Gay Men Are Not Discriminated Against Because They're Gay. They're Hated Because Being Attracted To Men

reminder that lesbians are NOT more violent than men and we don't have the highest domestic violence rates. i wish people (mostly men) would stop deliberately misconstruing this

Couldn't reblog because it's a community post but I really wanted to lol

I think that's incredibly interesting, but it's also worth noting that the reason that those people feel that way is because they've been trained to see the world that way.

When friends, social media, charities, celebrities and even governments push the idea that a person's identity is a set of tangible things that can be seen and touched and bought, from hairstyles to clothing, then to flag pins and phone covers and stickers, then to be without that is to be without an identity. Without those gender identities, then they're ostracised from their friends and peers indulging in the same thing. Are they even real people at all?

I think it's less that it's a deliberate bridge to cross a social gap, and more a way for them to cling to something tangible that they can then point to in their own minds and say that is why I feel so different and ironically, that is why I feel so alone. Then, they can connect with others that feel just as alone, which whips the social contagion frenzy even higher.

The world right now is one that pushes the idea that to fix something, you need to buy something else. Actual, helpful introspection, figuring out what their hopes, dreams and even hobbies are to connect with others ends up becoming too daunting.

If you're afraid, why on earth would you go out of your way to risk being ignored or hurt or laughed at by someone in the real world, when you can safely buy things and slap flags and different pronouns onto a social media account? Why risk engaging offline with anyone when the online world has a safe echo chamber that tells you how good and valid and perfect you are, and underlines that everything that feels difficult or hurts you is because of others not understanding you? Is it not comforting to have such a strict set of rules to follow and lines to regurgitate, when, if left alone to think for yourself, you might be wrong and end up upsetting someone else and then ending up even more alone? Does it not feel good to be given permission to lash out and hate everyone and cut out everyone that tells you a harsh truth? Isn't it cathartic to tear apart others, just the way that the bullies at home or at school tore you apart?

It taps in perfectly to the stereotypical teenage angst, and it's addictive, too. There is nothing more addictive in this world than the taste of righteous anger and even more righteous hatred - directed, of course, towards the safe (and encouraged) target of women that see through it and just won't play along.

why do you people like gender so much? it's annoying

Based in Shoreham-by-sea, England master glass worker

Louise V Durham crafts stained glass and driftwood sculptures for the beach and garden

We should always talk more about the emotional manipulation and gaslighting that comes from being women under the patriarchy. Violence and threats only go so far to oppress women. The rest of the trap is the way that patriarchy has managed to trick women into keeping ourselves down, without us ever noticing it.

Take this paragraph:

Like Buffy, do we feminist women turn to mediocre men who can express messiness so that we don’t have to? Does it make us feel stronger, more powerful, or more competent by comparison—but also keep us measuring our worth in relation to others rather than to ourselves? The strong woman/bad boyfriend phenomenon reminds me of how I felt when I first began interacting with transgendered (male-to-female) women at book signings. The women whom Amy Richards and I met during the Manifesta tour often came with a critique that the book had no discussion of transgender rights. I felt terrifically defensive—obsessed with the way the M-to-F pre-op women would dominate the evening, often with just their physical bigness. I hated the way they invaded a woman-only space, seeming to merely endure our reading so they could get to “their” part of the evening. “They wouldn’t—couldn’t—do that if they had been born women,” I seethed. “You don’t see female-to-male pre-operative men heading to the Harvard Club to demand inclusion. Why is it always women who have to make more space and take in everything?” But as I learned more about the history of transgenderism and met more transgendered people—M to F and F to M and points beyond—I revised that interpretation. I wonder now if it offended me that these women could be aggressive and take up space while I still thought I couldn’t. - From Look Both Ways: Bisexual Politics by Jennifer Baumgardner

From a question about mediocre men that immediately brought TIMs to mind, this feminist woman automatically felt righteously repulsed at men forcing their way into a female-only space, who clearly didn't care about female issues, and only endured discussions of women's issues and thoughts so that they could bleat about themselves instead.

Instead of her accepting what she knew, the fact that TIMs act like men because they're men, and TIFs act like women because they're women, she flipped a switch, threw in that she met a range of trans "and points beyond" people, and suddenly, TIMs taking over women's spaces and demanding that everything be about themselves became her own moral failing.

Again, this last line:

I wonder now if it offended me that these women could be aggressive and take up space while I still thought I couldn’t.

Critiques of her understanding of feminism aside, from the above text, she knew what men are like, and she was right to seethe. And yet, patriarchy is so strong that women will tie themselves in knots to be seen as acceptable to others, because of the teaching that men always matter more.

In her case - and in quite a lot of other cases, from women who won't really even think about feminism across whatever spectrums there are, I would wager - there will be this underlying idea that these men that claim womanhood are simply somehow better women than they are, and that is why those men deserve support and love and kindness over everything else.

Because those men are the kind of women that actual women are telling themselves that they should aspire to be. That actual women are failures, and the fakes are somehow the real deal.

Those women can tell themselves that it's about being unapologetic and loud and forceful about their individual needs - but it's another manipulative trap. Women can never become like those brave TIMs. As soon as they try, they're called TERFs, remember?

Look at the number of women who spend so much time defending TIMs, whether they're trans identified or not. Of course they do. They've been taught that the best of women, the most vulnerable of women? Those better "women" are all male.

Why do I say all this in regards to the trans issue? Because we're living in a time where numbers of women have genuinely been gaslit into believing that men can be women, in such a relatively short space of time. That men somehow can become biologically female through saying a few words out loud.

If that doesn't tell you how effective the psychological abuse of women is under the patriarchy, I don't know what else will.

I hate that every time I see "Be kind" now, I see "Be quiet".

It makes so much more sense now why its geared primarily towards women.

We always have to sit with our discomfort. Just shut up and go with it, regardless of how you feel.