Pretty Boi 🌺

All for you

“Anything else to add my love, Countess ruler of my undead heart?”

“I shared the life of me so you may live. You are the best gift the world has ever given me. You will not die today, Eddie the Banished. Because if you did, I’d raze this place to the ground and myself down with it.”

[Excerpt from my thought library, where I spend most of the time writing an Eddie fic with a nonsense setting and simping for my bambi freak.]

I find myself lost in my own writing. I feel the wind on my skin and see flying beasts with eyes wide open.

If there has ever been anything true, is that I’ve always been one to get lost in words, when I can see them before they’re shaped.

I see it all so clearly. It’s like looking at a screen or a mirror. I dive into the projection and feel the breath of the world.

WITCH 🌺🌑🦇

I just had to repost it xd I mean, I love it! Kinda wish I had done it on black paper though. It would have been much cooler. Imma do more halloweeny stuff on my black sketchbook from now on.

When the crow cries, you know its watching.

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WEDNESDAY

Don’t get me wrong. I love Wednesday, I love Jenna Ortega and her performance as Wednesday was brilliant.

#spoilers

However, ultimately the show felt bland in the end to me, because the whole plot ended up revolving around the romance drama: of course, one of the romantic interests was going to be the villain and break her black heart. It was so painfully cliche. To me, as someone who writes and reads a lot, it was obvious from the start where the plot was heading, since the first scene with Thornhill in the dorms and Tyler at the coffee shop. Thornhill was actually better written though.

It was the love interests that just ugh, fell so flat and soured the experience for me. Both Xavier and Tyler were both written in JUST to add romantic drama because Wednesday’s a teen and as such she “should experience typical teen problems and boy problems”.

Which is absolute fucking bullshit in my opinion, not every teenage girl protagonist has to experience love triangles and romantic drama just because she’s a teenager, that is just a cliche trope that has been perpetuated by movies and series, but doesn’t portray the real life of a teenage girl. Besides, why would Wednesday ever need romantic drama? She’s a great character by herself, being how she has always being, she never needed other characters to make her “evolve” or seem more relatable or teen-like.

The cool thing about Wednesday has always been how unapologetic she is, she will be herself without giving a fuck about what others think of her, she will speak her mind always, specially when something that she perceives as “not right” (like the bullying, misogyny, white-washing retelling of history, etc) is happening in front of her; she’s different of course, but that’s what makes her so special, she’s not willing to change herself or bow down to society.

Wednesday has never needed love interests to seem more teen-like, or be more relatable. She’s great just like she is. The weak attempts at writing romance with Wednesday… holy gods they were so bland. Xavier and Tyler were added in with only that purpose, barely have any personality, not to mention having absolutely zero chemistry with Wednesday, at least romantically.

Tyler, if you ignore him being one of the antagonists, reads as a puppy-eyed white male who finds her intriguing because she’s so different from all the other girls he has met before, and since she pays a modicum of attention to him because she needs his help, he thinks she’s interested. Xavier reads as the boy who literally just broke up with a girl he liked, but could never trust, and his mind immediately grabs onto Wednesday as a new love interest because she’s someone who he has met before, and he knows how she is; she’d never lie to him or manipulate his feelings knowingly, he knows she doesn’t have the power to do that, so of course, in his mind she’s trustworthy and because she’s so different from Bianca, she’s perfect as a new crush.

Wednesday never gave them signals of being interested. And yet of course, typical, just because she seems to tolerate them, they automatically assume she likes them. Even though it’s clear from the start she’s just using them for her own means and ends, not actually bonding with them. Tyler is the normie who’d help her with the investigation and help her escape Nevermore because he has a car, and is conveniently the sheriff’s son, so she can keep an eye on his father through him. They had no conversations outside the ones related to the investigation, yet somehow they kissed…..

She barely talked to Xavier outside of the scenes where she snuck into his studio, those scenes being; the infirmary, the classroom, the burnt yard, the jail.

In none of those does Wednesday show any signs of being interested in him in any way, she tolerates him because they’re sort of childhood acquaintances, and he’s her suspect. And in those scenes, the lines they exchange-with the exception of the infirmary (because it’s the moment Xavier’s character is introduced)-are painfully brief and to the point. In fact, I don’t even think they talked in the classroom; Wednesday just looked at him and smashed the spider. She didn’t even say anything. The yard scene was after their fight in the studio and it’s only like 4 lines because they’re not on good terms, which again, were they ever really? And the jail scene is just full of tension and friendship heartbreak because Xavier perceived her differently than she is, and Wednesday is hurt by his words, even though she doesn’t seem to (but Ortega really is brilliant at expressing what Wednesday is feeling just with little face muscle movements. If you pay attention to her face, it is really easy to read how Wednesday is feeling in every scene).

In their efforts to add romantic interests for Wednesday, they ended up coming up with two extremely bland characters. Not to mention Ajax, who is not as bland, but still feels like kind of an unncessary addition. Honestly, the way they’re written, it’s painfully obvious that the purpose of the 3 boys is just to merely act as romantic interests and a stopper to the shipping between Wednesday and Enid, being like “oh but see? They both have boyfriends! Male interests! They’re not queer! They’re just really good friends and roommates!”

….. god that’s just terrible writing. Both read as heavily queer coded, and Enid is the only character Wednesday actually cares about and bonds with out of her free will, unconsciously (with the exception of Eugene, but he’s like a sibling to her). By the second episode, Wednesday is already showing signs that she’s starting to care for Enid, without being prompted to by anything else, circumstancial or otherwise. When they argue, Wednesday is hurt by it, saddened because she’s now alone; she keeps looking back at Enid’s side of the room and hopes to solve everything asap so it can all go back to normal. She’s again, hurt and disappointed when Thornhill shows up to tell her that Enid has requested to room with Yoko for the rest of the year, but tries to play it off. Wednesday is a character who perceives emotion as weakness, because it’s how people commit mistakes and get hurt, it’s what people use to manipulate each other, so she convinces herself that she doesn’t need emotion, including affection and caring about people.

Yet by episode 5, not only does she clearly care about Eugene, completely willingly and with no ulterior motive, she also cares about Enid’s feelings and talks with her easily, standing close to one another. She tries to tell Dr. Kinbott that she’s still as cold hearted as she was the first day, but it’s clear she’s trying to convince herself of it too, because although she has tried, she cannot help but care about them. She could have thrown away the snood when Enid was not looking, but she kept it, tried to avoid hurting her feelings by telling her she didn’t like it, and even wore it when they were investigating.

Enid literally turned into a werewolf in her hurry to get to Wednesday and help her. She fought for her and got scarred, and the first thing she says when she’s in her human form again is “where is wednesday?” And she’s worried, scared for her. She could have hugged Ajax when she saw him, but she just leaned into him for comfort, because she literally just turned into a huge beast, fought for her life, and is really shaken by it. In contrast, when she sees Wednesday she literally runs to her and hugs her tightly. And Wednesday actually reciprocates, hugging her tightly and hiding her face in her neck while Enid clutches her uniform in her hands. Wednesday didn’t hug Tyler even when they were kissing, she only let herself be held, but made no move with her own arms.

I could continue, but this is getting really fucking long. Point is: there is no fucking way Wednesday and Enid are not queer in some way, regardless what netflix may say (when one writes a story, the characters always evolve and develop beyond one’s imagination and thoughts, because they are characters, and ultimately, they are people). And Xavier and Tyler made no goddamn sense as love interests, yet sadly it’s already obvious that Xavier is gonna be endgame, unless they decide to actually make Wednesday x Enid canon. The show just felt like compulsive heteronormativity to me.

Highlands

A commission for a friend. An album/single cover for a song he made with other people from college.

I’m super proud of this one. I think I’m getting better at drawing actual backgrounds. The radio could look way better though :/

I still love the colors though ;b

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I’ve been wanting to be a writer since I was nine, when I sat down and wrote my first story (I made drawings for it and was very excited haha).

Since then, I’ve evolved a lot, having up to 24+ novel ideas in my mind and written down that I want to write.

And now I’m taking the decision of writing one of them for real, starting with the 3rd story idea I ever had, the first idea I ever had with real potential to become a great thing.

I’ve decided to take it seriously now, because I realize I’m not getting younger. If I don’t do it now, when the hell am I going to? Just fantasizing about getting published or noticed by an editor but not doing anything to make that come true, WON’T make your dreams come true magically, with 0 effort from you.

So, I’m currently writing the first version of my first fantasy novel Initiation, in wattpad, with some illustrations! After I’ve finished it on there, I’ll self-publish it on kindle and ibooks with extra parts and the real illustrations with color and extra deets and quality!

Daily sketch (with crayola)🌺✨٩(๑❛ᴗ❛๑)٩(๑❛ᴗ❛๑)۶

I made this today. At the beginning I wasn’t sure if I should color it and what to use if I did and I just sort of ended up experimenting with my crayola and complimentary colors.

I unexpectedly don’t hate it.

P.S: yes, I did make this sketchbook. I used some random colored paper I had and stacked them in order and sewed the whole thing with copic stitch (the covers were made from an old plastic folder I never used).

Yes, I do love sketching on colored paper. It gives it a certain 😤 hmph ✨✨✨ you know?

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My recent yt vid!

The week before a trip

I have one week left before my 2 week trip to Japan as a foreign student. I’m excited, anxious, sort of scared. Also absolutely overwhelmed by piles of homework the new semester has thrust upon me.

I worry for the coming trip and whether I have the language skills to stand out and socialize with everyone.

The coming weeks will likely determine what the next decade of my life will look like, and I find myself at a crossroads; will I go study a new career or specialization in Norway, or Japan?

I’ve been pondering that question for a while now. Whether I should go spend 4 years studying in Norway or Japan; to which country am I going to dedicate years of my life to?

Which one is safest for me? Which one will offer the most cultural enrichment and knowledge? Which will nurture my true nature?

I don’t know the answers. I suppose time will tell.

Mystical town. Urban sketches. #1, set of 10.

I did 10 sketches as part of the sketchbook I had to turn in as art college homework. I really enjoyed doing these urban sketches. At first I was really bummed with the idea, as drawing inanimate things, like buildings and such is not something I particularly enjoy. So I found a way to make it fun; stylize it in a way I’d like it and add something fun to it, something magical and mysterious that wasn’t there in real life. This way, I ended up seriously enjoying these urban sketches.

Because I procrastinated for so long, I had to do in like 5 days, 20 drawings for the sketchbook. I still tried to ignore the pressure and stress I felt and enjoy it, and I succeeded. It was honestly my favorite part of the semester, getting to finally stretch my creative muscles. By ignoring the pressure, and actually having fun with exploring new styles and ways to make my art look different, I managed to breeze through the sketchbook in time.

I’m really proud of those 20 I made, even these set of urban sketches that I really didn’t want to do at the beginning and wasn’t looking forward to. But I’m happy with what I created. Really happy.

Thinking they’d look great as short animations and prints. I’m totally doing that.

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