I Could Never Settle For An Ordinary Life. And I Don't Mean That I Want To Be Famous Instead, Not At

I could never settle for an ordinary life. And I don't mean that I want to be famous instead, not at all. I mean, I need something to overcome, something to fight against, something that brings out that fire inside me and makes me feel like I want to create a storm. I need adventure and discovering. I need tragedy and pain, so I can move on and conquer. I need to climb up high and feel the last rays of the sun hit my face before it sets and the sky explodes into colours dancing over the clouds, until the only light is from a thousand stars and all you can see is endless night sky. I need to feel the adrenaline and closeness from being on stage and performing something that makes the audience feel and think. I need to run until I am out of breath and feel every part of my body. I need to do something that soothes my longing. The longing that is tearing inside my chest a little bit every day. I don't know for what, but for something other than going to school and then home. Something other than endless circles and routines. I need to feel like I've gotten the air knocked out of me and can finally breathe again, like the earth has been swept away from under my feet and I've had to fall back down. Like I've finally had the first bite of food after feeling hungry for as long as I can remember. I need to feel like I'm hearing a piece of music that hits me right in the stomach for the first time. I don't know where I'll find it, but I know I'll never unless I break the pattern and don't waste my life doing pointless things with time that will never come back to me.