My Mind? Ive Lost My Mind. Ive Lost Everything! The Man I Love, My Best Friend. Although Now Apparently

so you are trying to tell me that men can have long hair but the second they put on feminine clothes they are being told they are *not straight* ? and women can wear whatever they like but when they cut their hair short and have an undercut they are, again, *not straight* ?

kinda funny innit, mate?

Number One Declaration of Hatred

I do a silly dance and you look at me like I grew a second head with three ears. You ask me what was it I DONT KNOW! It flees from my mind the second I realise you are one of those people. There was no intention behind it but now i must ask: do you perhaps dispise me?

i know its rude to make assumptions but my gut tells me my bitchass sister is stealing my goddamn shampoo and im going totally mad rn like know your borders you dried out grape

having no tasty cheese is like experiencing a sensation that resembles being punched in the gut. today i have been punched in the gut several times, consequently as many times as i have opened the refrigerator.

if I slept enough you wouldn't stand a chance

"it's time to post something funny" whispered my narrator, but little did we know it was my sister.

my job is The Bench (specifically at a nice park only during nice days)

you never know what the future will bring, as for now my parents are comparing their duolingo leader boards

"im highly in need of your assistance" i say to my narrator

to people who don't bring sandwiches to school:

what's your deal?

how are you here?