Madara Is A Bad Uncle (and An Even Worse Babysitter)

As someone who does not pay attention to lyrics in songs, I am always afraid someone who does pay attention is going to come along and see my music and be like “why are you listening to songs about kicking orphans and diverting funds from public libraries?” Like, I dunno! That’s news to me! The beat was fresh and the vibes were funky! I lose all knowledge of human language when the drum goes bop bop. I am as surprised and alarmed as you are.

Sirius would 1000% support regulus and his arsonist ways

Reg: “Siriiiiii! I’m bored!”

Si: “Well what do you wanna do?”

R: “I wanna make an explosion”

S: “...okay... how about we go on the roof and light some fireworks?”

R: “boooooriiiiing. Been there done that. I need something more exciting than that!”

S: “hooooow abooooout.... we light fireworks in the kitchen?”

R: “Y E S”

i love tiny arsonist feral reg

I don’t really have time to run an fic-writing event (I have no experience with that), but today I was overcome with Inspiration to design a Harry Potter Worldbuilding Bingo Fic Challenge. So, here are the rough potential categories, subcategories, and specific prompts I came up with today for that (under the cut, based largely on my own interests, I will admit). 

Category Example: Crafting and Workmanship 

Subcategory Example: Fashion in the Wizarding World 

Specific Prompt Examples: A Week of Albus Dumbledore’s Wardrobe Choices OR an Overview of the Best-Dressed Professors and Students of Hogwarts OR Designing New Yule Ball Outfits for Characters 

Excerpts of my fav potential specific prompts (from below the cut): 

Luna Lovegood and Colin Creevey start a Hogwarts newspaper in their first year (and nobody knows what to do about this)

It’s Card Game Night in Gryffindor Tower (People May Die)

the Seventh-Years of 1992-1993 face their NEWTs with Gilderoy Lockart as their Defense teacher (someone help them)

Hermione tries to discuss university options with Harry and reacts with horror when Harry reveals he had no idea that there were magical universities

A Hogwarts teacher writes journals/papers for a publication and gets into an academic feud with a Beauxbatons teacher

The poor Ministry worker who has to deal with the sobbing preschooler whose parents jokingly told them they’d go to prison for performing Underage Magic even accidentally

Slughorn quizzes his students in a fun and relaxed lesson in a game called “Is this an alcoholic cocktail or a potion?”

Keep reading

i was reading through all the asks of reg surviving the cave and like y'know there's a bunch of fics where he and sirius meet up and they try to get horcruxes safely or whatever but I'm just imagining regulus keeps on doing the most wild stunts and lighting things on fire and going wild and everyone keeps thinking he keeps dying but somehow he's never dead and no one knows what's happening because I saw him die but I also just saw him on the news setting fire to the church of england and i also got a call that the malfoy estate was burned down moony what's happening help

regulus: you should have killed me when you had the chance.

Sirius, at Regulus's funeral: Can I have a moment alone with him, please?

*everyone leaves*

Sirius, leaning over the casket: I know you're not really dead, dipshit.

Regulus, from inside: Yeah bro, no shit.

In which Walburga told baby Regulus that 'Black's do not bend to anyone', so years later, when there's this wannabe Dark Lord with no actual pureblood linage (Salazar family line never continued as far as he knows) and he sees his family becoming pathetic for following a nobody, he refuses to acknowledge their desires for him to be a Death Eater (and his whole family in general for being disgraces to the Black name) and, instead, works to find ways of preserving their good name once this whole insanity was over.

Regulus, to Sirius who was going to the Potters: It's better if you leave now, brother. I, for my part, will stay here to uphold the true name of the Blacks and their values: elegance, power, and greatness. I have no time to waste in the pathetic games of a nobody our parents so disgracefully have fallen for.

BAMF regulus!! BAMF regulus!!

“The next time I catch you Regulus, I’ll drag you to Azkaban and hand you in myself.”

the most unrealistic thing about harry potter

is that no teacher ever called him James by accident, or that Ron never was called “Bill-, eh Charl-, no Per-, argh!”

Five [MASTERPOST]

A Kakashi-centric Naruto fan comic centering around the events that occurred when Kakashi was five years old, from his early graduation to his father’s suicide.

Please note that this is a story about a child soldier living in a world where being raised for war is commonplace, so there is a global content warning for this sort of child abuse, gore/violence, and death.

(1),(2),(3),(4),(5),(6),(7) (8),(9),(10)

(11),(12),(13),(14),(15),(16),(17),

(18),(19),(20) (21),(22),(23),(24),

(25),(26),(27),(28),(29),(30),(31),

(32),(33),(34),(35),(36),(37),(37.5)

(38),(39),(40),(41),(42),(43),(44)

(45),(46),(47),(48),(49),(50),(51),

(52),(53),(54),(54.5)(54.9),(55),(56),

(57),(58),(59),(60),(61),(62),(63),(64)

(65),(66),(67),(…)

Also available to read on AO3.

do yourself a favor and read “Oh God, Not Again!” by Sarah1281

it is a harry potter fanfic from like 2009, 160k words, 50 chapters

basically, adult Harry accidentally goes back in time and wakes up on his 11th birthday again, but with all his memories of the future intact

(the way he travels back makes no sense whatsoever but it doesn’t really matter)

harry decides upon 3 goals:

fuck up as much shit as possible

make a shitload of money

save some lives or whatever

it is

H I L A R I O U S

his go-to explanation for how he knows what’s going to happen?

he has a psychic scar

(hermione is SO PISSED about this)

(neville’s like “either he’s psychic, or he’s the greatest conman alive”)

everyone just sort of assumes harry’s insane and he doesn’t do much to dispute this

harry also decides to make it his mission in life to LOSE the house cup every year

“snape is my sole ally”

he also goes out of his way to befriend neville, ginny, and luna earlier this time, so they’re part of the gang throughout and it’s great

even draco is a friend!

(kind of)

(when harry’s not spreading a rumor that draco’s the lovechild of narcissa and snape, anyway)

harry’s motivation for everything he does in this story is basically, “oh, this will be hilarious”

either that or, “it’s probably a tax deductible”

because the way lockhart is written in this story is also amazing and harry ends up teaming up with him to merchandise The Boy Who Lived so he can have cash to burn

(so he gets a LOT of shit done via bribes)

it gets to the point where harry is able to convince everyone that he’s not the heir of slytherin…. because if he was, he’d have found a way to make money off of it

and everyone’s like “yeah ok that checks out”

in this timeline, neville’s boggart isn’t snape…. it’s harry as the minister of magic

harry also decides to make sure cedric lives by quizzing him constantly on what to do if he ends up in a graveyard

harry: by the way, that reminds me – cedric. graveyard.

cedric, not even really listening: run like hell.

the sheer magnitude to which harry does not give a fuck in this timeline is truly awe-inspiring

he mouths off to everyone, and i mean everyone. lockhart, snape, the dursleys, malfoy, friggin’ voldemort

everyone is like “what… what the fuck, harry”

(though by the end of first year it’s more like “… *deep sigh* … fine.

snape is so angry

it’s fucking hysterical and just about everyone ends up better off

here’s the link

thank me later