Obsessed With Cats That Bark

Blaise Zabini & Draco Malfoy, trip to Paris

Hangover Potion?

“Mr. Potter, that gesture may be sweet and touching but please remember you two are in class and not in your own world. I do not tolerate sleeping in class so please wake Mr. Malfoy up. I’ll see the both of you in my office after class.” - Professor McGonagall

(scene inspired from wzxz/fake slackers 🥺🫶)

DRAGON !!!

If you have not read this fic, please let this gorgeous bind (not by me, but for me in an exchange with another binder, @slbindery) convince you.

The fucking quotes! I suppose you could consider this a spoiler alert so I’ll hide them.

(Need I remind you to go look at this post of @littlewinnow’s now?)

I'm actually working on a typeset of the entire twenty-two cards series as a gift for the author, so at some point I will be sharing my own version. But for now, feast on this.

Hermione and Crooks

That same evening, after supper, Draco enters the Slytherin common room, black robes billowing behind him in a rather impressive Snape impersonation.

"Snake meeting in the den!" Shouts his sonorused voice.

One by one all Slytherin students file into the common room. Draco waits, brooding in a corner, arms crossed. When they are all accounted for, Draco speaks.

"Flint! Why did you tell Professor Granger about the ring?"

"I thought..."

"Yes, in the future, please refrain from thinking. All of you."

The students lower their gazes.

"Your job is to talk about me when Professor Granger can hear you, not tell her I want to marry her! I have to at least take her on one date first!"

A seventh year raises her hand, Draco nods.

"We talked about how handsome you are, she was sitting beside us on the Quidditch stands when you were acting as referee. She ogled you after we said your arse looked good."

"Thank you, Avery. See? That's what I want from you! No more mistakes."

“Hermione’s Little Helper” 🦂

Another “Measure Of A Man” by Inadaze22 fanart because there will never be enough art for this fic!

Normally, I post theories on this blog, and what I usually do is solve plot holes, but I'm currently rereading Deathly Hallows, and I honestly forgot how stupid some decisions there are. So, I'm compiling some of them here to maybe theorize and solve these plot holes later. But for now, I'm baffled.

1. I just reached the part where they started camping in the woods, and Harry just started being hungry, and I don't think I can adequately describe how dumb that is. Like, I can get wanting to stay hidden and stuff, but why not call Kreacher?

I mean, Harry showed in HBP he can just call Kreacher to him:

But the question was, how to call him? What did you do? Quietly, tentatively, Harry spoke into the darkness. “Kreacher?” There was a very loud crack, and the sounds of scuffling and squeaks filled the silent room.

(HBP, 419)

Why not call Kreacher and tell him to bring food to the tent? He's a house-elf, so he could apparate through their wards with no problem. They could've had Kreacher's cooking still, I just don't get it.

2. They didn't actually need to leave Grimmauld Place at all. The book explains it like this:

“Harry, I think he can. I—I forced him to let go with a Revulsion Jinx, but I’d already taken him inside the Fidelius Charm’s protection. Since Dumbledore died, we’re Secret-Keepers, so I’ve given him the secret, haven’t I?” There was no pretending; Harry was sure she was right. It was a serious blow. If Yaxley could now get inside the house, there was no way that they could return. Even now, he could be bringing other Death Eaters in there by Apparition.

(DH, 271)

But Yaxley wouldn't be a Secret Keeper, he couldn't bring other Death Eaters inside. This isn't how the magic works.

After Dumbledore dies, everyone he told the secret to becomes the Secret Keeper. Hermione is a Secret Keeper. She can reveal the secret to Yaxley by appparating him, but that doesn't turn Yaxley into a Secret Keeeper. It's just one Death Eater who knows how to get in that Harry and Co can kidnap, obliviate, or kill if they're really stressed about it. Yaxley couldn't bring anyone else inside regardless of how much he wanted to. He isn't a Secret Keeper, so all the other Death Eaters would've had to wait outside and watch the place the house should be in like they did up to this point.

And sure, Snape is a Secret Keeper but considering he somehow lied his way out of telling them the secret, even though we see Death Eaters stationed outside Grimmauld Place, I think it's safe to say, he wouldn't tell even after Yaxley knew and potentially returned with this information. I mean, the fact the Death Eaters are watching outside Grimmauld Place tells us Snape didn't tell them, and it should tell Harry, Ron, and Hermione Snape didn't betray the secret, as otherwise, the Death Eaters would've just broken in to search for them.

3. If we're talking of the Fidelius Charm and Secret Keepers, I don't get why Bill and Arthur Weasley have to be their own Secret Keepers. Why create this plot hole so late in the game? I mean, up until book 7, I didn't question why James and Lily had to have a third party as their Secret Keeper. It was just how the spell worked. Well, not anymore.

So, now I have to wonder why they were convinced they needed someone else, someone outside the house? Perhaps it was out of paranoia? So that if something happened to them anyway there'd be someone outside who could bring help?

4. And don't even get me started on the Battle of the Seven Potters. I mean, apparition or side-along apparition are completely viable methods of transportation, so why brooms? Wtf?

I mean, the Order makes this same ludicrous decision in OotP, when they transport Harry from the Dursleys to Grimmauld Place on brooms, so at least they're consistent in their stupidity.

Like, I could make an excuse for the use of brooms if they're trying to evade the Trace. According to how I believe the Trace works, the Trace wouldn't pick up on a broom the same way it didn't pick up on the flying Ford Angelica. It's an item already enchanted, magic isn't being cast, so it doesn't pick on it. So, while the Trace would pick up on apparition, it won't pick up on broom flight.

The problem with this is that in OotP we see the Order cast magic inside the Dursleys' house, making any chance of avoiding the Trace moot:

“Don’t be stupid, it’ll be much quicker if I — pack!” cried Tonks, waving her wand in a long, sweeping movement over the floor. Books, clothes, telescope, and scales all soared into the air and flew pell-mell into the trunk.

(OotP, 53)

And in DH, Harry is already 17, and the Trace shouldn't be a problem for him, so this excuse doesn't really hold water...

I'm sure I'll remember more as I continue reading, but these are the ones that really bother me now. Rant over (at least until I find a hopefully not super contrived way to make all this make sense in-universe).

If you can’t kill it, cook it