No One:

Babe I promise my life is not suffering because it lacks the highs and lows of romance, I take calculus

Want something casual as in committed fake dating not a hookup

Tired of pretending Remus was conventionally attractive. He was undeniably pale as shit, covered in acne, and the skinniest nerd twerp you’ve ever seen. Not to mention he broke his nose an astrinomical amount of times and had the worst posture know to man. No more ugly Remus erasure

This is my petition for the universe to let me be Spider-Man. Not for crime fighting purposes, I live in the boonies. I just want my eyes to work and lasik is scary

Drawing is refusing to pick up a pencil for half a year and being surprised when you haven’t improved

Forever thankful aftg went the way it did because what the fuck kinda name is Nathaniel Wesninski

Pulled up to the function! The function is loud. I want to go home.

Hello Pretty Girl in the Bathroom.

You may have seen me set my latte down before I washed my hands. This is not because I’m an icky gross person who purposefully took my latte into the bathroom and then drank it after it was infected by poop particles in the air. I was trying to wait outside the bathroom for my friend but was then aware of the fact that I was in the way of every other person it the area. I therefore escaped to the bathroom with my latte and proceeded to hide in the toilet until everyone else had left. I give my deepest apologies to you, whom I did not consider would still be washing your hands in the sink. Rest assured I proceeded to throw away my six dollar latte in the hopes that I could atone. I sincerely regret any and all mental harm I may have caused to in this endeavour. If you are willing to overlook this harrowing experience, I am, at the moment, unmarried.

Sorry again,

Icky(?) girl with the chai

Ronan hates the “it was all a dream” trope because it’s just his daily routine

mfers be like “I’m not ready for a long term relationship” then watch one piece, be fr