Daily Reminder That :

When someone makes transition all about passing. Ok, if your goal is passability, good for you but don't force it on other people. I hear it all the time: "What is trasition fpr if not passing? What is the point?" Or "If you don't want to pass you aren't trans" True trans liberation can only be achieved when we stop attributing gender and sex to external characteristics, this involves dismantling the concept of passability. Even if "passing" was something easy that any binary trans person could achieve, what about us, nonbinary? How do we externally communicate we are polygender, ambonec, agender, maverique?

this is exorsexism.

I am not a big Tumblr poster. Ok? I'm an observer in all aspects. A lurker, if you will. I don't reblog stuff. I barely even like things. I only follow people sometimes.

But recently I've been scrolling through the 'transandrophobia' tag a lot more than I used to. recently I've seen posts that send me into a train of thought that's like. "People really think like this?" And it's more tiring than I realize sometimes. So I'm putting my thoughts into this post.

I've recently watched masculine trans people and queer people of all kinds getting the short end of the stick. I watch people put others down based on their masculinity, and I think- if this is such a big issue when done to femininity, why in the world would you think it's acceptable to flip it around? Feminism has never been about saying that women are better. It's never been about hating men. It's been about uplifting women so that they'll be seen as equals, and breaking both men and women out of patriarchal mindsets. It's about uniting over the fact that no group of people is better than another.

Trans men and enbies and mascs do not have whatever perceived systemic privilege you think they do. Trans people in general will only ever have conditional privilege in specific situations, if that. Society only praises performative masculinity- the kind that fits into their neat little boxes of 'should' and 'shouldn't'. Masculine queer people have never fit into those stupid little boxes. Trans men. Mascs. Butches.

I'm tired of this. Tired of the 'femininity good masculinity bad' talk. You're not children. Grow up and learn some nuance. Trans men are whiny and annoying to you because they've never had the privilege of being anything other than invisible. Constantly erased and brushed off so when they start getting angry you see it as an attack because you haven't cared to see them before. You haven't cared to see them when they were scared. You haven't cared to see them when they were just begging to be seen. You haven't cared to see them as anything other than traitors or thieves or anything because until it's not about you anymore, you don't give a fuck. You only look at them when you're personally slighted by whatever they have to say.

What does it cost to have empathy for other's lived experiences? Nothing. When a group of people is telling you what they've consistently and repeatedly been through, you listen to them. You don't shut them down because of an immutable trait. You don't shut them down because you've never seen it happen. You don't shut them down because they're not your idea of someone who's oppressed. That's not how this works. People are angry for a REASON. Masculine queer people have every right to be angry. we've been pushed aside and had statistics ignored and been told that other people's oppression is more important than ours simply for what? the sin of masculinity?

Now, above all, trans people should be united. Instead of fussing over whatever sort of strawmen and caricatures you have in your head, we should just be listening to each other. we should be able to listen to other's lives and traumas and pains without throwing a fit over words or theories. Having words to describe oppression is important. Being able to label your pain is important. But none of that matters more than what's happening to people in their real lives. the people who are dying. The people who are being raped and silenced and shunned out of public spaces and even their own homes. No words will ever matter more than the people who are actively hurting due to your refusal to even look in their direction.

if you want to talk about this, be my guest. Ask me questions. Tell me I'm wrong. Whatever. I just have a need for this to be known above all else. I don't care what people on the internet think of what I have to say. This site is a fuckin cesspool. so's every other corner of the internet.

Thanks for reading.

the fact that people are genuinely, unironically arguing against the idea that you should listen to transmascs about the oppression they face is so funny to me

i cannot imagine telling a whole minority "we know your oppression better than you" because that just sounds like plain old bigotry to me

but dont worry, transmascs definitely dont face misogyny, even when people are telling them that they don't understand their own experiences, and they need to have their oppression explained to them because they're too simple to understand it themselves

Please stop forgetting nonbinary people!

Theyfab isn't a transmasc-specific slur. It's always been used against any nonbinary person assumed to be AFAB.

Though the AGAB of nonbinary people is nobody's business in the first place, it bears repeating that not every AFAB nonbinary person is transmasculine, just as not every AMAB nonbinary person is transfeminine.

These bigots aren't just transphobic towards trans men/mascs, they're exorsexist as well. We'll be stronger if we stick up for each other and push back against them together!

Edit: Just to make it clear, theyfab is being used against transmascs as well! I just want people to also acknowledge the non-transmasc nonbinary people being hurt.

Trans Solidarity Werewolves🏳️‍⚧️🌕

The changes you get when starting T are wonderful and should be celebrated.

Don't let anyone tell you that starting T will make you ugly, unlovable, or whatever other bullshit they pull out of where they keep their head.

If you'd be happier on T, start it. ASAP.

non-transmasc. before you is a transmasc person talking about their experiences with being transmasculine and the oppression that they experience for being transmasculine. the bomb detonates if you tell them to just call it transphobia, if you imply their oppression/experience is incorrect, if you tell them that they signed up for it for being transmasculine. begin.

we do not "love" to bring this up. it is traumatic. it is dysphoria inducing. it is capable of taking the lives of trans men/mascs that are forced to bring a child into this world against their will. stop fucking invalidating our trauma and oppression you absolute fucking transphobic asshole.

no one is fucking saying this is a privilege for trans women/fems. you are making up arguments in your head because you cannot handle the fact that you are being so disgustingly transphobic toward us so you have to pretend we are saying shit that was never said.

i will not be fucking silent about this. no trans men/mascs should be forced into silence when bringing up our very real systemic oppression. if it bothers you, then look inward.

i do just want people to be aware that, while "assigned sex at birth" has been widely reclaimed and generalized to general populations, it did not start through personal identification or as a positive term. it was coined between doctors to discuss what sex to surgically and socially assign intersex infants, children, and in some cases, adults. one example of a study using this term is here, mostly inspired by john money [its a heavy read if you decide to open it]. i do just want people to be aware of the history of this term before claiming that it is "coined by the intersex community"—it wasnt, it was forced on us by the medical community.

holy shit y’all should watch this one, what an admirable person