My favorite thing about Star Trek is explaining to people who aren't familiar with it exactly how unrepentantly horny it is.
"what do you mean star trek invented the fuck or die trope?? WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT WAS IN THE FIRST EPISODE OF THE SECOND SEASON?"
They don't even know about Risa the pleasure planet yet đ or all the human-alien hybrid characters. Rip Gene Roddenberry you would've loved AO3.
I've slowly been chipping away at drawing scenes from that imaginary Muppet retelling of the Princess Bride, figured it was about time to share what I've drawn on Tumblr!
Tribbles Ornament
many trans people have terrific bird names (jay, wren, raven, robin, piper) but it feels like shorebirds are underexplored territory.
avocet: 7/10 great sound, very elegant. fails the starbucks test
killdeer: 9/10 imagine meeting a killdeer at a party. banger
woodcock: 3/10 probably not worth it but extremely funny bit potential for a trans dude
plover: 10/10 this one's real actually. where are all the plovers
heron: 8/10 you'd get a lot of "hera" but that's good too
dowitcher, godwit: 4/10 but very dark souls
sora: this one's taken actually. sorry.
brant. willet. whimbrel. grebe. we're missing out folks
gender to me is like a car i dont really want one and society would be much better if it was not structured around it. but i got one because it helps me get around and sometimes its fun to make it go fast
(I keep updating this list so check back later)
The Beatles: 0/10. None of these people are beetles, theyâre just a bunch of fruity guys from Liverpool with matching haircuts
Pink Floyd: 4/10. There is not a single person named Floyd in the band, but some of the members do arguably look kinda pink
Nirvana: 10/10. Getting high and listening to Nirvana is roughly what I imagine actual nirvana to be like
Foo Fighters: either 0/10 or 10/10. I have never seen foo in real life so either theyâre pretending to fight a problem that doesnât exist or theyâre doing an absolutely fantastic job of fighting it
The Eagles: 0/10. Same as the Beatles, there is not a single eagle in this band. The name is misleading and we have all been lied to
Queen: 6/10. Partial points for Freddie Mercury
Led Zeppelin: 0/10. I donât think any of these guys have ever even seen a zeppelin, let alone one made of lead. A lead balloon would crash faster than my hopes and dreams
The Rolling Stones: 3/10. There is not a single stone in this band. Some points added because Iâm pretty sure they rolled quite a few
U2: 0/10. Despite what the name says, I am not a member of this band
Metallica: 9/10. Naming a metal band âMetallicaâ is like naming your dog âdoggyâ
Red Hot Chili Peppers: 2/10. These guys are not chili peppers. Theyâre not even that hot, let alone red hot
Guns Nâ Roses: 0/10. How the fuck could a gun or a flower play music
Backstreet Boys: ?/10. Depends entirely on their current given location
Simon and Garfunkel: 10/10. No notes
The Doors: 1/10. Jim Morrison is kinda shaped like a door tho
Chicago: 4/10. The number of people in this band does not come even remotely close to the population of Chicago. Points added because it originated in Chicago
Earth, wind, and fire: 2/10. This is even more innacurate than Chicago. Points added because wind instruments were often used
Def Leppard: 3/10. There is not a single leopard in this band. Some of the members are probably kinda deaf by now tho
The Beach Boys: ?/10. Accuracy depends entirely on location
The Black Eyed Peas: 6/10. Not sure what the hell an âeyed peaâ is but the black part is pretty accurate
Imagine Dragons: ?/10. Depends entirely on whether or not theyâre thinking about dragons.
Cage the Elephant: 1/10. Why would you do that. Let the elephant go
Green Day: 0/10. Theyâre not even green
The Police: 0/10. There is not a single cop in this band
KISS: 5/10. Iâm sure they probably kissed sometimes
The Monkees: 0/10. Are you fucking kidding me
We Butter the Bread with Butter: 8/10. I canât verify this but I have no reason to suspect that theyâd lie. Butter seems like the most logical thing to butter bread with
King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard: 0/10. I got really excited about the concept of a lizard wizard only to be let down. My disappointment is immeasurable
They Might Be Giants: 5/10. I googled everyone in this bandâs height, the tallest guyâs only 6â1 so I wouldnât exactly consider him a giant. Then again, I canât really argue because the claim was only that they MIGHT be giants
The Presidents of the United States of America: 2/10. None of these people are Joe Biden nor are any of them former presidents. This is incredibly misleading. Iâm pretty sure âLumpâ was written about my first girlfriend tho so Iâll give them a point or two
Gorillaz: 2/10 Not quite but weâre kinda close genetically so Iâll give them partial credit
The Killers: ?/10. I have no way of verifying if theyâve actually killed before but the fact that theyâre not in prison tells me probably not
The Offspring: 10/10. These guys are definitely somebodyâs offspring
Arctic Monkeys: 1/10. They are neither monkeys nor are they from the arctic
Thirty Seconds to Mars: 1/10. It takes WAY longer to get to mars than that
Beastie Boys: 8/10. Theyâre pretty beast on the guitar
Jimmy Eat World: 1/10. Slow the fuck down Jimmy, youâre biting off way more than you can chew
Hole: 9/10. One point deducted because Iâm pretty sure they had more than one hole
Rage Against the Machine: 10/10. They did exactly that
Alice In Chains: 0/10. This is illegal. Let Alice go
The Band: 10/10. This could not possibly be more accurate
Nine Inch Nails: 1/10. I canât find any good pictures of their feet but from what I can tell their fingernails definitely arenât nine inches long
Bush: ?/10. Not quite sure about this one, felt uncomfortable asking
The Who: 2/10. Iâm not dealing with this âWhoâs On Firstâ bullshit
Radiohead: 0/10. Not a single person in this band has a radio for a head
Queens of the Stone Age: 0/10. This band should be called âfive random dudes from the modern eraâ but FRDFTMA is a bit of a mouthful
Soundgarden: 2/10. Sound does not grow in the garden
Sonic Youth: 5/10. Theyâre not exactly youth anymore but the sonic part checks out
Talking heads: 8/10. Thereâs more to the band than just a bunch of disembodied heads but the heads do tend to talk
The Cranberries: 0/10. Decent music but I only added them so that the Beatles and Freddie Mercury werenât the only fruits on this list
The Wiggles: 8/10. They do tend to wiggle a lot
If I had a nickel for every time a character voiced by Keston John was shipped with a neurodivergent inventor with a predominantly purple color palette I would have two nickels
they need to make hrt that replaces your skin with metal plates and your internal organs with circuitry
My favorite part of the new d20 ep was when the night yorb said "it's yorbin' time" and then yorbed all over the place