Duvet - Lee Felix
duvet - lee felix
pairing: lee felix x reader
summary: it's raining outside, and felix has an idea...
genre: fluff, non-idol! au, comfort, crack
a/n: second felix fic. here we go...
"Look at the raindrops, Lixie."
He hums, slender fingers tracing the frosted glass and the patterns of said raindrops as they slide down the pane. Both of you are leaning over the back of the couch and watching the rain patter neverendingly through the window. It's cold, even inside the house, and Felix's fluffy-socked feet touch yours as you both sit in amiable, companiable silence.
The storm has been going on for a while. It began this morning, deciding that it was going to pour down all of a sudden while both of you were in the garden, resulting in a heap of wet clothes, a steaming hot shower, multiple cups of hot chocolate, and two pairs of fluffy winter socks. You smile at the remembered chaos of the moment, both of you running like headless, soggy chickens over the lawn, making a break for the patio door, screaming and laughing and blowing away the wet hair plastered to both your foreheads. It was funny, considering you both decided to shower straight after. It was like stepping out of the storm and into another (though much warmer than the first).
You're pulled out of your thoughts by the rustling sound of Felix getting out of couch. You whine as he gets up and he pats your head.
"Calm down. I'll be back in a second."
You huff and turn back to the window, already missing the warmth of his body and presence next to you. He returns a few moments later, dragging the duvet of your shared double bed into the living room.
"Felix!" You laugh. "What are you doing?"
He grumbles with the effort, groaning as he heaves the whole thing onto the couch. It envelops you both in a thick, heavy cocoon of warmth and spills off the sofa, pooling in heavy folds. Panting with the exertion, he flops back into his spot next to you, resting his head on his folded arms. "There."
You giggle. "You didn't have to bring the whole duvet, you know. There's already a few throw blankets that we keep here, remember?"
Felix sighs, scratching his head. "I know, but it wasn't warm enough."
"It was, actually."
He mimics your voice, shaking his head repeatedly and pulling a funny face. Laughing, you push him sideways in retaliation and he falls into the thick folds of the duvet, landing with a soft oof.
"Oh.." He groans, wiggling and burrowing further into the couch. "This feels so nice..."
You chuckle. "You're going to overheat under that thing."
Felix huffs. "I'll cool down then."
"How?"
He's silent for a minute. You gaze at him expectantly. Then, with a wicked grin, he springs up (with some effort) out of the duvet and seizes you around the waist, dragging you off the couch. You yelp and wriggle, but it's no use; Felix has always been far stronger than you. He hauls you to the glass patio door, the storm raging on outside. He opens the door a little and a gush of cold air rushes in, seeping straight through both of your clothes and sinking into your bones. You scream, laughing, and try to struggle away as Felix cackles, keeping a firm grip on you.
Felix huffs into your ear with a grin. "We could always cool off outside-"
"No! Let go, Lixie, please-" He jerks his arms forward a little, your hands pushing against the doorframe as he pretends to try and throw you outside, back into the storm.
You squeal and twist in his grip as he staggers back from the door, shutting it. The cold air is immediately replaced with the diffused scent of your favourite cinnamon candle and the aroma of hot chocolate as Felix relents. You clumsily tear yourself out of his loosening grip and let out a triumphant laugh. Felix does the same as he lunges for you again, and his foot slips out from under him. He topples forward, taking you with him to the floor. You both land on the thick duvet, and the whole thing is dragged off the couch.
Sighing and pushing his hands away from your waist, you grin and burrow into the duvet, giggling. Felix turns on his side to face you, hand coming up to bring a fold of blanket over your bodies, wrapping both of you in a thick, heavy burrito roll. He giggles too.
It's hard not to when you're surrounded by the intoxicating, cosy warmth of each other's presence.
a/n: send in some requests for me ! they'll be published within a day <3
More Posts from Moon-ttokki-x and Others
Hii! Your 9th member fics are what keeps me going, they're all so good. It's unbelievable!
Would it be okay for me to make a request? Maybe headcanons on how would the members act around a short reader (even shorter than Changbin)? Who would be helpful, who would be annoying? And what if the reader is the type to steal their clothes?
The brainrot is real... I'm not even shorter than Changbin... but I had a dream about it...
once i had a dream where hyunjin shaved my head so 'we could be matching' and i woke up sweating . . . another time i had a dream where jisung and i got into a dating scandal so he picked me up and ran along the beach while JYP was running after us shouting 'break up' sooooo . . . it's a stay thing
skz x short 9th member!reader
pairing: ot8!skz x short 9th member!reader
summary: how skz would act around a short member (who's even shorter than changbin)
genre: crack, idol! au, that's literally it. pure crack. and some fluff. also little shit!maknae line au. but. nothing else. i think.
a/n: divider by @saradika-graphics
skz masterlist
first of all
skz have decided that you are an armrest
so you can just be standing anywhere
and some member will come up to you and just
rest their arm on your head or lean on you
usually it's hyunjin bc he's tall, or minho bc he's a cheeky shit
jeongin did it once and you threatened to bite him
so he never did it again
you let chan and felix do it tho bc they're sweethearts
they don't rest their arms on your head, they do it on ur shoulder which is acceptable
han tried to do it once and he missed
and then fell over
like really badly
anyway
not a single day goes by when you don't have to ask someone to get something down from somewhere for you
perpetual aching in your tippy toes from how much you stand on them
you do try to be helpful, just at a lower level
during dance practices, you're always the one to turn the studio music on or off bc it's closer to the floor
you just bend down and tap the music off
which saves most of the members backache ahem chan
especially felix, who has back issues and isn't supposed to be doing that kind of stuff
sometimes you just turn the music off altogether and disrupt everyone
which results in a defeated lecture from chan and an intense glare from minho
he loves you really
you also spend most of your time thrown over changbin's shoulder
he's overjoyed to have a member who's shorter than him
most of the members usually poke your sides and try to make changbin drop you
they stopped doing that after you accidentally kicked seungmin in the chest
puppy didn't talk to you for two days
you also love stealing their clothes
they're just so comfy !! and they smell good !!
they're also ideal to sleep in bc they're so oversized, so it's like a blanket in itself
you can just pass out anywhere
like a kitten
and you usually get carried back to the dorm like a child
being the shortest also means being the brunt of most of skz's teasing
at this point the boys care more about your height than they do about chan's age
which says something
but they know when to stop, because they know what it's like to be teased about something they can't control
so even though they can be annoying, they also try to make things easy for you
you hang out with jeongin a lot
you two maknaes kind of found each other and as a result, spend a lot of time together
which usually means you passing out at jeongchan's dorm instead of the minsung dorm
did i mention you live with minsung ??
anyway
most of the time you're splayed out in innie's bed
or when he has a late schedule and you're waiting at the dorm for him, chan lets you sleep in his bed
and then forgets that you're in there
so when he actually decides to sleep he gets the scare of his life because you're curled up under the sheets
you def own lots and lots of chunky boots and platforms
you love that sort of stuff, not just because of the height it gives you
also useful to kick people
especially sasaengs
but the maknae line comes in handy for that sooo....
no need tbh
honestly i think any of them would be willing to fight for you
even hyunjin
(even tho hes a stick figure and has the combat strength of a singular wet penne pasta)
in reality, you really do try your best for skz and work as hard as you can
often it's the guys who tell you to take breaks or help you to slow down
bc you're just so go go go all the time
and you don't realise how tired you are until changbin sits you down on the couch
and felix hands you a bowl of something hot to eat
being with them is one of the best things that has ever happened to you
so
no matter how short you are, it doesn't matter
bc you want to be with them as long as possible no matter what the circumstances are !!
<3
a/n: i like the divider hehe
hihi can i request 66 w/ Jisung? Kind like crack were you are both dead sick or smth? anyway have a great day/sleep (เน>โก<เน) ur write is to die for btw
โ anon ๐ฃ๐
hihi yes you can~ sorry this took a while to post lol, lots of wips. aww thank you, giggling n kicking my feet rn <3 here you gooooo my little chick paperclip anon lol
hot soup - sick bf!han jisung x sick!reader
pairing: sick bf!han jisung x sick!reader
summary: you're suffering with jisung through a cold (that he gave to you)
genre: fluffy to the max, idol! au, this is honestly just crack, sick lil jisungie and reader
a/n: han would be the type of make funny noises when his nose is bunged up don't even try to change my mind
"You do it."
"No, you."
"I did it last time."
Jisung groans and heaves himself upright, tissues falling off the sofa like a mini avalanche. He sluggishly gets up and drags himself to the coffee table for the remote control, pressing the select button to play the next episode of the kdrama you're both watching.
He sniffs and flops back down on the couch next to you, groaning as the intro begins to play for the umpteenth time. "Y/n?"
His nose is bunged up so it sounds funny when he talks, and your voice is no better as you respond. "Mmm.."
"I'm hungry."
You whine and roll over, burying your face in the blanket. Jisung adjusts himself so you're lying on his chest, cuddled in each others' arms. Blankets swamp both of your bodies, so that if anyone were to look at both of you, they would see just a large lump of fabric. A very sniffly, sick, snotty lump of fabric at that.
You groan and let out an ungraceful sneeze, almost projecting yourself off the sofa. Jisung closes his eyes, mildly put out.
"I don't wanna get up," you sigh, burying your face back in his chest. He smells warm, the skin radiating feverish heat through the material of his hoodie, and the faint, spiced smell of vapour rub hangs distinctly in the air. Not that it seems to be helping. "But I'm hungry as well. What should we make?"
Jisung doesn't even have to open his mouth before you both agree on soup. There's a large pot in the fridge, courtesy of a disgusted Minho, who packed a bag and refused to return to the dorm until both of you were better.
The pot is about half full- you lift it with almost shaky arms and place it on the stove, switching on the heat. Jisung stands beside you as you begin to stir, watching how the chicken shreds and green onions spin in a mesmerising circle. Little oil bubbles rest on the top of the liquid, simmering deliciously as the soup heats up, and by the time it's ready, both of you are salivating.
You ladle half of the pot into each bowl and hand one to Jisung, who reaches into a drawer for a pair of chopsticks. You pause and watch as he sleepily dips them into the soup, clearly too dazed and ill-ridden to understand his amusing actions.
"Sungie," you croak, trying not to laugh. "It's soup."
"Mhm.."
"No," you correct him, "You can't eat soup with chopsticks..."
He blinks, once. Then twice. And then, very slowly, he adjusts his grip on the chopsticks and continue dipping them into the soup, bringing them to his mouth to lick off what little broth remains on the utensils.
You sigh and bring a spoonful of the hot, nourishing liquid to your mouth and groan as its warmth saturates the inside of your mouth, instantly comforting. You'll have to remember to thank Minho later, and maybe ask for the soup recipe too, so you can make it when you're not feeling so sick in the future.
You climb with some difficulty onto the counter and continue ladling the soup into your mouth while Jisung stands, sock-footed on the tiles, sluggishly licking broth off his chopsticks. You tilt your head at him.
"I still don't understand why you're doing that," you say quietly, letting the steam from your bowl soothe the congestion in your sinuses.
"Because," Jisung croaks. "My throat hurts and swallowing feels icky to me."
"That soup will be ice cold by the time you finally get to the bottom of it. That is, if you even make it that far. Go to sleep."
He whines and sets the bowl down, taking a plate from the dishrack to cover it. "You're telling me to sleep as if you don't look like a walking zombie yourself..."
You huff and kick him lightly in the stomach, swinging your legs off the counter. "I wouldn't be a walking zombie if you didn't get me sick in the first place, Sung."
"It wasn't my fault-"
"Yes it was," you croak, pointing an accusatory finger at him. "You kept me here all night cuddling without telling me you were sick."
He pouts. "But I wanted to be with you."
"So you purposely got me sick, is what you're saying."
Jisung looks away, a tired smirk making its way onto his features. "I just wanted to spend some time with my beautiful walking zombie baby. Can you blame me?"
You throw your spoon at him. "Han Jisung."
He ducks just in time, the spoon clattering to the floor. "Okay, okay, relax. I didn't know apocalyptic monsters were so temperamental..."
"Shut up and finish your soup."
"Okay, sorry."
a/n: i want soup so bad rn
โบโงโห๐ฟโฎ ๐ฐ๐ด๐ท ๐ช๐๐ฐ๐ฑ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ฐ๐ฑ ! ๐งโฎหโโงโบห
เนเฃญ โญ โ some guidelines . . .
-> warnings will now be posted at the top of each fic to make this post a lil bit neater.
-> comment on the taglist post if you want to be added to my fic taglist !
-> asks and dms are always open !
ot8!skz masterlist here . . .
เนเฃญ โญ โ anons : ๐ชป,
๐ฐ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฆ๐ข๐ฐ . . . โง
the fast lane (racer!bang chan x racer reader x racer!lee felix) โง (discontinued)
lonely st. (schoolboy!hwang hyunjin x schoolgirl reader) โง (completed)
stupidly perfect | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 (best friend!chan x reader) โง (ongoing)
๐๐๐ซ๐ค ๐ ๐ฅ๐๐ซ (๋ฐฉ์ฐฌ) . . . โง
golden hour - special event (bf!chan x female reader)
he comforts you on your period (bf!chan x female reader)
general fluff headcanons (bf!chan x female reader)
bang chan new years' special - yin and yang (bf!chan x female reader)
electrifying (producer!chan x female 3RACHA producer!reader)
make me (bf!chan x female reader)
hold me (bf! chan x depressed reader)
fendi (bang chan x female!9th member reader)
what you're worth (bang chan x 9th member!reader)
not your doll (bf!bang chan x reader)
star in the making - (idol!bang chan x overworked trainee!reader)
๐ฉ๐ข๐ข ๐ด๐ซ๐ฌ๐ด (๋ฆฌ๋ ธ) . . . โง
movie nights (bf!lee know x female reader)
opal (bf!lee know x female reader)
general fluff headcanons (bf!lee know x female reader)
rose | part 2 (college partner!lee know x female college student reader)
you did well (dancer!lee know x dancer reader)
keychain - (bf!lee know x reader)
๐ฐ๐ข๐ฌ ๐ ๐ฅ๐๐ซ๐ค๐๐ฆ๐ซ (์ฐฝ๋น) . . . โง
he comforts you on your period (bf!changbin x female reader)
little fighter (husband!changbin x female reader)
insomnia (bf!changbin x female reader)
sunflower (bf!changbin x female reader)
lotion (bf!changbin x female reader)
lamplight (bf!changbin x female reader)
ice cream & rain (bf!changbin x female reader)
gatecrasher undercover spy!changbin x female spy reader)
๐ฅ๐ด๐๐ซ๐ค ๐ฅ๐๐ฒ๐ซ๐ง๐ฆ๐ซ (ํ์ง) . . . โง
landscape (bf!hyunjin x female reader)
chrome nails (bf!hyunjin x female reader)
raspberries (bf!hyunjin x female reader)
general fluff headcanons (bf!hyunjin x female reader)
๐ฅ๐๐ซ ๐ง๐ฆ๐ฐ๐ฒ๐ซ๐ค (ํ์ง์ฑ) . . . โง
studio (bf producer!han x female producer!reader)
cold (bf!han x female!reader)
instant ramen (bf!han x female!reader)
minty (bf!han x female!reader)
hot soup - (sick bf!han x sick!reader)
a little bit sweeter - (college roommate!han x reader)
i want to understand you (han x female!reader)
๐ฉ๐ข๐ข ๐ฃ๐ข๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ต (ํ๋ฆญ์ค) . . . โง
galaxy (bf!felix x female!reader)
duvet (bf!felix x female!reader)
haze (bf!felix x female!reader)
always forever (best friend!felix x female bullied!reader)
felix x neko!reader headcanons (bf!felix x female neko!reader)
fall for you (college student!felix x female college student!reader)
floral tea (lee felix x reader)
your warmth (best friend!lee felix x reader with period)
๐ด๐ฆ๐ช ๐ฐ๐ข๐ฒ๐ซ๐ค๐ช๐ฆ๐ซ (์น๋ฏผ) . . . โง
bandaid (bf!seungmin x female reader)
fever (sick bf!seungmin x female reader)
batter up (baseball captain!seungmin x female baseball player reader)
stylist!reader x kim seungmin
bodyguard!seungmin headcanons
๐๐๐ซ๐ค ๐ง๐ข๐ฌ๐ซ๐ค๐ฆ๐ซ (์์ด์) . . . โง
recipe (bf!jeongin x female reader)
outfit (bf!jeongin x female reader)
snake (bf!jeongin x female reader)
general fluff headcanons (bf!jeongin x female reader)
that's true (secret bf!yang jeongin x reader)
dividers by @bernardsbendystraws | skz prompt list
hellaur! i'm pretty new here on tumblr and i was wondering if you wanted to be moots...i've been lowk stalking your writing for a while hehehe and ermm yeah!
hi this is the cutest thing i've ever seen in my inbox . . . ye being new always feels strange, at least it did for me, but sweets, you'll fit right into the community <3
i'm gonna take the blog-stalking as a compliment lol, and sure if you want to be moots then why not. i'm ttokki . what do i call you ?
lonely st. โง masterlist (hyunjin x reader)
summary : Y/n has been struggling with depression for months, but the isolation she feels at school makes it feel even worse. Itโs relentless, and no matter how hard she tries, she canโt escape the constant whispers, taunts, and loneliness. But then thereโs Hyunjinโher curious classmate and a popular figure at school. Slowly, he begins to see the pain behind Y/n's eyes. With the help of his best friend, Han, Hyunjin offers Y/n something she didnโt know she needed: a lifeline.
warnings : depression, all characters are of high-school age, loneliness, bullying, school!au, mentions of injuries, literally nothing is proofread, more warnings will be added as chapters are released ! see the warnings at the top of each chapter for more information .
chapter i : invisible
chapter ii : the first glimpse
chapter iii : the walls
chapter iv : falling
chapter v : behind closed doors
chapter vi : broken mirrors
chapter vii : the people who care
chapter viii : the breaking point
chapter ix : healing
season finale - chapter x : a new dawn
a/n: guys i actually thought this one out
Hi Ttokki! ๐ I just wanted to ask if you could possibly write some short scenarios of Stray Kids being protective over their ninth member!maknae!reader? ๐
Here are some ideas: a staff member is rude/impatient with the reader for no reason; a fan is being weird (getting too close, saying uncomfortable things, asking weird things); the reader receives hate for something stupid (sweating, being "too" comfortable/close with the members, having a scar, acne, whatever); during a variety show, the reader is forced to face a phobia and even almost cries (snakes, spiders, insects, etc); because of some pain or uncomfortable outfit, the reader's vocals are unstable during a performance and people hate on it.
I know there are many ideas... you of course don't need to use them if you don't wanna. Or even do this request at all. ๐ Either way, I hope your life is full of happiness! ๐ซถ
hii !! thank you for the request, anon <3 i think i might make this two parts lol . . . it might have gotten a bit long otherwise . i'll use the rest of your ideas in the maknaes' part . here you gooo~
protective!hyung line skz x maknae!9th member reader
pairing: protective!ot8!skz x maknae!9th member reader
summary: how skz would be protective of their maknae (that's you!)
genre: idol!au, 9th member!au, just hyung line being super sweet and protective, chan being intimidating asf, hyunjin being super cheeky but that's just who he is lmao (we love him really)
a/n: divider by @mikeykuns . also taglist is open for anyone who wants to join !
skz masterlist
Chan who firmly chides a staff member who's getting a little too riled up over a small mistake that you made during filming. He picks up the camera stand that you accidentally knocked over and guides you away, a hand on your back. Whispers a little joke to you and tries to make you smile in a bid to make you forget about being told off. Needless to say, that certain staff member seems to disappear when Chan is around you from then on, and you ask him if he did something to make that happen. He just looks away and suddenly changes the subject, and then later on, you notice that the staff member who kept telling you off is suddenly nowhere to be seen. Their belongings are gone from the desk and you're glad to see them gone, and you catch Chan smirking to himself as he shuts their empty office door.
Minho who glowers at a fan who's being just a little too flirty; he's sitting next to you for the fanmeeting, and there's a fluffy headband sitting on the crown of his head. It doesn't stop him from responding effortlessly to him own fan, but his hands tighten around the gifts in front of him as the creepy fan in front of you begins to inch a little closer over the table, reaching for your hands. As the fan doesn't notice his attempts to intimidate, he knocks over a bottle of water, spilling a long, thin stream of it over your side of the table, effectively creating a water line between you and the fan, and making said fan jump back in shock, complaining over soaked sleeves. Minho just winks at you and pokes your knee, muttering a rather vile phrase and making you giggle as the fan storms out.
Changbin who watches you trip over on stage as you walk up to begin your part of the song; your mic clatters to the floor and the entire audience holds their breath as you scramble to pick it up, cheeks scarlet from embarrassment. Your energy is dimmed for the rest of the performance, and you can practically feel the judging, disapproving stares of everyone in the crowd. That is, until you hear another clatter from in front of you, and realise that Changbin has dropped his mic too, leaning down to pick it up with a cheeky grin as he jumps back into place. Your heart rises, the weight lifted off of it as he shoots you a wink, reassuring and reckless. The murmurs get louder but now you couldn't care less, leaning down to whisper a thankyou to him as the choreo brings you closer to him. Later, his face will be proudly tinged with pink as you all walk off the stage.
Hyunjin who quickly changes the subject during an interview that's getting a little too personal, and leans down to put a hand on your shoulder as the interviewer starts getting a little too close. Interjects with loud laughing and funny skits to keep the attention off you, and his gaze is slightly maniacal as he eyes the interviewer, squeezing your shoulder before pulling away so the cameras don't pick it up. Is so smooth with it that you begin to feel more comfortable throughout the interview and you even become confident enough to question the interviewer himself, who stutters and changes the subject. Hyunjin watches on proudly and definitely reports the guy afterwards for harassment, and even sits through a scolding from a staff member about being polite to the reporters and interviewers. He couldn't care less, if he was being honest, and fights a cheeky, rebellious smile as he's dismissed from the room.
a/n: yay first post with my new taglist~ send me a dm, ask, or comment under the taglist post to be added !
ttokki's taglist: @emilywhyyy @galaxy4489 @hyuneskkami @justsomekpopstuff @wavetohannie @strayingawayy @its-stayville-forever
๐๐๐ฃ๐ ๐๐๐๐ฃ ๐จ๐ฅ๐๐๐๐๐ก ๐๐ซ๐๐ฃ๐ฉ โน ๐๐ค๐ก๐๐๐ฃ ๐๐ค๐ช๐ง
pairing: bang chan x reader
summary: chan's been busy, so you decide to surprise him.
genre: fluff, idol! au, comfort, extreme softness, reader is a sweetheart, chan is also a sweetheart (but what's new), i cried writing this oops
a/n: happy birthday, channie โก (seungmin in the background) "chan you're half 56-"
The evening sun casts a golden glow across the rooftop of the studio, its last rays spilling over the horizon, tinting the sky in hues of pink and orange. The city below was alive with the hum of traffic and distant chatter, but up here, it felt like another world โ quiet, intimate, serene.
Just the two of you.
Chan leans against the railing, a soft breeze ruffling his hair. He turns his head slightly, his eyes meeting yours with a playful smile. โI still canโt believe you managed to pull this off,โ he says, his voice a mix of surprise and affection.
You smile, shrugging your shoulders casually. โWell, youโve been working non-stop for weeks. I figured you deserved a break.โ
It had taken weeks of secret planning, coordinating with the studio staff, and a few sneaky conversations with his members to set up this surprise. Youโd transformed the usually empty rooftop into a small, cozy haven. It had taken a while, with several near-accidents (mainly involving a certain Han Jisung trying to hang up the lights, but you appreciated the help nonetheless).
Fairy lights twinkled above, casting a warm glow over the space. A small picnic setup was laid out with Chanโs favorite snacks, and in the centre was a guitar, propped against a chair.
He steps closer, his eyes scanning the space, clearly touched by the effort. โThis is amazing,โ he whispers, his hand finding yours, fingers intertwining subconsciously.
โI wanted to do something special,โ you admit, looking up at him. โYou give so much of yourself to your music, your fans, and your membersโฆ you deserve a moment just for you.โ
Chan chuckles softly, cheeks dusted pink, his thumb brushing over your knuckles. โYou know, you didnโt have to go this far for me.โ
โOf course I did,โ you reply. โYou work hard every single day. I see it, and I know how much it means to you, but I also know how much you need to breathe sometimes.โ
He was quiet for a moment, his eyes soft as they gazed into yours. โI donโt think I thank you enough for always being there.โ
You squeeze his hand softly, gazing at him. โYou donโt have to thank me. I just want you to be happy.โ
Chan pulls you into a gentle embrace, his chin resting on the top of your head. โYou make me happier than you know,โ he whispers. His voice, though quiet, carries the weight of his sincerity.
After a few moments, he pulls back slightly, his eyes twinkling with a familiar spark of adorable mischief. โAlright, what else do you have planned? I can tell thereโs more.โ
You grin, stepping back and gesturing toward the guitar. โI thought you might want to play something. Youโve been working on so much music, but I havenโt heard you play in ages.โ
Chanโs eyes light up, and he reaches for the guitar, settling onto one of the cushions youโd laid out. He strums the strings lightly, testing the sound before looking up at you with a grin. โAnything you want to hear?โ
You tilt your head thoughtfully. โHow about something new? Something you havenโt shown anyone yet.โ
He chuckles, his fingers already moving over the strings, creating a soft, melodic, lilting tune. โAlright, but this is still a work in progress.โ
The melody that followed was gentle, the kind that made you close your eyes and lose yourself in the moment. His voice, smooth and filled with emotion, carried through the quiet evening, wrapping around you like a warm embrace. As he played, the world seemed to shrink, leaving just the two of you and the music, hung in the air, making the twinkling lights seem brighter with the shining, incandescent melody.
When the song came to an end, you open your eyes to find Chan watching you, a soft smile playing on his lips. โWhat did you think?โ
You sigh, completely in awe. โIt was beautiful. You always manage to create something soโฆ real.โ
He blushes slightly at the compliment, setting the guitar aside and reaching for your hand again. โThank you,โ he murmurs, โfor all of it. This- everythingโฆ itโs so perfect.โ
You lean into him, your head resting on his shoulder as the golden hour fades into twilight. โYouโre welcome,โ you whisper. โBut itโs only perfect because youโre here.โ
The two of you sit in comfortable silence, watching the stars begin to twinkle in the sky. Your hand, the one that isn't holding Chan's moves to your pocket, slipping inside to brush against something. You glance at Chan to see if he's noticed, but he's too busy looking at the twinkling fairy lights, the golden shine reflected in his dark eyes.
He looks so beautiful.
Your voice comes out a hushed, almost reverent whisper.
"Chan?"
He hums, dragging his gaze away from the lights and onto your face. His eyes seem to shine even brighter, and he smiles, making an all-too familiar warmth settle in the pit of your stomach. You inhale.
"Do you remember when we first came up here?"
He nods, recalling the memory. You know it's one of his favourites.
"I was getting stressed from all the schedules we had planned. I was supposed to fly out to Shanghai for the fanmeeting and concert the next day... I got so close to honestly just crying, and you came up onto the roof after Felix snitched to you about where I was."
You smile ruefully, remembering it all too well. Chan continues.
"I remember you told me that it would all be okay, and you gave me this," he shows you his hand, a silver ring with a movable chain running through the middle. "You said that you noticed I was fidgeting a lot recently because of the stress, so you got me this to help me stop messing with my hands."
He spins the little chain twice with a smile before continuing.
"I remember flying out the next day, sitting on the plane, watching the ground fall away, taking me away. From home, from you. But you told me before I left that the ring was a little part of you, that I could take with me while we weren't physically together," Chan's eyes are suspiciously bright. He takes a shaky breath, smiling.
"I never took it off, even when I slept. The stylists kept getting frustrated with me because I refused to take it off, even when it didn't match what I was wearing. But I kept it on, during the fanmeeting, the concert, the activities with the Kids, everywhere, all the time. Minho used to say to me during the trip, "Hyung, did she glue the ring to your finger?"."
Chan laughs then, and so do you. He had pretty much kept it on all the time.
"Even when I returned, I kept wearing it. It stopped being a part of you and became a part of us. I felt wrong without it, and during the recent events where the stylists insisted I take it off, I wore it on a chain."
You giggle, leaning into him. "I remember you ran to hug me after the concert and the chain hit my cheek. I wondered what you were doing, wearing it all the time."
Chan huffs a small laugh, exhaling. "It's a part of me now. Forever."
Your smile fades, replaced with a soft, affectionate look.
"Channie, I did all this tonight because I wanted you to have a break. But I also did this because I need you to know how much I love you. You mean so much to me, and you're always spoiling me and doing things for me, so I wanted to give back. I know that love isn't grand gestures or fairy lights or guitar music, but you deserve this. So much.
And I'm glad you played the song for me. It was so beautiful, it felt like I was floating up into the air, I felt so free and at peace. I know you always say that music is the way to capture emotions, but no song could ever capture how I feel for you, or how much I love you. Music helps us to express our emotions and fond memories, but no melody, harmony, or tune could ever express how much you mean to me. And it's frustrating because I want you to know, I want you to be able to feel it-"
"I do feel it," Chan interrupts, grabbing your hand and gazing into your eyes with a soft smile. "During the hectic last-minute dance practices with Hyunjin, where you cheer me on, or during late night conversations, our chaotic dates, or all-nighter studio producing sessions. I feel your love wherever I go, because it's always with me. It chases me like a light and spills into everything that I do."
You smile, squeezing his hand again, and continuing a little quieter. "I've been by your side through everything, Chan. The moments of joy, the quiet sadness, the doubt, the excitement. I've seen it all. I've been right next to you through it all, and you always tell me that I'm your biggest supporter, your best friend, and more than you ever thought you deserved. But you do deserve it, Chan. All of it. I always try to make moments like this perfect for you, but the truth is, any moment with you already is. Whether weโre laughing, or even just sitting in silenceโฆ I realised that I've been searching for something, and all along, it was right in front of me.
When you're working away at producing with me on your lap, when we're running through the streets at night holding hands, taking photos of each other at ridiculous angles, and fighting over the last chip, it's perfect. Even during the rare moments when we disagree, or get frustrated with each other, that's perfect too. Because no matter what either of us feels, or what we're going through or facing, I know I can turn around, and you'll always be there. And you know I'd do the same for you, in a heartbeat. Always.
Channie, I know you always say that I'm a part of you, and so is that ring you never take off, and the chain too. I know my happiness and sadness and doubt and fear and love and affection is exactly what you feel, too. The members always joke and poke fun about how we're glued to the hip and can't go a day without each other, but for once, they couldn't be more right."
You let out a shaky exhale, eyes meeting Chan's.
"I know you love that silver ring, Channie, but I want to replace it."
You smile softly and reach up to wipe away a glittering tear from your cheek. With a startled realisation that Chan is also crying, you smile softly before reaching across to do the same for him, your voice soft.
"Bang Christopher Chan, will you marry me?"
a/n: happy chan week, everyone. i hope someone does this one day for him, he deserves it all โก
lonely st. โง chapter v : behind closed doors
pairing: hwang hyunjin x reader (y/n)
warnings: han jisung in the building, the usual stuff, hyunjin is confused poor baby :( yeji is a dick
a/n: chapter fiveeeee
series masterlist | skz masterlist
Y/n watched as a butterfly fluttered past her, wings flapping haphazardly. Sighing and leaning against the rough, sanded brick of the school wall, she took a breath and began to walk home.
She'd been stalling for no particular reason; it was just that going home felt mundane and unexciting without the walk with Hyunjin. He'd told her in their last class that he was staying back for basketball practice that afternoon and she'd nodded, watching as he'd apologized for not being able to walk home with her.
Then he'd run off.
The sky seemed a little dimmer than usual, and Y/n clutched the strap of her bag as she made her way down the street, trying to become an inconspicuous presence amongst the throngs of students milling past her. She inhaled deeply as she put one foot in front of the other, the smell of the fresh, post-storm air soothing her lungs and cleansing her insides.
Y/n let her arms relax, her sketchbook slipping out from under the crook of her elbow and dropping to the pavement. Reaching to pick it up, her hand collided with someone else's, large and veiny unlike her own.
"Sorry, Y/n."
Y/n shook her head and took the sketchbook without looking at who it was, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. She suddenly tilted her head in confusion, quickly checking the book for any damage.
"Wait- how do you know my name?"
"I'm in some of your classes. I don't think we've talked before, but I'm one of Hyunjin's friends. I play basketball with him too."
Y/n looked up hesitantly. The boy had a friendly, wide grin, the first few buttons of his shirt undone, and his sleeves rolled up to his elbows, much like the way Hyunjin wore his school shirt. His slightly fluffy hair was parted messily down the middle. He wasn't wearing a blazer or sweater vest, and Y/n noticed a pair of colourful sneakers on his feet, thick and chunky. Basketballer shoes.
The boy extended a hand. "I'm Han Jisung. Nice to meet ya."
"So, how's it going with Hyunjin?" Han asked casually, almost skipping alongside the path next to Y/n.
She glared at him warily, wondering if he was fishing for details, or trying to find out if she liked Hyunjin. But Han's face was open, not expectant or eager. Not a hint of malice showed in his features, just a casual, easygoing demeanour that Y/n sort of liked. He was quite the talker, so it suited her perfectly to walk in silence while Han talked about this and that.
"It's good," she said quietly.
Han nodded, jumping up to tug a random leaf off an overhanging branch. He'd offered to walk her home, and Y/n figured that if he was one of Hyunjin's friends, he was probably trustable. But she kept an eye on him nonetheless, not wishing to risk anything.
The walk had been nice, though, with Han keeping up a constant stream of cheerful chatter along the way. He's a bit like the sun, Y/n thought to herself.
She watched silently as Han leapt up to slap a sign with impressive height, a metallic thunk ringing out as he slammed a palm against it. He landed easily on his feet and turned back to Y/n, grinning.
"You try," he said.
Y/n shook her head and Han whined.
"Come onnnn, just one go. I reckon you can reach it."
Y/n sighed as Han excitedly took her bag, holding it for her. Mustering up the nonexistent strength, she ran a few steps, swinging her arms up for momentum, and jumped. Her palm hit the middle of the sign with a satisfying bang, the same thunking noise ringing out into the street.
Landing, she stumbled a little, before glancing up at Han, breathless. He cheered, clapping wildly, and handed her bag back to her. Y/n smiled without even realising. That was the fastest she'd moved in a long time. It felt good.
They reached the willow tree five minutes later, Y/n's smile fading unexpectedly. She'd actually really enjoyed walking with Han, and the rest of the walk home without his constant chattering and antics made Y/n's heart sink more than she would have liked to admit.
Han glanced up and let a hand trail through the low-hanging fronds of the willow. Thoughtfully tugging off a couple leaves, he let them flutter to the pavement before looking across at Y/n, who was seemingly lost in thought.
He turned and dug through his bag, hand reaching past the mess of pencils, uncapped pens, crumpled worksheets, and- oh, that's where his wrist brace went- to pull out a scrap of paper and a pen.
Scribbling down his number, he glanced across at Y/n, who was still staring into the distance, and recapped the pen. Shyly, he poked her arm and held out the piece of paper.
She took it hesitantly and glanced at the messy writing. Her eyes widened a tiny bit.
Han shook his hands frantically at her surprised expression, afraid he'd gone too far. "U-um, I just thought it'd be good for you to have my number- you know, since we're both friends with Hyunjin and all, it might be good to stay in contact.. if you want to, of course-"
Y/n nodded, butterflies taking flight in her stomach. "Thanks."
"That's okay. Maybe we can text tonight? Again, if you want to..."
Y/n smiled a tiny bit, the expression feeling strange and unfamiliar. She'd only known Han for 20 minutes, but he already felt like a friend. Maybe they already were friends.
Was it possible to be friends with someone even if you hadn't known them for a long time? Or was that just something people said all the time, but wasn't actually true?
She bid Han a quiet goodbye and he turned and walked back down the street, pausing only to give her a grin over his shoulder. He gestured a texting action with his hands and mouthed 'tonight' before turning the corner and disappearing.
Y/n glanced down at the piece of paper between her fingers. He'd scribbled his number haphazardly across the paper. Next to the last digit was a little smiley face and a messy rendition of a basketball.
The strange, warm, fuzzy sensation came back, settling in Y/n's stomach like a warm, chocolatey drink on a cold winter's day.
For the first time, Y/n welcomed the feeling.
Y/n sighed in relief, shutting her textbook. Her teachers were really dishing out the homework this week for some reason. She'd told herself to finish it before texting Han, and her fingers had been itching to touch her phone throughout. She'd ended up shutting it into her bedside drawer so she wouldn't get distracted.
Looking out her window thoughtfully, she put the textbook neatly to the side and moved to her bed, pulling out her phone from the drawer. She bit her lip
What if it was all just a joke? What if Han had just given her his number so he could clown her for thinking that he really was her friend?
Shaking her head, Y/n entered Han's number and hit the texting application. Thumbing out a short message, she hit sent before she could second-guess herself.
*texting unknown number* y/n: han? unknown number: y/n, hey!
Y/n blinked, wondering if she was seeing things. She wasn't. That was fast.
unknown number: i was worried i'd written my number down wrong. i'm not good at remembering stuff, so i'm glad i got it right ๐ y/n: yeah y/n: thank you for walking with me today unknown number: of course unknown number: it was fun, actually unknown number: and a nice change from having to listen to felix scold me about eating things i shouldn't y/n: ... unknown number: don't question it unknown number: by the way, you can call me jisung. we're friends now, so you don't have to be formal ๐ *y/n changed 'unknown number' to 'jisung'* y/n ๐จ: there, i changed it jisung: cool jisung: i already changed yours to 'y/n ๐จ' y/n ๐จ: why the paint palette emoji? jisung: hyunjin told me and felix that you sketch. he said you're really good. jisung: you being an artist is really cool. i can't draw to save my life
A warm feeling spread across Y/n's cheeks, the same way it had when she'd shown Hyunjin a snippet of one of her sketches during their daily lunchtime library sessions. She wondered when Hyunjin had told his friend about her passion for sketching.
Y/n thought that Jisung was honestly really sweet for not being afraid to compliment her on it.
y/n ๐จ: thanks y/n ๐จ: you said you played basketball? jisung: yup jisung: we have a championship tournament coming up soon too y/n ๐จ: that's cool y/n ๐จ: are there positions in basketball? like offense or defence jisung: yeah, i play power forward jisung: hyunjin plays center since he's pretty much the designated captain, plus he's really good y/n ๐จ: i haven't seen him play, but i can believe that jisung: yea, he's amazing. wish i could be as good as he is y/n ๐จ: i bet you're a great player too jisung: you know, you're actually really nice y/n ๐จ: thanks...? jisung: nonono not like that jisung: i just meant that i didn't expect you to be so sweet, you usually sort of come across as... y/n ๐จ: cold? jisung: ...yeah. but it's not a bad thing. jisung: it just means that when you do show emotion, you mean it with your whole heart
Y/n rolled over onto her back and looked up thoughtfully at the ceiling. She'd never thought of it that way. It made sense.
A thought occurred to her suddenly.
y/n ๐จ: hyunjin usually walks home with me jisung: yeah, he told me about that. when you gave him the bandaids too. jisung: what about it? y/n ๐จ: he said he had basketball practice. you're on the team too, so how come you didn't know jisung: i thought you were y/n, not some sort of super detective, jeez! y/n ๐จ: haha, it just occurred to me jisung: hyunjin sometimes stays back by himself so he can practice. though i do think he overdoes it sometimes y/n ๐จ: he seems like he loves playing basketball a lot jisung: sometimes i think if i asked him to choose between me and his beloved basketball, he would choose basketball ๐ฅฒ
Y/n let out a quiet laugh as she read Jisung's message. No wonder him and Hyunjin were friends. They had the same easygoing demeanour, the same effortless style of humour.
y/n ๐จ: i doubt hyunjin would choose basketball over you, if that makes you feel any better jisung: i wish ๐ he spends a lot of time practicing by himself after school most days jisung: speaking of, did you want his number?
Y/n put her phone down and bit her lip. Would it be weird if she said yes? She didn't want to come across as clingy or overly attached. She typed out a reply.
y/n ๐จ: no, it's okay. jisung: you just gonna wait til he gives it to you himself?
Y/n must have paused for a bit too long after reading his message, because Jisung followed up.
jisung: don't sweat it if that's what you were planning to do jisung: he could do with the push
She huffed out a laugh on an exhale and typed back.
y/n ๐จ: maybe don't push him too far, he might fall over y/n ๐จ: i think he's injured enough... jisung: at least he has you and your bandaid supply to keep him going lol y/n ๐จ: yup jisung: super sorry dude but i have to go finish my overdue math homework tonight or my teacher might actually throw me out the window y/n ๐จ: who's your math teacher? jisung: mr yang y/n ๐จ: we have the same math teacher. i never realised jisung: oh we do, that's dope jisung: we should sit together next class y/n ๐จ: sure, if you want y/n ๐จ: just curious, but how long is your math homework overdue by? jisung: ... jisung: three and a half weeks y/n ๐จ: that's actually crazy y/n ๐จ: no wonder mr yang is so stressed all the time jisung: shut up jisung: anyway, we have math tomorrow, so i'll see you then y/n ๐จ: okay. see you later, jisung jisung: byeee ๐
Hyunjin slumped down onto the bench, sweaty hair mussing against the wall. His shoes squeaked against the court's polished wooden floor as he stretched out his legs in front of him.
How long had he been practicing for? An hour? Two? A whole day?
The bell that went at the end of the school day felt like it had gone a long time ago. All Hyunjin wanted to do was head home, take his sweaty basketball gear off, shower, and eat something good. Then he would collapse into bed and feel the soft, soft pillow against his cheek...
His phone buzzed. Sighing, Hyunjin reached into his bag and pulled it out. He flicked open the notification bar and saw that he had a new message from Yeji. Groaning, he swiped the chat open.
yeji ๐ญ: you coming over tonight?
Hyunjin pursed his lips and blew a strand of sweat-slicked hair out of his eyes.
hyunjin: huh? yeji ๐ญ: for tutoring, silly hyunjin: oh
If he was being honest with himself, he didn't feel like going. He felt exhausted. But Yeji would never let him hear the end of it if he backed out. And it had been a while since they'd talked. He was sort of missing her.
hyunjin: sure hyunjin: give me half an hour yeji ๐ญ: see you then, jinnie
Hyunjin slurped up a mouthful of ramen, gulping down the noodles and broth. He groaned. Food always tasted better after practice. It tasted even better after he was all cozy and cleaned up.
Yeji had opened the door as soon as he'd knocked. Her parents were often out at night time, since they both worked late office jobs, and she was only too happy to have the house to herself and Hyunjin.
He'd taken a shower at hers and changed into his spare set from his duffel bag before heading into her room. It felt so good to wash off all the sweat and grime he so often collected during intense training sessions. He'd stood under the hot water for a long time, letting it soothe his muscles and relieve the aching.
Walking into her room, Hyunjin noticed she'd set the lighting low and easy on the eyes, gold and pink hues shining out from the lampshade to cast patterns around the room.
Currently, he was sitting on her bed, slurping ramen from an instant noodle cup. Yeji was sitting on her desk chair, deep orange locks tied back messily in a bun, doing the same thing.
Countless times they'd done this. Their parents were close friends and the result of that growing up was a lot of time spent at the other's place. Now, the routine felt comforting and familiar.
It was a little awkward at times, considering they were both older now, but Hyunjin was grateful for her company. What with all the stress and hustle from schoolwork and basketball practice, it felt good to slow down and just relax.
Yeji glanced across at him as he set the empty ramen cup down on her bedside. She chuckled as he flopped back onto her bedspread, almost hitting his head on the wall.
"Careful."
Hyunjin only groaned in response, too exhausted to do anything else.
"Do we have to study?" He managed to get out.
Yeji laughed and set her own cup down, moving to flop down into a beanbag on the floor. The sky outside was dimming in shades of orange and lilac.
"Not if you don't want to. But what happened to wanting to pass the semester, Jinnie?"
Hyunjin sighed and propped himself up on his elbows, gazing at her blearily. "I can do that when I'm not completely exhausted."
Yeji got up and turned the lamp up a little higher before moving to sit next to him. She poked his leg.
"Come on, don't fall asleep."
Hyunjin simply rolled over, turning his back to her. Sure, Yeji could be fake and irritating and more than a bit of a drama queen if she felt like it, but she was Hyunjin's childhood friend. A close confidant, and good company too. Sometimes he wasn't sure what to think of her, but sometimes he liked her a lot too.
He found his heart thudding as she leaned over to poke his cheek. Her airy perfume filled the space between them with a soft, vanilla scent.
She smells so good...
"Jinnie," she said softly. "If you fall asleep here, where am I supposed to sleep? On the floor?"
"In my arms," he murmured, feeling hazy and pleasantly drowsy.
She leaned closer, having not heard what he'd said. "What?"
"Nothing..."
Yeji sighed, lying down behind him and putting her hands behind her head. She stared up at the ceiling, letting her legs dangle off the bed.
"How's basketball?"
"Busy," he whispered in response. "How's dance?"
"Busy."
Hyunjin rolled over, propping his head under his elbow. "Your competition is soon, isn't it?"
Yeji nodded, not taking her eyes off the ceiling. She'd taken her hair out, but there was a little star barrette she'd left in on the right side of her head, near her ear. She must have forgotten about it. Hyunjin could tell she was tired like he was; there were slight bags under her eyes now that she'd removed the concealer from them, and her eyes were drooping shut.
He took a deep breath and reached out to gently unclip the barrette from the locks, his heart pounding so loud it hurt. She didn't move. Hyunjin's eyes flicked to her face and he realised they were shut.
She's asleep, he thought in relief.
Glancing outside, he checked the time on his phone; it was getting late, and he'd be expected to get home soon. He set the star hairclip next to her before reaching out with a shaky hand and tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, light as a feather.
He could stay a little longer.
Through his exhaustion, Hyunjin could feel guilt suddenly nagging at his consciousness. How could he be lying her next to her, crushing on her and touching her hair, knowing what she'd said about Y/n? That she was an outcast, that she was only friends with Y/n out of pity...
It's not like Y/n knows about it, Hyunjin desperately reasoned with himself, fighting against his moral compass.
The little sensible voice in Hyunjin's head spoke up. You know it's not right, Hyunjin. Even if you're close friends with Yeji, it's not worth it to throw Y/n under the bus... right?
Hyunjin grit his teeth. Was he willing to lose Yeji in order to become closer with Y/n? Or would he just mess everything up with Yeji? She was his childhood friend. He'd only known Y/n for just under a month's worth of time.
Hyunjin tugged at his damp hair in agitation.
Do the right thing.
Picking up his duffel, he quietly checked he'd gotten every one of his belongings before heading out the door. His desires fought him every step out of her room. He glanced at her sleeping figure before taking a deep breath and continuing away.
He headed quietly down the stairs, and across the living room, before opening the front door. Confusion, agitation, frustration, and indecision tugged at his heartstrings and settled uncomfortably in the pit of his stomach, like he'd eaten something that had gone bad.
A tear ran down his cheek as he started off down the street.
Hyunjin lifted his head from the pillow as his phone let out a ding, signalling a new notification. Groaning and wiping his eyes with the backs of his hands, he reached across and glared at the bright screen.
yeji ๐ญ: hey, where'd you go? yeji ๐ญ: i woke up and you were gone
Hyunjin sighed and flopped onto his back. He'd fallen asleep as soon as he'd gotten home, but not before having a little cry. He'd never tell any of the boys, but he liked the feeling of crying, the feeling of the weight lifting off his shoulders. He typed out a reply.
hyunjin: sorry, i had to go, i was expected home yeji ๐ญ: could've left me a note, jinnie yeji ๐ญ: i thought you would have stayed the night yeji ๐ญ: it would have been nice, just the two of us hyunjin: what do you mean? hyunjin: i mean i've stayed the night before, but it seems like you're saying something different this time... yeji ๐ญ: i mean yeji ๐ญ: you know yeji ๐ญ: it is different hyunjin: how so? yeji ๐ญ: you know why it's different, jinnie.
Hyunjin's hands fumbled and he dropped his phone on his forehead at her reply. He winced and rubbed the red spot on his forehead.
She knows. She knows. She knows.
He shoved his phone under his pillow and buried his face in it, trying to erase the whole evening from his mind. Regret washed over him. He should have just denied her 'tutoring' invite and gone home. He could have saved himself all the time and trouble.
And all of the tears.
taglist (open) : @kozumesphone @bangchansgirlsblog @ms-flowergirl @stayriversflow
โจ send a request or DM to be added / removed !
oh my god Iโm stupid I requested 8, 9, and 39 for the SKZ prompt list but I forgot to ask for which member. Bangchan pretty please ๐ฅบ๐๐
hihi this took so long sorry >< . . . this is a lot more angsty than anticipated but i hope it works. i wrote it a little differently that i normally would, but here you go, love~~
stupidly perfect - (best friend!bang chan x reader)
pairing: best friend!bang chan x reader
summary: chan has never noticed how you feel for him, and one fateful evening, you let it all spill.
genre: angsty as hell, idol!au, reader lowkey enters their villain era, mentions of eating and drinking, overexcited maknaes, chan is kinda oblivious in this fic ngl, supportive felix, itzy mentions (yeji, ryujin, chaeryoung if that counts ig), this is super sad tbh
a/n: this took a while tbh . . . div by @ferretmilkshakezzz
โ๏ธ prompts: 8. "Take your time. I'm not going anywhere." / 9. "You can rest now." / 39. "I can't keep pretending I'm fine."
skz masterlist | skz prompt list | part two
"Y/n, do you wanna come to that ramen restaurant with us later?" Jisung tugs at your arm, skipping alongside you. "We've been wanting to go for ages, and we all finally have schedules off tonight."
"Yeah, come with us," Jeongin adds. "It'll be fun."
The maknaes are tagging all around you as you walk down the hallway, trying your best to keep a hold on all the papers you're carrying. It's difficult when they're fluttering around you like overexcited birds.
You'd taken the job at JYPE around four months ago; it was decided after a very long period of doubting and worrying that it wouldn't work out after what happened at your last workplace. But your best friend, Chan, had been super supportive throughout the whole thing, even offering to help you move into your little apartment down the road from the company. He'd brought some of his friends to help with the heavy lifting, and from there, you'd pretty much been adopted into the group he'd formed and was the leader of.
Not like you had a choice in the first place.
But you didn't mind; you'd been worried partly because of the fact that you wouldn't have any friends when you'd moved to this part of Korea; Chan had managed to inadvertently solve that issue without trying. Now, the four excitable boys skipped and bickered around you as you set down the papers on your office desk. Wiping the minimal sweat from your forehead, you sighed and pried Seungmin away from the trinkets neatly lining your bookshelf.
"Who else is going?" You ask as Jisung whines about you coming to the restaurant for the umpteenth time.
Seungmin shrugs, interrupting his friend. "All of the members, you, and a couple of the girls from our dance crew."
You feel your heart sink just as your brain tells you to agree; it's been ages since you went out with the guys, and you honestly couldn't wait for a break. Work was always stressful around comeback season, but you'd all settled into the rhythm of it soon enough. Spending an evening out with eight of your best friends eating some soul food sounded like a good idea. A better idea than spending the evening on the couch in your apartment, eating ice cream in complete silence. Alone.
You bite your lip, anticipating. "Which of the dance crew girls?"
Jeongin shrugs from the sofa, swinging his legs over a disgusted Seungmin's lap as he lounges back. "The usuals; Yeji, Ryujin, Young-hee, and Chae. Why?"
"No reason," you say, turning back to the bookshelf to unnecessarily reorganise something, fiddling with the solid fabric spine of one of your books. "I'll let you know if I'm coming. Now, clear out."
Your last comment doesn't bother the maknaes at all; they know you don't like your office being messed up, so they call goodbyes, and Jisung sneakily pokes your side as he filters out the door. Felix, however, remains.
You try to ignore the sinking feeling in your chest and keep a neutral expression as you turn the dark-haired boy. He looks so different from his usual blonde-haired countenance; however, no less beautiful, and not for the first time do you hold yourself back from carding your fingers affectionately through his hair.
You exhale. "Do you need something, Lix?"
He sits down on your chair, swinging it backwards and leaning his forearms across the back. An air of resignation flows around him. "You're not coming tonight, are you?"
You bite your lip. "I'll see."
His voice is quiet. "You've said that since Chae started hanging around us. Is it because of her?"
You scoff, dropping a pen. "No. Why would you think that?"
Felix leans forward on the chair, nosy. "It is because of her, isn't it? Do you not like her? Is it because of Chan-hyung?"
You whip around to face him, exasperated. The explanation bubbles out of you like molten lava from a temperamental volcano. "Okay, fine! I just- I can't stand seeing her around him. They're so close, and they always seem so wrapped up in each other-"
You cut yourself off then, not wanting to say anything you might regret. Chae is nice enough; she's never done anything explicitly hurtful towards you, though you secretly have suspicions that she doesn't like you at all. But you stay quiet, trying to dissipate the rising frustration blooming in your chest.
Felix is quiet.
You know he knows; he's known for ages about your little crush on his leader. You were afraid to tell him, once upon a time; but all you got in response from the affectionate chicken boy was a hushed giggle and a gentle encouragement to tell Chan how you feel. He hasn't told anyone else about your feelings, and you know he would continue to keep his mouth shut. But you wish, even just a little, that someone else would notice and find a way to get Chae away from your best friend.
"No wonder she likes him too," you say quietly to yourself, sinking into your office chair.
And it isn't a wonder, really. Chan is sweet, and gentle, and kind, and so, so, supportive and admirable. There's not a single flaw about him, except perhaps his slight dislike towards himself and his irritation when it comes to those soft, dark curls that frame his perfect face so perfectly-
You shake yourself out of it. Felix is still looking at you quietly, his head tilted in thought.
"You do know," he says carefully, "that you're closer with Chan that Chae is?"
"But still," you groan. "He always seems so much happier around her, and he always only talks to her when you all go out-"
"How would you know?" Felix cries, throwing his hands up. "You're not even there half the time, and Chan only talks to her because you're not there for him to talk to. He has to settle for her because he's fed up of us, and he's not close with Yeji, Ryujin, or Young-hee."
You sigh and hop up onto the desk, swinging your legs over the side. "I just can't stand it, Lix. Seeing them together..."
His expression softens. "I know, Y/n, and I know how frustrated you get when they're all over each other, but you have to at least try. Come with us. If not for him, then for us. We miss you."
"I'm right here."
Felix sighs softly. "That's not what I meant."
You rub two fingers along the bridge of your nose, trying to think straight. You can't get the images out of your mind; Chan and Chae giggling to each other, her touching his arm, him reciprocating the affection... no one said it would hurt this bad when you watch your best friend fall for someone else.
No one said it would hurt this much when you realise that you're in love with said best friend either.
"I can't keep pretending I'm fine," you say, so softly you're not sure Felix hears it. But he does.
"Then don't pretend," he urges gently. "Get him to fall for you. You're halfway there already, I'm pretty sure. But it's not gonna happen if you're always at a distance from him."
He has a point, you think. But, being as stubborn as you are, there's still that nagging doubt in the back of your mind that Chan will never feel the same way that you do, whether you're with him or not-
"Y/n," Felix says, a little more firmly.
You know exactly what he's thinking; sighing, and then bending down to pick up the pen you dropped earlier, you slot it back into the holder on the desk.
"Fine," you say quietly, trying and failing to hide the tiny smile twitching at the corners of your mouth. "I'll come."
Felix lets out a whoop.
.
You pull your jacket a little closer around yourself as you head round the corner, the evening wind whipping your hair into a state of extreme disarray. Sighing and then spluttering as you pull strands of it out of your mouth and eyes, you duck around people and head to the restaurant, its warm, golden light drawing you in like a moth to a flame.
You're not late, so to speak; you spot the group sitting at a large corner booth with comfy seats, mingling and chattering, and you notice Felix immediately. His face lights up when he sees you, half with relief and half with something else you can't quite decipher. He makes to get up before you're almost tackled to the floor by Jisung and Jeongin, who are pretty much hollering at the top of their lungs.
Minho shushes them insistently as he tugs them off you, bowing before shoving both maknaes back into their seats.
"Y/n," Jeongin says happily. "We didn't think you'd come."
You chuckle awkwardly and settle into the spot next to Felix, trying not to look around for Chan like you always do. "Yeah, I needed a break. Besides, you two would have come for my throat if I turned the invitation down one more time."
"Damn right," Jisung interjects, all three of you dissolving into giggles.
You look around then; not everyone is here. Hyunjin and Yeji are still missing, both Hwangs late as per usual, and you know Changbin will come by a little later, having decided to work out before treating himself for the evening. You make a mental note to stick to your work ethic as well as he does, but it's interrupted by the familiar tone of someone speaking your name.
"You look nice, Y/n," Chan says from next to Felix, who is sitting in between both of you.
Chae is sitting next to Chan, you notice with some sadness and displeasure; her long, pinky-blonde hair is straight and neat, long acrylic nails coming up to brush strands of it off her perfect porcelain cheeks, flushed with the cold. At least, you hope it's the cold and not the effect of Chan's probably flirting before you arrived.
Despite the indignance rising in your stomach, you can't help but notice how Chan looks tonight; his hair is slightly damp from the chilly weather outside, the adorably messy strands of it curling against his temples and nape. His eyes are crescents as he gazes into yours, and you fight the urge to reach over and wipe the faint remainder of strawberry milk off the curve of his plush bottom lip.
You know exactly where he'd bought the little drink carton of it from; there's a vending machine just down the street, one that the boys always buy drinks from before eating out. It was their tradition, and one that you gladly partook in, that is before you became too shy to be around the boys.
Because of Chan and his stupid perfectness.
You suddenly come back down to earth and realise that Chan is still gazing at you; Chae is laughing obnoxiously loud in the background behind him, no doubt to recapture his attention, but all you can focus on is the fact that you're locking eyes with the most beautiful person on earth. And also the fact that you haven't replied to his little indirect compliment, so you just nod and turn back to the table to fiddle with the menu in front of you.
Felix exhales discreetly and you fight a grin, watching as he unpeels himself from the corner of the table. He'd been bending over it so you could lean back to talk to Chan, and he pokes you affectionately in the side as you thank him quietly, clearing your throat in an attempt to get rid of the flush painting your cheeks.
"Could've warned me about how pretty he looks," you mutter to Felix under your breath. He just chuckles and touches your knee as everyone begins to order.
The food arrives just as Hyunjin, Yeji, and Changbin make their dramatically late entrance; they clatter noisily into their seats, and you bump fists with Yeji just as everyone begins to dig in.
There's brief silence as everyone begins to fill their stomachs with soul food, and then the chatter eventually rises again as the members turn to each other to bicker and laugh. You almost snort a noodle out of your mouth as you watch Hyunjin take a hairclip out of his bag to clip his hair back, before realising it's not there. Seungmin, sitting next to him, runs his hand through the boy's kiwi-like hair before turning back to his ramen.
You almost start to enjoy yourself, but there's still that lingering tension that you feel rests in the air between you and Chan; if anyone else has noticed it, they're not saying anything. Felix, noticing your quietness, tries to fill the space between you with small talk and jokes, but it doesn't seem to help. Once or twice, he even brings Chan into the conversation in a bid to try and get you two to converse, but Chae interjects more and more frequently until you quietly tell Felix to stop.
You feel bad because of it; you know he's just trying to help, but it isn't working. And it's beginning to make you feel worse, the fact that it seems not even the dark-haired sunshine boy can get his leader to try and talk to you. And you realise, all of a sudden, that maybe it's not Chan that's the problem.
There are two possible reasons that Chan doesn't seem to want to talk to you; you thought maybe he would talk more with you tonight, considering it's been so long since you've been out with them, but you're crestfallen as you realise that not more than a few words have been exchanged between the two of you tonight.
And it strangely breaks your heart.
The other reason is that Chae might have been badmouthing you behind your back to Chan, or it could be because of the fact that Chan genuinely likes her. You're not sure, but that belief is confirmed as you look across to see Chan holding out his chopsticks to her, bringing a piece of tempura to her perfect, pink lips.
Watching in horror and completely forgetting about the cooling ramen in front of you, you watch as Chae accepts the tempura with a little giggle, batting her lashes at Chan as he reaches up to wipe a crumb off her lip. The sight is so equally disgusting and upsetting that you immediately stand up, moving out of the booth as tears blur your eyes.
"Where are you going?" Jisung calls after you, Felix looking up from his food.
"Bathroom," you call over your shoulder, your voice surprisingly strong considering the fact that tears and beginning to stream down your cheeks.
Not wanting to make a fuss or arouse suspicion from the group, you do actually head to the bathrooms, locking the cubicle door behind you and sinking down against the door. You couldn't care less if it's dirty right now, the only thought in your head the mental image of your best friend and Chae giggling and flirting all over each other, blissfully unaware of your misery.
It's not fair.
"Maybe it's me," you whisper to yourself, sniffling as you rip off a piece of toilet paper, scrubbing at your face. You feel so pathetic and unworthy; what kind of person hides out in the bathroom crying over a guy who probably doesn't even care about them?
Standing up and checking you have your phone and wallet, you sigh as you feel the weight of them in your pockets. Good. You can just leave without having to go back to the table. The last thing you want right now is to talk to anyone, or have to put up a fake cheerful front.
Heading to the back of the restaurant, the once-inviting golden lights now feeling like a spotlight, you emerge out into the street, the cold wind soothing the hot, sticky tear irritation on your cheeks. You head to the parking garage down the street and try to walk as quickly as you can past the opening of the ramen restaurant, lest any of the group notice you walking away.
And they don't, not least until you cross the street and head down the dimly light footpath.
Someone grabs your wrist suddenly and you cry out, whipping your head back so fast to see who it is you think you might have whiplash.
Chan is standing there, his hand solid and warm around your wrist, the wind ruffling his dark hair back from his bare face. You can see the glint of his silver earrings under the streetlights.
"Wait," he pants. "Where are you going?"
You can't fight the hot, wet tear rolling down your cheek and inwardly curse it for escaping. "Home."
"Why?" He asks, concern and worry painting his expression. "Are you not feeling well?"
You fight the urge to slap him; it wouldn't be fair, however much you want to do it. He just doesn't understand. He doesn't understand any of it. And you want nothing more to run into his arms and spill all your thoughts and feelings like you have so many times before, but you can't.
Not this time.
You can't tell Chan that you've loved him since who knows how long; that seeing him makes your heart feel lighter, the way a high schooler might feel seeing their crush in the sunny hallways. You can't tell him how many times you styled your hair to look a little like his, hoping the curls that make him look so handsome might make you a little more attractive too. You can't tell him how many times you ran late for schedules just because you took a detour to his studio to talk with him, even if it was just for a minute.
Even if all of it was a waste in the end. Because he likes someone else, and that someone else isn't you.
So you just shake your head as the tears come streaming down, and rip your wrist out of his grip before turning and walking away. The earth feels like it's shattering around you.
Or maybe that's just your heart.
But Chan doesn't give up; you hear his footsteps continue behind you, hurried and irregular, like he's trying to decide whether to let you go or make you stay.
"Y/n," he pants. "Wait, just- will you stop walking so fast? Please, wait, slow down- What's wrong?"
"Everything's wrong!" You cry out, turning to face him as you throw your hands up. A sob rips through your lungs, face contorting with the force of your tears. "Okay? Everything's wrong."
Chan is silent, one hand out in an unsteady attempt to calm you. "What are you talking about? You're worrying me."
You scoff and kick a stone across the footpath, harshly rubbing a hand across your cheekbone.
"Y/n, please," he pleads, his voice quieter. "Felix noticed you were gone for too long earlier, and I saw you walking out of the restaurant. Please, tell me what's wrong. You look so upset."
"Then stop looking."
He recoils, looking slightly hurt, before it's overtaken by a look of determination. You know that look; it either results in an all-nighter to finish a song track, an attempt to wrangle seven naughty kids, or a hard-to-have conversation. You know it's the last one.
"Please," he says, even quieter. "Tell me what's wrong. Take your time. I'm not going anywhere."
"It's you," you say, broken with utter resignation.
He takes a step forward. "What?"
"It's you," you repeat, looking away as another hysterical sob brings the wind inside your body. It's sharp and biting, and it brings back some of your courage. But only some.
You raise your eyes to look at him. Maybe this is the last conversation you'll have with Chan, before he decides he doesn't want to be around someone who's in a one-way love story with him. Even if that person is his best friend.
"You don't realise, do you?" You whisper brokenly. "You never realised I was in love with you, Chan. But that's just who you are. You may be kind and compassionate and intuitive, but you never realised why I do what I do, or why I act the way I act around you."
His face is contorted in utter disbelief; whether it's from shock or disgust, you don't want to know.
"I realised around the time you helped me move in," you continue. Might as well get all of it out now. "I looked at you differently after a while. I didn't see my best friend anymore. I saw someone else, someone stronger and more clever and more dedicated and more perfect and flawless. And it was strange, because I realised that you changed so much. Maybe I changed too, but it was different seeing you walking around at the company and going about your schedules, because I felt different about it all. I felt different about you. And I couldn't let it go, not least when we actually talked. I used to be late for most of my meetings and events because I would take detours to see you. Some days I would think about canceling my schedules just so I could be around you more.
"And I love the boys, I do, Chan. So much. But I have to admit, I wouldn't be around them half as much if you weren't there. I felt so drawn to you, not like the way I did when we were friends. I figured that if I didn't want to lose you, I would have to discipline myself. So I did.
"I threw myself into my work; I gave myself so much to do, partially to distract myself, partially to use work as an excuse whenever I was invited out, like tonight. Just because I knew you would be there, and I didn't want to end up spilling it all to you, because I knew it would ruin everything between us. Forever.
"And when Chae started hanging around us, I didn't mind at first; I sort of liked her. But I started hating her because of how close she would get to you, how much you two would secretly talk between yourselves, and it made me upset. So I ended up spending much more time by myself so that I would be able to forget she existed. So that I could forget that she ever entered the picture, and that it was just me and my secret that I kept from you. For so long, Chan. You have no idea how much I had to hold myself back from you.
"Did you assume that I never wanted to go out with you guys? That I never wanted to buy drinks from that vending machine the members always go to before eating out, or that I didn't want to spend time with you? Because I did, Chan. But I forced myself not to, because I couldn't bear to see you, and most of the time I didn't know if Chae was going to be there. I told myself I wasn't going to sit there and watch you be with her, not while I felt so invisible and unseen around you.
"Let me tell you something, Chan," you choke through sobs at him, pointing a finger at his chest as though it were a gun. "Every time Jisung or Jeongin or one of the boys invited me out, I did actually show up. Even if you never saw me. I would watch from a distance to see if Chae was with you; if she was, I would turn around and leave, and go home. If not, I would smile from around the corner as the maknaes begged you for money to buy drinks from that vending machine. And then I would turn around and go home anyway.
"I know every single one of their preferences; even if you didn't know I was there to observe them bickering and choosing, faces lit by streetlight. I would go around to the vending machines at the company and randomly buy their favourites for them, even if you didn't know how I knew. I would buy them for you too, and debate leaving a little note for you telling you how I felt alongside it, and I never did.
"Because, despite all of that, it was all a waste," you snap at him. You're not sure why you're angry; you suppose it's the result of feeling unheard for so long. "It was a waste, Chan. Because you never even noticed how I felt. So don't come chasing after me in the night like this like you care, because it was Felix who told you to come after me, Felix who noticed I had been gone for too long, not you of your own accord. And don't look worried or concerned either, because I've told you what's wrong, Chan, just as you asked. You can rest now."
You can barely see him through the blur of your tears.
"Y/n," he whispers, broken as you feel. "I'm so sorry."
"I don't care," you cry out at him, turning and storming in the other direction. And this time, he doesn't follow, still standing under the streetlight with his hand out, though you're not there to take it.
You sob bitterly as you almost flee around the corner, breaking out into a full-on run, like sprinting can fix the problem, fix your heart and your tears. It doesn't, however, and you feel worse as you bolt pass the crossing light, not caring about its colour. Later you will realise that running with blurry vision and a hysterical, heartbroken mindset was not the wisest idea.
You don't see the car speeding towards you until it's too late.
a/n: *laughs in writer*
The angst fic you just did of skz reacting to your death was soooo good ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญdef think you should do a pt 2 if you ever consider it :)
*throws heart-wrenching, sob-worthy angst in your face and runs away cackling* SUFFER ! YOU ASKED FOR IT, YOU GET IT !
don't go, please - skz maknae!line x reader (part 2)
pairing: ot8!skz maknae!line x reader
summary: skz maknae line reactions to when you d*e.
genre: so so heavy on the angst like hyung line's, mentions of pushing people away, heavy grief themes, denial, mentions of manic disorders, deluded illusions of happiness, fading personalities, mentions of graves and headstones, mentions of blood and scissors in felix's, jeongin's almost made me cry (oh, my sweet, sweet innie), han's is also super sad
a/n: yeehee part 2 of the angstiest fic i've ever done. why is it actually kinda fun to write sad stuff . . . ? anyway div by @carnage-cathedral
if this content makes you uncomfortable, please skip it . the last thing i want is to make people upset, so don't read this if it's triggering for you. proceed with caution and be safe, my loves <3
skz masterlist | part one (hyung!line)
Han whose mic clatters to the floor as the news sinks in. Can't believe it for a good week or two. Not until he realises that when he comes home, there will no longer be something simmering on the stove, there will no longer be the love of his life standing at the counter with sauce-smeared fingers and a cheeky grin. Spends hours and hours listening to all the love songs he wrote for you and that you never heard; cries over his keyboard and breaks the electronics with his misery. Refuses to rap, because like Changbin, he just can't get the words out of his mouth anymore. Becomes quiet and reserved; is aware of every single word that comes out of his mouth, every move he makes, he scrutinizes. Cries for you in the dark every night.
Felix who storms to the bathroom and immediately begins cutting off all of his hair. Hacks it relentlessly; tufts of blonde fall around his feet and collect on the tear-soaked cotton of his shirt. Nicks himself with the scissors in the process, but he doesn't care. Leaves spots of blood in the ironic shape of a heart on the dimly lit bathroom floor. Stains one of your photo frames with the scarlet; kisses it off, and then kisses the delicate depiction of your face behind the glass, setting it down on the bedside and burying his head in his hands. Refuses to dance or sing; the light goes out of his eyes and doesn't seem to return, an odd, almost eerie look taking over his once effortless and joyful exuberance.
Seungmin who pretends not to be affected; lives in denial of what happened, and goes about his life wondering if it's true. Refuses to look at news articles and completely shuts down when one of the members gently tries to help him open up; it always ends in an argument and slammed doors. Sits on his bed wondering if you'll ever come back, and if you left, was it because of something he did? Often regrets not being nicer to you, and jokes to himself about little things he sees that you would have hated; like incessantly hot weather where it melts his skin like pale chocolate, or the whirring of his laptop fan, which you always complained about. Lives the rest of his days in a sort of deluded happiness; he doesn't really believe you're gone.
Jeongin who chases after you in the crowd, only to come up short holding the sleeve of someone who looked the same as you from behind. Is bewildered when he wakes up every morning and places a hand next to him on the bed, expecting you to be there; he finds only a cold-empty loneliness, your soft indent in the mattress rustling under his shaking hands. Still wears your matching jewelry, and visits where you lay often, burying the rings and necklaces in the soft dirt so that you might be able to see them again one day. Scratches little pictures into your headstone and sits with you for hours, talking about anything and everything. Doesn't move, even when it's pouring down like the sea is crashing down from the sky, and holds and umbrella over your buried being to shield you from the wetness.
a/n: so this one is a little longer but it just flowed out of me i guess
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โฆ she/her. call me ttokki. 00 liner. bts and skz ults. sfw writer. previously starlost-mochi-x โฆ
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