There’s Something About Crisp Notes That Genuinely Bring Me Peace.

17 March (last day of classes)

This quarter has collectively brought out the best and and worst in me. From dealing with heart issues, to dealing with mental issues it hasn’t been a fun time.

I had hopes of getting straight A’s, but ultimately I find myself once again looking just to get through it without failing (read: anything less than a B+). The burnout has been real and very hard to with but, I persevered.

It’s ok just to get through the quarter...

I love y’all ✌🏿

dark academia on a budget

(because not only rich people can be dark academics)

-thrifting with friends for old sweaters that someone’s grandfather must have worn

-getting second (or third or fourth) hand books and reading the notes that other people left in them

-making sure everything is tidy and clean, no matter what

-adopting a minimalist aesthetic

-or making your own decorations (which then makes you better at lettering and art)

-sitting in a local cafe and buying the cheapest thing so that you can study there (and making sure that you tip as much as you can)

-reading poetry online, printing your favorites, and posting them on your walls

-taking as much of your family’s clothing that they’ll let you have

-rotating the same few shirts, pants, and shoes without anyone noticing

-a lack of jewelry (because there are more important things)

-sitting outside at a park to read or write

-looking outside windows on public transport while listening to somber music

Question for the masses.

What is your note taking method, and how effective do you find it to be?

Am I nonbinary? No I don't think so. Would I be totally chill if someone used they/them or other nonbinary pronouns for me? Yeah honestly. Call me whatever you want tbh. I don't even think using he/him would feel that weird to me. Like I'm pretty confident that I'm a woman but I really think I'd be chill with whatever pronouns (except for maybe it/its). Call me whatever honestly.

In a similar vein, I've been having questions about my sexuality recently and I was reading old journals and realized I was having those same questions three years ago too. But the difference is, then I was very distinctly calling myself bisexual so this potential change in identity was really difficult and upsetting for me. Now I pretty much just call myself queer so a potential change in the nuance of my queerness doesn't upset me at all.

Today was pretty good, I got most of my calc 3 homework done, and still found time to catch up on most of my linear algebra notes.

Sending positive and productive vibrations

Here, have some thermo notes

🎧 vibin 2 by Ryan Celsius

Stressed? Have a relaxing time lapse

Calc 3 notes ✔️

Linear algebra notes ✔️

Linear algebra HW (in progress)

If I can do it, then so can you

One of my favorites (and there are a few pictures)

26 Oct (Intro. Number Theory)

This is by far the worst class that I have taken. Consistently I have been with the lowest grade, and my overall understanding of this class is abysmal. Despite being in my professor’s office every day.

In any case I make a point to strive for perfection, and not understanding something haunts me to my core. In any case I am forever hopeful. Im happy to be back, and I have lots to share

🎧 Momma Told Me - Earthgang

Stay Up y’all

28 April (Diff Eq.)

The struggle has been very real over the course of the last week. I failed a test (it was in the teens), my mom is still in the hospital, and some days are definitely better than others, but I am holding on.

I can’t in good faith give up everything that I’ve worked so hard to build. I have also been procrastinating. The Howard deadline is 30 April, and tbh I haven’t put my all into it (despite really wanting to attend the school).

Small update, but that’s all for today.

Stay up✌🏿

🎧 Trappin in Japan 4 - Ryan Celsius