Surviving Harassment Doesn’t Mean It Didn’t Affect You. Being Strong Doesn’t Make It Okay. You

"You are your best thing."

Toni Morrison, Beloved

“Justice," she said. "I've heard that word. It's a cold world. I tried it out," she said, still speaking in that low voice. "I wrote it down. I wrote it down several times and always it looked like a damn cold lie to me. There is no justice.” — Jean Rhys, Wide Sargasso Sea

dancing in my storm, may 2025

Surrender the Snail

They asked if I wanted to file a complaint. I said no I’m trying to stay employed, not enter The Hunger Games.

Corporate says we're family!!

To Report or Not To Report...that is the eternal flaming highway wreck of a question.

You are not imagining it. If something feels off, it probably is. Doubt is part of the pattern. So is denial.

“You’re so calm during conflict.”

No babe, that’s dissociation. We all bring our talents to the table...

Anxiety isn't drama...it's data.

Chiharu Shiota: Stairway (2012)

To Anyone Who’s Still Carrying It

You don’t get over it in a straight line. You just don’t. And anyone who tells you different hasn’t been through it or hasn’t faced it yet.

Harassment doesn’t always leave bruises you can point to. It gets under the skin in quieter ways. It makes you second-guess what you heard, how you felt, what you wore, what you said. It can turn a job into a minefield and your own instincts into something you stop trusting.

And it doesn’t end the day you leave the job, or file the report, or speak the truth out loud. Sometimes it lingers. In your body. In your sleep. In how you walk into new rooms.

But here’s what I know: healing doesn’t have to look heroic. It’s not always confrontation or closure. Sometimes it’s just getting through the day without that weight taking over. Sometimes it’s finding one person who listens. Sometimes it’s deciding to stay. Or leave. Or try again.

Whatever it looks like --- that’s valid. You’re allowed to move forward without explaining why it hurt or proving that it did.

It was real. You’re not imagining it. And you are absolutely not alone.