This Has Been In My Drafts For 10 Years

A heart that always understands also gets tired.

Unknown

"My favorite trope is enemies to lovers. is it? or do you think that someone is only capable of loving you after getting over their initial disgust of all your flaws?"

I never felt more attacked in my life.

Richard Papen is so damn real not because he was on drugs, not because he was an introverted weirdo. it's because he took one look at Francis Abernathy and decided to derail his entire life.

Higuchi’s Unrevealed Ability

my theory on what it could be…

i think that Higuchi’s ability will be called “Takekurabe” (Growing Up/Child’s Play) after her most famous work, and i believe it might have something to do with reincarnation. here’s why…

in this official art she is featured with red spider lilies, which are symbolic of death, but are also thought of as a bridge between heaven & earth…a reminder of the “cyclical nature of life & death”

Takekurabe also explores themes such as how life is fleeting. & also abt being forced into a role that you didn’t want, or wouldn’t have chosen for yourself

(plus potential foreshadowing: in this official art, Higuchi is surrounded by pinwheels— which symbolize childhood, but also the cycle of life, & the buddhist teaching of reincarnation)

back to reincarnation…

after being told that Akutagawa may never wake up, she reached out to him & a glow appeared around her hand— like she was activating an ability— before pulling away bc she remembered that he didn’t want her (or anyone’s) help

but this means that she’s able to give help in this sort of situation

additionally, the fact that she almost always appears in official arts w Akutagawa indicates that she will probably use her ability on him at some point, which makes sense considering his terminal condition

(note the pulse in the background, his bright eyes, & her white suit)

because we have yet to see her use her ability, i’m assuming that she can only use it once, so she’d be giving up her life for Akutagawa’s (a life for a life— his reincarnation)

this would imitate irl Higuchi’s unfortunately short life— with her having died at only 25 years old. it also makes sense to give her such a powerful ability since irl Higuchi is such an important figure in japanese history— japan’s first professional woman writer of modern literature

now for a less likely, but fun theory…

i wonder if Higuchi’s sister has anything to do with her ability (in bsd she’s unnamed, but her irl sister’s name was Kuniko so that’s what we’ll call her)

according to Higuchi’s bungo episode, despite her literary genius, irl Higuchi was practically useless without her sister

Kuniko was the one who made what Higuchi did possible & kept things functional behind the scenes

so i think it’d be super interesting (& a cool irl reference) if Kuniko was involved in some way with Higuchi’s ability (i also just want to see more of her bc this sister duo is so cute :’))

bonus: when i watched this anime adaptation of Takekurabe, this was the ending scene & i wonder if it was harukawa’s inspiration for this official art 🥹

white lilies represent purity, & since they were off by the side of the road, they might have represented the character’s fleeting purity. white lilies are also used at funerals to represent a soul’s return to purity & its journey to the afterlife… which circles back to the reincarnation theme 👀

А моря…

i was listening to you're so dark and the idea of chuuya stumbling upon that song after dazai defected is so funny to me like imagine ur 18, ur 3 yr long situationship (guy that coerced u into joining the mafia) disappeared off the face of the earth and also arctic monkeys just released AM

Dazai in a dress supremacy

Just a drawing break from writing the souheki fic lol. I absolutely love how this turned out

(•'ω'●)♡

don’t stare at the moon too long or else you’ll remember that nothing in this stupid fucking world makes sense

They look so funnysilly in this particular official art it makes me giggle like a little girl

“Why would the universe go through all that trouble to bring us together, to only make us strangers again in the end?”

— Unknown