The Hate Of Polyamorous People Feels So Arbitrary To Me. Like I Know Bigotry Is Irrational But Like.

don’t kill yourself because the internet is going to be really funny when Elon gets assassinated

I'm so fucking sick of identity politics and queer discourse

I made this blog because I want to stick up for my transmasc friends and allies.

Right now, trans men/transmascs in general are the current "acceptable target " in online lgbt+ spaces. I've seen this happen with aces, bi and pan people, trans women, intersex people... you get the idea. It's the same bullshit every time, and it's getting old.

The solution to discrimination will never be attacking our queer siblings.

I'm not here to debate or give assholes a platform. Zionists, trolls and terfs are getting blocked, y'all ain't welcome.

This is how I view the current transandrophobia discourse:

Group A: argues that transandrophobia is real and should be an acceptable term for people to use when discussing the unique intersection of masculinity and transphobia. This group is mainly comprised of transmascs, who have a right to create and discuss words and theory relating to their own community.

Group B: argues that the term "transandrophobia" is inherently flawed and problematic, and that trans men/mascs do not experience oppression for identifying as men. Crucially, this group is mainly comprised of non-transmascs, and thus should not be considered the authority on transmascs experiences.

Needless to say, I consider myself a supporter of Group A. Transmascs DO in fact face a unique form of discrimination BECAUSE of their masculine identities; I've seen it happen firsthand to my loved ones. Denying this is denying victims the right to speak about their oppression.

If you aren’t transmasc, you do not get to say these experiences are "just misogyny" or "just transphobia." Frankly, I don't think anyone should police the words another person uses to describe their own trauma.

Additionally, I have seen some rampant exorsexism, intersexism, and yes, transandrophobia, in Group B circles. Of course, when you align yourself with one side of a discourse, you will only see the worst in the other. That doesn't change the fact that it’s happening, and I'm going to point it out when I see it.

Please Note:

I am extremely pro-blocking. Block anyone who says cruel shit to you. Block anyone who bothers you. Block me if you think I'm annoying!

Anyone who makes generalizations about ANY community is getting blocked. Trans women do not hate trans men. Trans men do not hate trans women. No single trans identity is uniquely privileged or bigoted. This isn't kindergarten. Cut the boys vs girls bullshit.

I'm not here to argue about the existence of transmisogyny. It is real and rampant in the LGBT+ community, end of story.

Lastly, talk shit out like adults, please. I dislike it when people take screenshots of bad takes so they can complain about others behind their backs. However, I'll make an exception for people who are being uniquely awful.

If someone is "joking" about how much they want to kill transmascs, calling someone slurs, or sending an unconsenting person sexual messages, all bets are off. They are a transphobe and a traitor to the LGBT+ community, regardless of identity.

So please remember:

Identity discourse is a tar pit. Put more energy into uplifting your transmasc brothers and siblings than engaging with assholes.

polyamory hate is so weird to me, because "having casual sex with multiple people at the same time" is considered like. a sign of being a cool person, until those people are like. fat or have blue hair and pronouns or whatever

the thing that pisses me off the most about this whole "haha trans men in womens bathrooms will make them reconsider" spin going around is that it basically pretends trans men and mascs of color dont exist and arent in very real danger

like, think about for even one second how, historically, white women have weaponized the perception of moc as inherently masculinely savage to get them killed for being threats to fragile helpless white girls

do you think the lady who calls 911 on black men birdwatching in the park is going to see a trans man of color in the womans bathroom and go "gosh! i never thought about it that way. you've really exposed the flaw in my arguement"? no. shes going to call security and that man will be brutalized or killed

(and dont even for a second think that woc will be safe either. i was getting side eyes and pointed questions long before i ever came out because my skin was brown and i had short hair. tmoc and our sisters arent fucking safe and we deserve better than being used as some white posters pithy "gotchya")

Stop only supporting trans men and trans women because you sexualize us. That's not as progressive as you think it is.

Support trans lives, not because we're hot, but because we're trans. And also hot.

Hi, I'm genuinely looking for an explanation here and not looking for an argument /srs

Can you explain how calling a transfem a TERF for spreading ideology that I genuinely assumed was included in the definition of TERFism is othering ? Not to be that guy, but I'm autistic and I'm having a very hard time connecting the points you're making, and I genuinely want to learn and understand what you're saying /gen

Again, I do hope this doesn't come off as hostile, I am genuinely trying to learn and understand better, and I want to be able to fix misconceptions about what a TERF is in my own mind, and I haven't seen anyone bring this point up before /gen

You absolutely do not have to answer this, but I hope you have a fabulous rest of your day, and I do apologize for what I said, as it wasn't necessary for me to comment on the situation.

Yeah totally! Okay, I got a lot of this from Ibram X. Kendi's "How to be Antiracist"* where he talks about describing "racist" as an identity means that hardly anyone is going to ever "identify" with it, even if they are a racist. It's much more helpful to talk about actions being racist or anti-racist. Someone committing racist acts speaks far more to the vulnerability of anyone to cause harm, rather than it being something ONLY reserved for someone with the identity of "racist". For example, Clarence Thomas, a black man, has done untold amounts of harm to the black population in the US. If we subscribe to the "oh, (X) can't be racist, they are (a minority)" train of thought, it means people are less likely to understand that Clarence Thomas commits racist acts. In the same way, describing yourself as an anti-racist is not enough, as it can let people be comfortable with racist actions because they think "oh, I'm an anti-racist, I can't commit acts of racial harm." That's why it's more helpful to describe acts as racist and anti-racist rather than framing them as identities.

In a similar way, describing someone as the label of "TERF" can have a similar effect. Because it's specifically a label centered around being anti-trans, transgender people of all kinds will easily assume they cannot be transphobic, because the label of TERF is ideologically opposed to their existence. It invites ridicule rather than introspection. By saying actions can be transphobic, I think it helps a lot more because it's easier to understand that trans people can be transphobic. For example, Blaire White is right there. Despite being a trans woman, she is actively doing transphobic acts. By calling out an action as transphobic rather than describing someone as a "TERF", it helps fight back against the idea that being trans means you cannot be transphobic. For a super duper simple example, I can step on my dogs tail, but it doesn't mean I hate dogs, it means I committed an act of harm against my dog. Describing me as a dog-hater when I LOVE dogs would invite ridicule more than it would a tendency to watch my step when my dog is in the house. I hope this makes sense!

*I'm not trying to say the Black and Trans experience is exactly the same, just that like any oppressed group, there is a lot of overlap in tactics and thinking, especially for people who are Black and Trans. Reading about other groups can really give you a ton of helpful insight on how to work within your own identity!

Trans people are not inherently intersex.

Medical transition does not turn a perisex person intersex.

Your brain is not a sex trait, you do not have an "intersex brain", you are not "neurologically intersex" because you experience gender dysphoria.

If you believe any of this you are being intersexist.

Do you have an observable (including through testing or otherwise) genetic/natal variation in the way your sex traits developed? If the answer is NO, you are NOT INTERSEX. You are perisex.

Perisex refers to anyone who is not intersex, elaborated, does not have a natal variation in their sex traits. This term does not invalidate your transition. It refers to a bodily starting point and it's only purpose is to differentiate you from those with a different bodily starting point. If you were born in Detroit you can't say you were born in Baltimore because you live in Baltimore now. That's not how this works.

Why is this important? Because the only other terms for our bodily differences are the pathologizing disorders & syndromes we are diagnosed with. I am not a person with a DSD, I am intersex goddammit. If that word is watered down, then I'll be forced to refer to myself as disordered if I want to talk about how my body and my issues are different from yours, exactly like what cisnormative society wants me to do. Congratulations for helping reify intersexist pathologization that gets us killed! How #inclusionist of you!

You can be sex variant as a perisex person through transition, but you cannot "become intersex", please stop saying fucking this. There are more of you than there are us. You are speaking over us. We are already invisible and you are NOT helping.

I'm never gonna get over the fact that in one conversation someone said "trans men are seen as deviant women" and then another person in the same conversation asked "why would trans men be the targets of misogyny? they're men!" It was so funny and fucking weird that I had to laugh and block everyone involved

"Masculinity is rewarded" have you ever spoken to a transmasc or a butch or a tomboy or any masculine woman/person perceived as a woman. Have you ever spoken to a gnc transfem.

The crux of the anti trans movement is a war on bodily autonomy. They don't want you to have any agency over what you look like, how you dress, who you date, whether to have kids, etc.

They want total control over you. Not just trans people. Not just queer people. You. Everyone.

Trans people are just a scapegoat. They want total control over everyone's self expression. They want the right to mold you into their perfect little cog in their dehumanizing machine.

Happy Trans Day of Visibility. Our rights are your rights. Our destruction is your destruction.