Ohhhhh

A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.

A question mark walks into a bar?

Two quotation marks “Walk into” a bar.

A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, drinking to drink.

The bar was walked into by a passive voice.

Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They drink. They leave.

Imagine the Avengers getting hit with some sort of spell that makes them revert to their first language

and everyone expects to be unable to understand Natasha’s Russian or Thor’s Norse (Allspeak is great but it isn’t his first language according to the spell)

but then Steve starts spouting Gaelic, because he grew up speaking English in public but his immigrant mother taught him her own language first

Tony speaks either Spanish or Italian, because that’s what his first nannies spoke

and the spell considers ASL a language just as much as any spoken language, so Clint is just signing and making faces at people

and Bruce is just very confused (“Why do you expect me to be speaking a different language? I’m from Ohio.”)

tips for writing bilingual characters

there are different types of bilinguals

the All Around: speaks, reads, and writes both languages pretty well

the Conversational: one language is stronger than the other; can speak the other language a lot better than they read/write it (a lot of kids of immigrants are this type)

the High Schooler: understands what’s being said to them in the other language, can’t really speak it

don’t have your characters randomly drop words from their other language mid-sentence around people who don’t speak it lol

languages are a mindset thing. like personally if i’m around english-speakers, i’m speaking english and i don’t really switch to my other language (which is portuguese)

so like if you’re writing a bilingual character who speaks spanish and have them say something like “hey chad let’s go to the biblioteca” to an english speaker i’ll probably spend 5 minutes laughing and then close your story lmao

exception: the character is speaking in their weaker language and forgot a word (”where are the…? uh… llaves…. keys! keys, where are they?”)

otherwise really the only time your character should be randomly switching languages mid-sentence is if they’re talking to another bilingual

like i don’t speak spanish but i’ve legit never heard a spanish speaker say “ay dios mio” to gringos lmao

conversations between two bilingual people can take a few different forms:

Pick One: they pick one language and kinda stick with it for the whole conversation (a conversation i might have with my portuguese-speaking mom: ”you okay?” “yeah, i’m good. how’re you?” “i’m fine, but your dad-”)

Back-and-Forth: someone says something in one language, the other person replies in the other (”tudo bem?” “yeah, i’m good. how’re you?” “tou bem, mas o seu pai-”)

Combo: they speak a combo of the two languages, a popular example being spanglish, though basically every bilingual has their own combo language (”tudo bem?” “sim, tou bem. how’re you?” “i’m fine, mas o seu pai-”)

when in doubt: just ask a bilingual to look at your stuff and tell you if anything sounds weird

I am literally in love with the fact I get to see how my little cousins interact even with a language barrier. On my mom’s side, I have a 3 year old little cousin who only speaks French, and on my dad’s side I have a 2 year old cousin who only speaks Spanish. When they play together it is so funny to see them blabber on and on to each other until one of them hears a word that sounds familiar and then they just repeat that word and nod like they’re totally connecting. Like today the one that speaks Spanish said “Venga a poner los pantalones en la muneca!” and the other heard “pantalones” and was just like “Oui, pantalon!” They’re best friends and it’s the cutest and funniest thing I’ve ever seen.

The way that exclusionists treat ace and aro people often reminds me of how the average person would treat me when I started being open as non-binary. I’ve said it once and I’ll say it a thousand times, we are not enemies. Our experiences do not oppose each other, they are intertwined. If you’re ace, if you’re aromantic, if you’re any variation thereupon; your home is here. You belong here, too. You are beautiful, and powerful; and you don’t have to explain yourself to anyone. You are a valued part of this community.

When you drink alcohol, both you and the alcohol get drunk.