Actually Horrifying. How Can You Not Want Men To Literally Just Drop Dead En Masse. Also Plenty Of Comments

say it with me:

ABORTION IS HEALTHCARE.

ABORTION IS A HUMAN RIGHT.

ALL GENDERS CAN GET AN ABORTION.

me, as a child lining up stuff in rows: now this is how you have fun

THE BARBIE MOVIES ARE JUST HIGH BUDGET FANFICTIONS

Welcome to Weird White House, a new series on the wacky facts that I find and/or remember off the top of my head about the US presidents. I say "weird" with all the love in my history nerd heart.

We start the series (and year) off with:

CALVIN COOLIDGE

THIS DELIGHTFUL DUDE

JUST DELIGHTFUL.

Nicknamed "Silent Cal" because he apparently wasn't super talkative (and it totally wasn't his secret gangster name), Coolidge:

-had a pet raccoon named Rebecca which was sent to him from someone who thought he should make it his Thanksgiving dinner and his family was like NAH THIS IS PET MATERIAL

-he loved being photographed wearing Native American headresses (he was adopted into the Sioux tribe), so here's what that looked like:

AND HE WAS PHOTOGRAPHED IN THESE THINGS

I would 1000% vote for an candidate who swaggered around with their name on their giant cowboy chaps.

-After President Harding's sudden death, Coolidge was woken up in the middle of the night, sworn in by lantern light by his dad (who was a notary), and then he went back to bed. Priorities.

-speaking of which, Coolidge slept 12 HOURS A DAY PLUS NAPS. Role model for us all.

-he had a mechanical horse in the White House that he used for exercise. Its nickname was "Thunderbolt".

Tragically, it didn't look like the ones that used to be outside Walmart:

You're welcome for that whole mental image of a stern-faced Coolidge rocking off into the sunset on a mechanical box.

-despite his stern demeanor, Coolidge had a very dry, sarcastic sense of humor which a lot of people didn't get, which brings us to

MY FAVORITE FACT ABOUT CALVIN

-Coolidge liked to press buttons in the Oval Office and hide under the desk while the Secret Service ran around looking for him

I KID YOU NOT THIS MAN WAS A P R A N K S T E R

Additional photos of interest that exist:

1.) Coolidge staring at a cow:

(someone please caption that)

2.) COOLIDGE'S KITTIES BLACKIE AND TIGER:

so freaking cute

And finally

3.) Coolidge exercising with the Speaker of the House, as one does:

So if Coolidge isn't one of your top favorite presidents by now, go sleep for 12 hours and try again.

Me at 11:59:

Me at 12:00:

Me at 12:01:

I HEAR THOSE SLEIGH BELLS JINGLING

RING TING TINGLING TOOOOOOOOOOOOO

COME ON IT’S LOVELY WEATHER

FOR A SLEIGH RIDE TOGETHER WITH YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

Imagine where the reader is calming down her now drunk boyfriend at a pub (B.H. Roger Taylor) from getting into a bar fight because another guy “flirted” or “touched” you. Angst and FLUFF xxoxoxo

(A/N: Thank you for requesting @inlovewithmybicycle 😊😊😊. Also, I feel like this around the beginning of Queen, so just go with it 😂.)

(P.s. Also low key kinda proud of my self cause I wrote this in like half an hour.)

-C

Y/N’s POV

Roger is such a baby when he’s drunk. He’s prone to having temper tantrums, screaming and yelling, and even throwing things. So, when Roger has decided to throw a punch at some guy at the bar, I knew I had to step in.

You see, Roger had wandered off and because I wasn’t too worried that he would get into trouble, I went to go get another drink.

As I was waiting for my drink, an obviously intoxicated man came up to me and started hitting on me. (I’m mean who wouldn’t y’all are gorgeous af). I had dealt with this type of situation before, so I knew to just ignore the guy and reject his advances. Everything was fine until the creep decided to grab my hips and try and kiss me.

It was almost as if an alarm went off in my head telling me Roger was coming and I could tell he was not happy.

Suddenly the man was pulled from me by my boyfriend. Roger had a raised fist and was gripping the guy by the collar of his shirt.

Knowing the consequences of the fight I yanked on Roger’s raised arm, letting him know I wanted to leave.

He looked between me and the stranger for a few moments before deciding to drop him.

He directed me towards the exit and through the crowd that had congregated around the expected fight.

“Did he hurt you Y/N?”

“Rog I’m fi-“

“God, if I had the chance, that jackass would be 6 feet under ground by now.”

Roger was red in the face and his heavy breathing and pacing wasn’t helping calm his fury.

I walked over to him and placed both of my hands on his shoulders in an attempt to get him to stop for a second.

He looked at me with soulful eyes and I couldn’t help but melt under his gaze. He just wanted me to be safe, but he always toook things to extremes.

“Roger, I’m fine. Nothing I’ve never seen or heard before.”

“I don’t want you to get hurt.”

His words were slurring and I could tell that the alcohol was catching up with him.

“I just don’t want people talking to you like that or touching you, especially the touching part. I’m the only one that can do that stuff. You’re mine.”

I leaned in to his chest and wrapped my arms around him and he rested his chin on my head.

“You’re just trying to protect me and I understand that, but I wish you wouldn’t take things so far Rog.”

“I would do anything for you, love. Even if it meant causing a little mayhem.”

I laughed slightly at that comment knowing it was probably true. Also knowing Roger, there would always be mayhem involved.

“I love you Y/N.”

It sounded like heaven coming from his mouth. Every time he said it, I could hear angels sing.

“I love you too.”

He may be a drunk idiot, but he’s my drunk idiot.