It Might Seem Crazy What I'm About To Say.

When I cry I get red blotches on my face. And also fuck other people, you see how I act in front of our classmates, I don't give a fuck. But just in case, when ever you have to do that, do it with me, that way I can look stupider than you and you can look smarter

Chrome. I'm bored. Rant.

i hate the way tears and snot feel. its so wet and gross and when u try 2 wipe it away it gets everywhere and its so weirdddd!!!!!! and the tears make my eyes all swollen the next day and that's embarrassing cuz like what if they see it and their first impression of me is that im depressed??? and i also h8 my social anxiety its so bad ong. its so bad it goes down 2 the way i pick up and hold my stuff. what if i do something stupid looking and then people think im stupid when im not!!!!!! im mentally healthy

CHROME!!! LOOK!!! THIS IS BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!!

hi 👻

Me: BITCH YOU ARE DEAD! Them: NOT YET HOE! SUCK IT!

Your friend always said “I’ll rest when I’m dead,” so much that it became his catchphrase. He says it again today when he came into work, going about his daily routine. This normally wouldn’t be concerning, if not for the fact that you attended his funeral two weeks ago.

Kidnapper: I thought you were the man.... Me: That's because my hair is out of my face. I look more feminie with it down. NOW HIDE ME!!!!!

Reader: Please... Just put a bullet between my eyes now.

Kidnapper: Relax. If your family loves you, they'll pay the ransom

Reader: I'm not worried about you. My wife is a retired assassin and if I'm late to dinner one more time I'll lose my outside privileges for a year.

Kidnapper: You really expect me to believe that? I'm sure your wife's crying her eyes out to police right now.

Reader: Who said I was married to a woman?

[Knock- Knock- Knock]

Femboy Housewife Yan: Helloooo in there~ Has anyone in there seen my darling dearest spouse around? It's casserole night and they promised they wouldn't be late this evening. If it's your fault they're not at the dinner table right now [giggles] Well.... It's probably best if you open the door now than later...

Reader, squirming in their chains: Hide me!

Me: HERO! GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE AND FIGHT ME!!!! NO TRUE HERO HAS A DOG AND DOESN'T CARE ABOUT IT!!!! The public that supports the hero: *gasp*

You are a super villain and for your latest diabolical scheme, you’ve kidnapped the hero’s dog to lure them into a trap. Except it turns out the “hero” doesn’t care about the dog. You take offense to this.

And incase you don't believe this, Tchaikocsky got married to a lady, but he abandoned her weeks after the wedding. Dick move but also a gay one. Still a dick move my dude.

do u ever get emotional about the fact that tchaikovsky, a gay man, wrote his Romeo and Juliet overture for his brother and his brother’s gay lover bc I sure as hell do

Me:"It's just a prank? Well so is this bitch"

Ain’t it funny? We find a way to finally, actually hurt eldritch monstrosities, and suddenly they’re all like “It was just a test” “It’s just a prank bro” “We were just testing you”. How convenient.

Wait- her neighbor was so unable to mind his own yard, he went to her yard with a leaf blower and blew them away??????

Okay the second one sounds like the golden child is sick of their sibling not getting the attention they deserve. Like. You have any idea how good of a story that could be?

WRITING PROMPTS - Shadow

Children who can control shadows tend to find peace in the darkness.

"I'm sick of her living in my shadow!"

A beast made of shadows wants to be loved, but, instead, everybody fears him.

"I watched you every night."

Monsters hide in shadows, ready to replace children who choose not to use night-lights as shields.

"I'm not afraid of you, shadow-man!"

Shadows are safer than the light.

"What lurks in the shadows?"

BITCH I'M TOUCHING

“These specimens have been conditioned for contact. They’re safe. But if you see them in the wild, DO NOT approach. It’s very dangerous.” “Why? Are they aggressive?” “No, they’re extremely friendly and very playful. That’s why it’s dangerous.”