NS 289 - Raisin Center, Michigan By Tyler Pate Via Flickr: Westbound Norfolk Southern Train No.289 Blow

a sweet child

- Jimmy Fallon’s Monologue; June 18, 2014

The Last Jedi - Teaser

WOW!

The teaser for The Last Jedi just landed and… wow. I’ll say this, 17 years ago I spent a LOT of time at the message boards on TheForce.net. We heavily debated the meaning of ‘bringing balance to the force’. How that prophesy was dangerous and how Anakin actually did bring balance by slaughtering Jedi, and how at the end of ROTS there are two Sith and two Jedi.

Balance doesn’t mean killing Sith, it means, evening out Sith and Jedi out so they are in check.

So at the end of this trailer, when Luke says “It’s time for the Jedi to end.” He means that to save the galaxy, there can be no more Jedi. If there are Jedi, there will be Sith, and the galaxy can’t handle that any longer. I bet that’s why he was in hiding. 

MAN, I do not want to wait until December to watch this movie. On top of Rian Johnson being my favorite working director, making a film in my favorite franchise, I want to know if I was right 17 years ago!

Aries | March 21 to April 19 Like a Phoenix rising out of the ashes, so too will you frighten a number of small children playing inside that ball pit.

Taurus | April 20 to May 20 Everyone laughed when you said that global warming would destroy the planet, but that’s primarily because you had your pants down at the time.

Gemini | May 21 to June 20 Lately it seems like every time you open your mouth something terrible happens. Don’t be alarmed: This is what is known as “food poisoning.”

Cancer | June 21 to July 22 Your creativity will skyrocket this week, moments after purchasing a number of colorful and hilariously incongruent wigs.

Leo | July 23 to Aug. 22 They say it’s impossible to survive without daily human contact, but then the Glowing Orb Beings from Muugaave-6 have ways of keeping you alive.

Virgo | Aug. 23 to Sept. 22 Nobody understands the excruciating pain you’re going through. Although having to listen to you drone on and done about it is torture of a whole different kind.

Libra | Sept. 23 to Oct. 22 You’ll wake up tomorrow morning to find a baby on your doorstep, just like you have for the last three and a half weeks.

Scorpio | Oct. 23 to Nov. 21 The ancient martial art of karate should only be employed for self-defense, or in your case, any time you drink too much and decide to ruin everyone else’s night.

Sagittarius | Nov. 22 to Dec. 21 It’s not the size of the ship, but rather the motion of the ocean that will cause your girlfriend to get sick during intercourse.

Capricorn | Dec. 22 to Jan. 19 The cheese stands alone. The cheese stands alone. You idiot—what are you doing!? Guard that damn cheese!

Aquarius | Jan. 20 to Feb. 18 Paved roads aren’t exactly a new innovation, but you still manage to get excited every time you see someone get run over.

Pisces | Feb. 19 to March 20 You will finally land your dream job this week, an ironic achievement considering how little you’ll be sleeping from now on.

i think if you stopped time and brought a gorilla to a new york deli and then started time again it wouldnt even be startled like it would immediately peruse the menu and order a reuben in sign language

these are actual diagnoses from my dr appt today

A Beautiful Green Tree Snake.