Nintendo: Can’t Have Alcohol In Our Child Gambling Games!!! Solution???

A Gift (Loki x Reader)

Summary: Loki gives the reader a sword for valentines day and teaches them how to use it. Thor mistakes the gift as proof of an engagement.

Note: Screw roses and chocolate, I want a sword as a declaration of love! Also, screw canon and characters dying; everyone is alive and happy and healed. Please let me know what you think, feedback makes me strong and keeps me motivated to write more! Have a great day :D

Words: 1817 

It wasn’t the fact that someone had snuck into your room in the dead of night that bothered you. After all, FRIDAY would have alerted you if they meant harm and if, by some terrifying twist of genius, they’d evaded her scanners then they still hadn’t meant to hurt you as they’d left you sleeping peacefully through the night.

It wasn’t even that they’d tidied up - although that was rather strange. No, what bothered you was that, after silently cleaning your apartment, the intruder had left nothing but a long box on your table. No note, no explanation. Just a box, wrapped beautifully in dark green paper. 

Naturally, you had FRIDAY run a few tests on the box to prove that it was safe to open. She confirmed that there were no dangerous trace readings or anything to be worried about but suggested caution nonetheless. Expecting some kind of biological weapon or hidden explosives, you were quite surprised to find a sword. 

It was beyond beautiful. The blade was perfectly balanced, just the right side of heavy for you to comfortably lift and manoeuvre it, but deceptively sharp. (The first thing you’d done was run your fingers along the immaculate surface and cut yourself on the edge.) The hilt was like something from a fairytale. Made of a golden alloy of some kind, decorated with the most intricate swirling designs, you surmised it had to be centuries old at least; craftmanship of this quality simply didn’t exist nowadays. 

It was everything you could have dreamed of in a sword - and you had dreamed of owning one for so long - but it didn’t explain why it was there or why your mysterious giftee wanted to remain anonymous. 

However, you’d come to accept that life - your life, especially - rarely made much sense so, instead of worrying, you grabbed the sword and did what any normal person in your position would have done. (Probably; you’d spent so many years surrounded by super assassins and aliens that your definition of ‘normal’ was somewhat screwed.) You strode through the Compound like a proud soldier off to war, down to the training room where you intended to slash and stab the crap out of the training dummies. 

Keep reading

Slumber Party

Pairing: Loki x reader

Word Count: 813

Summary: Loki interrupts your slumber party with the girls then decides he wants to have one himself.

Author’s Note: This is for the continuation of the HBC’s @the-th-horniest-book-club​ drunk drabbles and the super fun prompt below sent in by the lovely @prunes-said-bucky​ I like writing Loki soft and always a bit sassy and mischievous  Hope you enjoy and thank you all for reading! Much love always! ❤❤❤

Warnings: FLUFFY FUN AND SOFTNESS! :) 

Loki follows the sound of raucous laughter to the door of your room. He hears your voice rise above the others in a squeal and then something like a loud thud. Becoming nervous he knocks before throwing the door open. You, Nat, Wanda and Hope all stop dead in your tracks and stare at him.

Keep reading

I want a hug from terry real bad

Terry understands if you feel sad

when it’s suddenly 4 AM and you’re still awake

Husband just told me he’s going to sit in the car because he’s about to yell at someone on the phone and doesn’t want me to be upset by his yelling and I can’t decide if this is a little sad or kinda hilarious.

Dude, okay so—

Today, I was hit with the sudden craving for Togo’s (sandwich place) and I was like “wait, I had a sandwich yesterday, so half is probably still in the fridge.” I look in the fridge, and it’s gone—meaning my mom ate my Togo’s sandwich yesterday. I was sad, but I ordered another during the afternoon. I made a joke about it during dinner, knowing that my mom ate it, and my Dad wouldn’t have (because he doesn’t like it, and won’t eat other peoples food). And what do I come to find at 11:45 but my mom EATING THE REST OF THE SANDWICH THAT I ORDERED TODAY.

Mwah-sterlist

Imagines

Shakespeare And Starbucks

“a-glimpse-of-loki.tumblr.com”

The Party

Awkward (Part 2 to the Party)

Sleeping Beauty

The Avengers: Earth’s Worst Charaders

Loki Loves Loki

She Is Beauty, She Is Grace, She Will Stab You In The Face

Just Another Sleepover (Part 1) (Part 2)

Friendship Is Magic

A Single Bed

Light As A Feather (NSFW)

Mister Mischief Series (Not a chaptered fic, only separate fluff stories)

#001: Loki’s Jumper

Incorrect Quotes

Stolen

Loki As A Disney Villain

Dark Humor

La Vie En Rose

Second-Hand

Ghostbusters (idk where to put this cause it’s kind of in between an imagine and an incorrect quote??)

What (bad title i’m sorry)

Yup

just wanting to prove a quick point here. reblog if you believe loki is a complex, well-developed, three-dimensional character who didn’t deserve to be killed in the first 5 minutes of the movie. let’s see how many we are

@wildefire Here it is! c: /i kinda imagine a college Steve for this one idk why :D:D/

2. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on you again for taking advantage of my compassionate and forgiving nature! HOw dare you.  + 3. Me? Overreacting? Probably.

—

Today was the day. Finally you had the day off for yourself and after the mission you told everybody you’ll see them around later and you sprinted to your room. You took off your clothes and wrapped your body in a nice fluffy towel, then grabbed the little pink bag from the shelf and entered your bathroom.

You closed the door and filled the bath tub with hot, steaming water and added your favourite scent to it. You were really excited, because this was your first free day in three weeks and all you wanted to do was to sit in that bath tub until you grew gills.

You lighted some candles, their delicate aroma was simply heavenly. But the best was yet to come! Yes, the little pink bag - you opened it and unwrapped the colourful bath bombs. “Finally I get to see what’s all the fuss about” - you said to yourself excitedly as you bit your bottom lip and dropped the rosy-lime one in the water. Just watching it turn the transparency into a nice pinky colour was so satisfying, you couldn’t wait to get in this tub and enjoy the afternoon.

Candles, flowers, some chocolates, everything was perfect. Your muscles were so tensed and your body craved relaxation. You closed your eyes and tilted your head back, a sigh of pleasure escaping your lips, when suddenly you felt a gush of cold air hitting you. And then a loud dropping sound.

This made your eyes open right away. You looked aroud - the door was closed, but what the hell was that on the floor. It looked like a little box, but it was… Ticking?

You opened the door just as the smoke alarm buzzed , just so you could stand face to face with the Devil himself, who stood at your door, biting on an apple, while blue smoke was coming out of the bathroom.

You grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and pushed him against the opposite wall. “You! You little cheeky bastard! How dare you ruin my only free day?!” - yelling at his face seemed to do nothing, so you grabbed his apple and tossed it at the wall. “First you turned my hair green, then you shrank my clothes so they can only fit a fucking ant, then you came in my room naked in the middle of the night and scared the crap out of me. It’s not funny! I fucking thought I was getting kidnapped! And now this?! ” - by this point he was trying really hard not to laugh, so he just bit his lip, but his eyes were almost watering from the laughter he was holding in.

“It’s not fucking funny Rogers!” - you pulled him again and this time he laughed and leaned over the door frame. He was desperately trying to say something between the gasps for air “Your… Your face is blue” - he laughed, hitting the door frame with one hand. You started clapping slowly, in a sarcastic manner “Aren’t you the most observing person in the world! No, no, you know what fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on you again for taking advantage of my compassionate and forgiving nature! HOw dare you?  ”

You poked his chest with one finger and then crossed your arms, still glaring at him. Your hair messy, your face blue with some darker patches of blue on your shoulders, your body covered with the towel. You were mad at the moment, but in reality you looked beautiful to him, even in your crazy states.

You bent down a bit, holding your towel with one hand - “This is war, Rogers and you’ll get it!” - he looked at you with a cheeky smile and then got up, pulling you closer by your waist, so he can clean some of the blue from your face. “Aren’t you overreacting a little bit?” - he asked childishly, his smile only growing bigger, his brows raised as if he was so amused from your overraction.

You waved a finger in front of his face “Me? Overreacting?? Probably! But that doesn’t stop me from getting my revenge on you!”

~~ You planned your revenge for a few days and a couple of days later it was time to get your plan going.

You tried to seam calm and collected during the weak, as if you had forgotten everything, but in reality you were just looking for the right opportunity. And so the day came.

Steve was in the kitchen, just a towel wrapped around his waist, his body glistening with some fine drops of water. He was cooking something, when you tip toed to him and wrapped your hands around him and placed a kiss on his bare back. You felt his muscles tense and his skin heat up. He turned around and as he did you placed another kiss on his neck. His hands just barely resting on your waist.

Your relationship with him was complicated, but not complicated enough for you not to notice his constant flirting with you and so you knew this would have his mind running thousand miles per hour.

His head moved to the side involuntarily and you kisses his ear, but tried to stay calm. As much as you liked the game, turning your face blue for two days straight was no fun. You had to move fast because very soon he’d realise what was happening, so in one quick motion you handcuffed him to the fridge and unwrapped the towel from his waist.

He had no time to protest because the next thing you did was ripping the flour packet he had prepared all over him and pulled a camera from behind your back. “That’s what you get for messing with me, Rogers” - you said teasingly as you snapped just one photo of him and then put the keys on the far end of the table. You spared him once last look before you exited the room, you winked and then stuck your tongue out at him when he said with a smile “I’ll get you for that!”