I Love Trans Women So Much

I think maybe the trans community would benefit from not just internalizing "trans men are men" but also "trans men are trans". Some of you really haven't unlearned basic transphobia and you think it's okay cuz we're men.

the fact that people are genuinely, unironically arguing against the idea that you should listen to transmascs about the oppression they face is so funny to me

i cannot imagine telling a whole minority "we know your oppression better than you" because that just sounds like plain old bigotry to me

but dont worry, transmascs definitely dont face misogyny, even when people are telling them that they don't understand their own experiences, and they need to have their oppression explained to them because they're too simple to understand it themselves

people on here will brag about how awful they are to AFAB trans people ("""TMEs""") like they're somehow getting back at the cishet queerphobes. i don't know how to break it to you that cishet queerphobes also hate AFAB people. you're not being progressive by doing the exact same thing but because AFAB trans people aren't "acceptable" trans people, or whatever. singling out and bullying and abusing AFAB trans people isn't helping society accept AMAB trans women any faster. admitting that you don't view them as trans is literal transphobia. it's the exact same shit you were taught by cisheteronormative patriarchy. you're not coming up with something new by finding even more ways and reasons to treat AFAB trans people like shit.

cisheteronormative patriarchy already discredits AFAB people and tells them they can't be reliable narrators and that they have no idea what they're talking about, especially with regards to their own identities and the decisions they make. this isn't feminism. this isn't gender or sex liberation. it's the opposite. you don't get to treat AFAB people like shit just like literally everyone else and try to put some kind of fake radical liberal spin on it to make it acceptable.

I really wish I could talk transfeminism to people in real life but I start saying stuff like "Men oppress women" really is too simplistic, and wrong. and, The patriarchy oppresses both men and women, and Cis men are rewarded for upholding It via misogyny, but Individual men aren't the patriarchy. people start looking at me funny

I think at the end of the day, my opinion on all flavors of LGBT+ label discourse will always be: “If you do not belong to a community, you do not get to decide what words that community gets to coin and use.”

If you’re not ace, you shouldn't tell ace people they’re not allowed to use aspec or aphobia.

If you’re not intersex, you shouldn't tell intersex people they’re not allowed to use intersexism or CAGAB.

If you're not a trans woman, you shouldn't tell trans women they can't use the word transmisogyny.

If you’re not a trans man or transmasc, you’re not allowed to tell them they can’t use transandrophobia. And you certainly can’t redefine the word to suit your arguments against it.

Hell, even if you are a part of a community, you don’t get to decide what words OTHER PEOPLE can use.

I’m agender. I don’t like it when people refer to me as an “enby” bc I’m not a huge fan of the word, but it’s not my place to tell other nonbinary people they’re not allowed to use it just because I personally dislike it.

You’d have to be a grade-a asshole to think otherwise.

Trans men do not have it easier than trans women.

Trans women do not have it easier than trans men.

Right now, trans women are dealing with hypervisibility. This means these women are the target of a shitton of gross caricatures and blatant transmisogyny in the news and in media. This means lawmakers will name trans women directly as they ban feminine transition and try to wipe them from existence. This means you can’t go a day without hearing about the horrible things happening to trans women all over the world.

Right now, trans men are dealing with invisibility. This means these men are the target of hate crimes that are never reported, or are reported as violence against women. This means lawmakers can sneakily ban masculine transition under the guise of “preserving female fertility” and “preventing young girls from mutilating themselves”. This means their stories don’t get as much attention, even when trans men get murdered in broad daylight.

No, this doesn’t mean violence against trans women never goes unreported, or that anti-transmasc caricatures don’t exist.

One group does not have it easier than the other- instead, they face transphobia that is enacted and enforced by society in different ways. Claiming that one is "better" than the other makes you a transphobe and contributes to the problem.

For the love of fuck please just TALK and LISTEN to people outside of your own community.

(I am aware this is an extremely binary take on this- I’m nonbinary myself, but I haven’t seen as many people arguing that nonbinary people have it easier. I’m sure there are plenty, if I haven’t already blocked their sorry asses.)

oh and also, trans women/fems should NOT be coining terms to describe the oppression that primarily trans men/mascs face. that is so incredibly fucking scummy on so many levels.

imagine i go "hm. actually, 'transmisogyny' is Bad and I Don't Like It so im going to decide on the word you should be using for yourselves because yall arent capable of meaningfully coming up with a word to describe your own oppression. i think 'transobjectification' is a better word for you all to use so stop using transmisogyny to describe your experiences now, thanks : ) "

that would be BEYOND disrespectful, it would be so extremely transmisogynistic of me to do that, so why is your coining of "transemasculation" not seen as RIGHTFULLY and DISGUSTINGLY transandrophobic.

AND THATS NOT EVEN MENTIONING HOW TRANS MEN/MASCS HAVE COINED SEVERAL TERMS TO TRY AND DISCUSS OUR OPPRESSION LIKE 'ISOMISOGYNY', 'TRANSMISANDRY', 'TRANSMASCPHOBIA', 'ANTI-TRANSMASCULINITY'. AND EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM HAS BEEN MET WITH THE SAME FUCKING RESPONSE. AT SOME POINT YOURE JUST GOING TO HAVE TO COME OUT AND SAY THAT YOU JUST DONT WANT US TO SPEAK ABOUT OUR OWN OPPRESSION AT ALL AND QUIT PLAYING THESE SHITTY SEMANTICS GAMES.

“Trans men want to infiltrate women’s spaces”

Actually, no I really don’t. It’s actually super fucking unpleasant for me to have to enter spaces that are explicitly designated as being for “women”. Unfortunately, because even a lot of progressives refuse to recognize my existence, I as a person with a vagina, uterus and ovaries have no choice but to enter these spaces because they’re the only ones offering what I need. But let me assure you of this: I don’t enjoy being in “women’s spaces”. It’s honestly quite alienating and dysphoria inducing, and if I didn’t absolutely have to do it, I wouldn’t.

Some of the main points I see used against aromantic and asexual people are narratives that go like:

You can't know you're aromantic or asexual if you've never tried dating or having sex. (Translation: you should date someone you aren't attracted to and have sex with someone you aren't attracted to just to be sure you aren't attracted to them).

You can't be asexual or aromantic if you've dated and had sex. (Translation: the actions of dating someone and sleeping with someone can only ever be motivated by attraction, directly opposing what was demanded in the first point.)

If you date or have sex with someone despite not being attracted to them then you are manipulative and deceiving your partner. (Translation: dating/sleeping with someone without attraction as a motivation is inherently Bad and Evil)

And like, I've come across people who believe all three points at once without seeing the hypocrisy of it all.

Anyways, you don't need to try out all possibilities in order to figure out your orientation. Most people don't go around demanding that straight people sleep with and date the same gender before being allowed to call themselves straight, and yet they'll demand that of aspec people without hesitation. At the same time, there's nothing wrong with trying stuff out. While certain actions can be motivated by attraction, they don't always have to be. People have sex without being attracted to each other all the time, for all sorts of reasons. There's nothing inherently wrong with that, and it doesn't necessarily determine your sexuality either.

And I think the last opinion comes from a) people's tendency to tie attraction to a bunch of other feelings that just sum up to caring about someone, and then translate the absence of attraction into the absence of even liking a person and b) the tendency to see romantic attraction as the highest emotion one can have for someone and seeing any other feelings as inherently lesser, therefore making such a relationship "unbalanced". And with the way most people view aromanticism it's very easy for them to jump to the conclusion that the aro person is obviously being dishonest and just using their allo partner for their own evil little plans. It's all bullshit and I wish people would realize how easily these arguments fall apart when looking at them critically.

It's because these people see "transandrophobe" as another word for trans women.

They assume anyone who agrees with the term is a trans man (yay, misgendering!) and that when we talk about people being transandrophobic, we all secretly mean "all trans women and transfems"

they refuse to acknowledge what transandrophobes actually are: anybody who is being a massive bigot to trans men, regardless of gender.

„Yeah transandrophobia is an ideology that believes misandry is real and trans women oppress trans men“ where. Please. I have been following this tag for months and I have not once seen this. I have only seen posts where people explicitly say that this is NOT what they believe. Like do y‘all just make this up? Or are you seriously this misinformed. I genuinely don’t know.