I Absolutely LOVED All The Sfth Content We Got Yesterday, So Here's One Of My Favourite Highlights In

reblog if you need to lose 40 pounds (18kg) or more

when you see your crush and you want to seem like a dainty lil gorl

growing up I was always afraid of being Found Out. not sure what I was hiding. just my whole self I guess

When i asked to be fucked i did not mean by life

I am staying hydrated, are You staying hydrated?

IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT

'we were totally not doing anything bad mom'

*pause* 'lets just not talk about it'

*nodding to confirm the shed is indeed full of used tampons*

(oh my god I forgot for a sec that the tampons were USED.. sometimes ignorance is bliss)

*•°•* unconventional self care motivation *•°•*

Reasons to stay alive:

- you could meet god and that bastard does not deserve to be graced by your presence 😤

-spite god

-outlive your enemies

-if life wants you dead that badly it will do it itself, don't help it

- your existence annoys someone that you hate and that's powerful

- disappoint your parents (if you have them and want to that is)

Reasons to brush your teeth:

- clean mouth knives hehe

- if they fall out you won't be able to bite homophobes anymore

- future archeologists/paleontologists will compliment how well preserved you are

- be the only person in the nursing home w/o dentures and feel superior for it

- so you can eat (See reasons to eat)

Take your vitamins:

-so that you have strength to run from the police

- so that you don't lose your eyesight (if you have it) and you can watch the downfall of your enemies

- don't get scurvy *cue sea shanties*

Stay hydrated:

- to ensure that you always have to piss 😳 this may seem like a bad thing but... you never know when it could come in handy (the graves of your enemies looking a little dry perhaps?)

- your body is basically a giant water slide. And everyone knows water slides w/o water suck

- this is more of a tip than a reason but tea is equally as hydrating as water and has antioxidants and small amounts of vitamins so technically you can live off of it (like i do lol) if you don't like how water tastes 😌

- if you're dehydrated you won't have as much blood :((

Reasons to eat:

- not everyone can, think about moths. Moths can't eat so enjoy food for the moths that can't

- also gives you strength to run from police

- strength to beat up abusive parents (doesn't have to be your parents)

- chewing regularly makes your jawline sharper and your jaw stronger, also good for biting

Reasons to get enough sleep:

- being unconscious. its not being awake which is pretty great imo

- dream about whatever tf you want with no consequences

- your stuffed animals don't get to come to life until you sleep

Reasons to shower:

- the police dogs will have a harder time following your scent

- wash off dead skin- now the only skin you have is alive

- idk about ya'll but I come up with some of my best comedic material while dissociating in the showers

-cmon bubbles and splashing are still fun no matter how old you are don't lie to yourself

Reasons to go outside:

- don't let the sun forget your face >:( make your threats known to him

- alternatively look at the moon 🥺 need I say more

- you could see someone walking their dog and get to pet it or maybe a stray cat will be friendly and you can pet it 👉👈

- ....vandalize

- find pretty rocks, take then home with you or put them in your pockets for throwing at police cars later

- climb trees, maybe you will scrape your knee maybe you will find something cool like a birds nest or a cocoon

Anyways this was all I could think of right now! Take care of yourselves and feel free to add on to this with your own motivations