The Rabbits I Cannttt... 💔💔💔 It's So Sick, Love Your Style Esoteric Bimbo!!!

Holy shit i finished reading your tf2 fic yesterday and im so invested its literally all i can think about. your writing is AMAZING and so inspirational, and really thank you for diving into the horror of tf2 clone concept. ive always loved that concept, and thought it was such an underutilized idea. i mean, can you imagine how terrifying it is discovering you have a clone of yourself, without your knowledge?? or how even worse it is for the clone themself? its just so AAGGH its hard to describe in words,, but you did it perfectly

fic in question

I'M FREEEEEEE!!!!!!!

Here's the speedpaint:

//guys why is this getting more traction than the original post... Go check the pinned post guys!!!

Hello no pressure but I would love more of your thought process behind the Dying Dog. It's a gorgeous piece and I need the directors commentary.

Thank you guys for giving so much attention to that one, you make me happy as ever!

Well, about the thought process.... heh... Let's say... *puffs a sig like Joker from the movie Joker*.. There were no thought process.....🚬

The picture just popped up in my head and I knew that was some kind of symbolism or metaphor here (I can't differentiate the two) but consciously I couldn't explain what it was. Just feelings... With both writing and art, it happens often - symbols are born by themselves and I'm unable to decipher what they mean unless I materialize them.

If I am to guess, the Dying Dog is just a metaphor for Sniper's inner state. When dogs die from natural causes, there's usually a period of time, about few weeks, to notice. In this period, the dog owners usually prepare for the loss, saying goodbye and making sure the last days of their pet are happy.

But in this piece Sniper is not an owner but a dog himself. He feels like slowly dying somehow, he's prepared and he's waiting. Except the end doesn't come near. Imagine lying there in pain, waiting for the sanctuary of death, but it's been months and years and it never ends. Yet it feels like the end. Does it make sense? Just what is he preparing for, exactly, then?..

Dizziness, feeling cold and sweaty from the inner heat. Yet no physical sign of dying.

A literal dying dog looks more alive than him.

(Also, a little timelapse!!)

Spy tf2 and his identity

Character analysis (or at least my vision on him, if you believe my reasoning)

What do we know about Spy? He's a disguise mastermind. He can pretend to be anyone in order to infiltrate into the scene to do his job - quite literally, stab people on the back. But when he's not in the battle, what is he to his teammates? A suave Frenchman, a gentleman with taste, somewhat a leader.

At least, that's the persona he prefers to show. But is he really..?

What if I tell you that this person never drops his disguise?

For a man who always wears a mask and who's identity being secret is a sacred part of his role in this job, isn't this persona too much to show if it is real? Frenchman, rich, ladykiller... Wouldn't it be too easy to decipher his identity with so much clues provided? Wouldn't it be dangerous?

While Miss Pauling and the Administrator definitely know Spy's real identity, hiding it is a major thing for whatever reason. One could assume it might be because of Scout (obvious guess) but I doubt he's a sole reason. Spy very much enjoys being the Spy all by himself. Do what's the deal?

Let's start from the beginning.

Why did Spy join Mann Co. in the first place?

Let's take this assumption as a fact: people come here out of desperation. They are professionals in their field, yet in their past/casual life there is a pattern of them having difficulties that push them into joining this service. I don't see why Spy would be an exception.

The reason for joining is usually money. Some people question why Spy, a wealthy man from higher society, would join Mann Co. if he has it all already.

Well, probably because he really does not.

Have you ever met an aristocrat? Wealthy people don't get so protective about their expensive suits, they can afford cleaning or a new one. Regardless, rich people don't usually get stingy about material goods, especially if they're mass produced.

At least, not those who were born into wealth.

Spy's defensiveness about his "wealthy stuff", his pomp-ness, disgust and arrogance towards "plebs" gives off a man who knows what it means to live in poverty and who doesn't want to be associated with it ever again.

(Not even talking about his own filthy habits such as not washing his mask and pissing on walls? Jesus Christ)

Dare I even guess that he might be not French at all? His French is so broken. (Although, so is Medic's German, but at least he uses his language much more frequently and in more complex sentences, while Spy only uses French to say some basic expressions, occasionally confusing them with other languages). Definitely not a native.

If anything, he's not giving "rich man" at all, he's giving con man. And that fits my picture perfectly.

So, poor upbringing. How old is Spy? If he's Scout's father (and he was young when he was conceived), I'd say he's no less than 20 years older than him. I'd give him a few more years actually. So, approximately Spy is around 50 at the events of the game (1968-1972). Let's assume he was born somewhere in the 1910s.

Even if he's not French, I still agree that he's probably European. Hmm, what was happening in Europe at the time Spy was a kid?

Oh yeah. The Great Depression.

See my picture: imagine, a child from a lower class family during the Great Depression, his parents were most likely to not take good care about him (both because of the economical situation AND as an echo to Spy's struggles with his own fatherhood). He has to run away from home early and start to make money. Any way possible.

Unavoidably, it leads to crime.

Petty theft, blackmail, scams. Changing identities. Selling low quality products and services. Changing identities again. When older, seducing rich women to stay at their homes overnight, be fed and supported. Running away from the police. Walking into a trap of the mafia, and then joining them as their goon.

In this nightmare of a life he just had to keep pretending to be someone else, someone better and stronger, in order to his ego to not completely shutter. He had to imagine he was an invincible mastermind trickster of some sort, not just a poor boo-hoo victim of poverty who has never knew normal life and care.

And if you pretend for long enough, you become your role eventually... Right?

His true self was long lost forgotten under many layers of new identities. Worse, his true self was never known. And he didn't want it to be known in its ugly and disgusting vulnerability. Narcissism became his lifeline.

It's so much better to be Spy. To be rich and elegant and respected. His ego rebuilt.

Gift for @gentlesurgeryenjoyer 🌹

I wanted to let you know that I absolutely adore your artwork and your "Anomaly Diversion" fic, and I sincerely hope you continue it.

I understand that it's a huge undertaking to write something so detailed and beautiful, and there is no pressure for you to keep going if you can't, but I just wanted to tell you how much I love your work <3

This made me tear up... I feel so seen.

I really appreciate that you see how it is, indeed, very hard... But it's worth it. I've recently started making a Miro board for it (so I stop forgetting stuff...)

I'm not in a very good place of mind right now which prevents me from working as efficiently as usual, but I'm working on it. Slowly but steadily. Thank you so much for checking </3

I couldn't draw much lately but here! Take these unfinished pics of a fic concept I was trying to explain lol

(CLONE THEORY 2nd Edition)

From Anomaly Diversion For the upcoming Chapter 4.

Tyrosine

Rubber Touch part 2....

Scout and the strange dream door

I can't believe Anomi just straight up ripped off Badwatervideos2009 with the living ragdolls and even scout entering the white door smhh couldn't even come up with anything original nyeah. shaking my head.

also THERE'S 70 PEOPLE ON THE DISCORD VC SHUTT THE FUCK UPPP

02/25/2025: Okay uh after the recent Discord finds... This scene feels VERY differently now, holy shit, Eida you sick bastard....

Just a bunch of biblical paintings more and I'll finally start drawing yaoi