I Recite The Entirety Of This In My Head When I’m Bored.

I recite the entirety of this in my head when I’m bored.

Yo, listen up! We're talkin' bout Dark Souls.

Hardest fuckin' game in the world. (Baby)

Yo, I just finished this game

Far from tame it puts the rest to shame

It's the hardest motherfucker that I ever defamed

Dark Souls shake me up when I remember its name

Hey bro, I heard you also beat Dark Souls cold

Fuck no, (What?) I couldn't even clear the tutorial

This shit is like a thousand sharks bitin' my nuts

It's the spiky dick of Satan all up in my guts

Yeah listen, I also had a horrible time

Turned my penis to slime and pooped my pants at a random time

Ended up convulsing on the floor having seizure after seizure

'Til my body couldn't take more

I've died 8000 times (Yeah!)

I've lost my friggin' mind (Come on!)

This game's impossible to beat within the span of one man's life (Hell yeah!)

Coincidentally, brain damaged mentally

Caved my fuckin' skull in with my cat accidentally

Is he dead?

Fuck yeah, never stood a chance even

Wanted Cuddles locked in battle with the fuckin' Capra Demon

Shit fuck yeah my tits exploded from that boss

So did mine

Chest is drippin' with somethin I'm callin' titty sauce

Beat my dad up 'cause I was mad as fuck

Lost your souls?

And now I lost my dad 'cause he's dead

But I was really mad so you can understand

Of course man! Had surgery for broken bones in my hand

From punching every single person that I met in the adrenal gland

Every try's the same

The hate flows through my veins

I've had enough, I'm giving up

Please jam this fork in my brain (Yo that hurts!)

My spirit's filled with dread

I envy the dead

I'd rather fight ten starving lions with meat stapled to my head

Got so mad from playing Dark Souls

So I stole unmarked gold

Melted down to fucking lava that I drank so I could fart gold

Ended up having to eat charcoal

Giving me some very sharp pain in my butthole

Fucked a cow, 'cause I couldn't figure out how

It was possible to beat motherfuckin' Ornstein and Smough

That's nothing, built a time machine

Walked inside

Traveled back in time

Took a dump inside Caesar's eye

Dark Souls fucked me up so much that I died

I resurrected back to life and then I started to cry

Then I realized that I really don't know why

We keep letting this game fuckin' antagonize

Then I ripped out my eyes

So as to compromise

I will never let Dark Souls traumatize

And control my life

Made me divorce my wife

Hey, the new DLC came out!

Oh dude fuck nice!

(Day 66 of “Daily” Dan pic/lyrics)

“I've died 8000 times. I've lost my friggin' mind, this game's impossible to beat within the span of one man's life. Coincidentally, brain damaged mentally, caved my fuckin' skull in with my cat (accidentally).”

- Hardest Fucking Game in the World, The Tryforce