Latest Posts by manessathevamp - Page 6
Sometimes stpd is shame. Constant shame. Shame so intense it bleeds out from you, into the rest of the world, where no one is to be trusted, not humanity, not anyone you know, not even yourself.
Shame that defies “common reality," where no one is to be trusted because humanity is inherently sinister. Because everyone you know personally is going to watch you through cameras or kidnap you. They're watching you because they've noticed that there is something "off" about you, that you're inept or otherwise incompetent. And thats why they want to hurt you.
Stpd is to exist in two seemingly contradictory states all at the same time- constant anxiety, and constant apathy.
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I do not believe anyone when they tell me they love me
yeah maybe it’s the schizotypal personality disorder talking but what the freak bro
in my schizotypal arc don’t approach me
I fear I am getting worse I do not trust my therapist or my psychiatrist to tell them this
Anyone get scared to sleep to sleep because they feel entities watching them
cluster a culture is having a safe person who you'd like to talk about stuff and things with and then just. *loud incorrect buzzer* wrong! actually you should shut up forever
I’m getting suspicious of a family member trying to make me sick
"A symptom of being schizotypal is dressing weirdly"
You can just say you have no fashion sense it's okay
ppl saying "we need more weird people" when they cant even handle when a schizo-spec person unmasks around them
people think paranoia is tinfoil hats and conspiracy theories. but no. its an island. its being surrounded by loving people with genuine intentions and being so so so painfully lonely because you're TERRIFIED of the idea that everybody either secretly hates you or wants to hurt you. and you're convinced you deserve it anyways because you're the scum of the earth but you're still avoiding it because you're a coward who can't face the truth. it's begging people to just insult you or doxx you or hit you or whatever because you just wanna get it over with instead of sitting there anticipating 'the inevitable'. it's being attracted to people who abuse you because 'they're the only ones telling the truth'.
Schizotypal is like having thoughts that people are out to get you and your mind convincing you that your friends and family don’t like you
Sometimes I’m ashamed of having schizotypal personality disorder because when I do research, I see loads of serial killers and I think to myself will I become like them? 
I’ve been feeling an entity watching me for the past couple of weeks