Jesus Fucking Christ????????

Weekly magma, apparently!!!

Thanks to everyone who joined!! @/currrsy, @/nightly-headache, @/homkamiro, @/slimsnipes, @/gentlesurgeryenjoyer, @/nibadannn, "@/dooobyu @/casserpillarr

Wannabe

Observee

(Skyghost // Umbrella man from INTERLOPER ARG)

This is the biggest thing I am interested in at the moment. So sad that Interloper doesn't have a fandom in the conventional sense... We only have a Discord server for the investigations (a couple thousands of people who as confused at what's going on as I am) but there's... no FANDOM. You know what I mean?

There are many characters in this story who, as people (and not people?), are SO INTERESTING, yet there are barely any fanart or them. All with the biggest potential of telling the most heart-wrenching sad story that would compromise our understanding of "human-ness" as we know it... Come on, people?? I'm crying and climbing walls at the Anomidae//Eidamona parallel and the implications...

PLEASE let's make it a fandom. You, yes, you. GO watch it, all episodes, RIGHT NOW!!!

MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!

Two out of the many fanart I'm drawing for those rare TF2 fic writers! Gotta show some love to them! Here's some fanart of Anomaly Diversion by @oblique-lane! I don't like existential stuff, it makes me overthink and I hate feeling that way. But this fic is insanely creative and unique, so go read it if you have the time!

Here's the art without the weird swirls.

hiya, i really liked the pyro piece ya made !! I was wondering, how'd you get the glowing effect on the beam coming outta their head?

Easy ;)

2024 Summary

Starts in May because I drew nothing earlier.

Last year (I barely even remember those times) I was so burned out by drawing, I used to put too much effort in it and then not be satisfied anyway, so I snapped and decided to not draw ever again. 2023 summary was uneventful. I've lost faith in my skills.

Even a year into the fandom, I didn't believe I was able to draw these characters and I didn't want to (I was scared). I decided that I'll be known there solely by my writing... Until one day I actually tried and, wait a minute... I CAN?????

I'm still not in a warm relationship with drawing as I used to be back in the day, I still don't draw for enjoyment but only for the end result. But I'm glad that I'm welcomed here with what it is. 💔

Happy new year!!!

Last post's timelapse

Thank you SFM, with you I'm able to cheat with everything...

'' Is this real or cake ? '' I say as i plunge my knife into scout tf2

hey since you’ve posted two pieces in a row about my boy Scout I was wondering if maybe you could write more your thoughts/your hcs about him? I think he’s really interesting and I don’t often see people realize that he’s more complex that what he seems, like this man just seems very sad inside. i really like your analyses and your takes are some of my favorites

hope you have a good day!

Appreciate it! Although I probably won't say anything particularly new... Okay, let's talk about Scout!

Though he no doubt wears the persona of a confident cool guy, protecting his ego from vulnerability, I wouldn't say there's sadness inside him. More accurate would be fear.

People with sadness baggage are pretty passive and quiet. And Scout's reaction is to hit, run, scare away, cling anxiously to the object of security. That's fear. He's fearful.

He doesn't think about it much, he's a pretty happy guy in the environment he's in. But if something makes him go off the rails and he starts, God forbid, thinking.....

His core fear is not living up to his place in the world. He knows there's a place for him, but for some reason he feels like people think he's not good enough to take it. Anyone better and stronger could take his place at any time. He's on bird's rights here.

Growing up with older brothers, being not good at school, being the smallest and youngest mercenary of the team, this feeling doesn't leave him ever. It's a tiresome inner struggle: "How do I make my stay secure?", "How do I become worthy?"

Falling into this cognitive trap of searching for self validation in the outside world instead of inside of himself, he was doomed to be stuck in ambivalence:

To continue to pretend, risking being exposed as an imposter, or to be sincere and inevitably endure the unbearable pain of rejection and loneliness?

He laughs and taunts and overexplains himself so much. He clings to the only thing he's better than everyone at. He overcompensates; he demands attention and tries to make himself bigger. He hates being alone as it basically feels like being actually pushed off his place in the world. He clings to people but immediately pushes them away for being too dangerously close to finding out his fears. He needs to be with everyone to know and to control what they think about him.

And it never makes him calm down anyway, since all those efforts take a lot of energy. Tiresome to be, tiresome to pretend. And the prize is nowhere near the sight.

This loop of pain will never end, unless he breaks the very core mindset of his. The answer is stepping into this fear, but he can't even think about it! It feels like death! His ego will die and it's going to feel like he's dying as a whole.

A full existential, primal fear of an child to be rejected by his parent. "Not worthy of living".

(Based on the Lise Bourbeau's model of 5 soul wounds: Abandonment)

Oh yes actually about Scout's self-conscious character. Classic but gold.

Just imagine how much misunderstanding and humiliation this guy went through his life, always being forced to be better-stronger-faster-smarter, whatever. Like, always being stopped and corrected at certain behaviours because its girly, chicken and gay or whatever, being mocked for being the youngest child, not the strongest, definitely not the smartest at school... He overcompensates with his speed and this is why his taunts are twice as toxic. This guy's core confidence is as fragile as fine china.

Some people portray him as an asshole for some reason, as if he was a heartless fuckboy. Totally wrong, it's pretty evident that he's a very kind guy. Even with Ms.Pauling, he doesn't just want to fuck her, he's genuinely faithfully in love, faithful even if there's no pressure for him to be.

He's kind to his friends. He's the one of the friendliest of them. This shameful gentleness is what made me fall in love with him. Seeing his facade cracking, revealing this more or less innocent soul (not counting the killings) is what ironically would give him all the love in return for his heart overwhelmed with his own love.

If he was a little bit more mature and nit scared of people's opinions and more genuine, I believe his smile would brighten up the whole world when the sun in no more.

has anyone done this already