Please Tell Me I'm Not As Forgettable As Your Silence Is Making Me Feel.

— Franz Kafka, Letters to Milena

Things I learned from failing classes:

Failing classes can be a result of many things and not just your lack of understanding the material. Life, mental health, stress levels, sleeping habits, and poor communication can all factor into it

It is not a reflection of how good or bad you study, especially if you pass your other classes

Sometimes you need to take a class several times before you finally understand the material, even if you work your ass off the first 3 times you take it. Sometimes concepts just won't click and you just need to memorize tests. That's ok

Cry. Cry it out

Keep class notes and tests. They make amazing review material when you retake the class

When you retake the class, approach it like it's your first time. If you go through it like you know the material, you're going to miss key points and probably fail again

Emailing a professor probably won't help you too much. If you can, go to office hours and workshops instead where you can interrupt and ask questions as you go

Sometimes you just have a bad professor. When you retake it, try a different teacher. Different teaching styles and presentations can greatly impact your comprehension and retention of information

Be honest with yourself about where you failed and why. Focus on the material you suck at and try to relate it to the stuff you're good with.

Teach your pets. Go through the lesson and talk out loud to them and explain everything. You're much more likely to catch areas of concern when trying to teach the material

Your professors want you to pass (mostly) and it's their job to answer all your questions

You're paying for that class so be annoying and ask questions every 5 minutes. Save yourself some money

Teachers are more than happy to discuss with you your problem areas and provide materials to help you out. They're there to ensure your success. Reach out to them

There is no shame in retaking a class 5+ times. Don't let other people define where you should be. All that matters is that you keep trying

Don't take the class over each semester. Give yourself time to recover from the failure. Pushing it will just lead to frustration and failing again

Ask other students for help. Chances are they'll understand parts you don't and be able to explain it in a less formal manner

If you dwell on it or compare yourself to others, you're going to feed a depression and anxiety around that class, making it harder for you to pass

Don't beat a dead horse. Acknowledge that you failed and need to take a break

Failure does not define you and failing classes in your major doesn't mean that you picked the wrong field

“It’s hard to wait around for something you know might never happen; but its harder to give up when you know its everything you want.”

- Unknown

Just because we can't be together, doesn't mean I won't love you.

From Sage Enderton’s chapbook, WHERE DO DEAD GIRLS WANDER?, available at https://bottlecap.press/products/where-do-dead-girls-wander-by-sage-katherine-enderton

Yeah, there are liars but then there's you..mmm, in retrospect that's what probably brought me to you

Priest by Julia Michaels

They say a picture of you is worth a Thousand words,

But looking at you my memory is Somewhat blurred

Watched my efforts end in vain like blood

Thought my memories of you would stick like glue

Scrolling through my gallery

Pictures of you once took they toll

But now my heart feels nothing

In the midst of our forgotten dialogues

I shed no tears for what remains

I'm always one to remember the good Times

Yet with you I remember nothing

They always teach of true love

Never of true heartbreak

So, like they say in the scriptures

Blessed are those,

who have never met you they shall never know the meaning of true heartbreak

2017.12.17

Well you can't always be depressed or sad, at some point you have to smile ＼(◎o◎)／ because Why Not?