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and barty IS (not was) the crowley to evan’s azi

Evan Rosier was beautiful in same way biblically accurate angels are

black family dinners were high fashion editorial absurdity bordering on surrealism. they were famous for always starting obscenely late because every single one of them is taking hours to perfect their appearance. the house of black rests on narcissistic individuality - they all think they’re the hottest, smartest, most fashionable person in the room, including (especially) sirius and andromeda. walburga and druella are constantly trying to outdo one another with how extravagant the dinner itself can be, which means they’re eating shit you’ve never heard of before served by house elves on stilts

having a low social battery is something else like my friend asked if she could come over to my house today and i said yes. i rlly enjoy her company and shes a pretty good friend of mine. but im still counting down the hours until she goes home so i can spend some time alone

this is amazing wtf

jegulus fic where james is a youtuber/streamer who does all sorts of pretty crazy pranks and people ADORE him because he's totally shameless.

one day he gets dared to crash a wedding and oppose it, pretending to be in love with either the groom or the bride.

and even though his editor (and bestest friend) remus told him that that's fucking insane, james still chose to do it bc he's a menace. but he does promise to cut it all off if things get messy.

james gets everything ready and, after stalking some of his old school classmates, he finds that one of them is attending a wedding (it's mulciber, who james remembers to despise back then, so it's a win-win situation), which means his plan is all set.

by fate, and fate only, this wedding is regulus' and some girl's his parents chose for him (and mulciber was invited bc his family is very close to the black's)

and obviously, this is a clear forced marriage, regulus would rather kill himself than marry a girl, he's as gay as they come.

[for sake of the plot, sirius and james don't know each other at all, didn't go to school together either, and sirius didn't run away and is also livid with his parents for marrying reg off, but there wasn't anything he could do]

so! prank day, james is live the moment he, very dramatically, stands up and proclaims his love for this.... regulus guy, and how he knows he promised to not come but he just couldn't handle the thought of the love of his life being married to someone else (his followers thought he was going to claim to love the bride, but james found the groom way too cute and he just couldn't hold himself back, he's just a guy)

the 30 seconds of pure silence and shock that follow are almost enough to make james break character and start laughing like crazy.

regulus, who's flabbergasted by the way, knows immediately that it's a prank. however, this might as well be a sign of the gods, because, what are the chances that this (very handsome) random man, chose HIS wedding out of all, and targeted HIM to be the one he "loves"? way to many coincidences.

also, did he mention the dude is unbelievably fit?

he makes a choice right there.

using all his acting abilities, he makes a whole scene tearing up and running to him. it's so well done, james for a second believes they are actual lovers.

hell breaks at that moment, walburga goes absolutely nuts along with orion and their side of the family. the bride's family start a fight, and between the commotion regulus sees his brother laughing maniacally after their mother yells at regulus to stop playing games or he will get disowned.

james, who thinks that this is now along the lines of things getting messy, is about to announce it's all a prank, when regulus sees right through him, panics, and just whispers "im going to kiss you now, sorry" before snogging the life out of him.

remus, who's the camera guy, cuts the live right there.

james, oh james, he doesn't quite hear the screech walburga lets out because this backfired so bad, but jesus chirst can this regulus kiss. this is love at first sight. love at first prank, if you may.

regulus knowing stuff is about to get bad, just grabs james' hand and runs for it. james just follows, he's dizzy. remus also follows because he's NOT getting involved in all that, he's actually quitting james.

sirius follows too, if his little brother is finally disowned, there's no reason to stay, thank you very much.

anyways, this whole idea was just because i want james followers to see his channel thumbnails going:

CRASHING A RANDOM WEDDING 💍 PRANK #56

to

how i met the love of my life ; Q&A

and

REG AND I ARE GETTING MARRIED (im sealing all entries so no-one can crash it) — VLOG

bye

miss the times where i could just have fun, analyze taylor swift lyrics, read books, cuddle with my parents, without thinking about how many assignments i have due, have i practiced piano yet?, oh no i forgot to take my meds, and don’t chat her, ahe’s probably busy with her bsf rn.

what’s a birthday without the feeling of existential dread?

*sighs dreamily* what is Wrong with him

the one that got away by katy perry except it’s ahb! james and ahb! reg

listening to radiocreep while studying math from my exam by jotting down formulas and solutions on my tiled floor with an erasable gel crayon cause i don't have a whiteboard or an erasable marker >>>>