Like If A Drink Is Gonna Taste Bad, Then I Want It To At Least Fuck Me Up, And If A Drink Isn’t Gonna

Feeling kind of apathetic but having an Every day is all there is kind of day but I made soup and I’m going to go on a brief walk and maybe do some tax stuff so it’s not all for nothing

Reasons Cale Henituse is the funniest motherfucker:

*People cheering for him in the streets* Hm. Don’t like that.

His self-proclaimed speciality is just disassociating on command

Someone: *helps him* Cale: *sighs* I guess I have to solve every problem you’ve ever had

When learning a language, memorised all the swear words before anything else

“I don’t like cats,” says Cale, holding two kittens tenderly, plotting a rebellion to instate a third cat as the new emperor

Single father of *checks notes* uh… 3 to 14 children,

All he wants is to retire to the country; can’t stop getting into international incidents

His relationship with the crown prince is basically: *points at each other* Bastard

Keeps telling people not to trust him while saving their asses from certain destruction

This loser thinks he’s ‘quiet’ and ‘good at keeping still’

Cale: *smiles gently* Everyone: oh god stop What the Fuck

‘Accidental Baby Acquisition’ trope but it’s ‘Accidental Family Acquisition’ and they’re all agents of chaos

“I heard you got hurt,” says a concerned child. “Yes, I coughed up blood.” Cale comforts, comfortingly.

[Girl hits on him] No thanks [Guy hits on him] No thanks

Everyone: you’re a good person Cale: incomprehensible, have a terrible day

Named his adopted son, a dragon, ‘Dragon’

Tells people to drink tea before pulling out something that will make them spray it everywhere like a cartoon

*to a 13 year old* No you can’t train to become a knight you’re too young *to a 5 year old* Alright tonight we’re gonna blow up an island and participate in the slaughter of half a race make sure to protect me well

His entire fucking backstory, like what? What???

Raon: I’ve only had this human for an hour and a half but if anything happened to him I would kill everyone on this continent and then myself Cale: That’s terrifying please stop talking

Never thinks, at any point, to tell anyone that he has a healing power 

He’s THE most extra bitch. Orchestrates his b&e’s like he’s conducting an opera, always plans for maximum Dramatic Effect

*The crown prince doesn’t help in a terror incident* That’s fine because he’s weak. *Finds out he’s strong actually* Bastard??????

Gives his kids an extravagant allowance. Doesn’t let them spend it and buys everything for them instead

‘I should have just got beaten up’, Cale thinks, war waging around him. ‘That would be far less annoying.’

K everyone Thunderbolts 7.5/10, better than recent marvel movies, just felt a little small? Short? Unsure I feel like it was missing some scenes. All the actors were great and the writing was good, very Florence Pugh heavy. Bunch of anti-heros did save New York by hugging away the antagonists depression so that was kind of on the nose. Not sure the mentally ill will appreciate this one too much. Great teaser in the post credit scene.

What’s up with the tumblr icon on the app? It’s a little wizard man

@schnuffel-danny hehehe

regarding this post: from schnuffle

Cale Being Mistaken as a Dragon

Some of my favorite sections to reread

ch77

Litana could see that the man had a magic bag on him, but did not have a sword or anything else, as if he had just come into the forest for a stroll. He also seemed to know his way around. He had an odd atmosphere around him. She suddenly thought of something.‘…Is he a dragon?’ She recalled the legend about the dragon that would grant your wish. The legend did not say anything about the dragon’s appearance nor how it showed up. Litana knew her thoughts were probably wrong, but she could not help but become full of anticipation. It was at that moment. Litana made eye contact with this man named Cale and could see him start to smile. “I am not a dragon.”

ch100-101

“Young master-nim, are you perhaps a dragon-.” Shawn and Tasha both froze up, while Choi Han’s pupils started to shake.”No.” Cale was very stern. “I am not a dragon.”

ch109

The Elf who stopped Cale did not budge at Pendrick’s actuals and became chaotic as he looked toward Cale.“T, tha-.”The Elf started to speak in a shaking voice. “Do, do you believe in mana?” Cale thought the Elf was asking if he was religious. Cale started to laugh out of nervousness. The middle-aged Elf flinched after seeing Cale’s smirk. This relaxed demeanor and those cruel eyes that looked down on anything other than himself. It was the same as the great gaze of a Dragon. ‘The feeling of a Dragon that is floating around in the air.’ There was no way a Dragon would be spinning around in circles like this. The Elf was certain that Cale was using his aura and spinning it in a circle to play around with the lifeforms in the restaurant. It was something a Dragon would do. If that was the case, then there was only one person the Dragon it could be. ‘That person has the strongest scent of nature on him.’

… He had to be a Dragon. But he did not dare to say that out loud….“I do not believe in something like mana.”A Dragon would have responded that he believed in mana. However, Cale answered that he did not believe in mana.

Cale looked directly into the Elf’s eyes and made his stance clear.

The Elf slowly started to look down. “… I will proceed as you wish.”…“I apologize for disturbing you. I will pretend not to know you in the future, sir. I pray that you are not upset.” ‘…This is too weird. It definitely feels like he is treating me like a Dragon. An Elemental that has met a Dragon would definitely tell this Elf that I am a human. What is going on?

ch222

He flattened himself against the silver shield and observed Cale, who was on the other side. To be more accurate, he was observing the area around Cale. “…I smell a Lord. That power from earlier was definitely a Dragon Lord. I know it was. I’ve smelled it before.” ‘This crazy bastard.’ Cale could not help but think that way after seeing this scene that. seemed to be straight out of a horror movie. “Are you a Dragon?” The mage’s eyes sparkled. The fiery thunderbolt. That thunderbolt was made up of pure natural power and mana. This was not something a human mage could do…. “You’re a Dragon. Hmm? Are you a Dragon that came out to play? Is it you? Or is it that thing next to you? Hmm?” Bang! Bang! The Dragon half-blood’s two fists slammed against the shield. ‘This crazy bastard. Does Arm only have lunatics like this?’ Cale looked toward the completely insane person and started to speak “A Dragon that came out to play my ass. Sounds more like your brain went out to play. Stop spewing such nonsense.” “Hahahaha!” The Dragon half-blood started to laugh at Cale’s response. “Yes, I knew you would be that way. Dragons are always good at doing things like this. They feign ignorance and then play around with people much weaker than them. Kahaha, how fun. This is so much-.”

Edit: ch639

[Bakehe] could see the long vertical pupils after seeing Rasheel’s eyes up close. He then started to think about the spells Rasheel used that even the Royal Mage could not use. Rasheel’s mana and skills were also strong enough to take down a sword master like himself. ... The person calling him a human bastard was not human. ‘…A Dragon! Smile. Rasheel started to smile. “You finally get it? You finally understand who I am?”

The young boy walked over to Bakehe and made a comment. “We gathered to prevent you from working with the White Star to create chaos in the world.” Bakehe recalled how Rasheel couldn’t even talk back to this young boy. He had acted as if he was addressing a superior. Who could a Dragon address as a superior? '…Another Dragon!’ It would be impossible unless it was another Dragon. “I heard that the kingdoms on the Eastern continent are working with the White Star to cause chaos on the Western and Eastern continents.” The young boy gave off a noble demeanor. He seemed even more Dragon-like than Rasheel and naturally gave off a sense of being a ruler. “We could not sit back and let you do as you pleased. Did you really think you could survive after pulling this kind of crap?” ... “If you continue your alliance… Your future will only consist of chaos, destruction, and despair.”

The young boy looked toward Rasheel, who added on in a growling voice. “Human, make sure to heed our warning as we are saying it as the representative of the Dragons." Cale nodded his head. ‘I’m not a Dragon, so Rasheel needs to say it as the representative of the Dragons.' However, Bakehe thought that Cale nodding his head looked more majestic and caused him to think. ‘The Dragons are gathering because of what the White Star is trying to do!’ Dragons were too strong. They were able to easily handle a sword master like Bakehe. ‘And if there are multiple Dragons……?!’ Would he be able to survive?

There's probably some im missing

I'M ACTUALLY HYPERVENTILATING RN LIKE MY HANDS ARE SHAKING AND I'M GETTING LIGHTHEADED!!!

LIKE THE FIRST MOMENT I SAW HIM I INHALED SO SHARPLY MY EYES DARKENED FOR A BIT I GENUINELY ALMOST PASSED OUT I WISH I WAS JOKING ABOUT THIS!!!!!

I HAVE GENUINE TEARS IN MY EYES RN!!!! THEY KEPT HIS BOOB WINDOW!!!! AND THEY GAVE HIM EARRINGS!!!!!!!

file -> phrases that are going to shift something in me forever