the bakerâs daughter, pocketing the leaves. âA secret.â
âSo you lost?â
âOh, I assure you, if you won I would be celebrating you until the end of our time together,â Benedict sang. âHoweverâŠâ
âI lost?â She scoffed.Â
âA gentleman is humble in his successes,â he explained carefully. âWe could go again?â
âNo,â she said, humor in her voice. âI think that was more than enough excitement for one afternoon.â
âFor once, we agree,â he said. âMay IâŠ? Could I ask you a question?â
âIf you are proposing marriage, I am afraid Iâll have to declineââ
âNo, no,â he laughed heartily. âNothing of that sort.â
âI suppose I could find it in myself to answer a different question, then.â
âYou were cold to me this morning,â Benedict noted, twirling a blade of grass between his fingers. âBut not on the day we met. What changed?â
She sighed, pulling her knees to her chest, gaze locked out on the now setting sun. âI⊠am not entirely sure.â
âSurely it was not the leavesââ
âThe leaves may have helped,â she admitted. âHumanized you, in a way.â
âWas I inhuman before?â
âNaturally,â she retorted. âI mean, is it not obvious?â
âYou were protecting your feelings,â Benedict finally realized. âAll this time. You did not wish to be hurtâtruly afraid I was merely stringing you along as an elaborate prank or ruse? Is that right?â
âHow could someone like you ever have an interest in a pauper like me? The bakerâs daughter and the son of a viscount?â Tears dotted her eyes, threatening to fall. How she came so close to crying was beyond her. âIt seems implausible.â
Benedict dropped the grass, fully looking at the lady beside him. She had made herself nearly as small as she felt. He had hit the nail on the head. A gust of wind blew by, bringing leaves down from the tree above.Â
âI do not think less of you because of whose daughter you are,â Benedict said softly, removing a stray leaf from her hair. His fingers guided her head towards him, begging for her to look his way. âI care only about you. Getting to know you. Frankly, your father seems like a mostly alright man, but I do not wish to know him the way I wish to know you.â
âYou may wish for that,â she sniffled. âBut what would the rest of your world think? You, trying to court a woman below your statusââ
âThe only people who should be caring so deeply about my potential courtship are my intended and me,â Benedict said sharply. âThe rest of the ton can frankly kiss my rear end.â
This raised a laugh out of her. It was bubbly and pure, almost like the one of a child. âYou truly donât care what people think about you?â
âNo,â he shook his head. âI do not.â
âHow freeing that must be,â she said.Â
âBeing the second son has its perks,â Benedict looked at her, really looked at her. âNo one expects me to be proper all the time. I am given the freedomâfinancially and otherwiseâto do as I please. I do not have to worry about inheriting a title, siring heirs, that is my brotherâs responsibility.â
âWhy me?â
His head quirked. âI do not understand?â
âYou could court any girl of the ton,â she said. âAnd I am sure more than half of them would never turn down a chance to be courted by a Bridgertonââ
âThey wished for the title,â Benedict sighed. âTo be Viscountess Bridgerton, to marry my older brother and have the notoriety. That ship has already sailed, I'm afraid. You are kind in thinking that many women would be after me though.â
âYou are not ugly,â she listed, âyou have a great humor about you, a pleasant demeanor and a kindness in your eyes. The women of the ton must be foolish, then.â
âPerhaps the foolish one is you?â
âI beg your pardon?â
âYou truly think those things about me?â He asked, awaiting a response. Her jaw was slack, clearly not about to give him any sort of confirmation to his question. âI believe your words, I do. But perhaps you should look at yourself with such eyes?â
âI-I donât understandââ
âOur class differences aside,â Benedict said, as if it was easy to just ignore that, âwhile I was taken by your beauty at firstâyour eyes are something the Gods themselves forged in the fires, stars rivaling their shineâit was your continuous personality that kept my attention. Granted, it helped you were once covered head-to-toe in flour, it really brought out your features.â
Her cheeks flared at the recollection of their first meeting. âIt was not my finest moment.â
âAnd you were vulnerable all the same,â he continued. âYou cared not for who I was, yet, you showed an interest in me anyway. You may not agree with that statement, but you and I know it to be true in some shape or form. The only thing that holds you back is this notion on our classesââ
âPerhaps I am interested in you,â (Y/N) cut him off. âPerhaps I wish to be courted by you, attend balls and dress in pretty gowns, drinking expensive drinks and whispering sweet nothings. But that is all that it isâa wish. I know my place in this world, it is a right shame you have such a fantasy about yours.â
â(Y/N)âŠâ
âNo,â she stood up, brushing the blades of grass and leaves off of her skirt. âI hoped that you would understand, Benedict. I agreed to this afternoon because it felt like I had no choice in the matterâyou practically bought my time, after all. What I did not expect,â she hiccuped, âI did not expect that I would enjoy such an afternoon.â
âYou enjoyed yourself,â Benedict rose to his feet, desperate to match her gaze head on. âWhy can you not allow yourself to have that joy? Allow your heart to follow its call?â
âI do not have such liberties to listen to my heart,â (Y/N) said softly. âI must use my head for every choice I make. An afternoon with you allowed my family to have enough money to make it through the end of the season without going hungryââ
âAnd an afternoon with me has brought such happiness to fill your soul for much longerââ
âHappiness has little importance,â she scoffed. âI would rather see my family healthy and surviving than even think about a notion like happiness or joy.â
âYou have said yourself that your family treats you like a pet,â Benedict took a deep breath, trying to regain his composure. He neednât explode in the park. âWhy do you care so much about them if they care so little for you?â
âBecause it is all that I know!â The candle had finally reached its end, burning out with a sizzle. âAll I have ever known is my life in the bakery, rising early to make the dough, peddling samples to those walking by and hopingâprayingâthat they step in our store and purchase something. Because a sale of a few loaves of bread or cakes meant we could afford to buy vegetables for a soup, something to eat with our days old bread.â
âIf you were with me, you wouldnât ever need to think about things like that again,â Benedict said, his voice wavering on a whisper. âI could support you, support your family.â
âAnd that is precisely why I do not wish to continue this,â she raised her finger. âI do not need an affluent man to come and save meââ
âBut I could helpââ
âI do not need your help!â
âYou obviously do!â
She took a step back, the tears from before finally reappearing in her eyes. âO-obviously? Because I am of a lower class you believe, in that giant and empty head of yours, that you can simply win my favor by saving me? Offering riches and experiences that I should be grateful and thanking every God that will listen that you are even willing to give me?â
âYou know that is not what I meantââÂ
âYou believe that because you are who you are, and I am who I am, that I couldnât possibly say no to you,â her gaze flicked with anger, a fire looming. âWhile the ladies of the ton have their choices, I do not, so it makes it easy for you to pine over someone who simply has no choice in the matter.â
âNoâ(Y/N)ââ Â
âThis afternoon has been lovely,â (Y/N) spat, looking to the skylineâthe sun had finally set, âbut I am afraid that the afternoon is over. I shall be taking my leave.â
âPlease reconsider,â Benedict begged, willing to try anything to get her to stay. âI wish to know you.â
âA shame, then,â (Y/N) said, turning around. âWishing for something so foolish.â
âHer head is in the clouds,â Jack whispered.
âNo, I reckon her head is in the dough,â Harry mumbled back to his brother.Â
âI can hear you, you know,â (Y/N) ground out, working hard on a rather unruly clump of dough that simply would not cooperate. âAnd if I can hear you, you are close enough to be helping.â
âBut that is so exhausting," Harry groaned, leaning against the countertop. âBesides, how are you ever going to impress your betrothed if you do not keep such toned arms?â
She threw the dough against the counterâhard. âHe is not my betrothed.â
âBut you wish for him to be, no?â Jack giggled, playing with a few burnt bunsâa mishap of his own creation.
âI say, Sister,â Harry said. âWhy do you not pursue that Bridgerton? He clearly is interested in you, or, have you forgotten all of the flowers he has sent?â
The front of the shop was practically a floristâs dreamâcovering every free inch of counter space with beautiful bouquets. Her mother simply refused to throw out such lovely blooms, even going so far as to fish the first one out of the trash after her daughter made quick work to dispose of it. âHow could I possibly forget about the man who continuously flaunts his wealth to get what he wants?â
âHe wants you, surely that is not lost on you?â
âOf course not,â she continued to knead, a few hairs falling into her face. âBut he is so insistent on getting me to agree to his whims simply becauseââ
âHe has money, (Y/N),â Jack scoffed. âGood money. Christ, you spent half of a day with him a few weeks ago and we were able to finally purchase meat for dinner. Imagine if you married himââ
âSo you want your sister to be married off for your own financial gain?â
âWhat else would you marry for?â Harry laughed. âLove?â
She stopped kneading. âWhy do you not go and try to marry a wealthy lady, then? Hm? Surely a woman of genteel breeding would be much taken by the idea of a rugged bakerââ
âThat Bridgerton is already interested,â Harry shrugged. âAt the very least, if you end up with child he would provide enough fundsââ
âFirst you wish to marry me off, now you wish for me to have his bastard?â She couldnât help but laugh, ignoring her hard work on the counter. âWhy can I not make my own choice? I do not wish to be with Mr. Bridgerton, I wish to stay here at the bakery.â
âFucking stupid,â Jack scoffed. âIf I were in your shoes, I would let the gentleman pay for anything my heart desiresâforget about this wretched place and move on with my life.â
âAnd abandon our legacy?â
âYou mean my legacy,â Jack corrected. âI am to inherit the bakery, it is my birthright. You? I suppose I will allow you to continue your grunt work hereââÂ
âWho else will do the baking?â Her voice rang throughout the kitchen. âMother and Father are nearing the end of their career, both becoming too frail to continue with the rigorous task of this place. I am the only oneâthe only competent member of this family who can keep this shit afloat! And you want me to just⊠give that up?â
Jack stood a little straighter. âIt was never your place.â
âHarry is set to inherit the bakery now, you know it. Yet someone had to fill the shoes of the family fuck-up instead, no?âÂ
It was a sharp pain, suddenly and all at once against her cheek. It took her only half a second later to realize what had happened, her other brotherâs face was only a confirmation on the fact.
âJack, what the hell?!â Harry practically screamed. âYou hit her?â
âShe insulted me!â
âYou deserved it,â Harry said, pushing his older brother back. âShe only spoke the truthââ
âSo I am allowed to be walked over by my baby sister?â Jack scoffed, pushing Harry back. âA woman? No fucking chance, mate.â
Her hand had covered her cheek, already feeling warm to the touch. Everything was too much, too loud, too bright. She had to get out of there, had to forget all about the dough on the counter, forgetting all about the brother who had just smacked her silly. The back door wasnât lockedâno surprise as Jack was the last one to use itâmaking it easy for her to push into the alleyway and into the rain.Â
Rain.Â
Pelting like bullets, the wet drenched her clothing in a mere instant, making it harder to escape. Where had she planned to run anyway? She had nowhere to go, her entire world was contained to the four walls of the bakery, never daring to explore the rest of it, not when her world was already so encompassing, so inviting.Â
In theory, anyway, it seemed.
So, she ran. A mix of running and walking, she kept moving forward. By the time she left her part of town, she knew her brothers would not bother coming for her. The rain alone was a deterrent, even Harry, the one who loved her more, wouldnât dare to brave the elements just to reel his sisterâs whims in.Â
A splotch of purple entered her vision. How long had she been moving? Did she even expect to come here? Did her subconscious send her in this direction for a reason?
She knocked on the bright door before she could find out.
âGood evening, maâam,â a butter said politely. âWhat business do you have?â
âI am here to call upon Benedict Bridgerton.â
His quill had soaked the parchment below with ink, having left the tip upon it for far too long. He had been lost in thought, contemplative, especially the last few weeks. Benedict knew he had hurt her, had insulted her very being, yet he still tried. Every other day heâd send a fresh bouquet to the bakery, a new poem attached to the stems. Perhaps she read them? He knew it was more likely that she burned them, in the ovens or otherwise.Â
At the very least, he knew that the blooms were being displayed at the shop. Hope. That is what it had given him.
âMr. Bridgerton, you have a caller,â a butler knocked, opening his door a crack wider.
âA caller? In this weather?â
âShe seemed rather insistent,â the butler shrugged. âShe is waiting in the drawing roomâI already sent for tea and towels for the lady.â
âA lady is here to see me?â Benedict quirked his brow.
âA Miss. (Y/L/N),â the butler said. âNo calling card, soaked to the bone and she seemed a bit⊠out of sorts.â
Benedict had already risen from his desk, practically pushing past the staff member to reach the stairs. Missing a step or two, he made it to the drawing room and shoved the door open. In the center of the blue room was (Y/N), dripping onto the wooden floor, shaking like a leaf.
â(Y/N)âŠâÂ
âI-I had nowhere else to go,â she began to explain. âI did not even realize I was here until I knocked on the door. It was foolishââ
âNo,â Benedict shook his head, reaching to take her hand in his own. âIt is quite alright. You are more than welcome to be here.â
His hands were warm, or perhaps she was just that cold, making them feel like a fire. âI am so sorry, Benedict.â
âFor what?â He asked genuinely.Â
âEverything?â She offered. âI-I am not sure of what, exactly, but I feel that I need to apologize.â
âYou neednât apologize for anything,â he said. âNot with me, not ever.â
She looked up at the ceiling, afraid to make contact with his blue stare. âI needed to get away. My brother heâJack hit me.â
Benedict froze, his entire body went rigid. âIâll kill him.â
âI suppose I deserved it,â she shrugged, now looking at the ground. âTalking back to him, assuming things that could never beââÂ
âA man has assaulted you,â Benedict squeezed her hand tighter. âBrother or not, he put his hands on you. You did nothing of the sort to deserve such a thing.â
âI donât think I can go back there,â (Y/N) said softly. âPerhaps this was just the moment that gave me clarity. Opened my eyes, so to speak.â
Benedict took a good look at her face, red and splotchy, whether it was from the smack or the tears, he could not tell. âTea is on the way, I shall request a cold compress for your cheekââ
âI do not wish to impose.â
âYou shall wish for nothing here,â Benedict said quietly, firmly. âYou will stay until the rain lets up, or, you provide me with a suggestible plan for your next steps.â
âI cannot go back,â she finally looked up at Benedict. âAs much as I would like to, I simply cannot.â
âIf you do not want to go back, I will support you. If you want to leave town, the country even, I will support you,â he said seriously. âPlease allow me to support you.â
âI could never ask you for thatââ
âYou are not asking, I am offering,â he clarified.Â
âBenedictâŠâ
The rain seemed to lessen, if the pelting against the window had anything to say about it. The noise had dimmed, not as violent as before. âTo know that you are safe, that you are cared for, that is all I care about.â
So, in the center of the blue Bridgerton drawing room, soaked to the bone and dripping all over the floor, she kissed him. It was a sudden thing, pulling him down towards her lips, the contact much quicker than she had expected. He returned the favor in kind, wrapping his arms around her and holding her tight, kissing her in a way he had yet to truly experience.Â
If his hands were like a fire, his lips were an inferno. Fighting for dominance, it was all encompassing. How had she gone so long without a feeling such as this? The burn was coming from inside, not a superficial one atop her skin as she was quite used to, but this burn, this feeling, she could find herself craving this.Â
âI-I am sorryââ she pulled away.
âNever be sorry,â Benedict shook his head. âNot for that, not ever.â
âI should not have done thatâŠâ
âNo,â he agreed, a chuckle leaving his lips, âbut how exhilarating it felt, regardless.â
His thumb ran lazy circles on her jaw. She leaned into the touch. âI do not know what to do, where to goâŠâ
âBut you cannot stay hereâŠ?â
She smiled sadly. âYou know me scarily well, Benedict.â
He thought for a moment. âSo⊠leave.â
âExcuse me?â
âLeave town, leave the countryââ
âI do not have the means to do such a silly thing.â
âI will pay your way.â
She scoffed, trying to pull out of his embrace. He wouldnât release his grip. âBenedictâŠâ
âI told you, I wish to support you. Emotionally, financially, I want to be there for you,â Benedict said. âEven if we are notâif you do not want to be together romantically, I want to ensure your safety and your health, your well-being. A friend.â
She tried to find the lie in his eyes, in his tone. Coming up empty, she had no excuse to not believe him.Â
âFrance,â he said, as if struck by lightning.
âFrance?â
âI hear only the expert bakers study in FranceâI have no doubts you could go to learn,â he explained. âI could pay for your travel, housing, you name it. Ask for it, and it is yours.â
âI doubt anyone would want to teach a woman, no matter how lovely a thought it might be.â
âI have a cousin,â Benedict explained. âHer and her husband own a cafĂ©âI am quite certain that they would love to hire an expert baker to add to their inventory and menu. You could earn your own income, make your own way. A fresh start.â
âA fresh startâŠâ she repeated. âThat sounds too good to be true.â
âI shall write to her in the morning,â Benedict said, holding her hands again.Â
âAnd youâŠ?â
âI will only come with you if you want me to join,â Benedict said slowly. âI will not trap you. I want your happiness, your freedom.â
She nodded, understanding.
âI think France sounds nice,â she smiled. âWill you write to me?â
âEvery chance I get.â
âEven if you are vexed with me?â
âEspecially if I am vexed with you.â
She kissed his lips again, sweeter and softer than the first time.
âSounds perfect.â
A year. An entire year had passed and she couldnât recall a happier time in her life. The only time that something could have rivaled it was a visit to a tea shop followed by a respite by a pondâin handsome company all the while.Â
They kept correspondence, just like they promised. Every week came a new letter, a new story to be told by the poetic Benedict Bridgerton. She tried to rival his words, explaining every detail about France, about her new life, but something was nagging. She missed him. They had grown close over the correspondence, leaving her heart wanting more. But, she knew when she left for France it was to fulfill her dreams, leaving a foolish notion like love on the back burner.
â(Y/N),â Marie, the Bridgerton cousin, called out behind her. âWe are in need of more buns.â
âI just restocked the buns,â (Y/N) giggled, turning to the blonde. âWhat? Has someone mysteriously bought the lot?â
âOui,â Marie said with a jest, heading into the storage room, âperhaps you should go bring more out?â
âYou are in luck, the last batch just finished resting from the oven,â she said, carrying a tray on her shoulder, âI will bring them out with haste.â
âI am sure he will appreciate it.â
(Y/N) faltered, hand already pressed to the door leading to the front shop. A tingle ran through her spine, her heart picking up to a freeing flutter.Â
Could it be?
âYou know, I would buy your entire stock,â the man hummed, looking thoughtfully into the display case, âbut I fear I would be recreating a rather taxing memory for the both of us.â
âBenedict,â she gasped, nearly dropping her tray.Â
âYou look radiant,â he mused, that wicked grin of his breaking on his face. âMuch like the first time I saw youâcovered in flour.â
âI am in my element,â (Y/N) said sweetly, âjust as you would expect.â She had noticed that Marie and her husband were not in the cafĂ©, the sign flipped to close. âYou planned this.â
âDo you insinuate that I bribed my distant cousin to close her cafĂ© to give you the day off, travel all the way to France, hoping I could spend the day with you?â Benedict scoffed playfully. âYou truly do not know me at all.â
âI do not think Marie would take a bribe,â (Y/N) said slyly, knowing how much of a champion the cousin had been for the baker and viscountâs son to get together.
âShe refused payment,â he admitted, agreeing with her notion. âBut, was ever eager to see you get out of the kitchen and enjoy yourself.â
âYou hadnât written to me in two weeks,â (Y/N) said, walking around the counter. âI was worried.â
âI needed to refrain from our correspondence, I fear I would have let the surprise slip otherwise.â
âSmart man,â she hummed.
âI am known to be smart occasionally,â he shrugged.
âWhat are you doing here?â She finally asked. âN-not that I am not happy to see you, of course, but as you had said, this is a surprise.â
âI came to study art,â Benedict said, a hand in his coat pocket. âI felt that if I truly wanted to learn the craft, I needed to learn from the mastersâmany of their works are housed here in France. I even began to rent a little home in town, finding the need to stay a while.â
âThat is the only reason?â
Benedictâs gaze softened. âOf course it is not the only reason.â
Her heart fluttered again.
âIt is only fair that I try this again, correctly and without the prying eyes of society, this time,â Benedict said, clearing his throat and spinning around.
âCorrectly?â She giggled, watching him twirl to face the door.
âAh, good morning miss!â Benedict said, turning back to face (Y/N). âI must say, you look ever-so-prettyâtell me, do all bakers have a beauty such as your own?â
âI would wager no,â she said, trying to keep serious. âMost of the bakers around here are men.â
âShame. Might I learn your name? It seems only fairâI fear I might just die if I do not know the sweet sound of it.â
â(Y/N),â she sang. âMy name is (Y/N) (Y/L/N).â
âBenedict Bridgerton,â he stretched out his hand, reaching for her own. She allowed him to take it, a soft kiss was placed on the back of her cracked handâa working hand, one that she was proud to have.Â
âYou are very charming, Mr. Bridgerton,â she hummed, looking deeply into his blue eyes. âPleased to make your company.â
âI assure you, I am more pleased to be in yours,â Benedict insisted, kissing her hand again. âTell me, do you have plans this afternoon?â
âIt seems my schedule has cleared up,â she looked to the sign on the door and sighed. âWhy? Do you have any suggestions on how I should spend it?â
âMight we take a turn around the park? A friend of mine has written to me about just how lovely one nearby is, I reckon I would like to see it for myself.â
She smiled brightly at him, as if he held the world in his hands. Instead, he held two leaves between his fingersâbrown and cracked, but clearly treated with such care. They had been the same ones from their time at the park the first go around, she was nearly certain. Why else would he bring dead leaves with him?
"Leaves?"
"You see, my family, we have this tradition of racing with leavesâI would very much like to share it with you. These two in particular seem to be very lucky, thought it would be best to bring them along."
His smile melted her heart, endearing and thoughtful in the same breath. She could get used to a smile like that.
âWell⊠what are we waiting for, Mr. Bridgerton?â
Fr!!
I be saying "he's so silly" while he's killing someone with his bare fucking hand
Hiiiiiii, Could i request an Anthony Bridgerton x wife!reader fic where Anthony married reader who is from a lower class (basically like Theo) and they end up having a fight because reader did something that would be considered out of class or simply wrong while sheâs trying to learn to be a viscountess. Sorry if it didnât make any sense English isnât my first language đđđ
Synopsis: After getting into a fight with your new husband you decide to settle your differences in a 'sporting' fashion, whilst reminding Anthony once and for all just who he married.
A/N: Ohhhhh boy did I enjoy this one. I'm sorry if it feels a little rushed or clunky in places, I may make some more edits at some point. I struggled with the flow of writing so much action but I loved it too much not to post it. So yeah, anxiety be damned else this would join the rest of the unposted drafts I have stashed away. I hope you enjoy it. đ
Warnings: Anthony being a stupid idiot, class references (discrimination), reference to illnessÂ
Masterlist
It was late summer and as the sun beat down on the green lawns of St Jamesâ Palace the lords and ladies below began to wilt. Many a woman held her parasol above her head in a desperate attempt to remain cool, which was hard when you wore petticoats and had nothing to do but sit and watch the men play cricket for hours on end.
Even Her Majesty looked like she was struggling to make it through the afternoon's entertainment, her attendants desperately fanning her where she sat under her canopy. They looked close to melting in their ornate gowns, however they were clearly willing to endure if it allowed them to continue admiring the game - and more importantly, those playing it. It was like waving a bone in a dogâs face as they watched all the eligible young men of the court sprinting about the green, their physique and athletic talents on clear display.
No wonder the Queen had her opera glasses with her, despite her proximity to the field.Â
You almost felt bad for them, watching as the men were subjected to the same treatment as the young ladies were night after night at social functions⊠hence the 'almost'. After all, there was a sense of satisfaction watching them preen and dance about like show ponies on display. That, and the view wasnât exactly a terrible one when your husband was one of those playing.Â
Youâd have endured sitting on that blasted green a thousand times over, baking in the afternoon sun and surrounded by swooning women, just to watch Anthony Bridgerton as he captained his team.Â
Being one of Anthonyâs oldest and dearest friends, his competitive nature was well known to you (for which you had one too many games of Pall Mall at Aubrey Hall to thank), but it seemed to be out in full force today. Youâd simply lost track of how many times he had dashed back and forth, working up somewhat of a sweat as he barked orders at his teammates in a desperate bid to ensure victory. It was no surprise to you that he had subsequently been forced to remove his jacket and roll up his sleeves, exposing his rather sculpted arms to those watching. Â
As you said, there were worse ways to spend an afternoon - and normally, youâd have been smugly lapping it up, however, today you were unable to truly enjoy yourself. Not when all you wanted to do was march over to him, take that cricket bat and give him a good whack or two. Maybe that would knock some sense back into idiotâŠÂ
That was the issue with being in love with your dearest friend: those who knew you best also knew the best ways to hurt you, and Anthonyâs behaviour at dinner the following evening had proven just how true a statement that was.Â
It had all started after the entire family had been summoned to the townhouse for a dinner, to toast you and what had so far been a successful first Season as Viscountess Bridgerton. At first, everything had appeared normal, with the usual laughter, merriment, and ease that one would typically experience at a Bridgerton gathering. It was what had first endeared the family to you, back when you had been but a small child, living at Aubrey Hall as the only daughter of their Stable Master.Â
They had never been anything other than kind to you, inviting you to play with their children, and join them in their daily lessons. They had also bought you gifts on your birthdays, invited you to join them at events, and even paid for the finest doctors when your father had fallen unwell several years ago. It was as if, to the Bridgertons, your family was their family - an attitude that they extended to the all members of the staff that kept their ancestral seat running. It didnât matter if you were Head House Keeper, or the greenest of scullery maids. Everyone was counted and cherished, and the Bridgertons had earned utmost loyalty in return.Â
The rigid rules and divisions of high society didnât appear to exist within the wisteria covered walls, and it had been that way well into your young adult life. In fact, it had been you that had initially rejected Anthony when he first declared his love for you one day, after taking you along with him on one of your many afternoon rides.Â
Youâd been the one to remind him who he was and that society expected him to marry someone they deemed worthy of him and his title - and that wasnât you. You didnât have a penny to your name beyond the small sum youâd saved from helping with the younger Bridgerton children as a governess. You didnât have a title or an estate or anything to bring to a marriage.Â
âExcept the most important thing!â Anthony had pleaded. âLove⊠I love you, and there is no one else for me in this life except you. Life is short, terrifyingly short. Look at my mother and father⊠to be without the person you love most in the world is an agony and I cannot bear it. Please. I canât lose you. I will not spend my life without you, knowing love is within both of our reach but that we were too afraid to grasp it? If I cannot spend my life, no matter how long it may be, with you then I will have no-one. No-one. My brothers can have the title. I donât want it. I only want you.â
Heâd continued to insist that for the following 6 months, even after his family had moved to their London house for the Season. It didnât matter how many beautiful, eligible, wealthy heiresses he was introduced to. He would entertain none of them. He would have none of them. Only you.Â
Itâs what heâd continued to insist until youâd eventually accepted, realising that he was right; Love was the most important thing and you both deserved to have it in your lives, come what may.Â
So, youâd said yes.Â
Youâd become engaged and gradually made your way out into society as the new Viscountess Bridgerton, armed with the support and guidance of the Bridgertons.Â
Which brought you to last night and the dinner that had been organised to mark the end of the most challenging, but rewarding, Season of your life - and the dinner had started so wonderfully. Yet, somehow it had all gone to hell in a hand basket in the mere blink of an eye thanks the well meaning, but ill timed, teasing of Colin and Benedict.
Your brothers-in-law had both decided to raise a toast to your first Season as an âofficialâ member of the family and they'd got off to a rather complimentary start, if you were being honest. However, they had somehow moved from their praise on to reminiscing about the many years and many adventures you had had since joining their family.
Whereas every anecdote had caused the rest of the family to spiral into more laughter, your husband had looked more and more infuriated. In fact, Anthony had warned them not too kindly to âsit downâ and âshut upâ about your childish behaviours, which of course had only encouraged them further.Â
âOh, hush, brother,â Benedict had quipped, raising a glass to your successful debut. âShe knows we mean it all in good fun. After all, she once had a phase where she refused to wear shoes and would walk barefoot around the estate, traipsing mud everywhere! I think weâre allowed to be surprised by how far our dear darling Y/N has come.â
âItâs true - Itâs a miracle,â Colin added, wiping the tears of laughter from his cheeks. âThe transformation is remarkable. Who knew she would go from feral ragamuffin to lofty Lady Bridgerton.âÂ
Anthonyâs only response had been to tighten his grip on his glass to the point it looked like it would shatter.Â
Whether it was the residual stress of your busy social calendar, or something else entirely you had no idea. All you did know was that Anthony was angry, and even your gentle touch would not soothe him.Â
In a desperate attempt to calm him, youâd pulled Anthony out onto the terrace shortly after dessert had been cleared and asked what was happening. Much to your surprise, he had turned on you, venting about how childish his brothers were and how embarrassing it was that they were discussing things unbefitting someone who was a Viscountess.Â
âTheyâre just joking, my love. They were doing it to get a rise out of you.â
âWell, it wasnât funny,â heâd growled, causing you to bristle. âTheyâre so immature. They need to grow up and realise weâre not children any more. That⊠that youâre my wife and joint head of this family.â
âSo? Whatâs that supposed to mean?â
âYou know what I mean.â
âNo, I donât, Anthony,â you snapped, the warning clear in your tone. âWhat are you trying to say?â
âNothing, I just - it - theyâre⊠itâs embarrassing.âÂ
âSo, youâre embarrassed? By what? Your family? Or me? Because everything they said tonight is true. I did do those things, as did you. I may not have been born a noble lady but you knew that when you asked me to marry you. So donât suddenly act like you're ashamed, that you are somehow better than your family - than me.â
Somehow the argument had only spiralled from there, with both of you saying things you didnât mean, and with both of you storming off and slamming the doors behind you.Â
Even now, sat on the edge of the cricket pitch, the thought made your blood boil. How dare he? How dare he act ashamed of you and the wondrous memories of your youth together? It wasnât as if you hadnât grown and matured since then. You had done everything within your power to be worthy of him and his family, and yet all it took was one mention of the girl you had once been to make him upset?
As if sensing your silent fury, Eloise had been glued to your side since the moment you'd left the house. Her company had been a blessing, with her numerous whispered remarks and jokes, making the day almost bearable. One remark in particular from Eloise had caused you to burst out laughing in a most undignified fashion after watching Anthony trip over one of the opposite team - the Duke of Hastings of all people.Â
You still werenât quite sure how they had been positioned on opposite teams, but you were sure there was some kind of wicked divine intervention responsible. Who else would think it a good idea to put two competitive men against one another? Your hosts, perhaps? After all, Lady Danbury and Her Majesty had organised the game and you had learned long ago not to underestimate the women - especially when they decided to conspire together.Â
âHow long is this delightful game again?â Eloiseâs polite remark oozed with sarcasm as she leant back against the tree behind her.Â
It was obvious she was bored senseless. In fact, you half suspected she would have already left had her mother not been sat on the opposite side of the green, watching her like a hawk.Â
âIâm not sure,â you groaned in reply. âI lost count of who was winning about an hour ago.â
âSo, weâre to be trapped here for eternity?â
âPretty much, considering this part will not end until either Simon or Anthony lose, and we both know that neither one of them will concede defeat easily.â
Eloise rolled her eyes. âAnd I thought they were bad at Pall Mall-â
â-LOOK OUT!â
The cry interrupted both of you as you turned in surprise. Given the so-far sedimentary tone of the day, neither of you had expected such excitement as numerous Lords and Ladies began to hurl themselves out of the way as a stray cricket ball rocketed through the air, towards the crowd.Â
âGood god!â
The exclamation seemed apt as both you and Eloise ducked, watching as the ball sailed past, causing several yelps and groans from the people around you. You were pretty sure you also spied a glass of lemonade flying through the air in all the chaos. However, your attention was drawn to the figure charging towards you to retrieve the offending item as it rolled to a stop.Â
Anthony.
âPardon me, Y/N,â he murmured, reaching down to collect the ball that now lay a small distance from your feet. You nodded in greeting, aware of the many eyes watching but you elected not to say anything, not trusting yourself not to make some snide remark.
As it was, you both had barely said more than a handful of words to each other since your argument last night.
Clearly sensing the lingering tension between you, Anthony quickly turned to address his sister instead. âEloise.â
âAh, brother," Eloise cheered. "Splendid play so far. Tell me, when did the object of the game become the decapitation of the ton? I would have attended far more cricket matches had I known that was the aim of the game.âÂ
âYou can blame Simon for that one,â he replied, his taunt hidden beneath his neutral smile. âStill, good dodging back there. I thought he might have nearly caught you both.â
âAlmost.â
âBut alas he missed, like most of your players today,â you quipped, enjoying the way Anthony seemed to redden at the reminder of his teamâs less than stellar performance. âStill, good effort. Youâve almost caught up with Her Majestyâs team. I believe thatâs better than last year.â
âWell, that might have had something to do with the fact that she does have Simon,â Anthony grumbled.Â
It was true, no one could out-run Simon - even if Anthony always gave it a damn good try: hence why the Queen often had him captain her team when he was in London for the season. Besides, the head of the other team was usually Lord Duval, due to his position as the Queenâs chief administrator. However, it seemed his brains and financial strength were all he had, due to the fact his social skills, and athleticism were sorely lacking.Â
âTouchĂ©, and who is up next?â Eloise asked.Â
âI don't actually know. The other team seem to be taking remarkably long to sort themselves out.â
Just then, almost as if on cue, three men began to hurry towards them.
A quick glance revealed that one of the gentlemen who was approaching was Colin Bridgeton, and the other the Duke of Hastings; that much you knew. The third was rather unfamiliar to you, however, you were pretty certain heâd been playing on Simonâs team. Regardless of his identity, neither he nor any of the other gentlemen now stood in front of you looked very pleased. Rather, they looked as if they had all sucked on a lemon, their frowns were so deep.
âSorry to interrupt ladies, but I must reclaim Lord Bridgerton here for a moment. It appears Anthony will be needed to bowl again,â Simon sighed by way of explanation.
âWhat on earth for?â
Colin was the first to answer. âLord Dingby is unable to bowl on account of the heat, and the Baron will not play.â His skepticism was clear as he shot the so called Baron a disapproving look. âHe âtwisted his ankleâ or so he claims, thus we are down a bowler and the other team is down a player.â
You all rolled your eyes.
âSo then, who will bat?â questioned Eloise curiously. âIf Anthony is bowling you still require one more man to take their place on the other team?â
Wasnât that the question of the hour. However, no one appeared to have an answer, and by the disapproving glare steadily growing on the Queenâs face, they didnât have long to come up with one.Â
âMaybe Lord Stevens?â suggested the third man hastily, staring around at the crowd.Â
âNo. He injured himself riding the other week,â Simon replied. âAnd unfortunately our hosts only saw fit to invite enough male guests as were playing. We arenât exactly spoilt for choice regarding possible options.â
It was true. There didnât seem to be any visible answer in sight given that those most suited to the game were already positioned on the field.Â
âWhat about female guests though?âÂ
Your question hung in the air for a moment, causing everyone around you to turn in surprise.Â
âExcuse me?â Anthony looked at you suspiciously as you began to rise from your seat. He was well versed enough to know when mischief was afoot. A fact that was proven right a moment later as you held your hand out towards a shocked - and excited - Colin.
He was only too happy to oblige your silent request as he placed the bat in your grip. It was rapidly becoming the most exciting event of the season and lord knows he wasnât about to spoil the fun - especially if he got to rub salt into Anthonyâs wounds at the same time.Â
After all, given his display the previous evening, it was time you truly gave him something to feel embarrassed about. Losing.
âAre you sure about this?â
âPerfectly,â you smiled. âYouâve seen me when weâve played Pall Mall. I have a decent enough swing. Besides, you said yourselves you need an extra player and there isnât exactly anyone suited left - not anyone male, anyway.âÂ
âAnthony?âÂ
To his credit, your husband was also smiling, even if you could see the sudden tension forming behind his perfect smile. âI see no problem with it. Iâm sure our hosts would prefer the game finished rather than called off because we ran out of players.âÂ
âAgreed. Well, itâs settled then.â Simon cheered, clapping a hand on Anthonyâs shoulder as they looked back towards the field. âIt seems she will be taking his go.âÂ
Then they noticed the rain cloud of a man next to them.
"She canât play!â protested the third man. Everyone looked at him in silent disbelief. âThis is a gentlemanâs game. A Lady can not play."
âHer Majesty seems to have no objections,â Eloise commented smugly, glancing across the field. Indeed, it was true Her Majesty seemed to have no objections to the turn of events, choosing instead to exchange a wad of pound notes with the man beside her. If anything she looked exhilarated by the prospect. "Besides, I doubt a feeble female such as ourselves will pose any threat to your team, your Lordship.âÂ
âWell⊠I⊠Bridgerton, I still donât think-âÂ
Thankfully, Anthony was all too busy gazing at you to take any notice of the pompous oafâs objections.Â
It was a look you were more than familiar with, the unspoken desire and encouragement obvious in the way his gaze softened. It was the same look he always gave you when youâd done something amazing (and most things were amazing in his eyes). It didn't matter if it was taming a particularly unruly horse, solving a maths problem that left the rest of them scratching their heads, or daring to step onto the dance floor at your first ball, knowing not another soul in that room other than him. Â
It was a look that made you feel invincible. That you could do anything and everything you put your mind to as long as you had Anthony cheering you on from the sidelines... you were a team. Always.
"Anthony?" you asked, the challenge obvious - but also your sincerity. If he truly did not want you to play then you'd have marched back to your chair and sat right back down.
You'd meant it before. You loved your husband and wanted nothing more than to be the best partner you could be. Your hurt from last night had stemmed from the fear that, for a moment, that wasn't enough for him anymore.
Fortunately, it appeared you were wrong. Your husband wasn't embarrassed by you. If anything, he looked ready to kiss the ground you walked on as he leaned over and whispered in your ear, "If you can get four runs, I will personally pay you 5 pounds."
"You have a deal," you laughed. "As it is, women and ladies alike play cricket up and down the country. Itâs high time we had a chance to show you boys up."
The other man began to protest again. "My Lady, my La-"Â
He never got very far. You simply stopped, turning and handing him your parasol and shawl.
"Thank you," you cheered marching away.
He paused, taken aback. It didnât help that Eloise was only too eager to firmly pull him back into your now vacant seat with a glare that could have melted ice.Â
All around applause broke out as the players resumed their positions on the field. It took a moment or two for them to prepare for play but now everyone seemed to be watching intently.Â
Oh well, if you were to dare to play at all then you may as well dare to achieve something from it, you mused, gripping the bat handle and aligning yourself with the wicket. Victory seemed a rather good start, especially given the fact you had no idea what Lady Whistledown would make of this turn of affairs. Youâd already had a shocking enough entrance into the world of the Ton, what was one more daring display?
"Go easy, Lord Bridgerton," the referee cautioned from the side of the green.Â
Anthony nodded obediently at the crowdâs titters. You could see the restraint he was demonstrating, choosing not to hurl the ball at you the way he would had you both been in the privacy of your home. Instead, it took all his will power to grip the cricket ball and resume his position on the field.Â
Unfortunately, you never knew when best to desist from poking proverbial bears. That, and Anthony was too easy a target.Â
"Yes, do go easy on me," you jibed. Everyone who knew you could hear the sarcasm buried in your voice as you took the bat and fluttered your eyelashes at him. "Iâm only a delicate woman, but I must endeavour to ensure her Majestyâs team at least has an opportunity to best you, Lord Bridgerton. Youâre only losing by what? A few wickets?"Â
Oh. You were in for it now.Â
Anthonyâs grin was devious as he stepped back a few paces, weighing the ball in his hand till finally he charged at you, swinging his arm over in the perfect bowl.Â
It was then you brought up your bat to send the ball back in a high arc.Â
There was a moment of stunned silence as everyone followed the ball with their eyes. It was as if they couldnât believe youâd actually managed to hit it. However, the shock quickly wore off as everyone remembered the point of hitting the ball in the first place.Â
"GO!" came a yell from the crowd as excitement began to spread.Â
So, you did.
Hitching your skirts in one hand, you began to sprint towards the other set of wickets, grinning as your partner passed you along the way.Â
Of course, you would have liked to protest that you could have indeed run faster had you not been encumbered by your stays and petticoats. Your slippers were also rather terrible for any movement. What you wouldnât have given for a pair of trousers right then.Â
"Come on!" came another yell - it seemed as if everyone was forgetting their dignity in all the excitement as you tore back and forth across the grass in a mad blur.Â
Had it been anyone but you, it would have been a terribly scandalous moment. Yet, your name - and the status of your betrothed - meant this was all merely seen as sport. Besides, from the way Her Majesty was whooping from her perch by the trees, it was clear where her loyalties lay.
"Come on Y/N!"
"Anthony! Run!"
"Over here!"
"Come on!"
The cries blurred into one as you finally turned at what you planned on being your final run, only to spot Anthony as he came sprinting back towards you⊠and the wicket.
"Oh no, you donât," you laughed, charging onwards in a final burst of energy.Â
You could hardly catch your breath as the world slowed around you.Â
All that remained was you, Anthony, and the closing distance between you.Â
You could see his desperation laced with delight as he watched you stagger towards the wicket⊠just as the ball heâd thrown hit it.
"IN!"Â
The refereeâs declaration initiated an eruption of noise as all around the green, men and women celebrated the spectacle theyâd just witnessed, and the victory you had now ensured. Within seconds you were swarmed, mobbed by well wishers and triumphant team mates. There were so many hugs and snatched âwell doneâs that you were quite at a loss what to do other than stand there and accept it. Thankfully, Anthony seemed to have read your mind and was at your side as soon as he was able to fight through the jubilant throng.Â
The moment he reach you he took your hand in his. His expression was a mixture of awe and contrition, clearly unsure what to say to you.
"Good game," he praised. "Simon better watch out - I think Her Majesty will be asking you to captain her team next year."
"What a tremendous idea, Lord Bridgerton. I may just do that."
As if summoned by the very mention of her, a voice rang out clearly from behind you. Without even turning you knew exactly who was standing behind you, as the throng suddenly fell silent around you and parted like the Red Sea. In all the excitement you had failed to notice the Royal party making their way across the field to join in the celebrations.Â
With a gulp, you turned and dropped into the most respectful curtsey you could manage without falling flat on your face. "Y - your Majesty."
The Queen chuckled. "I must thank you, Lady Bridgerton, for providing such excitement to our proceedings today. I also must thank you for the twenty pounds I just procured off of Brimbsley - thatâll teach him to bet against me."
You merely dipped your head in gratitude, unsure whether this was actually happening or not. After all, the closest the youâd ever been to monarch was your hasty presentation several months ago and that had barely earned you more than a curious glance, like you had been some exotic animal on parade at the Zoo. And now, the Queen was addressing you? A lowly Stable Masterâs daughter?Â
It was enough to make you feel as if this was all some kind of surreal dream.Â
"Anyone who bets against your Majesty deserves to be relieved of their coin."
"True, True," she preened, gesturing for you and everyone else to rise. "I gather you have played this game before?"
"Growing up around the Bridgertons ensured I had little alternative," you confirmed, relieved when the Queen proceeded to chuckle good-naturedly.Â
"I dare say you didnât, my dear. Well, it certainly makes for a rather entertaining afternoon, as well as a victorious one. Perhaps we aught to have women playing more often." She turned her head and chose to direct her next words directly to your husband. "Youâve chosen quite the bride, Lord Bridgerton - you are to be congratulated on choosing such a spirited partner. I hope you realise how lucky you are."
"Indeed, your Majesty," Anthony replied, the earnestness clear in his eyes. "Iâve realised just how truly unique and remarkable she is⊠and how lucky I am that she chose to be on my team, even if not on the cricket pitch."
Another round of laughter echoed out at his declaration but you knew it was more than just a jest. In fact, by the all-too-clear pride radiating off of the eldest Bridgerton you knew what he truly meant with his honeyed praise. Â
It was all the apology you could need and had you not been in such company youâd have dragged him into the bushes and shown him just how much you forgave him. Besides, your victory on the Cricket pitch was enough pay-back for both of you.Â
As if sensing the amorous tension steadily rising around her, the Queen chose that moment to make a well-timed departure, in search of a refreshment. She barely gave you all a final nod before marching off to greet the rest of her guests, leaving you stood there with a rather gobsmacked expression on your face.Â
"Well⊠that really happened," you murmured, struggling to maintain your newfound confidence now that the whole saga had come to an end. "Did I actually just do that? Did the Queen actually just ⊠talk to me?"
"She really did," Anthony confirmed, hands grazing yours nervously, as if unsure whether or not youâd accept his touch. However, your hands accepted his readily, fingers intertwining as you squeezed his palm in an obvious attempt to ground yourself. "You truly were incredible today - I know you donât need to hear it but, for what itâs worth, I am proud of you."Â
"Thank you."
"And I truly am sorry for being such a world class fool, last night," he continued swiftly, clearly keen to make his apology whilst you were willing to receive it. "I didnât mean to make you feel as if I was embarrassed by you. I never could be. It couldnât be further from the truth. I was vexed with my brothers and because of several other trivial matters, but I allowed my temper to get the better of me and I handled it poorly. I lashed out at the wrong person - the one person who deserves nothing less than to be told how incredible she is, every single day. I am unworthy of you, Y/N. I know no one else in the entire world so awe inspiring and to let you think otherwise for even a moment was my failing entirely. You are brave and smart and funny and kind and beautiful-"
"Ok, Anthony. I get it."
"-and I am unworthy of someone with such skill on the cricket pitch-"
"Anthony," you squealed, trying to hide your laughter as he pulled you into his arms and smothered your face in kisses. "Itâs fine. I forgive you. After all, I also lost my temper and said some things I didnât mean. Can we just agree weâre both sorry and put this mess behind us?"
"Yes! God yes," he sighed, looking like a weight had visibly lifted from his shoulder. "Because I really do not like fighting with you. Instead, I think we should be enjoying your victory parade. Today is your triumph, after all - the Queenâs champion."Â
"Hmmm, I rather like that title," you purred, gazing up at him. "But between us? I prefer being your wife, much much more."
*unshed tears shining in my eyes*
So beautiful and brutal at the same timeđ
Pairing: Anthony Bridgerton x Reader
Warnings: Infidelity, major character death, emotional distress, pregnancy loss, grief, regret, angst
Word Count: 1,000+
Inspired by @writing-fanics
It began as a whisper of discomfort. A slight fatigue that settled in your bones, an ache that did not fade even after hours of rest. At first, you dismissed it. A lady of your station had little time to entertain sicknessâthere were balls to attend, guests to entertain, and a household to manage. Anthony, always busy with his responsibilities, hardly noticed.
You told yourself it was nothing.
But then, the fevers came.
They crept in during the night, leaving you shivering beneath layers of blankets, yet drenched in sweat. The coughing followedâdeep, wracking fits that left you breathless, clutching your chest as if you could hold your very life in place.
Still, you told Anthony nothing. He had already been so distant. His late nights had become more frequent, his excuses less convincing. Parliament meetings. Affairs of the estate. And yet, his cravat smelled of perfume that was not yours.
So you suffered in silence.
-
The physician confirmed what you already feared.
Your condition had worsened. There was no cure, only timeâtime that you did not have.
Benedict was the first to notice. He saw the way your hands trembled when you lifted your tea, the way your complexion had lost its color. He sat beside you more often, watching, worrying. It was Benedict who sent for Anthony the first time you collapsed, body too weak to carry you forward.
But your husband had not come home that night.
When he arrived the next morning, his eyes were tired, but not from concern. His cravat was slightly undone, the buttons of his waistcoat not fully fastened. You had seen him leave in pristine conditionâhe had not slept in your bed.
âWhere were you?â you asked, voice hoarse from the previous nightâs coughing.
Anthony hesitated, only for a fraction of a second, before forcing a smile. âMatters of business, darling.â
Lies.
But you were too tired to fight.
-
You were mostly confined to your bed now.
The sickness had taken too much of youâyour strength, your appetite, your breath. Each step was a battle, each word an effort. The physicians tried what they could, but their expressions told you the truth.
You were dying.
And Anthony still had not noticed.
He came home later and later, his excuses becoming nothing more than background noise. He did not see the hollows beneath your eyes, the way your hands trembled when you reached for him. He did not see the way Benedict looked at himâhow dare you leave her like this?âor the way your ladiesâ maids turned away, unable to hide their pity.
You wanted to tell him. To scream at him. To make him see you.
But what use was a battle when the war was already lost?
So, you smiled when he kissed your forehead. You forced yourself to laugh when he told you of his day. You pretended you did not smell her perfume lingering on his coat.
And at night, when he did not come home, you wept.
-
Anthony had finally noticed.
It was Benedictâof course, it was Benedictâwho had forced him to look at you.
âShe is dying, Anthony,â Benedict spat, gripping his elder brother by the collar. âAnd where have you been? With her?â
Anthony had scoffed at first, had shoved Benedict away with a roll of his eyes. âYou are being ridiculous. She isââ
Then he had seen you.
You had been sleeping when he entered the room, your form barely more than a shadow beneath the sheets. Your skin, once so full of warmth and color, was ghostly pale. Your lips were dry, cracked from fever. Your breaths came shallow, labored, the rise and fall of your chest so faint it terrified him.
âY/NâŠâ
He had whispered your name, but you had not stirred.
For the first time in months, Anthony had sat beside you. He had taken your handâtoo thin, too coldâbetween his own and felt his heart plummet.
How had he not seen it?
How had he let this happen?
That night, Anthony left for Siennaâs townhouse, but not for the reasons he once had.
He was going to end it.
But Sienna did not make it easy.
âSo now you remember you have a wife?â she had scoffed, draping herself over the chaise, eyes dark with amusement. âIs that not what Iâve always been to you, Anthony? A distraction from your duties? And now, because guilt tugs at your heart, you come to rid yourself of me?â
Anthony had clenched his jaw. âI should never have come to you in the first place.â
Siennaâs laughter had been bitter, cruel. âAnd yet, you did. Over and over again. While your wife lay dying in your grand estate, you were in my bed.â
He had left without another word. But the damage was done.
-
Anthony rushed through the doors of your chamber, breathless, desperate.
âWhere is she?â His voice was frantic, cracking under the weight of fear.
Benedict was still seated beside you, his expression unreadable as he lifted his gaze.
âShe is gone.â
The words knocked the air from Anthonyâs lungs. His eyes darted to the bed, to your still form beneath the blankets, your face peaceful, untouched by the pain that had consumed you for months.
âNo,â he whispered. âNo, pleaseâplease, my love, wake up.â
He was at your side in an instant, grasping at your hands, pressing frantic kisses to your fingers, your knuckles, your wristsâanywhere he could reach. But you were so cold.
âY/N,â he choked out, tears falling freely now, his whole body trembling. âPlease, I am here now. IâI was going to fix this. I was going toââ His voice broke. âI should have been here.â
Benedict stood, his face void of sympathy. âYes,â he said simply. âYou should have.â
Anthony let out a strangled sob, his forehead pressing against your still chest. He had failed you. He had abandoned you in your final days, had left you to suffer alone while he chased after foolish, meaningless desires.
And now, it was too late.
You would never hear his apologies.
You would never know that in the end, he had chosen you.
All you had known before you left this world was his absence.
And for the rest of his days, Anthony Bridgerton would carry that unbearable, unshakable grief.
-
The world felt like it had stopped. The fire in the hearth flickered weakly, casting long shadows across the walls. The scent of lavender still lingered, but it was stale, lifelessâjust like the room, just like you.
Anthonyâs hands trembled as he held yours, the warmth he had once taken for granted completely gone. You werenât asleep. You werenât waiting for him.
You were gone.
A strangled sob tore from his throat. He pressed his lips to your knuckles, willing his love into your lifeless fingers, hopingâprayingâthat it would bring you back. But there was nothing left. Only the sound of his own broken breaths and the weight of the silence pressing down on him.
This was his fault.
He had left you to suffer alone, blind to the pain in your eyes, deaf to the way your voice had weakened. He had been with Sienna while you lay here, waiting for him, needing him. And now, when he finally realized what he had doneâwhen he had finally chosen youâyou were already gone.
He had failed you.
Benedict stood quietly by the door, watching, his gaze unreadable. He had been here, Anthony realized bitterly. He had been the one to hold you as you slipped away. He had been the one to witness your last breath.
Not Anthony.
Never Anthony.
âI told her you would regret this,â Benedict finally said, voice hoarse with grief. His fists clenched at his sides. âI told her you would come crawling back too late.â
Anthony couldnât even argue.
He deserved every ounce of venom in his brotherâs voice.
A rustle of parchment broke the silence.
Benedict reached into his coat, pulling out a folded letter, sealed with wax. He stepped forward, shoving it into Anthonyâs hands, his eyes burning with something between sorrow and rage.
âShe wrote this for you,â Benedict said, barely holding himself together. âShe told me to give it to you only afterâŠâ His voice caught, but he swallowed hard and forced himself to continue. âAfter she was gone.â
Anthony could barely breathe as he looked at the letter. The edges were slightly crumpled, the ink slightly smudgedâhad she struggled to hold the pen? Had she been in pain while she wrote this?
With shaking fingers, he broke the seal.
My dearest Anthony,
If you are reading this, then it is already too late.
I wish I could have seen your face one last time. I wish I could have told you that I still love you, despite everything. But life is cruel, and time has run out for us.
I have known for some time now that I was not meant to stay in this world much longer. I felt it in the way my body betrayed me, in the way the pain settled into my bones, refusing to leave. I wanted to tell you, to beg you to stay, but I could not bring myself to do so. I knew your heart was elsewhere.
Perhaps it is selfish of me, but I wanted you to choose me on your own.
I wanted you to come home because you wanted to, not because you felt you had to.
But you never did.
And so, I made my peace with the silence.
But, my love, there is something I did not tell youâsomething I could not tell you.
I was with child.
Your child.
I found out only weeks before the sickness took hold of me. I had dreamed of telling you, of seeing your face light up with joy, of feeling your hand against my belly as our child grew. But I was afraid.
Afraid that you would not care.
Afraid that even this would not be enough to bring you home to me.
I wanted so badly for our child to know a fatherâs love, but as the weeks passed and my strength faded, I realized that they never would. I realized that I would never hold them, never hear their cries, never see them take their first breath.
I lost them before they ever had a chance to live.
And it broke me, Anthony.
It broke me in a way that nothing else ever could.
I know that you will carry guilt for this. I know that you will grieve. But I do not want my last words to be ones of anger or bitterness.
Despite it all, I loved you.
I loved you with every part of me, even as my heart shattered.
And I hopeâno, I prayâthat one day, you will learn to love again. That you will cherish what you once took for granted. That you will never let another love slip through your fingers as you did with me.
Goodbye, my love.
Yours, always,
Y/N
Anthony couldnât see past his tears.
The letter crumpled in his grip, his hands shaking violently. A strangled, guttural cry tore from his chest, echoing through the room.
She had been pregnant.
With his child.
And he had never known.
He had left her alone to suffer, to mourn, to grieve the loss of their baby all by herself. She had gone to bed every night with the weight of their unborn child pressing against her ribs, knowing she would never hold them.
And he had been with Sienna.
Benedict turned away, unable to watch as Anthony broke completely.
He did not comfort him.
He did not tell him it was alright.
Because it wasnât.
Because Anthony Bridgerton had done something no man should ever doâhe had abandoned the love of his life in her time of need.
And now, he would have to live with it.
Forever.
Looove fanfics and movies, trying to stop that but it ain't working
35 posts