Gordon Has A New Detective, Freshly Transferred To His Department, Who Will Not Stop Making Death Puns

Gordon has a new detective, freshly transferred to his department, who Will Not Stop Making Death Puns

And he's about ready to commit murder.

The man is very, very good at his job. He seems to stumble across evidence without realizing what he's doing, and freaks out suspects at interrogation tables by bringing up crap his wife and husband do that perfectly mirrors the suspect's story, and then points out the inconsistencies.

He is quickly becoming the most hated man in the department, in terms of who criminals hate.

Great news, Gordon's 100% sure he isn't corrupted.

Bad news, Gordon's 100% sure of that because he keeps easily outing corrupted cops with an ease that makes Gordon feel like he's been wasting time all these years.

So when Batman pisses Gordon off just a little too much, goes over his head one too many times, Gordon decides "fuck it, he get's to deal with Detective Daniel Foley."

But as he's walking away, as Foley starts to hand over the files, he hears the most Dreaded Phrase that man can ever say.

"Ya know, my wife-"

Basically Danny is married to Sam and Tucker, both he and Sam took Tucker's last name, and Danny is a modern Columbo.

Only he speaks to ghosts for easy cheat codes to evidence.

@simplestoryteller

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nomaru666

2 months ago

concept: willy wonka and harry potter take place in the same universe the ministry of magic haaaates Willy Wonka

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nomaru666

1 month ago

I ordered a blonde flat white from Starbucks while on my break and the barista must have been having a long day bc he goes “that would be my stripper name” and there was like five seconds of dead silence between us before he looked up realized he said that out loud

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nomaru666

1 month ago

”dr ratio loves humanity not in spite of its many flaws but because of them” and “dr ratio, at his core is a fucking hater” are two statements that can and should coexist

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nomaru666

1 month ago

Honestly, I think someone had to say it. Kafka Asagiri is a spiteful bastard who likes lolicon (follows loli artists on Twitter) and defaming the names of authors he dislikes. The REAL Mori Ogai is a CSA victim, and has been deeply outspoken in Vita Sexualis about how traumatic it was to 1) be exposed to pornography at age 6 for his first experience with sexuality, 2) narrowly avoid being assaulted at his school by older teenage boys when he was 12, and 3) get drugged and assaulted by a prostitute when he was 19 who successfully gaslit him into thinking what happened to him was his fault. He wrote Vita to expose the way literature conditioned him to believe that it was his fault people were sexually violent towards him, because authors like Tanizaki were normalizing that in their work and he was afraid more people would end up like him, only to get called a “degenerate” and censored for speaking out about being an abuse survivor. Asagiri was SO OFFENDED by this idea that his fetish-pandering could hurt people that he made “Mori” a lolicon AND constantly shows him drinking THAT VERY SAME TEA HE WAS DRUGGED WITH IN REAL LIFE. I genuinely do not understand why THIS MANY PEOPLE have not read the original authors’ works. Don’t even get me STARTED on what he did to Dostoevsky.

You're clearly the expert here what on Gods green earth is this 😭🙏 spread this word