Every Single Odd Number Has An “e” In It.

like what’s up manger

me reading smut and calculating in my head the positions the characters are in

Who you were

Harley Sawyer character analysis (part 1: Youth/Teenagerhood)

This part of character's backstory is unfairly overlooked while I find it the most interesting aspect in building up Sawyer's personality.

So I will provide documents in chronological order analysing and theorising regarding them.

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First document concerns Young Geniuses Program run by Elliot Ludwig. One of Playtime employees (or even Elliot himself) writes his observations regarding teenage Harley Sawyer

"Harley Sawyer

This boy is a curiosity among these young minds. He cares little for friendship in the way each of the others seem to, nor does he care to treat his work or his scientific processes as anything other than serious. In this boy, I believe I sense a drive unlike any I've seen, and he has the smarts to match. If I might just be a tad selfish here, he is EXACTLY who I hoped this program would attract.

But despite not caring for his comrades' company or the fun of our project, he DID take an immediate and very noticeable interest in me. The boy hardly smiles, save for when the two of us work on an invention, locked in the throes of another grand experiment. I've tried to ask him questions— get a sense for who he is. And while he doesn't say much, from how he talks about home, I get a sense he doesn't miss it. A mind such as his can be quick to isolate himself from his peers, and if not surrounded by kindness, that mind can twist. The way he spoke almost made me feel sorry for him.

But this, doing what we're doing here, with me, he told me it was ALL he ever wanted.

I've taken a liking to the boy, and I confess, I hope to keep him around. He's sharp, intelligent, curious, and fiercely determined. I think we've got something special in him. If I'm right, I think he might just be who leads science into the future."

Line "If I might just be a tad selfish here, he is EXACTLY who I hoped this program would attract." hints that Ludwig is the one writing it

It seems like Harley was neurodivergent from birth and never before Playtime's program felt understood by others, including his family. I guess it's implied that his family is toxic or even abusive but there are multiple options: Abuse has different types, less or more severe, may come from one or both parents...

Or if it's just Harley being that unreliable narrator who made his family sound toxic and way worse than they really are? Though telling that to his mentor sincerely, from his genuine point of view, because it's how he sees the world through his irregular mind. Maybe Sawyer's family doesn't understand him and tries to "fix" him without being outright abusive or toxic but still not giving Harley that type of treatment which will work for him. And Harley, being egotistical, doesn't listen to them or change. Something similar to how Elliot Ludwig will try to instill the care for humanity in him during YGP, but eventually making Harley only worse.          

Although if his family was indeed nice, they would have taken their kid to psychologist, did something not to let him grow into that monster🤔 + I guess this option is not what the game creators really meant, so it's just "but still a possibility" ramble. 

“A mind such as his can be quick to isolate himself from his peers, and if not surrounded by kindness, that mind can twist. The way he spoke almost made me feel sorry for him.” — what a foreshadowing. It’s interesting how creators straightly stated through Ludwig the reason behind Doctor’s insanity.

Harley seemingly had daddy issues, he found a father figure in Ludwig and looked up to him: “But despite not caring for his comrades' company or the fun of our project, he DID take an immediate and very noticeable interest in me.” 

Sounds like science was Harley’s special interest dismissed by his parents&peers and he never before had an opportunity to fulfill himself in what he truly desired: “The boy hardly smiles, save for when the two of us work on an invention, locked in the throes of another grand experiment.”

“But this, doing what we're doing here, with me, he told me it was ALL he ever wanted.” — isn’t it a heartfelt confession? Harley definitely saw more than just a mentor in Ludwig.

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Eventually Elliot removed Sawyer from the program and wrote a letter to the boy explaining why:

I guess the more they bonded, the more comfortable it became for Harley to be sincere with Ludwig and show his true self. Eventually his “dark” side began to show:   “You finally lashed out at me one evening and stormed out of the lab. "Don't be soft, Elliot." you said. "Progress doesn't care for how anyone feels about it." 

I don’t know when and how exactly Ludwig was rejected (if you have a theory tell me please!) but his motivation is pretty interesting: “I was reminded of what ultimately changed me. Of what gave me the perspective I needed. It was seeing the world and people again, bouncing back from rejection and hardship through connection. In thinking about those days, I'm reminded that rejection can sometimes be the best thing for us.”

“So I challenge you to head for home, Harley, and to look at the people around you.” — I think such teachings sounded even offencive to Harley…I agree with Ludwig's philosophy but to deliver it in such a way to an obstinate person who apparently doesn't like people and lives in a toxic environment while depriving them of their dream job…meh, it sounds nearly as mocking...

“One day, I hope you'll understand. Maybe you'll even thank me. But even still, I'm sorry.” — if only Ludwig knew…In this case rejection made things only worse.

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After receiving the letter about his removal from Ludwig, Harley was taken aback and reacted hysterically. Also there are multiple stains on paper, probably Harley cried while letting out his emotions by writing (or it’s any another type of dirt)

“He took EVERYTHING

I thought you CARED

NOBODY CARES

NOBODY UNDERSTANDS

ELLIOT LUDWIG IS A SOFT, PATHETIC, SMALL-MINDED BACKSTABBER. NOTHING MORE.”

This confirms even more than Harley saw sort of father figure in Ludwig. He took the removal so personally. And seems Harley really doesn’t comprehend he did anything wrong, thinking that it’s just that “nobody understands”. 

“ELLIOT LUDWIG IS A SOFT, PATHETIC, SMALL-MINDED BACKSTABBER” — we heard similar lines in chapter 4, isn’t it?

And we can find Ludwig’s “removal letter”(intact and undamaged!) in the office behind Doctor’s lair:

It means Harley never got over this “betrayal”, remembering the rejection again and again, getting mad at a long-dead man…Infantile side of our “Big bad doctor”.

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The note addressing rat and poppy gel on Ludwig’s table…Who have written it? Who performed the experiment? 

Visualization of the experiment in Doctor’s trailer

Since images seen there are his flashbacks then Harley was present during the performance. We still can’t know whose idea it was but what if Harley was the originator of the whole poppy substance thing? “He took EVERYTHING” — may it have more straight meaning?

Also Doctor’s spite towards Poppy…He knew she was reincarnation of Ludwig’s daughter? Then Ludwig opened up to Harley very much and they were close in work. Or Leith Pierre knew and told him? Or if the Doctor doesn’t know who Poppy really is but when experimenting on her he saw the poppy gel used and was bitter about Ludwig using his invention?

Not long before his demise the Doctor rants to the player: “It was going to be mine…It was ALL going to be MINE! MY discovery! MY recognition! I was the one who paved the golden path! ” — supports the theory that Harley was the one who came up with the idea of reincarnation using a poppy flower. 

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I absolutely love the Doctor’s backstory. Creators let us in some way understand his inner motivation without making us feel bad for him(says person who feels a bit🥴) or think he was right…that good villain backstory without straightforward drama or tragedy. There is a tragedy though a pretty mundane one? Like, lots of people face domestic abuse or struggle to find human connection with neurodiversity and some of such minds really twist if not receiving proper help…but not even half of such minds would do those awful and inhumane things Harley did. 

There’s something poetical in the fact that the main villain who tormented so many innocent children forcing them to become monsters, was once a lost kid who never got proper help…and then will be welcomed to bring the ideas of his twisted mind to life, becoming a monster but in human guise(till one incident🤭) 

And I welcome your comments/theories/remarks! I have spent like 3 weeks? writing this but still may have missed something^) Hope this wasn’t too boring cause you know, I’m a bit pedantic when it comes to analysis (just like Harley, lol🌝)

SPOILERS BELOW THE CUT!

‘Misses home and can’t return.’

…

“How? By what?”

“…by a monster.”

…

The self-hatred, the self-fulfilling prophecy, the embracing of Freaks and ‘Monsters’. Ford’s Paranormal Investigator instincts kicking in, Ford wanting to play the hero FOR Bill. Bill’s humourless laugh and ‘distant expression’, his uncharacteristic seriousness, the angsty, self-deprecating words and tone which Bill uses to describe himself. Ford being blissfully unaware of any of it Bill sardonically, mockingly, bitterly protecting Ford from himself….

This is too much.

…

It also casts this moment in an entirely new light:

Fallen Angel Angle. Beyond salvation. Don’t even try.

…

‘Too annoying for Hell’.

…All right, that last part isn’t really relevant. I just thought it was funny.

(open pages for better image quality)

the moment I heard elphaba's delivery of "there's a girl i know..." in i'm not that girl i knew i had to draw this comic, i strongly recommend listening to it while you read for the full experience!

this comic is a companion to this piece (which was inspired by glinda's delivery of the same line in the i'm not that girl reprise).

pages 1-4 are from elphie's pov, pages 5-8 are from glinda's.

flower meanings in order of appearance:

being a humanities major who’s friends with stem majors is so funny because you’ll ask your friends what they’re doing today and they’re like “UGH it’s so stressful i have to stabilize the reactor core for my nuclear power midterm and then i have to build the supercomputer from i have no mouth yet i must scream for my electrical engineering homework :/ what about you” and you’re like “oh well i have to read a fun little book and write an essay about gender.” and they still think you have it worse

There was a young man from Peru

Whose limericks stopped at line two

Starry Night Over the Rhone (1888) by Vincent van Gogh