Envy

Envy

They got it, 

So why can't I?

How come they automatically get it?

And I have to work so hard for mine.

They just did that one thing,

And all that opportunity came their way,

What about me?

I sit here struggling.

Fighting for pennies,

Fighting to be heard,

Fighting for peace,

And alI I seem to get is brick walls and resistance.

I don't want to be them,

I don't actually like them,

I don't actually want their lives.

But I want the same opportunities,

I want those doors to open for me,

I want that ease that I witness in them.

I hate my life.

I openly reject it.

Victimising myself to anyone who will listen,

Playing the blame game to deflect my ownership,

Proudly accepting sympathy for my shortcomings,

I have dug this ugly, defensive hole that I sit in. 

But the truth is,

That we are all blessed in our own way,

We all have experiences in good & bad,

We all  have moments of right and wrong,

We all have ways of not seeing the positives over the negatives.

What is one's person ease,

Is the other persons hardship,

What one person's hard work,

Is another person's cup of tea,

What is your walk in the park,

Is another person's walk through the trenches.

We all have our own struggles,

We all have our own point of pain,

This is just mine,

And I'm sure you have yours,

We are not any better than each other,

We are all just humans having our own human experience.

Envy is a bitch.

A cruel deadly sin that lurks within,

Eating away at our love for each other, 

Creating barriers of the haves and have nots, 

Identifying where we hold lack inside.

But envy can also be a catalyst for change.

Creating inspiration,

Evoking aspiration,

Driving up our determination,

Making us want it more.

What is their victory,

Is also my possibilities,

If they can do it,

So can I.

They got it with such ease,

Imagine what I'll receive if I actually try?

I put my all into it,

Bending backwards,

Beg, borrow & steal,

Determined to claim what is mine.

I achieve my goal, 

I receive my glory,

I stand tall in my victory,

The evidence of all my hard work.

But soon that day will come,

Where others will see my success,

Oblivious to my journey,

Unaware of my set-backs,

Unconscious of my struggles.

Where is mine, they will say?

When do I get my chance?

How come they got it so easily?

And the truth is that,

What goes around comes around, 

The endless cycle of the human condition.

We notice the similar tone,

We witness the familiar themes,

We recognise the signs of envy.