HE HAS NO REASON TO BE THIS FUCKING HOT.

why not both-

you can do one of two things:

consume the horrors

or

2. fuck the horrors

Mood: rn

Yoo. Yuu's giving me a very much Bob Ross vibes.

Older!Yuu

I’m just here to mix-and-match different kinds of Yuus with different kinds of personalities to see what monstrosity I can make. That being said,,, Older!Yuu brainrot!

Honestly? I just wanted to make Crowley a simp and it escalated.

Anyway, Older!Yuu who’s always exhausted, gives weird life stories that may or may not be true, gives oddly good advice, and mostly has no fucks to give anymore.

Also has that dilf/milf/pilf vibes going on, even with or without children.

Then again, it doesn’t even matter if they have children or not cause they’re going to end up adopting majority, if not all, of the school, anyway.

Yuu wakes up in the coffin, pauses to take in where they were, and then curses.

“Fuck, I knew I shouldn’t have drunk that expired milk…”

They initially think they’re dead and just spend a few minutes in the coffin chilling and thinking of things like, “At least I get to go free from the family reunion, that’s something…”, “Jannet’s baby’s ugly. Are babies supposed to be that wrinkly? Maybe I should’ve gifted them an anti-wrinkle cream on the baby shower instead…”, and “Damn, I should’ve had Matt pay me back the money he owed me in high school had I known I was going to die. That asshole always somehow conveniently forgets to bring any money with him whenever we meet…”

That is until they heard a voice outside the coffin and see the coffin’s lid being pushed aside to meet face to face with… a cat.

“Whaaaaaaa!!!! Why are you up?!”

“You know, I’m wondering the same myself…”

Keep reading

Ouch

your fictional boy toy is just pixels. not mine tho mine is real and he's on my bed watching me blog giggling and kicking his legs in the air

Another Twisted Wonderland theory time! This round it’s about Night Raven College and its Headmage, Dire Crowley.

I’m catching up to Chapter 4 and one of the NPCs said this.

Then I was like-

Night Raven does not act like a big name university financially. What prestigious university has a rotting building with ghosts from a century ago in it(which really means that’s how long it’s been sitting there decaying until Yuu started inhabiting it). Furthermore, if it was such a prestigious university it could’ve handled one more student in the event of an exchange student or someone like Yuu coming along. Crowley was clearly able to let Kalim enroll on such short notice. Which has made me come to the following: Dire Crowley is a con artist who’s stealing money from the school for his own pleasure.

First off: So far there are at least five families who are rich who’s kids go to Night Raven( Schoenit, Draconia, Asim, Shroud, Kingscholar), and the Asim family paid for Kalim’s way into school. Not only that but Crowley gets 10% of the Monstro Lounge’s profits. There should be no reason as to why Ramshackle wasn’t fixed before Yuu got here. Which leads me to believe that Crowley is taking all the money the school gets, and putting it into his pockets. An example would be during Chapter 4, when Crowley goes on a vacation. A vacation that he really shouldn’t have been able to afford, when you think about the school’s financial situation.

Which leads me to an answer as to how Crowley is getting extra money aside from the donors. Crowley is consistently coming Hard Insurance Fraud. How do I know you ask? It’s easy, the answer right under our noses. The overblots are Crowley’s way of committing insurance fraud.

In the Heartslabyul chapter, Crowley was standing directly in front of Riddle as he was dangerously close to overblotting and even suggested the idea of a duel which further progressed the overblot. Crowley did nothing to stop Riddle when he could’ve done anything. Of course, the overblot damaged some of the school property. This leads me to believe Crowley is purposefully letting students overblot so he can claim property insurance money, and use it for himself.

Of course, there’s no proof of said property damage if someone from the insurance company wanted to visit, because it’s usually fixed by magic so no one can tell whether or not the insurance money was used to fix the damage.

Another instance of possible insurance fraud was when Savanaclaw was injuring people to take them out of the competition. Most of these injuries were mild to serious and probably required a trip to the hospital at least. It wasn’t until a Heartslabyul student was pushed down the stairs by Ruggie (something that can be deadly in an instant) that Crowley intervened and asked Grim and Yuu to investigate. Sure, Crowley could take a couple of broken legs and sprained ankles, but someone accidentally dying from a push down the stairs or getting stomped to death by a stampede of people was too far.

In conclusion, Crowley let people get injured during Book 2 so he can claim the insurance checks from their injuries. Assuming the student’s families don’t use their own insurance policies when their students are living their for the year.

Crowley is con artist!

AHAHAHAH PUTANGINA ANO TOH 😭😭

ANUBAAA 😭

behold all my stick figures

PLS

On the subject of mermen and mermaids, I’m trying to think of a serious idea but the only thing that comes to mind is… A shy merman or maid, possibly with social anxiety, having a crush on a human. But all they can think of doing to show their interest is… catching fish and throwing it at said human. 

Not giving it.

Throwing it. Like at the head. And then vanishing under the waves again while the human tries to figure out WTF just happened.