Hey, Your Work Its Very Good , I Love Your Style Of Writing , So Dont Give Up!! I Send All Of Mi Suport

Being a writer like

The beginning? Yeah, got that covered.

The ending? Totally! It’s awesome, got all that planned out already.

The middle part? Uh… ???????

rma isn't flat or boring at all. i read the first chapter and was hooked IMMEDIATELY, and then read all of it in one sitting. i'm super excited for more chapters cause it's now one of my favourite fics heheheheh

thank you so much 😭💕 this means a lot to me! Im so happy to hear its your favorite. I really believed it wasnt good at all; so thank you sososoososo much! The chapter has 1500 words, but is nowhere finished. Maybe its 20% done? Hehe. 💦💦 ;; I will try my best to finish it soon!

e m p t y / 14

shingeki no kyojin | series [various x male!amnesiac!reader] summary: [Name], an amnesiac boy awakes in a unknown place – trying to remember anything makes him have horrible headaches. Who is he? And why he can’t remember his own face? masterlist

chapter fourteen

seek

“Nothing is going to work, XXXXXXX.”

”Don’t speak so negatively— this kid is our future.”

”Our future? XXXXXX, we have no future! Yeah, he controls it, then what? Can we return from the death? Of course fucking not!”

”I believe in him. He will be one of the people who free us all— you heard him, didn’t you? This kid is strong.”

”Is that what you call strong? The brat can barely handle a headache, and that’s where he cries like a goddamn baby. This kid is not going to be a hero, nor a savior. This world is condemned to fail like in the beginning.”

”He wouldn’t suffer much if you weren’t so intrusive onto him,” they sigh, “the XXXX may have kill us all, but our destiny made us stay together— we have to protect this child.”

“How the fuck can we protect if we’re not there, and this kid doesn’t bear a damn headache?”

”He won’t try to remember— he knows the pain well.”

”That’s right, XXXXXXX. W——, stop being like this— [Name] will get a concussion or get ill like before. The child has had enough already.”

”As if I care. It’s not as if I have faith in the first place,” he sighs, “we should have stayed hidden... the X?#! was a son of a bitch for doing what he did. Why the fuck did we returned?”

”We can’t let the past repeat again— this world doesn’t deserve that.”

”Humanity deserves it.”

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"—me]! Enough sleep!"

"Hmn...?" He opens his eyes slowly, recognizing Jean with an annoyed expression— [name] noticed he was already ready for training, "how tiring..."

"If you don't wake up now you will in three hours— so get dressed already,” he helps [Name] sit, getting his messy hair out of his face and talking to him to not fall asleep again. Marco was near to learn about how to wake up [Name] properly, as he was his partner. He didn't say it out loud, but [Name]'s sleepy and messy hair was a pretty cute and funny look.

The thought made him blush, looking at the side in shyness, "What I'm thinking?!" He smiled sheepishly, rubbing the side of his neck.

Successfully making [Name] getting off the bed, he stretches like a cat. Looks like Jean has already placed his uniform on the bed to not make it more difficult to him. "Thank you, Jean."

His friend sighs, gritting his teeth. Irritated by such careless attitude, Jean ordered him, "just dress already, okay?"

"Aaaah? Jean looks like a mom! HAHAHA!" Connie jokes, laughing with everyone else. This makes Jean's blush worse, not liking the spotlight one a bit.

This is what I was trying to avoid!!! DAMMIT!

"S-SHUT UP!"

“You are talking too loudly,“ [name] rubbed his eye, frowning. They were so loud in the mornings— he couldn’t wait for their day off to sleep as much as he wanted.

“That will be necessary to make you stay awake, don’t you think?" Marco chuckled sweetly, helping [name] to button his shirt. “[name] does look as cute as a kitten, but he is strong, or even stronger than Annie... For some reason, I feel... safe,” he thinks with a tint of scarlet on his face, finishing his actions. It was true— [Name] wasn’t an idiot, much less clueless. Marco believed his friend stood his ground with whoever, and if [name] noticed the true dark intentions of others, they would pay a big prize for it. He had to be just waken up from that slumber in which the freckled boy wouldn't leave him alone.

“That's annoying,” he yawns, "I can't wait to sleep in the woods again..."

“The woods? Wouldn't that be dangerous? You don't know how many wolves can be there! Or even bears!!"

"Bears are cute," [name] blinked, "I wouldn't mind."

"Don't say that!!! They are dangerous!"

"But cute," he chuckled, "do you think Reiner would win a fight with a bear? Bertolt is huge, but I think Reiner would win."

Marco blinked a few times as he processed the sudden question. Laughing, the freckled boy imagined such scene. "What was that question for?"

"Dunno— just thought about it," he stands up, seeing Marco finished buttoning his shirt. "What are we doing today?"

"Oh—! We are doing a training in the woods! I think it's a survival thing— so maybe we would be there for two days," he smiled, "isn't that exciting?"

"The woods?" [name] grinned.

"You won't find a bear, [name]!"

"If I'm lucky maybe I would be paired with Reiner..." he mutters, tapping his lower lip with his finger.

The freckled boy sighed, amused by such interesting person. [Name] could be incredible when he wanted— he sure said silly things, but when the situation was needed he was responsible and took things in a serious manner. Analyzing him was interesting and funny— it was as if Marco was watching a deer from a hide place, observing and taking notes. [Name] was sure different, but Marco couldn't pin point what was the thing that made him who he was— his unusual eyes? the mark he had on his shoulder? the stuff he said? his motivations? He couldn't describe it, but it was pleasant to spent time with him.

"—co. Marcooooo..." [name]'s voice filled his ears. He didn't even notice him losing himself in his thoughts, "what were you thinking about? Are you sleepy?"

Marco gently laughed, rubbing the back of his neck. "Sorry— I was just thinking," he looks at [name], "we should go for breakfast— there's still time, so let's go!"

[name] blinked, tilting his head. It wasn't often Marco got lost in his thoughts, "...okay," looking at Jean, who was still fighting with Connie, [name] spoke out of him, "we are going to breakfast, Jeanbo!" and with that, [name] took Marco's hand to leave with a grin on his face. He didn't want to stay and hear Jean's yells at him— he could hear Connie's laughter as he repeated the nickname. Jean is going to be angry at me... Oh well.

Marco just laughed, amused. He really never wanted training days to end.

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As breakfast finished, Marco left first to get ready with Jean— the both of them were eager for today's training. [Name] took his time to finish, leaving the barrack to find the others. Unfortunately, some other thing made him remember how unlucky he could be.

He bumped into someone else, making the poor victim fall on the ground. 

"I'm sorry— I didn't see you," [Name] spoke with worry, offering his hand to the other to take— it was a petite blonde girl. The boy blinked, tilting his head as he saw the resemblance of a pretty doll. Hmn... I know her. What's her name...?

But when their hands touched, an electrifying sensation passed trough arm to his eyes, making them freeze in the spot. It seemed the girl felt it too, because her friend quickly hushed [Name]'s hand from her, making them wake up from the strange daze.

P̷̟͑r̸̨̢̛͙͕͈̲̻͓͔͍̣̮͋̍͒̃̈́͜x̴̧̘̯̹̦͙̭̜͉͔̙͍̫͆͑̉#̴̨̢͉̲̥̞̤̣̦͕̹̙͌̾̅̏́͂͋̅ë̶̙̭͔̞̥͌̇̇̄͝x̷̮̺͍̗͍͖̟͙͛͜ͅx̶͙̭͗̂͛̌͝ ̵̢͚͍̙̪̜̙̜̣̭̮̦̠̅̑̅͋̈͌̈́̄ͅẍ̶̧̨̢̮͉̻̮͍̳͔͚̺̖̝̮́̂̄̋͌͆̏̆!̶̪͉̞̲͍͙̟̮͈̫̗͖̔̀̕#̴̱̠̄̑̂̈̍̈́́ ̷̨̡̢̧̥̜̼̪̐͌̂͊͊̐͌͘K̶̞̤͚̗̳̈́̏͗̚͠į̶̍̐̽͐̐ņ̶̝͕̮̺͓̄̋̊͜͝g̶͈̗̹̑͋͠ ̴̢̱̹̳̹̠̱̖̪͆̓̀̎̓̕f̵̳̤̮̒̇͂x̸̧̗̦͓̱̖͙̞̩̤̤̠̦̜͆̃̅͗̑̂̕x̶̧̤̖͈̥̰͎͇̻̙̰͇͇̠̉̂́̓̍͊͂͘͜͝x̵͈̲͖͕̺̘͎̤̠̳̪̋͌̃͑̉̈͌̃̍̚͝ ̵̛̪̝͔̖̖͓̠͖̖͕͒̎̏̐̽̀M̴̘͕̲̥̯̍̈́͗̒̃̑x̷̟̳̄̔#̴͔̣̺̭̯̪̒̄͌͋̔̃͐̓̍̃̊̽̚͝%̴̧̧̣͔̻͎̳̉̎͐̃̍͐͊̈̽͗̉͘̕͠͝x̸̛̦̬̦͇͙̲̙̻̙̜̊̈́͛̋͆̂̓͜͠ỵ̸̡̣̖̟͈͂͋̏̈́̑̓̈́̚!̷̢͉̰̯̳̺̪̟̪͓̰͚̖͖́͠

  "What the hell are you two doing? You look like weirdos," she narrows his eyes to both of them, curious about such strange interaction, "is this a secret code to make me not know what you are talking about, Christa?"

"Of course not! We just..." She sees [Name], who has the same unnerved aura she has. What was that? “We had an electric shock!” she chuckles awkwardly, trying to light the mood. 

It was strange, yet familiar. He had felt the same thing when he met Reiner back in the refugee— he had small electric shocks with other people before, but these two interactions felt much different. Nevertheless, [Name] doesn't think much of it and looks at the two girls who are staring at him intently. Blinking, the boy scratches his neck a little bit, feeling unnerved by the stare of the brunette girl. It looked like she was observing— it was an intense stare. [name] wanted to leave.

"Sorry, again," he speaks in a gentle tone, dusting the girl's clothes for her. Not liking him touching her one a bit, the tall girl slapped his hands off of her, surprising the boy by such rejection and force.

"Hey! Hands off of my Christa!" She spoke loudly, tightly hugging the blonde girl.

[name] frowns. ”Yours...?”

"Ymir! He's just helping out, let him be!" she spoke with a pout, turning to [Name], "don't mind her, she's always this dumb,"

"You break my nonexistent heart, my love,"

Ymir... What... a peculiar name was that... Ymir, Ymir, Ymir... Ymir?

  W̸̗̼̖̯̲̠͙̐ė̴̪̜̥̔͐̂̔̂̅͒̒͑̍͘͠͠ ̸̣̥͒͌̀͌͋f̵̣̫̥̼̠̟̪̏͒͆̃̏͒̈́̋͒͠͠ì̵̠̥̺̹̦̈́̅̊̽͒̐͝ͅġ̷̢̲̥̤̱̦̳͎̭͉͓̠̖͛̒͛̄͝ĥ̵̺̻͓̻̼̳̟̫͆̃̂͐̿̊̔͗̉͌̅̂̚͝t̵̢̞͚̥͎̭̗͍̖̂̿̆̉̆͛̕̚̚ ̴͉̣͕͍͇̎̑̋̓̽͆̋̾̓̈́͠f̴̺͎̦̖͕̪̳̹̅̒̒͌͆̆͗͑̊̂͋̽͒ǫ̶̲̰̣̣̤̩̈́͜͜͝ŗ̸̳̀ ̷̨̢͚̮̯͎̫̹̞͓͕̝̠̬̻̀̿̏̊ǭ̸̨̼͚͈͕̯̲̭̄͜͝ͅu̷̢͉̟̮̝̖͎̗̙͌̓̕͜͠ͅṟ̸̳̥̟̹̦̲̺͖̲̺͂̐͛͒̂̈̅̓̕͝ ̷̢̡͈̯̗͙̄̓̄̂̈́͘͜͝ͅğ̵͎͔̝͇̥̰̭͕̘o̷̡̳͌̍̓̓̅̍̆̆ḑ̶̹̬̯̿̆̐d̸̼̞̩̝̪̱͔̥̪̩̈ȩ̴̢̝̖̺̫̦̠̪̫̅̈́̅̀́͋͋͜͠͝s̶̲̜͕̓͌̕͝͝͠s̶̛̟̰͉͍͇̰̰̖͎̹̣̮̗̩͋̀̓͆͂̈̕ ̸̢̭̯̳̜̣̯͓̘̣͛̈̀̈́̑Ỹ̶͚͉̀͜m̶̡͖̜̤̻͉̟͂̉͐̈́̎̄̎̚͘ǐ̷͇͉̯̣̉̔r̷̢̧̛͇̬͖̫̝̤̞̦̲̥̱̃͊̒̎͝—̸̗̲̞̺͇̥̬̝̼̩̻̓͌̈̓̓̎͝͠͠ͅ ̵̮͖͈͕̹̈́O̴̟̜̳̰̹͕̕͘ų̴̛̣̘̘͇͆͆͌̐̌͗̃͊̏̔͋͠ȑ̷̡̳̺ ̷̻̈́̏̔̂͒͗͗͋̓̕c̵͚̮̠͍̹̠̲͙̞̱̬̞͜͝r̵̨͈̗̰̞̳̤̰̦͇͎̥̱̮̦͒̅̄͑̕e̷̡͖̲͓̺̳̺̪͚̼͋̌̈́̃͒̏͒͒̐̀͑̎̆͜a̵̛̤̙͚̹̞͇̩̤͚̞ţ̸̛͔̤͖̺̖͇̀̀̇̐͊͑͒̎̎͒̕͜͝o̷̢͓̤̠̓̈̈͆̽̆̓͊͑͘r̸̢̼̈̎̐̒̋̊.̴͇͔̻͕̖̤̥͙̩̟͈̹͙̾ͅ

      There was an inexplicable feeling— he didn't want to leave them. No— not them, but her. The feeling told him to stand by the blonde’s side and protect her for any threat, even if they were in a safe place. [Name] didn’t understand— what threat would he protect her for? Why would he? Frowning, [Name] decided to just ignore these thoughts, not pleased by another weird thing happening to him once more.

”See you around, I guess?” He tilted his head, feeling the urge to leave already. He didn’t like this feeling— something inside his chest revolted, as if it wanted to be freed. Something whispered over his ear, a bodiless voice with no gender nor soul— something and not someone.

”Oh, okay! See you around!” The petite girl gave him a beautiful smile, and if [Name] could guess, it looked like one of his mother’s. The brunette frowned at him, narrowing her eyes and staring over her nose. Seemed she was observing whatever he was trying to hide— [Name] just wanted to flee, and that’s exactly what he did.

Already leaving, he clenched his shirt, frowning. His unnerving feeling didn’t go away— his chest felt like burning, the tip of his fingers shaking; almost feeling as if needles pinch trough his skin. What was that feeling? If [name] could describe it, he didn't feel himself. Or to be more precise, his thoughts and mind didn't feel his'. It was strange— he felt as if those thoughts had been forcibly inserted into his brain by someone else.

"I don't like this. It's scary," he muttered to himself, moving the tips of his fingers in nervousness. "Creepy, creepy, creepy..."

  Ț̵̛̰̥͔̞̪̱̈̔͋̽̈͑̈́͑͝h̸̡̛̤͚͉̞̠̦̠̞̹̥̞̽́͊͒͆̒͒͛̈̈́̚͜͝ḯ̴̥̗͋̋͋̉̃̓̆̃͜ͅs̴̨̳͚̮̯̰̻͈̥̤͈̐̿̃͌̐͘ ̶̻͎͗͌̒̌̎͋͑̊̋͒͠g̶̦̙͇͕̜̤͚̥̥̍̒̾̔̑͗̕͜e̶̫̰̿͋̈́̍̊̒̋͜t̵̨͇͕̯͖̬̮̞̙͔̬̖͖̺̉͒͒̈̑͌̉ͅs̵͖̞̭͇̑̾̃̍̈́͛̚ ̸̢̨̪͓̠̘̻̗̠̙͐͐͆͒̊͌̏͑̇́͋̇̓e̶̡̘͔͙͕̪̳̟̯͙͙̺̦̎̑̋̓͌͋͜v̷̰̫̼͎̝̾̂̊e̷̢̛̟͍̠̗͈̱̺̒̄͒̿͂͗̆͌̇̾͒̌̚͝ͅͅń̵̜̤͓͔̲̽͊̎̈̋̇͒̔ ̶͓̋͌̇͒̉̃͗̈́́͋͠͠͝b̸̛̺͇͖̙̟̹͎̫͔̮͎͉̒ề̶͈̮̱̞̚t̵̮̫͕͒̎̐̄̆̒͋̄̍͜ţ̵̧̢̫̭͓̼͕̲̜̼̪́̔̈́͆͒͐̓͑ę̸̢̯̮̓̇̅ͅr̸̥̰̭͐̏̓̊̂̅̑̐̏̀͒̈́̾͘͠ͅ,̸̡͕̲̱͍̭̩̲͍̯̙̈͂̏̂͠͝ ̵̢̤̳̬̺͙̙̳̣͚̺̟̘̂̆͗͋̇͑̽͌͛̏̈́͂͠ͅ—̵̖̱̪̳̦̅̄̔͠ͅ.̸̟̈́͂̄̓̑̋̃͘̚̚̚

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"Today's training is simple— as simple for maggots like you. First, you and your team will have to go to point A to B to collect a flag, then C to A again. Teams are already been done, and if I hear you want to switch places I will throw you to the ground and make run laps until you pass out," the taller man watches, "the teams will be maximum of three— a backpack will be given to each member with different utilities. The test should be done in two days or three days, depending on how incapable can you be. Someone has to keep a record of any circumstances going on during your training. Now, we will say the teams, so pay attention— SPRINGER! STOP LOOKING LIKE AN IDIOT AND LISTEN!"

”Jean Kirstein, Eren Jaeger, Thomas Wagner,”

”Fucking hell!” [Name] could hear Jean cursing.

[Name] hides his grin. ”Fucking.”

”Stop!”

”Mikasa Ackerman, Annie Leonhardt, Mina Carolina,”

"Daz —, Marco Bodt, Sasha Blouse,"

”Bertholdt Hoover, Reiner Braun, [Name] Knight,”

[Name] blinked, looking for Bertholdt’s face in the crowd. When he spotted him, he waved enthusiastically with sparks on his eyes. Bertholdt gulped, returning the wave weakly with a nervous smile. The taller boy could notice [Name] seemed... a little eager when they paired up in training. He had deduced it was his height, since [Name] always liked to ask about how he got so tall. It was a weird topic of conversation, but that's how he was— an unpredictable and a bit strange guy. Nevertheless, the tall boy was lucky enough to have Reiner by his side this time.

As the teams were together, the three teammates took their backpacks as they conversed. Bertholdt took a look at the map, analyzing the directions they had to take.

”Looks like we are together this time,” Reiner speaks to him with a grin, “heard you got second place the other time, tho.”

”I think we were lucky,” [name] scratches his neck, “I don’t know how will I go with directions...”

The three of them walk trough the woods, Reiner sparing a glance at the other teams taking other directions. ”We are going to be just fine— leave it to me and we’ll be safe and sound.”

[name] tilts his head, staring at Reiner with fake innocence. ”And if we encounter a bear? Maybe wolves? If it rains?”

”Fortunately, it will rain before any of the others appear.”

”What if... the titans appear? What then?”

Reiner and Bertholdt quickly share a look, before turning to [Name]. The boy’s eyes stare at nothingness for a moment, awkward silence prevailing. Neither of the two say anything— it sounded... almost cryptic, if he was hiding the real meaning of that question. Bertholdt felt a shiver trough his whole spine, creeped out by the tone [name] used. It was quite frightening... how someone so... like him, used such tone at them.

“That’s too dark,” [Name] yawns, breaking the horrible tension as they walked again, “hope we can see a bear. They are cute.”

”You... can say pretty scary things, uh, [Name]?” Reiner laughs nervously, sharing a look with Bertholdt. That was... strange.

”Sometimes we have to imagine every possible outcome, don’t you think? We have to be prepared,” playing with his hair lazily, the boy looks at the sky, “mmmh... the sky... it sounds different.”

”Different...?”

[Name] hums, “raining’s coming, possibly.”

”How can you tell?” Reiner stared at the sky, looking as bright as ever. There was no difference from other days— it had stayed sunny.

[name] shrugs. “Dunno— it’s just sounds different. As if I was hearing... steam.”

”You really are something else,” Reiner laughs, amused by such ability. “How much can you hear anyways? Are you nosy, perhaps?”

”A lot, actually. And no, if I’m not paying attention I don’t understand what others are saying— if the topic takes my attention, then I would know many secrets others have,” [name] answered indifferently, taking a closer look at the map as he rested his head on Bertolt's arm. The taller boy blushed by the proximity, a bit intimidated and uncomfortable by the statement.

The last sentence did sent a shiver down their spine— [Name] could have spoken with such a laid back and careless tone, but the two couldn’t help but feel something personal against those words. Sharing a quick look, Reiner chuckled to lighten his own mood and relax his tensed shoulders.

”Are you willing to blackmail? A such cutie and small kitten like you?” 

“Well, this small kitten made you scream in combat training,” [Name] stuck out his tongue, narrowing his eyes in an offended way. “Blackmailing is bad anyways. I’ve read in novels that’s just the lowest of the low, and it’s such a pitiful tactic to use. So I will never use it. Roderick taught me that," [name] proudly spoke— as if he was telling them the entire truth of the world.

Reiner blinks, “you know, I’ve hearing you say a lot of things you learn on books— isn’t that a bit... unusual to say at our age?”

”Why? Books have a lot of answers I can learn. They speak the truth,” he puffs his chest in pride, “also they never disappoint.”

Reiner stares at him with narrowed eyes, debating what to ask. Should he go deeper or touch the surface...? He was kinda curious of [name]'s mind— he had heard him speak like this before, and his unusual behavior made him conclude something. Nah, let’s go in. “What’s sex?”

Bertolt chokes on his own saliva, calling Reiner’s name in a flustered tone. "R—Reiner! W—What?!"

As the blond expected, [name] said the same exact explanation he spoke to Jean back then. What he noticed was how sure [name] looked, not even embarrassed or unsure about the answer. Bertolt widened his eyes, blinking in amazement.

”...for the walls,” Reiner can’t help but laugh at such childish answer— where the hell was he in class? How could [Name] in this age say something like that? It amused him; even Bertolt averted his blushy face to hide his smile by such answer. It was a funny situation, really.

“Why are you laughing?” Jean didn’t laugh— well, his reaction wasn’t better. [Name] felt personally attacked by such reaction— was he really wrong? And for them laugh at him like that!

”I can’t believe this,” he passed a hand trough his face, “[Name], I’m not going to teach you something like that in a deep explanation. But I will say what you imagine what sex is goes much deeper than that,” even if he could be a horny teenager, no way in hell he could take more advantage than simple kisses [Name] gave him. Even when he looked so cute the other day— if [name] didn't even know what he was doing, then there was no fun in doing it. So that's why you don't fluster! Got you.

”Why won’t you?” [name] frowned, crossing his arms in irritation. 

“Grab a book about the human’s anatomy and then we’ll do the adult talking,” Reiner smirked, walking ahead of him without saying another word. 

As the amnesiac concluded he wasn't going to cooperate, he turned at Bertolt, who blushed like crazy because of the topic. ”Can you tell me why I’m wrong, Bertolt?” [Name] blinked repeatedly, trying his charms to get out an answer out of him.

“I—I will just say you are not entirely wrong, but not right either,” covering his mouth to stop a chuckle, the brunette couldn’t imagine [Name] being this clueless. Sometimes looking so tough, nobody could imagine such ideas from him— hell, he looked terrifying when fighting Reiner, so this situation was hilarious to him.

[Name] pouted, switching his attention to the path ahead. Was he that wrong? But he couldn’t just believe «Amelie’s Crown» lied with what it was... He had put his faith in Amelie! She couldn’t just betray his trust like that! How could you, Amelie?!

”I won’t believe Amelie lied to me...” he spoke to himself, lost in his own world filled with flower fields and frogs. His depressing aura was noticed clearly, confusing his two companions.

”Uh... you okay?”

[Name] huffed, irritated, "anyways," he turned his head to his companions, "who will take record of our training?"

"Ah! Good memory, [name]!" Reiner clapped his hands, "what do you think Bertolt? I can have the map and you can take record? Whatever you want, man,"

Bertolt timidly nodded, handing him the map. It was a nice change— the brunette didn't feel suitable for commanding directions, so silently taking record of what was going on was ok with him. [name] could just help Reiner in the leadership, but since his behavior went annoyed they weren't that sure anymore. 

Nevertheless, a long day awaited them.

━━━━━━✧♛✧━━━━━━

[Name] nose crinkles, looking at the sky. He stares at the grey clouds, “I already smell the rain. We should find somewhere to stay before we get wet.”

”Can find another way to get you—“

”Don’t finish!!”

Eventually the teenagers found a cave deep in the woods, decently spaced to let them lay down. It was pretty wet— they couldn't find the cave before raining, so they were a bit soaked. At least they found a refugee; being under the rain was dangerous, even more with the chilly air. Reiner had [name]'s headaches in mind— breathing in cold was something bad for the head, and he had noticed [name] like rain, but acknowledged it was dangerous to his health. Both Reiner and Bertholtd could see annoying the headaches got at the point of being pretty mortal when doing training. 

Placing his backpacks on the floor, the soldiers took out what was enough to do their beds and eat their packed food. Thankfully they wore their green caps this time, just because [name] warned them about the weather. Their clothes were not that soaked, so [name] being with them was pure luck. 

”Sasha almost eat my stuff, man. One cannot know with that girl,” Reiner said, taking a bite of his bread. The gluttony girl went for everybody before training— they all knew food was precious this time, but Reiner had remembered the girl stated she was a hunter, so stealing other people's food was... a bit too much.

[Name] took his boots and jacket off, sighing in relief as the tight and wet fabric was off of him. He laid them on the floor, making sure they didn't get stained or ruined. He starts to unbutton his shirt, shaking a little bit because of the cold.

Reiner almost chokes on his food as he sees [name]'s exhibitionism, but coughs casually to stay unbothered. ”Hey, hey— you won’t strip, would you? I mean, I have no complains but Bertolt here will have a heart attack.”

”I’m just going to take this off. They are tight and that irritates me,” he answers, but stops midway to stare at the tall brunette, “didn't think it was death needed," Bertolt blushed, averting his eyes from [name]'s body, noticing the small drops of water falling on his flesh. 

"What is going on with me?!"

”Anyways, I’ve been pretty curious when we fought. You seemed to know what you were doing— who taught you?” Reiner stared at him in interest, remembering his movements back then. He had beat his ass with no much effort; even Annie lost against him. And that, was something amazing and incredible— a stance he never saw before in a fight.

Nobody, he wanted to say. But deep down he knew someone have taught him everything— or at least he could say that from his short memories. “...Someone.” He opted to say, neither a lie nor a truth. Someone had done it, but he didn’t know who. He didn't know when, where— he didn't know anything about how he could fight like that.

”And that someone is?”

[Name] shrugs, taking a bite of his bread. ”Dunno.”

Reiner raised an eyebrow, confused. ”Dunno? You don’t remember or you don’t wanna say?”

Swallowing his food, [name] answered unbothered. ”I don’t remember.”

Reiner frowned, trying to recollect something— he heard something about his situation back then. ”Ah, I remember. Connie had said you hurt your head, right?”

Was everyone this nosy? “Yeah. I don’t know many things about me.”

”Not even where you are from?” Reiner asked, getting more interest by the individual in front of him. 

Where am I from...? “...I’m from Shiganshina. I was raised there,” that was his home, thanks to Beatrice.

The blond raised an eyebrow, perhaps not believing the answer. ”All your childhood?”

”...Part of it.”

He wasn’t going to try and remember. The pain was very well known, making him stay away from even trying or think about it. He was tired of the same fate, and if nothing good came out of it, then it wasn’t something important to do. 

”What do you mean part of it?”

Would he be able to explain? Beatrice had told him to not say the truth about his whereabouts, since it could bring problems. But could he trust in Reiner and Bertolt? The only person he had tell the truth was Jean, and he didn’t say much about it... Well, it wasn’t as if the two companions were some infiltrates of the Military Police, could they? Perhaps answering something small wasn’t dangerous— maybe... they were friends? They were... nice, after all.

“I...” he blinked, “I was from somewhere else.”

The blond hums, interested about the answer. ”Somewhere where?”

He began to feel irritated. "Aren't you noisy?" Reiner seemed too curious about it— or maybe it was just to pass the time. Either way, [name] didn’t like talking about his blurry past. It was a reminder of things that were never returning, and being the center of attention wasn't something he enjoyed either.

The blond laughs awkwardly, rubbing his neck. “Sorry, sorry. It’s just that... you seem mysterious, and that cute face you wear doesn’t help my curiosity from stopping.”

[Name] stays in silence for some time. Now that he thought about it, if he ignored Reiner’s forced flirty behavior, he radiated a... strong, brotherly aura. He had read about human’s auras— some radiated confidence, some others terror, vileness. [name] wondered what kind of aura he had, but the reminder of his situation build that doubtfulness of himself, making him thought about that so called aura being nonexistent for him. “...My past... is foggy.”

”Wait, so you do have memory loss?”

”I guess.”

"How much you can’t remember, then?"

The amnesiac tilts his head, scratching the tip of his fingers gently. "The first thing I remember is about me waking up in a forest, then my mom taking care of me."

That made some sense, at least. "Then... you were raised in Shiganshina but not born there...?" he blinks, "and there’s no recollection of anything about your past... damn, that’s... a little upsetting, but you seem unbothered by it."

"It’s not that I’m not... But trying only hurts me, and the doctor who helped me said if I over-did it, my mind could collapse and I would have serious injuries, so my mom made me stop doing that," he closes his eyes, "well, it isn’t as if I’m missing something— the people who have been around me... have helped me a lot. And if I can’t remember my past, the present is more important."

Reiner smiles. "I’m... glad you are handling it well. You seem to be filled with courage— no one needs to give you the 'you can do it' talk, uh?"

[Name] gently chuckles, amused. That wasn’t true— if it weren’t for Beatrice’s help, he wouldn’t be here right now. Even now, the need of someone helping him to stand on his feet was important. Being truly alone was something scary, and dealing with heavy stuff alone was something [name] wasn’t sure of. "Sometimes. Receiving help... is important."

Reiner hums. Bertolt looks like he wants to say something, and himself decides to spit it out before regretting it. "Why... why do you want to join the Survey Corps? Even with being face to face with them... you want to fight them..."

The amnesiac scratches his neck this time. "That’s because..." don’t. You think giving your trust isn't idiotic, you idiot? But before he could answer, he frowns. His answer isn’t all genuine— the true meaning of joining is hidden, because of someone else shutting his mouth. "I just want to bring my home back. Being trapped and cornered... is unfair."

[Name] can notice how Bertolt shifts uncomfortably with his usual nervous expression. The boy narrows his eyes, and the taller boy can notice being under such scary stare. The unknown voice is right, but [name] doesn’t want to listen. What could they do anyways? They were comrades, and for years they had to gain each other trust. Why would he suspect...? It was... ridiculous— uncalled for.

They were friends.

  V̶͚͚͖͔͚̂̏̉͋̌̑͘ņ̶̱̻̱̝̠̞̣͙̱̿̆̑̓̒͜͠ĕ̴͍͔̺̲̲̝̲̲̣͙͋͐͝ǎ̸̢̡͎̻̖̲̫̜̩͆̕h̶̋̎̽͗̊͐̓͛͂̋͆͜t̷̜̪̳͍̰̞͕̐̑̓̀̽͒͜͝ͅc̷̹̱̤̠̩̭͎͍̹͂̽̄̆̀͊̀̈́̑̋̈́̄́͜͝ ̷̢̣̰̲̦͛̈̇̐̊̾̊̏̎́͠͠ỹ̷̢̧̡͍̣̘̼̪̫͔͖͎̗̙̓̈́͛̾͒͜͝n̴͇̲̪̤͇̼͙͜͜͠͠ą̵̘̳̦̘̙̫̣̘͇̬̤̞͉͜ ̷̡͚̰͎͕̜̤̻̮̼͊̿̀͗͐̿͘͠s̶̡͓̺̜̬̼̪͕͗̈͂̐̉͐̏̏́̀͒â̸̡̛͔̩̥͉̬̺̏̎̈́̊̐͂͌̈̇͌͒͂ͅy̶̡̗͎̱͓̦̫͙͕̺̍̿͒̒̅̕ḣ̵̯̀ḙ̸̢̛̺̝̝̎̆̄͛̾̋͝͝͝ͅh̵̜̩̤͕̖͕̺̔̎͂͌̈́k̵̙̙̻̺̮͇͉̞̋̊͝m̶̧̛̩̞̬̮̰͖̰̞̃̔̐́͋̄̍͂̋̂͒̍̈͜a̷̬̓̐̉̊̇̄̒͂̑͛c̵͙̭̰̞̻̗̯͇̦͒̈́̄̈́͆͜c̴̳̖͂̾͌.̷̤̔̒̈́̇̓͗̎̅̈́̅̅̓͘V̶͚͚͖͔͚̂̏̉͋̌̑͘ņ̶̱̻̱̝̠̞̣͙̱̿̆̑̓̒͜͠ĕ̴͍͔̺̲̲̝̲̲̣͙͋͐͝ǎ̸̢̡͎̻̖̲̫̜̩͆̕h̶̋̎̽͗̊͐̓͛͂̋͆͜t̷̜̪̳͍̰̞͕̐̑̓̀̽͒͜͝ͅc̷̹̱̤̠̩̭͎͍̹͂̽̄̆̀͊̀̈́̑̋̈́̄́͜͝ ̷̢̣̰̲̦͛̈̇̐̊̾̊̏̎́͠͠ỹ̷̢̧̡͍̣̘̼̪̫͔͖͎̗̙̓̈́͛̾͒͜͝n̴͇̲̪̤͇̼͙͜͜͠͠ą̵̘̳̦̘̙̫̣̘͇̬̤̞͉͜ ̷̡͚̰͎͕̜̤̻̮̼͊̿̀͗͐̿͘͠s̶̡͓̺̜̬̼̪͕͗̈͂̐̉͐̏̏́̀͒â̸̡̛͔̩̥͉̬̺̏̎̈́̊̐͂͌̈̇͌͒͂ͅy̶̡̗͎̱͓̦̫͙͕̺̍̿͒̒̅̕ḣ̵̯̀ḙ̸̢̛̺̝̝̎̆̄͛̾̋͝͝͝ͅh̵̜̩̤͕̖͕̺̔̎͂͌̈́k̵̙̙̻̺̮͇͉̞̋̊͝m̶̧̛̩̞̬̮̰͖̰̞̃̔̐́͋̄̍͂̋̂͒̍̈͜a̷̬̓̐̉̊̇̄̒͂̑͛c̵͙̭̰̞̻̗̯͇̦͒̈́̄̈́͆͜c̴̳̖͂̾͌.̷̤̔̒̈́̇̓͗̎̅̈́̅̅̓͘

  ”U—Uhm, [Name]...?” Bertolt timidly asks, gulping. [name]'s stare was lost— as if he was lost in the wonders of his mind, finally giving in into his wonderland. The taller wondered if the question was wrong to ask— after all, titans were a sensitive subject for some comrades. 

[Name] just blinks, staring at Bertolt. He finally hums, laying on the ground and turning his back on them. “I’m sleepy. Good night.”

”[Name]! But we haven’t finished talking!!” Reiner whines, but there’s no response. It seems [name] fell asleep as soon as his head rested on the ground, or maybe he refused to answer more of the interrogation, “unbelievable. How can you fall asleep so easily? I wanted to ask more...”

After falling in silence, the two remaining look at each other without saying a word. Their connection and bond is already deeply formed, as a look exchange communicate whatever they want to say.

[Name] is someone much different than them— he may appear just like them, but those eyes... those memories he has locked deep inside his wonderland... those actions, defined who he was going to be in the future. What was he going to face along with them— a future no one wanted, but was necessary to happen. Actions nobody wanted, but were destined by fate to get done.

The rain fills the silence, drifting them to sleep.

  T̴͉̤̬̝̃̄̅͐͜͜h̷̡̳̓̓̽e̷̛̛̹͖̜͈͕̾ỹ̸̧̌̔̍͑̅̇̆ ̶̧͍̙̣͚͚̟̙͇͠x̷̡̛͎̓̔̄͑̕͝ͅx̸̧̪̪͉̜̅̊̅̍́̕͜x̷͓̻̬̺̄͆̈́̐ ̸̨͖̝̗͆̾͛̌j̶̢̨̛͈̫͔̞̭͉͐̎̎͂̉̐̈́͋!̴̭̯̐͌#̵̝̫͉͇̰̦͈̝̇ͅ$̶̧̘̠̥̑̍̂̈͝ ̴̫̖̻̦͍͌͘̕c̴̡̬̯̻̦͚̠̯͗̈́̑̽̒́h̶̞͂͐̎̈́̍͠i̴̱͎͈̱̋l̴̯̽̎̉̒̈d̵̻̈́̾̑͛͆͠ŗ̸͔̪̖͒̿͋̊́̇̈́̇ḛ̵̝̪̄͊̐̽̅͊̕n̴̤̰͍̜͓̫͌͂̕ͅ!̷̡͔̍́̽̿͂̈́͌

x̴̡̓̋́̑̔͒̀͘͝x̷̨̹̫̳̗̙͈̠͚̿̏x̶͙̓̚͝͝͠ ̷̬͚͖̒͒̀ṭ̸̨̲̳̤͌͠!̴̻̲̯̠̘̪̩̈́͑̋͘͝͝0̸̧͉̤̞͊̽̈̓́͆̃̌́2̴̛̗͔̰̃̇̎̾̓ ̴̡̨̘̻̭̞̯͕̀̍̈͗͗͌̚͝w̷̫͎̯̫̌́́̃̽̉͒̾͌è̴̘̤͈̫̻͎̄̃ ̴̙̣̙̭̫̄̌̍̈́#̷̡̙̼̈́͆̈́ͅ!̴̡̬̣̜̜͚͐͗̋̍̂0̵̛̯̰̹̰̯̄̏̉̀͝e̴̲̙͒͑́͝ ̵̡̻̘̣̝̙͎̇͐̍́͑͆̓͑͋͜a̴̫͉͉̟̼̮̙̿͐̊ ̸̛̛͙̹̜̳̣͔̝̞͐̽̂͛̽͘͜ć̸̹͇͔̼̜̮̥̤h̴̛̤̄̂ǫ̶̨̼̗̮̔͑̓̉̚ï̷̧̪̹͂c̶̗͆̓͌͑ḛ̴͗̒̐̽͘̕ͅ?̴̥͇̳̘̗̩̲̇̒!̶̲̣̯̰̙̈́̇̋̈́͛

━━━━━━✧♛✧━━━━━━

“There should be a flag around,” Reiner spoke, looking at both sides. They were already awake and ready for the day— it would be a long one, so they had to be prepared. Waking [name] was the hardest thing in the morning— Bertolt was easy to handle, thankfully. Nevertheless, [name] looked like he was in a deep slumber— an unconscious state that nobody knew how long would he be in if let alone. One of these days it could be a nice experiment to see how much he could sleep.

“You seem well prepared,” [Name] stated, noticing how independent and useful Reiner could be by himself. He seemed capable of doing anything— alone or with someone. It looked like he already went into some training before enlisting.

“What does that mean?” the blond raised an eyebrow, amused by the observation. He knew [name] was someone blunt and spoke his mind, so hearing his thoughts about him interested him.

”I can see you can do anything— are you going to the Military Police?”

”I’m that obvious?” Reiner chuckles.

”Not really. But it looks like you don’t have a hard time with anything, and many others want to get into the top ten,” he tilts his head, "I think everyone want to, so I guessed it..."

”Well, if it’s with you of course I will have a hard time,”

”And with Annie,” Bertolt interjected, holding his laugh.

"And, with Annie," Reiner roll his eyes, "that's my goal for now— just want to be... safe, working with the King. That's all. Hope you don't get bothered like Eren does."

"I don't judge," [name] speaks, "you can do whatever you want— Eren... is an idiot for telling others they are cowards for joining the other branches. Why would you fight something you don't want to? It's your life, so you are the one deciding. Not some ball of anger with spiky hair yelling like a crazy idiot..."

"Damn, that was something," the blond laughs, "ball of anger? haven't heard that before."

"But he's my friend, even when he's wrong sometimes," he looks at the sky, "have to make him don't forget where he is..."

The blond stares at him. The last sentence almost made him laugh— who guided who? He couldn't deny the strange friendship these two had; at first, it seemed as if Eren despised him by the amount of glares he sent to him. Then, something had to happen, since he saw the two sleeping together one night. He didn't strike Eren as someone needy, but Reiner noticed certain actions and expression only appeared when being with [name]. It was as if those actions were only for the privilege of [name]; things as holding hands, stare at his sleeping form, not shouting as loudly as he did... staring at him as if he was the most precious thing in the world... 

Reiner could understand Jean's jealously at Eren, since it was obvious how the horse-face acted around the amnesiac boy. If Reiner was honest, [name] was... someone interesting to be around, and knowing him more was something Reiner wanted to achieve. After all, making him flustered was one of his weird goals too— [name] never flustered, nor looked embarrassed. That, was something Reiner was going to change.

"Ah— I see the flag!" Bertolt interrupts, pointing at his left from behind his two companions. Both of them instantly turn their heads to confirm, and indeed, there was a red flag proudly standing in middle of the forest, intact.

"Good eye, Bert! Almost got away without it," Reiner begins to walk to the direction of the flag, "hope this is over with today! The rain did make me more tired, so—"

As Reiner talked, [name] deeply frowned. Just as that time, he heard something— heavy steps along with grunting. It obviously wasn't a person, so his conclusion was that it was a creature of the forest. Perhaps they went out of bounds here, stepping in a territory they didn't belong. It was far but it was coming closer— [name] stayed frozen as he stared at where he was hearing the thing, while Bertolt, far behind him, looked at him in confusion.

"Hmn...? [name]...?" Bertolt wondered, worried. 

"Wait!" 

[name] eyes widened— it sounded big. As fast and quietly as he could, he ran where Reiner was. “Get down!” He pushed Reiner down with him, both of them harshly falling on the ground. [Name] gritted his teeth as he felt Reiner’s body over him, and the blond shifted his position by placing his two arms at both sides of [Name]. Without [Name] knowing, the blond did have a tint of scarlet on his face. The amnesiac laid on his back, patting a little bit. Reiner averted looking at his exposed neck, trying to think about something else. There was an open area above, in the trees, letting the rays of the sun hit [name]'s body.

”So cute... adorable, even. Is this what a god looks like?”

Thankfully they were in the middle of the woods, where a lot of plants and bushes were a good hide place. [name] aimed to fall into bushes, a decent yet fast place to not get caught. “Don’t move or talk,” he whispered, covering Reiner's mouth with his hand.

This time both of them heard it— heavy steps approaching where the flag was. Time seemed to freeze as a deep grunt was heard, and it's cause came into view. At first glance it could be said it was a bear, but such... dark face and huge body said otherwise. It had black fur, and a red eye— his left eye was scarred, adding more terror into it's appearance. It's face was almost skeletal; long nails, broken horns? no tail... what the hell is that?

Reiner tried to get something out of his backpack— but the minimal movement made the creature alarmed.

The bear? stopped it’s tracks— it seemed it was smelling something. [name] took Reiner's arm tightly, not knowing what else to do. He hoped Bertolt was away from here— he couldn’t hear him anyway.

"We should do something against this bear— how can we get away?" [name] tried to whisper as lowly as he could, not even hearing himself.

“That ain’t a goddamn bear!” Reiner harshly whispered, scared to the bone.

Unfortunately for them, the bear had as excellent hearing as [name]. The creature turned at where they were, grunting lowly as it quickly approached the area.

Oh, FUCK!

”Damn— Run!” [Name] helped Reiner get up and started running. Whatever that thing was was fast and it was just on their toes— none of them dared to turn around to see it’s terrifying stare. The only way they knew that thing was behind was because of it’s grunt sounds— as if someone was breathing right over their ear.

”Any ideas?!” Reiner yelled, not daring to turn around.

”You think I have one?!” There was no plan— the only thing [Name] could think of was running as fast as he could. Good thing to not have their equipment this time around— it could have been a fast way to end this situation, but they had nothing on them that could help. 

“[Name]! If that thing gets to us we are dead!”

”Really?! Is that obvious?!”

”There’s no time for you being sarcastic!”

”Then don’t state the obvious, Reiner!”

They knew running wasn’t going to work forever. Eventually tiredness will overcome them and then they will get in trouble. [Name] had no idea what to do; if they took at least one second to do something else then that thing would get to one of them and surely die by being eaten alive. That didn’t sound pretty at all.

There was no other way— someone had to be the bait.

Reiner gripped his hand, eyeing it cryptically. “Okay, [Name]— I need you to—“

”I will run with it,” [Name] tried to speak between breaks, “I’m faster than you; I will lost it somewhere far away.”

Reiner blinked, dumbfounded. Trying to process such absurd words, the blond’s eye twitched in irritation, desperation and fear: he couldn’t help but scream. ”What the hell are you saying?! You can’t lose this shit anywhere! Look how close it is, for god sake!” The plan sounded stupid and worthless— it didn't solve nothing at all. If only Reiner got alone, then maybe [name] wouldn't get hurt.

”You think I don’t see it?!” The [hair color] haired yelled irritated, taking his backpack and throwing it carelessly to the creature’s head, successfully angering the creature by hearing a grunt, or whatever it was sent to him. “We’ll find each other somehow! Look for Bertolt!”

And with a last look, [Name] changed directions as quick as he could. He ran trough the woods, ignoring Reiner’s yells calling for him in desperation. His mind was going overdrive— he didn’t have a clue on what to exactly do against the scary creature.

Until he didn’t pay attention and his foot step on the weak ground, losing his balance and falling on some cliff. He tried to get a grip on anything, but he only hurt his fingers in the process. Nothing could be done as he fell over a small hill, until some bushes helped his fall at least a little bit. [Name] looked up, meeting the red eye of the creature who stated at him chillingly— the boy couldn’t ignore the chills on his spine, but eventually they broke connection when the thing turned and left, leaving [Name] alone in the forest as if he was unworthy of being eaten by it.

Breathing erratically, [Name] rested his head on the bushes, closing his eyes. “What the... hell...” His whole body hurt— his right foot, his left side (maybe bruised ribs?), his throat burned and he was sure there were many cuts and scratches all around his body. “How... unlucky...”

Laying there, [Name] changed his position to stare at the sky. It was orange, signaling noontime. He didn’t know how much time he was running from the thing, but it felt a good three hours.

He got up, and then he froze as he understood the situation he was in.

There was no backpack; so no supplies.

No map.

No food nor water.

No nothing.

He felt a laugh resonating at the back of his head; making fun of his situation— a laugh sounding so far yet just over his ear, as if someone was just behind him.

He remembered Jean’s words when something didn’t go as planned, or when he was stuck in a shitty situation—

“I’m fucked.”

  Y̴̢̦̫̞̦͔̅̾͋̄͗̊e̸͙̘̭̝̩̦̣͌̆̿̋̾͊̋͌̉͐̕̕͘ş̶̖͕̫̗͙̳͔̥̤̙͖̗̰̫̔͑̄̅̆͂̕̚͝ ̵̲̠̟̦͕̙̥̲̲̥̜̞͊͋̓͋̐̈̂̈̈́̑͋̈̕̕ỵ̶̖͈̱̝̯̳̞͈͍̼̯̟̆̐̄́̎̏ő̸̢̧̟̭͔̮̱͔͖̪̞̙̮̈́̾̚͜ȕ̷͎̤̱̱̬̻͛͂̇̈́̐̈́͝ͅ ̵̢̛̤̹͔̰͙̙͈̰̙̳͎̮̽̈̓͗̔̄̑͘a̴̢̪͍̫̫͔̹̫̱̹̩̓̃̒̊́͋̈͜ŗ̴̬̘̣̬̗̻̩͗̒̊̍͋͐͛̓̈͆̈́͘ͅë̸̛̛̙̥̤̥̯̰͇̬̰̑̓͗̊͐̆̂̋͝.̵͖̰̲͍̲̱̠͙̭͈̒̂̋̋̆͌̓̕

♛

Just wanted to say I miss u and ur works. I also hope you’re doing better & wishing u the best of luck 💗💗

that felt nice to read (ᴗ_ ᴗ。) i do miss all of you, so i'm going to try and not disappear again. thank you v much and have a good day!! ᕙ( •̀ ᗜ •́ )ᕗ

Reiss Mental Asylum / 3

【 shingeki no kyojin / mental asylum – alternative universe, modern setting 】 『male!yandere!various x male!prettyboy!reader』 summary: Finally! You have been given an opportunity to work at Reiss Mental Asylum- your job hunting hasn’t been great, so to hear you got an opportunity made you excited. At the beginning everything seems normal- but without noticing, some people began to get obsessed with you. warnings/tags: DARK/HEAVY THEMES. Non-consensual themes; sexual assault, touching, drug use, rape attempt. Home invasion, yanderes, obsessive behavior, murder, blood, explicit content, sexual thoughts. masterlist

3

“There’s a small break every time your sessions finish. We’ll go to our office, so remember the path we take, alright?” Zeke says, looking at [Name]. The said boy just nods in return, enough for Zeke. “By the way, it seems that Armin likes you.”

“Really? He seems really nice…” [Name] says, smiling, “I’m glad he let me talk to him.”

“Yeah… he looked unsure about you at first, but it’s surprising how he changed.” The blond looks deep in thought, before proceeding, “I think you are the first person he talked freely like that.” He scratches his ear, thinking. Armin wasn’t very fond of Zeke that much— even if he was one of his doctors, he knew the short blond didn’t fully trust him. But, seeing as [Name] —who is new in the area— instantly clicked with him made Zeke wonder how many surprises the [hair color]-haired would bring.

Both males pleasantly talked— [Name] seemed comfortable talking to Zeke, and said man enjoyed hearing the other’s male voice. It was pleasing — something he wanted to hear everyday. Zeke noted the young man had a peaceful aura that calmed him, seeing as [Name] was a bag of nerves at first glance, the boy looked surprisingly calm now. It made the blond steal some glances to look at his gentle features — without the other noticing, of course.

Eventually, Zeke stopped in front of a door, which it had a small frame with the name of ’Dr. Zeke Jaeger’ on it. The blond opened the door, revealing a neat and simple office. There was only one desk with a chair, bookshelves, a lamp, a window… Nothing out of the ordinary.

“There’s only one desk, so we’ll have to share.” Zeke stepped into the room, with [Name] shyly walking behind him, “There isn’t much. I place the patient’s files here, other important documents there…” The man approached the desk, opened a drawer and look for something in it— his fingers touched the multiple folders, until he finally found two he was looking for. “I will give you the patient’s files, but not all of them. I don’t want to stress you this much— so don’t get nervous, alright?”

“S–Sure! Thank you, Dr. Jaeger,” [Name] gently said, smiling by the other’s kindness. “And sorry for you having to share your office, I will try not to occupy too much.” He added, with a deep pink growing on his gentle cheeks.

Zeke just laughed, “I already told you; I don’t mind sharing with you. I will make space for you, but for now hand me anything you want me to take, I will take care of it.”

“Alright, thank you again… I–I hope I can learn a lot from you.” [Name] states, looking a little embarrassed, making the other man smile seeing his shy form.

I look forward on learning a lot about you too…

“I will try to help you as much as I can, [Name].” Zeke reassured, taking a look at his watch, “it seems we still have some time left. We’ll take some fresh air, if you agree?” He looks at the other male with a small smile.

“Of course!”

。。。。。。。。。。。。

The two of them were sitting on a bench, outside the building. There were some patients on the gardens with some bodyguards and doctors observing them. Zeke had explained some patients had the privilege thanks for their backgrounds and history in the asylum, allowing them to going outside and do gardening for their therapy— [Name] had wondered what he meant by ’backgrounds’, but decided not to ask.

Zeke was smoking a cigarette, and [Name] just peacefully observed the patients from afar. The older man couldn’t stop himself to look at the other young man— he observed the softness of his beautiful face; how peaceful his eyes looked; how his [hair color] hair gently moved by the wind. [Name]’s body seemed relaxed— and Zeke couldn’t pinpoint the exact motive of why his full attention was on the other male; why he was taking a unexpected interest on him.

“Do you live far from here?” Zeke suddenly asked, pushing his glasses. The blond had many questions for the young man— and he couldn’t stop himself from asking.

The sudden question made [Name] slightly jump, alerted. Looking at the blond, [Name] quickly replied, “Y–Yes. I don’t have a car, so the bus brings me here— one hour and thirty minutes.”

Zeke furrows a brow, “Is that so? And how did you find this place anyways?”

“I found the ad on the newspaper, and well…” [Name] scratches his cheek with his index finger, smiling, “this was the only place that called me. I’m glad though, it seems nice.”

He has no clue about what he got himself into. Zeke hummed, taking a last glance at [Name]. Changing his attention to his watch, the man spoke, “we have five more minutes. I should tell you about the next patient.” The blond handed the folder, which [Name] took. “His name is Jean Kirstein. He made some… bad choices in the past,” Zeke explained, clearly leaving something out, “His best friend was killed, and that made him change for the worst. Jean can be harsh with his words– he can easily get provoked, too.”

Zeke stands, turning at [Name], “let’s go.”

。。。。。。。。。

The death of Jean’s best friend left a huge impact on the young boy— Zeke had explained Jean saw the corpse of what was left of his friend. Jean has night terrors in most of the nights. The taller man didn’t exactly tell [Name] what the patient did in the past, and the young boy couldn’t really take a hint. Zeke could see how oblivious [Name] was, and he thought it was for the better.

“Here we are. As you know, I will see everything if anything goes wrong,” he says, already leaving. But suddenly stops, as if he remembered something not that important, hearing his uninterested voice tone, “also, don’t be surprised if he’s handcuffed. Good luck.”

H—Handcuffed?! [Name] was taken aback by the comment— why would a patient be handcuffed? Was he aggressive? The young man really didn’t know what to expect, so with no much thought he opened the door, instantly noticing a young man around his age sitting, looking irritated. And indeed, he was handcuffed.

“Great. Another fucking useless doctor.” The two-toned haired boy snorted, “don’t even try with me, pretty boy. I don’t care about any of your bullshit.”

[Name] cheeks slightly blushed by the given name, but hurriedly calmed himself. The young man knew there would be not too kind people, but that didn’t make him upset. He was going to do his best and help his patients.

The [hair color]-haired boy just smiled, sitting across the other boy. Jean just looked weirdly at him— normally, his doctors’ expressions were irritated or uncaring, but this person showed a gentle smile. Huh. Weird.

“But I will try my best! I don’t give up easily, you know?” [Name] spoke, unbothered by the other snarky comments, “I’m [Name], Dr. Jaeger assistant. What’s your name?”

Jean snorted, “I believe you already know my name, doctor. No point playing dumb with me.” He took notice of the assistant’s face– it didn’t change, he could see [Name] wasn’t getting irritated or mad, just like the others. The [eye color]-eyed just kindly smiled.

“Well, I would like to hear it from you. It makes things official!”

“You are not giving this up, are you?”

“Nope!”

The patient sighs, relaxing his composure. “Jean.” Was the only thing he said— weirdly enough, Jean could see he was an interesting fellow. [Name]’s introduction actually made him aware that the assistant may or may not be… too kind. And his pretty looks really didn’t give away much contradiction to his conclusion.

Yup, this one is perfect for teasing. Better take the chance.

“Nice to meet you, Jean! This session is only for intro–”

“Hey, [Name],” Jean interrupted, with a smirk on his face, “can I ask something?”

“Sure, ask away.”

“If you are Jaeger’s assistant, does that mean he can fuck you all he wants? I mean, the man has to have his needs, and you being his pretty assistant sounds fishy enough to me.”

[Name]’s face was priceless. All of his face instantly went deep red. The young assistant never heard something like this addressed to him— and it was absolutely embarrassing. Even if he knew Jean was only playing with him, that didn’t mean [Name] couldn’t get flustered.

Jean couldn’t hold his laugh seeing the distressed state of the assistant. [Name] was blabbering, trying to deny the dirty joke with no avail. Oh shit, is he a virgin? This is better than I thought! Finally something funny is happening in this disgusting place!

Thinking about it, Jean really didn’t mind anymore if this cutie was going to be his doctor. He could see every session embarrassing the young assistant, looking at his flustered state. Yes, he couldn’t wait for more opportunities to make him blush.

“O—Of course not! Please hold yourself on doing comments like that, Jean!” [Name] finally spoke, his soft cheeks still red. “Dr. Jaeger and I are not like that in any way!”

Jean laughed, he couldn’t believe he finally had a chance to be with someone like this. Surely, he will take every chance he gets. “I was just saying, pretty assistant. Come on, I just said fuck, it isn’t that bad.”

“Just don’t say things like that. That came out of nowhere!”

After that, both of them could normally talk, relieving [Name]. The sexual comment did threw him off, but hoped there weren’t going to be more situations like that in the future. They just talked— [Name] did most of the talking, and Jean just reluctantly answered, leaving some snarky comments here and there. The two toned haired patient was bored with the conversation, but answered nevertheless.

A knock on the door made [Name] realize it was time to leave. Standing up, the [hair color]-haired spoke, “Well, it was nice to meet you, Jean. I will see you next week!” [Name] sent a smile to the other boy.

Jean was indifferent about the talking session, but surely, making his new doctor embarrassed was going to be one of his obligatory tasks. He would think on more things to say— he couldn’t wait for next week to come. Jean remembered the assistant’s blushed face— how embarrassed he looked. 

That, was a sight he wanted to see again.

He surely was going to have fun with him.

。。。。。。。。。。。

“That was an interesting session.” Zeke broke the silence, noticing [Name]’s embarrassing demeanor. Surely, he knew Jean could get dirty with his comments– but he really didn’t expect something like that. The blond actually chuckled in amusement seeing [Name] flustered behavior.

[Name] just hummed, playing with his fingers. He was suddenly flustered seeing Zeke after that sexual comment, and he couldn’t stop a blush appearing on his face.

Zeke wasn’t sure if joking would be a good idea, but he couldn’t stop himself from teasing the [hair color]-haired boy.

“Tempting idea— I see myself considering it in the future. Just to let you know, assistant.”

[Name] ’s face couldn’t get any more redder.

I love you and your stories/writings...... Keep safe and healthy, dear!☺️💖

thank you very much! i havent written much but my stories are always on my mind LOL. sorry for the, again, long hiatus.

i've been trying to think why i stopped writing entirely, so this is just a vent/ramble post and doesn't mean anything beyond that? line break bc i dont think someone would want to read rambling tb: rant about aot, info about reiss mental asylum/empty/future

the first reasons i came out with were 1. work 2. a shitty situation that worsened my already shitty mental health and 3. void of creativity/writers block/no energy to think or to came out with something i liked bc i kept comparing myself to others creators (which is... very bad).

the other big reason....... (since i only wrote for aot):

i think i stopped writing anything attack on titan related because i really, really got so salty that my favorite peace of media (that i've followed for 11 years) ended they way it did? and i don't mean that 'oh just bc u didn't get a happy ending or u didn't understand the characters and the plot doesn't mean your opinion is valid bla bla'

but the way characters' developments were poorly handled and recessed, how they were just made dumber for the sake of the plot and how suddenly a romantic relationship that wasn't there in the first place became something bigger at the end and how eren was handled in the last moments just made me so salty lmao.

and it makes me more salty how people just shits on you if you don't like it and quickly go with their 'u didn't get it' like brother ive been here since 2013 tf you mean? now we can't criticize anything and still like something??? AAAGGGHHHH

im sorry LOL it's just that i can't see anything aot related bc it is so ruined for me. literally i see tiktoks and i get so sad and bitter bc i know what the comments will be lmao i hate it, literally just read the manga and stopped watching the anime until season 3 bc i just disliked how everything was handled so bad. like any news about it just doesn't make me feel anything 😭 i need a therapist

anyway :) im trying to find my love towards it again because i genuinely liked writing my shitty stories about it and the world building and characters were what i fell in love with.

(also, this doesn't mean im bashing ppl who liked the ending!! in my eyes, everything is subjective—some like it, some dont, and that's fine. how boring life would be if we all thought the same?)

but i AM bashing those who say 'you didn't get it'. come here and get this hands how about that

oh, and im rewriting reiss mental asylum (just the earlier chapters bc they are... bad y'all LOL), nothing too heavy, just trying to improve the writing and adding extra things. (such as the damn time period... i've had in mind to settle it around 1960-1980, but i just didn't pay attention to the world building enough to explicitly mention it. oh well, the more you know.)

i've already made a big chunk of info about how i want to develop the whole story, so i do have a clear structure to follow. also, i once begged for ideas in ao3, and many people came with great input, and a commentor was so spot on on what i was intending to do with the story! (like really spot on LOL they found my secret plot twist...)

it really makes me baffled how many people like the story, with its flaws and all. i was young and very inexperienced when writing it, so i hope i can refine it enough to make it a decent read for all of you.

also... people from russia 🫵 im speaking to you directly... thank you for your kind messages as well! (some of you have reached for me through email) it just baffles me how well liked that story is? and for the translator(Вероника_69) to still keeping an eye after years of no updating? aaaa. thank you.

i think i needed to write this vent, it helped me to get some good motivation!!

aaaaand i've watched jujutsu kaisen... you may see silly things coming up as well... err, someday. because college is around the corner again and that means suffering! and poor mental health! and no time! and no life!

been having these intrusive thoughts lately of... erasing all of my works LOL BUT i won't, don't worry. they'll be there as a reminder of how slightly ive improved (not much).

but yeah, if you see me experiment with small drabbles or just silly posts it doesn't mean im not paying attention to reiss mental asylum! i won't abandon it unless i die, even then i've told my friends to release my 30 unfinished drafts for you to get some closure LOL (fr though). but yeah, i will gravitate towards other fandoms if i feel like it (:

so, empty: hiatus... hiatus hiatus bc i hate to touch aot right now as its canon universe. indefinite hiatus, but i love that story to just abandon it. i was having much fun with it, tbh. which also im very grateful that it also got a russian translation by _Полуночник_! sorry that these news aren't very positive for the fans of empty, but i promise i'll get around it someday.

anyway, this turned out too long. thank you for still checking my stories, as bad as they are! i really, really appreciate you all reaching out to me. hopefully this year i can be more active, even if to write drabbles with meaning behind it. (i just love stories with lores thats why im so damn slow) although... i wrote more for myself in the beginning, so i was very surprised that people wanted more LOL

oh and im going to post masterlists to order my shit better. i want pretty visuals too, yk? headsup if u see me posting... also, feel free to ask anything about this vent lol i dont mind. (also i always got notifications to my email when someone asked something, and idk when they stopped? also, yeah, i check my email 😞)

hope you are having a good start of year. and, if not, well, we have 11 months anyways

and i never fucking realize i had 550 FOLLOWERS. i am not fit for social media y'all im sorry. i'll have to spoil you with something... THANK YOU FOR FOLLOWING A DAMN GRAVEYARD 😭 i will make it better i promise

also... dont use chat bots... my brain rotted... 😞 i had an unhealthy obsession (still do) but don't give in LMAO

heeeey i really love how you write, are you going to continue any of the series?? :(((

hello! i truly want to continue my stories and write new works, unfortunately i have been pretty busy with my life now since i have started college... but i do check what can i write from time to time ;_;

knowing myself i wont give a "expect something this month" because i am a liar LOL. but i won't leave them, so i do plan to continue them!

unfortunately seeing them makes me cringe T_T but a rewrite is a no-no knowing myself... but expect some changes to past chapters, i think.

i know this ask is old too ;_; very sorry! and thank you.

AaaaaaAAA your work is truly A++++

oh my thank you!! 😭💖

Flower Curse | 4

[levi x male!reader x erwin] this work will have vomiting, heavy angst and death. the reader suffers from the hanakahi disease. summary: you loved him. he didn’t. everything goes downhill when suddenly, you cough a petal when you think of him.

t h r e e ___

Your health wasn't an excuse to not doing your job. Erwin wanted you to rest until there was a solution— but you weren't going to obey him. You didn't want to slack off and be the center of attention, you just wanted to stay off radar by everyone. Especially, by your illness' cause:

Levi.

Just thinking of him made you sick and warm— yes, you liked him a lot, loved him, even. But the other part of you made you repulsed of him. You thought the cause of that repulsion was the curse you had, but sometimes, you just wanted to stop loving him. Just to stop the suffering.

But that was impossible, wasn't it? You just can't change your feeling for someone in an instant. The only thing you could do was hide your feelings in the darkest place, with your flowers' company. Hide them from prying eyes, away from everyone. Just your emotions, the flowers and you.

Was this illness really going to kill you? After all you have been through? You didn't want to believe this at all— flowers were more deadly than a stupid titan! Unbelievable. How could it be? Flowers filling your lungs just for unrequited love? You had a hard time believing this ridiculous "curse". But, sadly, this was as real as the titans.

But then... how come nobody knew about this illness? Was this another thing the King hide? How could this be real?

A knock on the door snapped out of your thoughts. “Come in.” You said, rubbing your temple in exasperation.

A blonde picked shyly, then came in and saluted. “Squad Leader [Name], the Corporal is asking for your presence on today's training.”

“Fuck.” You instantly thought. You didn't remember today's task: help Levi with training. Was your luck better than yesterday? Or life was just laughing at you? You passed your hand on your hair, letting out a sigh. “Thanks, Arlert. We should be going or the grumpy old man is going to beat my ass.”

Armin didn't laugh at your comment— the blonde just nodded and smiled. The relationship with the cadets and you weren't that bad in your opinion. You enjoyed talking with the little kid about the outside world— something that was very forbidden to do. Arlert even had a book of the outside that shared with you, by your big surprise.

The kid was very clever; maybe as clever as Erwin. Something unnerving— could this young kid see the same thing Erwin couldn't not see? Could he see your sickness? You noticed your face paled this morning. You wished to whoever to put a blindfold to everyone around you.

Leaving your office with Armin at your side, you jokingly asked, “How is training today? Is the Corporal harsher than before?”

“The Corporal is being a little... harsh, yes. But I don't see much difference as in other training,” he placed finger on his chin, looking thoughtful, “But he seemed a little irritated that you weren’t there.”

“Of course he is going to be like that. I forgot I had to help him training.” You nervously stated. “What's today's training for?”

“We are training with our Vertical Maneuvering Equipment.”

“Fuck, fuck, fuck.” What was worse? Close combat or the damn VME? Both options sounded horrible, but using your gear at your current state made you nervous. When your system wanted to throw the flowers this morning, it didn't gave you any warning like before. You just couldn't contain the urge of throwing it all out. Would the sudden force of the gear make you vomit?

You hoped Levi didn't want you to do use your gear today. You always showed your cadets how to use the gear properly, and when Levi wanted to explain something, you helped him showing the cadets your abilities. This wasn't looking good.

The blonde noticed your silent demeanor, thing that made him confused. “Is something wrong?”

Snapping out of your dark thoughts, you smiled as brightly as you could and looked at him, “There's nothing wrong! I just was thinking about how angry is Levi going to be, you've seen how he gets at the simplest things.”

The cadet looked at you, unsure, before nodding slowly.

You were sure Armin resembled Erwin for a second.

“About time you arrived, lazy shit.” You instantly heard the man of your dreams, —or maybe nightmares— when you arrived with Arlert at the training grounds.

Trying to playing it off, you said, “Hey! I'm not that late, just... thirty minutes late, not that bad.”

“Anyways, somehow you came just in time.” The raven stated before looking at Connie and Eren, the newest recruits. You didn't like what was he going to say, you knew it. “These two can't go faster with their gear, and it seems hearing what i'm saying is too hard for them,” he said irritably, looking at the two nervous cadets, then looked at you with his usual frown, “and I expect you to show it.”

Damn it, damn it, damn it! If you refused, he would ask questions, and the answers would not satisfy him at all— you barely got out of the previous situation thanks for Erwin being there, but now he wasn't. Be an adult and resolve your problems.

This wouldn't be that bad, right? You just had to do some harsh movement. You previous thoughts were you being ridiculous; nothing will happen. Everything will be alright, no need to worry. Everything will be okay. Stop overreacting, nothing will happen.

Armin noticed your discomfort, and before he could said something, Levi looked at him and harshly ordered, “You are still here, Arlert? Go back in training.” The blonde got taken aback looking at his scared face, and ran off with a "yes sir!".

Trying to sound normal and collected, you replied, “Sure thing, what do I need to do?”

“Alright, listen closely you two,” you said, looking at Springer and Jaeger, “For this to work you have to work with your whole body, something that I noticed you don't do in your training today.”

“But I moved more than before and I still can't do it! It's impossible to go faster than that!” Connie exclaimed frustrated, “I don't even know how Jean is going faster than me!”

“That horseface actually go faster than me too, that stupid horse...” Eren mumbled. You just let out a laugh, and tried to act serious— Levi was watching you three from afar. Looking specially at you, though,

“Don't say 'I can't do it' because you certainly can,” you looked at Connie, “Listen, Springer. The Corporal is the fastest of us, you know why?” the cadet shacked his head, taking interest, “It's because of his height. He is very short- just like you. I even can say that you could match his speed at some point.” You tried to raise his spirit, thing that succeeded, by the looks of his joyful face.

Now, looking at Eren, you said, “Jaeger, you have to work with your movement. Just think when you are in air as you... are dancing.” By the looks of his expression, he really didn't fully understand your statement, because his confused frown. “Now, now, don't give me that look. It sounds ridiculous, but it does the job. Just imagine the people dancing at the festivals— they are in sync. You have to be in sync with you gear, just like a dance.” To make them fully understand you had to show them, something you wanted to avoid but it seemed impossible.

“Alright, let me show you. You have to see closely, understand?” They nodded, looking excited. Gulping, you looked ahead into the forest. Ignoring the voice in your head stopping you to do this, you prepared yourself and nailed your hook at the nearest tree, and then, you flied.

At first, it didn't feel that uncomfortable. Your mission here was to not be that harsh with your movements, but showing the speed to the cadets was the point of this, so avoiding any movement seemed impossible.

“Now I have to turn...” You reluctantly thought. Your grip tightened and in the second your hooks nailed in the trees, at first you prepared for the worst, but when nothing came you relaxed and even smiled. Even taking a look on the two cadets made you relaxed; they were in awe and the corporal just looked pleased.

“See? Nothing to be wo-”

And then, you felt it.

Your thoughts got interrupted thanks to the familiar sensation on your throat. The feeling made you alerted and disorientated, making you lose your grip on the blades and unhooking them off the tree. The falling wasn't that flawless, looking at how high you were.

You fell on some bushes, making your fall at least not that bad. When you hit the ground you instantly threw up white flowers, ignoring any pain you felt at the moment.

Full little flowers. At first sight, they were beautiful, but not for you anymore.

You practically forced yourself to stop vomiting, and held any flowers from coming out. Knowing the others will come to see if you were alright, at least you had to bear with all the pain until you could get out of there. Trying your best to cover the petals with the bushes, you tried to stand but failed to do so.

“Squad Leader [Name]! Are you alright?!” you heard both Connie and Eren calling for you, and less than a minute they were with you, helping you to stand. Gulping all petals who wanted to come out, you tried your best to just smile.

“Phew! That was a nasty fall. Sorry you had to see that, and i'm the example here, haha...” dusting off your clothes made wince in pain, thing you tried to hide by just laughing. The pair of cadets just kept talking and trying to not worry you that much. They both eventually stopped talking when a certain corporal appeared, with an expression you know very well— he was trying to know what happened, read the situation.

“Cadets, both of you will look for Petra and tell her she's on training duty.” Hearing his orders, both of them saluted and left. He looked at your poor act of getting it together, and asked angrily, “What the hell happened?”

Come on, [Name]! Keep it together!

“My hooks didn't sunk in the tree, simple as that.” Scratching your head, you proceed, “Actually, maybe the hand-grip isn't that-”

“Stop talking shit.”

You gulped. “Uh? What are you talking about? I said my hooks—”

“Quit lying to me.” Levi approached you, taking your arm roughly, making you gasp in pain. Actually, your senses awoken again— now fully feeling the pain in your arm, leg and ribs. “You know I hate lies. More if they come out of your mouth.”

You didn't say a word at all. You didn't dare to make the situation worse.

“Can you walk?”

Leaving his grip on your arm, you tried to take a few steps; you could walk, but you were limping with your right leg. And every time you took a step, a sharp pain was felt in your knee. Levi sighed in irritation, and helped you walk by taking your arm on his shoulder and placing his hand on your waist.

“What a pathetic attempt.”

The closeness made you sick, and the flowers wanted to be released.

“We'll go to the infirmary, then.”

Your ribs didn't break, thankfully. You just had some colorful bruises covering your right leg, left arm and waist. It wasn't that bad, not as bad as the flowers, at least.

After getting parched up, you both went to Levi's office, just to do some "relaxing" paperwork you both had to do. You always went to his office to make him company, something he didn't mind. You had to play it safe— if you avoided him, he would ask questions, and when he asks he wants real answers. Things you couldn't give.

Somehow, your little talk made you forget about all of the feelings and thoughts you were having. There was just the two of you, like it always has been. You forget about the flowers, and they seemed to forget about you just for a moment.

“You have something on your hair.” you heard the raven say, seeing his hand coming closer to you, taking off a leave. “And there's something on your face, too. Disgusting...” Even when he said that, his fingers touched your cheek, cleaning it off, before cleaning his own fingers with a napkin.

The event made you slightly blush —at least you hoped—, and thank him.

“A-Anyways, did Petra said anything about Eren and Connie?” you asked, remembering the little talk both of them had an hour ago, when you were in the infirmary getting check on.

“They did better,” he replied, writing on his papers. “They wanted to know badly how you were, though.”

“Aw! They care about me!” you exclaimed with a big smile. Even if you wanted to play it off, the feeling of the kids caring about you warmed your heart. “How adorable!” The feeling just made you blush.

Your words made the Corporal look at you with a questioning gaze. “What? Do you think they are the only ones caring about you?” Levi asked, stopping his work. “How disappointing.”

Laughing, you talked, “What am I hearing? Does Levi care about me more than the cadets?”

“What if I do?”

Your grip on the pen tightened; your heartbeat went crazy; your blush covering your cheeks went deeper, covering your ears. Words seemed disappear of your vocabulary— you didn't understand how some words could steal your breath like that. But it was because it's him. The one you like the most. Time seemed to stop.

It seemed that the sight of you made him smirk in pleasure. He come closer to your face, looking directly at your eyes. “I asked something. What If I care more than them?”

[Name]! Remain your composure! “W-Well, uhm...” clearing your throat, you proceed, “Then you care about me. That's... all...”

“Why you always forget?”

“Forget? Forget what?”

“About how I can't stand your lies.”

“Lies?! Ahem! What do you want me to say? It's nice that you care about me.” You stopped thinking about what you were saying, so you just let whatever thing came out of your mouth. Uh-oh. Good or bad thing? “I care about you too, anyways.”

He arched his eye brown,“Is that so?”, he slightly smiled, by your surprise. “More than the cadets do, I assume?”

“Of course. We've know each other since you came here, right? Actually, I think I'm the first one who didn't fall for your scary face, along with Hange.”

“Ah, how could I forget how irritating you were,” closing his eyes, he proceed, “even when I knocked you out, you kept being a childish little shit, always returning.”

“Hey! But you love this little shit, don't you?” Laughing, you returned to your work, uncaring of the answer.

“I'm glad you stayed.”

You froze. Levi wasn't the time of saying this like this to you; there were always harsh words in a playful nature. But nothing like this before. Nevertheless, him saying that made a smile on your face.

“I'm glad too.”

After that, a pleasant silence fell. The only sound the both of you heard was the pens writing on your papers and the sound outside. You didn't notice the sky turning dark, until an ocasional glance to the window made you exclaimed, “It's dinner time!”

The Corporal looked at the dinner and let out a hum, you only proceed to stand up from your seat and stretch. “Let's go, Levi. We forgot to do tea, so let's hurry up!”

“Go first, I will join soon.” He replied.

“Alright, then. Will make tea when I get there.” Nodding your head, you didn't bothered to bring you papers with him; it was normal for you to leave them arranged on a part of his desk. He always said "take your shit with you", but you always laughed it off. Strange, because this time, he didn't say anything. You left, but your thoughts made you slow your walk.

You noticed Levi was being more... open to you. Could that be a sign? Maybe? And now that you remember it, flowers weren't trying to get out of your throat. You even forgot about the illness, about the pain, about your future... You felt... nice, warm. Just like before the curse.

Could it be that... you had a future with him? The sudden thought made you blush and smile in embarrassment. Was he, maybe, in love with you? The conversation repeated on your head - and your mind kept re rolling the exact same phrase.

“I'm glad you stayed.”

“What if I care more than them?”

You stopped walking, and come to the realization that you actually wanted to make a move. Nothing could go wrong! The conversation of today made you believe that something could happen between the two of you! A bright smile made through your face thinking this— there was hope after all!

There was not time to waste, then! Your mind was made up— you were confessing right now. No one could interrupt you now; everyone had to be getting dinner, so the two of you couldn't be bothered. You nodded to yourself, and went back to Levi's office.

You couldn't believe it - this was all like a dream to you. You actually were going to have a future! You were going to be cured; everything was going to be alright from now on.

Noticing his door slightly opened, you scolded yourself for not paying attention to close it properly before leaving. Hey! That's not important right now! Shaking your head, you couldn't wait to open it and tell Levi your true feelings. Oh! You couldn't wait to tell Erwin and Hange about—

...

.

.

.

.

.

Ah. How could you forget? So foolish.

The sight in front of you made you petrify.

What was that you were feeling...? Surprise? Fear? Or was it... Heartbreak? How could you point the exact time your heart shattered, and the flowers bloomed once more in your heart? The realization fell like a ton of bricks. You never meant to be loved by him, it was for her. It never was for a person like you. Not you. Never, ever, for you. How could you forget? How? You were in denial.

The sudden realization made you snap out from your illusion.

NEVERFORYOUNEVERFORYOUNEVERFORYOUNEVERFORYOUNEVERFORYOUNEVERFORYOUNEVERFORYOUNEVERFORYOU.

You are a fool.

You really thought he loved you?

What a pitiful sight.

Go and cry, there's no saving you.

Thoughts invaded your mind like a parasite — repeating themselves with not a chance to be stopped.

And what was the sight that made you so unstable? Well, maybe you know it already.

Two people were embracing each other, with the moonlight above them, looking beautiful as a couple. Who were this two, you ask?

Levi, and Petra, obviously.

The petals were awoken once more, and with such a bestial force you never felt before.

Covering your mouth with your hand, you couldn't stop some petals to escape and lay on the floor, by your ignorance. You just ran out of there, and went to the only place your unstable mind wanted you to be.

Erwin arranged his paperwork again for maybe, the sixth time this night. There were never ending letters to respond, check once more the strategies for the upcoming expedition, and more, more letters.

“Seems like a sleepless night, again.” He thought, rubbing his temples.

Little did he know his lack of sleep wouldn't be only the papers.

The sudden noise of someone opening his door made him annoyed— and before he could scold the responsible person, he stopped himself as he saw you kneeling on the floor, vomiting white petals— no, flowers.

Without thinking he went to your side and rubbed your back in a gently manner. He remained calm, but something his sight caught made him horrified.

White flowers were decorated in red.

Outside, he remained clam, but in the inside he was more than worried; if vomiting flowers was a bad sign, vomiting blood with them was far worse.

You eventually stopped; you only could gasp, trying to breath. Your nostrils were leaked water, your lips had blood and saliva, and the only comforting thing that made you sane was Erwin beside you.

“I'm going to die, Erwin,” you could only say, with desperation in your voice. “I'm going to die, I'm going to die, I'm going to die...”

Erwin tried his best to hush you, “That's not true. We are going to fix this, there's a solution...” and he continued and continued, trying to calm your sobs and pleas. Hearing you like this, so broken, desperate, made something inside him ache. He only embraced you, holding you. You only wanted someone close to you, someone to hold you.

He had to move things fast, and find a way to fix you before it was too late.

“Let's go, then!” a certain blushing girl said, smiling brightly. The raven only nodded with a soft gaze, walking beside her, until something on the floor took his attention.

“Flowers?” Levi thought, looking at the white petals on the floor. Kneeling, he took some and look at them quietly. Beautiful at first sight, hiding the true meaning they had.

“Aren't you coming, Corporal?” Petra said, turned at him.

Levi hummed, covering the little flower on his front pocket, and returned walking, “[Name] is waiting.”

Cyclamen. Cyclamens are symbolic of resignation. It’s the flower that means goodbye too.

Because it is poisonous, death is also attached to its meaning. It also presents the fact that good things come to an end and so it’s also the type of flower you might want to make use of at funerals – because it speaks of departure aside from moving away and retiring.

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