Mynameisnotwhatyouthinkitis - Plants And Merlin

bakugou and a bunny

Arthur: Marry me.

Merlin: …is that a question? Or do I just show up to the wedding?

Arthur: what did I told you not to do?

Merlin: accuse the visiting nobles of crimes in front of the whole court

Arthur: and what did you do?

Merlin: accuse the visiting nobles of crimes in front of the whole court

Arthur: you cannot accuse visiting nobles of crimes in front of the Court Merlin!!!!!

Merlin: I wasn't wrong am I?????

Arthur: ..............

Arthur: but still!!!!!!!!

Snacks 4 life

Chishiya eating all dem snacks while everyone else be killing each other in prison...

Hob is such a naughty little omega. Deep down, he's a very specific type of slut - the type that needs to be roughed up a little before he turns docile, the kind that wants to be cute and pushy until he's overpowered without much effort. A strict voice and firm rules are all well and good, but Hob often yearns for something a little more. He doesn't show it often because he's been raised by society to be good and obedient. However, he knows that it's not his true self.

Having sat on this for awhile, Hob's not sure whether or not to tell his alpha. Dream of the Endless is a gorgeous alpha with an amazing smell and a commanding presence, and Hob had been weak at the knees on the day they first met. He remembers blushing with pride when Dream had picked him as his mate - him, on the large side, rougher looking, not a traditional beauty - despite having his pick of the land. It had been lust and more at first sight, and for the first time in his life, he had found himself wanting to be good, obedient, and perfect enough for Dream.

Dream is from a highly venerated, very old family. One can tell just how respectable Dream is as an alpha, from the restraint he shows around Hob. He doesn't throw his weight around. He's never pushy with Hob, and in public, he certainly doesn't grope, scent or do anything of that nature, even though Hob has more than once fantasized about that prospect. He certainly has been very restrained, even in disciplining Hob (yes, Hob has tried), limiting himself to stern words and statements of expectations for better behaviour. He doesn't even spank Hob! Hob knows Dream does his utter best not to treat him like a baby-bearing little simpleton, and probably even expects him to eventually step up to run a household worthy of an Endless alpha. So Hob doesn't know how he'll handle if it his omega revealed that he wasn't who his alpha thought he was, and was, in fact, far less respectable.

Still, despite all these issues, Hob is very happy. He has a great routine at home. Mornings are for him, afternoons are for chores and the preparation of their dinner. In the evenings, Dream comes home, pounds Hob till he's sore, then forces him to totter off to the kitchen to serve their meal, still unstable at the knees and dripping with cum and slick. The casual show of dominance is almost enough for Hob's slutty hind brain. Dinner is Hob trying to eat as quietly as he can while Dream talks about his day in a smooth, deep voice, highly unconcerned about Hob's discomfort. The chairs have no cushions and his ass is usually sore, or else he's jittery and overstimulated from not being allowed to come. Evenings and nights are pretty much about cuddling, fucking, talking, and other forms of quality time. They love each other very much.

One day, Dream is a little late from work. Hob has developed a Pavlovian response to the seven-o-clock chime of the clock by now, and he just can't help moaning in impatience and getting wet. Where is Dream? He's practically rutting himself into his bed! When Dream finally arrives at 7.30pm, what does Hob do but run out of their apartment, down the stairs, and out the main entrance onto the open street, to jump up with joy and welcome him back.

Unfortunately, in all his horniness, Hob is only wearing his shirt. Passersby on their busy street will swear to seeing a naked man bursting out onto the street with his arms up, a big silly grin, and a wet, flushed dick. Dream gets out the back of his long black car and almost has an aneurysm at the sight.

Upstanding Dream of the iron restraint Endless is this close to losing his restraint. His eyes flare wide for a moment before he acts. He opens his big black coat, steps flush up to Hob, then wraps him up and manhandles him back into their apartment, steep steps and all.

Hob, startled by the sensation of being swooped upon and picked up by Dream, is starting, through his fog of arousal, to realize what he did wrong. Oh. Oh, no. Oh no no no. He, Hob Gadling, the omega of the Dream of the Endless, was seen out prancing in the streets in a highly unbecoming fashion. Surely Dream will punish him now.

Surely Dream will at least bend him over his lap and give his ass (which Hob has kept firm and perky precisely for this occasion) a flurry or two of hot, tight smacks. Surely Dream will lecture him harshly on the importance of omega modesty and self-respect, using proprietary and objectifying language on Hob's body, till Hob is crying in shame and self recrimination. He would surely state in no uncertain terms that Hob's ass and hole and dick and balls, as well as his tits, all belong to him, and on no occasion is he allowed to go around slutting them out for others, even if it's by accident. Dream would have to make clear threats to get the point into Hob's mush brain, maybe threatening to slut him out to random alphas on the street, who will treat him so harshly he runs crying back to Dream, if he really insists on behaving like that sort of street slut. Maybe paddling his backside red all the while to reinforce the point.

Surely.

Slutty omega Hob I love you so much <333

The thing about Dream is that he would love to go all traditional discipline on Hob’s ass (literally), but. BUT. Before they were mated, he solemnly promised himself that he would not allow his own base instincts to rule over him. He and Hob are civilised, intelligent people. There's no need for domestic discipline in this modern age - no matter what Dream’s deranged horny brain may think about it. Unfortunately, the sight of Hob half naked and on display to any passing stranger effectively wipes away Dream’s modern sensibilities... and he completely forgets his intention to treat his omega with cordiality and respect. Oops.

He comes out of his lust and possessive-addled haze some hours later and is horrified at what he has apparently done. Hob is laying across the kitchen table, face down. His arse is a bright, throbbing pink colour - there's a spatula laying on the table too, which clearly made the marks on Hob’s body. The kitchen floor is wet, puddled with slick and cum and probably Hob’s tears. Dream is horrified. His cock is still buried deep inside Hob’s sloppy hole, and he's still actually thrusting into his omega as he stands there and stares.

At that moment Hob turns his head to look at Dream. His beautiful brown eyes are overflowing with tears. Dream is already wondering how he can ever make this up to his poor omega - will Hob leave him? Possibly. He surely won't stand for such treatment.

"Thank you." Hob croaks instead. "This is just what I wanted. If you keep on like this, I promise that I'll be such a good boy."

Dream cums on the spot, and Hob never goes a day without a spanking ever again <3

Random cook (looking at a massive spread of sweets): why did we make this again?

Head cook: Arthur is gay for his manservant

Merthur in fanfics

Merlin, about Arthur: We will have to add another hole in that belt.

Arthur: Are you saying i’m getting fat?!?

Merlin: If you keep eating like this, yes.

———

Arthur, about Merlin: We will have to add another hole in that belt.

Merlin: Are you saying i’m getting fat?!?

Arthur: No, you are getting thinner by the minute!!

Merlin:

Arthur: Did you eat anything today at all??

Merlin:

Arthur: Do I have to force-feed you??

Merlin: *running away*

Arthur: Come back here!! Stop excercising!! Eat something!!

bnha & what they smell like

viv's notes: self-indulgent brainrot, that is all.

tamaki amajiki smells like lavender laundry detergent.

keigo takami smells like cinnamon and apple spice.

denki kaminari smells (faintly) like lemon and sweat.

tenya iida smells like paper and ink.

shoto todoroki smells like fresh mint.

eijirou kirishima smells like cinnamon and axe body spray.

fumikage tokoyami smells like apples and vanilla candles.

shota aizawa smells like clean laundry.

hanta sero smells (faintly) like orange blossoms.

rumi usagiyama smells (faintly) like carrots and vanilla.

Arthur: I think Merlin’s mad at me.

Leon: What makes you say that?

Arthur: Watch.

Arthur: Hey, Merlin?

Merlin, formally: Yes, sire?

Gwaine, looking horrified: What in the five kingdoms did you do?!

Arthur: does something stupid with a sword that did not fix the problem

Merlin: godammit and I wanted a peaceful afternoon

Arthur: I have yet to encounter a problem where a sword didn't factor into the solution at least in some way.

Merlin: That’s because I deal with the ones that don’t involve swords.