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Modern Fantasy Dwarf Headcanons #2

Dwarven young are extremely well protected. Most will not leave the mountains until they are the human equivalent of ten years of age. More so, dwarven young will not be allowed out of their homes until they are the human equivalent of five. This has caused the misconception of dwarven babies being carved from stone. 

Of course the parents often take it as a compliment! To dwarves comparing the child to rocks or stronger metals/gems is similar to saying their child is strong and will live a long life. Common things dwarven parents call their children are often Pebble, Stone, Precious Gem, Gold Nugget, Ore, and in some instances Coal Ember. This, of course, only makes the misconception of dwarves being carved from stone more popular. 

Common nick names given to children often have to do with the parent’s craft. It is not uncommon to hear the dwarf child being called Little Pickaxe or Little Forge depending on profession. Many times the parent chooses to only refer to the child by a nickname when outside of the mountain they live in. It is an old custom carried on into the present that is meant to protect the child by making sure a stranger cannot trick them into thinking they can be trusted. 

When it comes to human charges, however, the rules change. Often dwarven family will refer to the human as their middle name, a family name, or by descriptors. Though some will refer to them as metals/stones/precious gems and the like it is not as common as the former. It can be guessed with a surprising bit of accuracy that a dwarf who refers to their human(s) as metals, stones, or precious gems has known that human since their birth and has taken over most of that human’s raising since then. This also carries over to other species adopted by dwarves though humans are the most common. 

It is considered bad manners to refer to someone as their actual name when introducing them to strangers unless that stranger is in a higher position than both persons. If one does not know the rank of the stranger a safe bet to go with is the dwarf’s family name/clan name with a descriptor such as ‘Dark hair of the Irontooth Clan’. Children are not to be introduced to strangers until they are firmly in their teens. This has caused quite a bit of shock to dwarves being introduced to children of other races. The most children get as introduction to a stranger is ‘my child’ or ‘my (2nd/1st/3rd/etc..) eldest/youngest’. 

WARNING: Do not ask a dwarf child their name. Ever. 

The Tweet Part 2

You’d been scrambling to work with Tagora and the others to come up with a way to cover Marvus’ blunder. It wasn’t like you could sweep it underneath the metaphorical rug or anything, it’d have to be addressed at some point, and soon if you wanted to avoid a good deal of the drama. As it stood, you’d both have to do an interview. A strictly regulated interview, of course, but an interview nonetheless. Something about salvaging your images. Not like you had an image to salvage. Marvus was the star here and you were just the friendly human. Never before had you been so happy for having only the most dumbass shit on your accounts paired with enough vague nonsense no one would look deeper than ‘bumbling newbie to concert got lucky and swept into a whirlwind romance’. The type of shit every fan wished would happen to them. 

A perfect cover.

You might even be able to save your privacy if you played up the newbie act. It wouldn’t exactly be hard. In all honesty you didn’t pay much attention to Marvus’ work other than that first concert and whatever he deigned important enough to share with you. Mostly your thoughts on cover art for albums. You were his human sounding board when it came to those things. Other than the odd question you were just along for the ride. The two of you had built your relationship outside of the limelight which is another reason it had lasted longer than his other relationships. You were his break from stardom and as far as you were concerned Marvus was just another troll. One with plenty of perks but still just an ordinary person. So, it wouldn’t be hard to play the idiot in this. Even if you knew exactly what you were stepping into at the start of this relationship.

Absorbed in your own share of work going through the preplanned script for a, now inevitable, interview you didn’t hear the lock on your door click or the muffled squeak of the front door’s rusting hinges. No, as you grumbled and griped to no one in particular about idiot juggalos and how you were going to beat them with their own clown shoes- Marvus was free to slip in quietly and stand in the doorway of the living room where you were typing away. If you had seen him and the smug little smile on his face you would have launched a pillow at his face no mercy. But he had every right to be smug. He’d been debating dropping hints about your relationship for some time now. The only reason he’d held back for so long was because it meant throwing you into the middle of the lion’s den. He simply couldn’t bring himself to do that to you. It was why he’d caved so quickly to his PR team’s demands. If they wanted to keep the relationship private then he had no qualms with it. Having you all to himself was a welcomed distraction from everything he put out in the open to please his fans. You weren’t one of the screaming masses, not some simple fan who wanted to claw their way into his life, you were simply his. You never saw him as Marvus The Performer, you saw him as Marvus The Person. Marvus your matesprit. Though, he wasn’t going to waste this opportunity now that it was out in the open. He wouldn’t ever have to pretend to be a concerned friend when people blatantly flirted with you. Wouldn’t have to play off his jealousy as simple attention seeking. You were his matesprit and those fuckers were lucky he didn’t straight out attack them. He would have been well within his rights to do it. Messiah’s knew he’d come close to throwing caution to the wind when it came to you. Only an idiot would try for a red quad with you now that Marvus was in the picture. It made him smile. 

“You gonna stand there like the cat who ate the canary or are you gonna help me fix this?” You huffed when you finally noticed him. He had the decency to look a little sheepish as he plopped down on the couch to read over the shit show his team was trying to wrangle into submission. 

“You know I wasn’t doin’ that shit on purpose right?” He asked after a moment of nothing but the cold shoulder. Usually you were happy to greet him with a smile and a kiss when he stopped by. Something he looked forward to every time he got to see you. Now you were too absorbed in work to offer him more than a glance. Your fingers slowed and the rapid tapping dwindled to nothing as you sighed. 

“I know, honestly I’m impressed we kept it under wraps this long.” You gave a small chuckle and shook your head. There was a hint of a smile playing on your lips and it made Marvus relax. As long as you weren’t truly angry with him he’d be fine. And you weren’t- not really- a little miffed but nothing serious. Seeing him relax and start grinning in that smug way again reminded you of your earlier promise though. With no warning you smacked him once- as hard as you could- in the arm. It’d do little more than shock him- the bastard. As predicted he jumped and swiveled his head to look at you in surprise. 

“Wh-,”

You didn’t give him the moment to speak as you glanced away long enough from your work to give him a kiss. He blinked at you silently until it caught up to him and a lazy grin spread across his face. Turning back to the laptop you felt his arms snake around you and ever so carefully drag you closer to him. You had a feeling you weren’t going to be getting much done now as he pressed a kiss just behind your ear. 

Don't forget to leave your honey and game grubs for sollux captor tonight

ur government assigned gender for the day is the first thing u get when u click this link to a randomised wikipedia article. NO REROLLS . i am the  trollsteineggje mountain in norway

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